Work Text:
The world felt like it was too much for Lily sometimes. Even the little things. She found herself sat in the corner of a coffee shop, a tea on the table in front of her and a book in her hands. A moment away from the crowds and chaos the city provided. Still though, the few people scattered around engaged in their own conversations felt closer than they were. As if they were on the tables directly around her. Their voices all merged into one, a less than beautiful chorus of scattered tones.
She blinked once. It became too bright. The words on the page before her became jumbled, as if she were seeing them double. She rubbed her eyes. Maybe she was just tired. Putting the book down, she decided that her tea would finally be cool enough to drink. She took a sip. It didn’t taste right. She squinted at the label of the tea bag. It was exactly what she had every time.
Her phone buzzed in her jacket pocket. It made her jump for a second. One hand on her heart, she placed the phone on the table in front of her. It was a message from a friend. Haewon.
Take it easy today. I’m here if you need me.
Weird. How did she know that nothing felt right today? Picking the phone up, Lily typed out her reply.
Are you busy?
She didn’t expect much in terms of a reply. Her friends all had lives of their own. Work keeping them away from the world most days of the week. It only took a second for her to see the typing bubble pop up. Thirty seconds later she had a reply.
I’m working from home. Come over.
With the confirmation she needed, she put her phone away in her pocket and her book in her bag. A bag that felt a lot heavier than it did when she put it on that morning.
The walk to Haewon’s house was luckily short. The sounds of the cars on the road beside her were comforting. Neutral. Enough to keep her ears occupied, but not erratic enough to distress them. It was fine. She was fine.
Someone walked past her, their arm grazing hers slightly. Her grip on the arm of her bag tightened. Knuckles paled, she sped up. The burn in her legs was immediate. She realised it had been a long time since she’d last gone to the gym. That was a thought for another time. Or maybe a thought for now. Who knows.
Haewon’s door was suddenly in front of her. She took her phone out of her pocket and messaged her to let her know she was outside. The burden of ringing the doorbell was far too much. A nuisance to those inside the house. She’d always felt that way. Never liked pressing them. Nor was she much of a fan of knocking. It held the same connotations. That her presence was urgent. She could never believe that about herself.
As the door opened, she was met with a smile. A real one. A bright yet soft one. No words were spoken, just the door being opened further and a step back. Her invitation to enter. It was good. She liked it that way. It meant she had no pressure to talk either. In that moment, she wasn’t sure if she even could anyway.
“Nod for hug, shake your head if not,” Haewon finally spoke.
Lily nodded. Haewon nodded back. She wrapped her arms around Lily as tightly as she could. Held her. Lily melted into the touch. She wondered if anyone would ever understand her as well as Haewon could. The hug was short, but it was enough. She felt her heartbeat slow down a little. It was enough. Haewon took her hand. Held it as tightly as the hug.
Before she knew it, Lily was being led to Haewon’s office room. She didn’t say anything. Neither did Haewon. Lily sat on the couch. It was firm enough for her to not sink into, but soft enough to not hurt. Perfect. Haewon had left the room already. It didn’t take long for her to come back though, a folded weighted blanket in hand with headphones on top.
“I really have to get this work done. You can text me if you need anything.”
Haewon’s words were simple. To the point. But Lily understood them. Knew what they meant. The weighted blanket was beside her now. She unfolded it and placed it over herself, the headphones now covering her ears. The noise cancelling was already turned on. Haewon knew. She always knew.
She watched for a while as Haewon worked. It was after fifteen minutes that she took the headphones off. The only sound she was met with was Haewon typing. She was focused, but Lily could already tell that from her back. Her posture was only so straight when she was focusing. Lily smiled. Was that her first smile of the day? She couldn’t remember.
The world outside the covered window began to darken. The lamp on Haewon’s desk was no longer enough to drown out the bright light of her monitor. Lily closed her eyes. Still too bright. She didn’t say anything though. She didn’t need to. Haewon was already turning it off. It was a minute later that she closed her laptop.
“More weight?” Haewon asked, a playful smile beginning to show itself.
Lily smiled back. Then she nodded. Haewon took a few steps closer to the couch before carefully lowering herself on top of Lily.
The couch didn’t used to be there. The room was barely big enough for one. That was until Lily complained of the floor hurting her back after a while. It was the following day that Haewon messaged their group chat with their friends asking for help carrying a couch into her house. Into her office.
With a sigh, Lily wrapped her arms around Haewon. It was nice. Calming. Reassuring. What she needed. It wasn’t like this for Lily every day. It wasn’t every week. It was sometimes. But on those days, no matter when they were, Haewon was there. Every time.
“How did you know?” Lily questioned. Her voice was raspy. Her only words uttered that day were to order her tea.
Haewon didn’t mind it. Didn’t acknowledge it. She’d already assumed as much.
“You didn’t message me to complain about anything.”
It was a simple reply. But Lily understood. It was all in the little things. The things that only Haewon would ever pick up on about her.
Another ten minutes passed before Haewon yawned. “Have you eaten?”
Lily shook her head. She hadn’t felt hungry all day. If she was honest, she had kind of forgotten about the concept of eating.
“Ramen it is,” Haewon smiled, pushing herself up and off the couch.
Everything was okay. Haewon was there.