Archive of Our Own

“Let’s break up,” Jhoanna heard from Stacey.

“Jho, I miss you,” Stacey whispered after not coming to her for days. It took only a seconds for Jhoanna to come accept Stacey with her whole arms.

“Ayaw ko na!” Then Stacey walked out of Jhoanna’s condo for the nth time.

Jhoanna would sigh and walk straight to her bed to close her eyes. Not knowing what to expect next after Stacey broke up with her again when they just literally got together last week.

“Jhoanna, comeback to me, miss na kita.”

“Nasa’n ka? Pupuntahan kita.”

“Stacey let’s not do this again!”

“No! mabuti pang mag-break muna tayo!” Stacey tugged her wrist from Jhoanna’s grip and got in her car. Leaving Jhoanna at the parking lot.

Jhoanna could only wipe her tears in frustration.

“Stacey, where are you?” Jhoanna called her when Maloi, one of Stacey’s friends informed her that she’s at the bar, wasted.

“Bakit? Do you miss me now?” Jhoanna can literally hear all the noise surrounding the girl she’s talking to, and she couldn’t help but sigh. She doesn’t know what to do anymore.

“Just tell me your location, pati si Ate Maloi nawawala na. Where the hell are you guys?”

“Tell me you miss me, let’s get back together and I’ll tell you.”

“I know Staks, I miss you.”

That was all it took, Jhoanna pursed her lips and got Stacey in her arms now. Fetching her from the bar to take care of her drunken state. They’re back together again.

“I love you, Jhoanna.”

“Oh ano? Kayo na naman? Para kayong tanga!” Sheena blurted out annoyingly at Jhoanna as they walked over to their classroom.

“Hindi na naman ‘to bago Shee, Stacey just always broke up with me when she couldn’t take it anymore. But I know sa akin pa rin siya bumabalik.”

“Na para bang sobrang healthy ng ginagawa niyo? Really? Mag-aaway kayo for some stupid reasons like bakit hindi ka nag-chat sa kaniya na pupunta ka sa laguna to visit your grandparents and then biglang boogsh— break na kayo kasi you got her really mad about it,” Sheena rolled her eyes at Jhoanna, “Hindi ka ba napapagod? That shit move is so immature, Ate Jho.”

“Mahal ko si Stacey,” That is all Jhoanna could even say about everything that Sheena is throwing at her right now.

“No,” Sheena shook her head, obviously not buying her statement, “Not when you’re literally just trying to see it that way.”

Jhoanna doesn’t really know what happened why they became like this. Her relationship with Stacey was full of love before. They were inseparable and gushing over each other nonstop. Magda-dalawang taon na sila, and they’re in their third-year college now. They were freshmen when they committed to each other. Pero sa loob ng halos kalahating panahon ng relasyon nila, hindi na nawala ang away at hiwalayan na palagi rin namang humahantong sa pangungulila nila sa isa’t-isa.

They ended up so toxic but couldn’t stop coming back together. Why? Jhoanna only knows she loves her, that’s why. That’s why she would always chase after her every time Stacey would cut her off because she knows that’s what she wants. To make Jhoanna run to her when literally, she wasn’t the one ending the relationship all the fucking time.

May mga times naman, na si Jhoanna ang tumatapos ng relasyon nila pero sobrang bilang lang ng mga iyon. Nangyayari lang ‘yon kapag hindi na talaga kinakaya ni Jhoanna, pero ang ending, isang matamis na salita lamang galing kay Stacey ay bigay na bigay na agad ang loob niya. Mahal niya e.

“Where the hell were you? Kanina pa ako tumatawag pero hindi ka sumasagot!” Stacey was fuming at Jhoanna as she got inside her car.

“Drained ang phone ko, at tsaka sobrang traffic diyan sa may village niyo, may nagbanggaan yata.” Kalmadong saad ni Jhoanna.

They drove off when Stacey only sighed and rolled her eyes at nowhere. Jhoanna could sense something bad is coming again so she had to get it together and hold her tears back. She’s tired, kakatapos lamang ng reporting nila sa isang major subject and she hurriedly came to pick her up after tapos ganitong aura ang ibibigay ng girlfriend niya?

“Tumawag si Mommy, samahan daw natin siya mag-dinner. Nagkataon na nasa labas siya.” Napalingon si Jhoanna nang sabihin iyon ni Stacey kung kaya’t dahan dahan siyang tumango at nag-drive sa restaurant kung saan naroon ang Mommy ni Stacey.

One good thing about them is that they’re legally known both sides. They’re accepted, and yet they’re becoming too blurred to even say that they’re proud to be supported by their families. Or maybe it’s just what Jhoanna thought about in her head. Maybe Stacey thinks that breaking up with Jhoanna is part of their relationship now and it’s normal.

Not when it’s becoming Jhoanna’s anxiety now.

“So? How’s your application abroad going? Did you got accepted?”

Hindi na magawang malunok ni Jhoanna ang pagkaing nginunguya niya ngayon nang marinig niya iyon sa Nanay ni Stacey. She looked at her girlfriend across with confusion, hurt, and disappointment.

She doesn’t know about this.

“I... still haven’t checked it.”

Tangina ano na naman ‘to? Ani ni Jhoanna sa kaniyang utak. Stacey applied for something and it’s abroad. What was that even? Kailan siya aalis? At bakit balak niyang umalis? Tapos hindi niya alam? What the fuck is she to her now anyways?

“Jho..”

Jhoanna fixed her seatbelt to keep herself from Stacey who just called her. Naihatid na nila ang Nanay ni Staku and now that they’re alone, Stacey finally got the chance to talk to her about the application thing.

“It was just an entry-level job application abroad. Matagal pa ‘yon, after kong gumraduate Jho. It’s nothing,” Stacey tried to explain calmly.

“Kailan mo balak sabihin sa akin? Kapag natanggap ka na?” Nagpipigil na sagot ni Jhoanna. She doesn’t know what to feel. She could’ve been calm about this if she had known sooner but she didn’t! Nagmukha siyang tanga kanina na hindi manlang makaimik sa usapan nilang mag-ina. Wala siyang kamalay malay may ganoon na palang binabalak ang girlfriend niya, or girlfriend pa ba talaga? Because in a relationship, there’s no secrets! Especially this!

Stacey couldn’t say a word as she was trapped with Jhoanna’s question. She doesn’t know exactly how to explain because that application wasn’t even something she’s holding on to because it’s still a risk to just fly abroad and leave everything behind. That application was just nothing but a random try if she could pass. Kaya hindi niya na rin nagawa pang ibalita sa kaniyang nobya.

“Ano bang nangyayari sa atin, Stacey?” Hindi na mapigilang magtanong ni Jhoanna.

Stacey squeezed her brows, “Anong anong nangyayari? Wala namang nangyayari, Jho?”

Jhoanna’s Jaw clenched as she held the steering wheel tightly, “Really? Iyan ba talaga ang nakikita mo sa relasyon natin?”

“Are you for real? Hindi na ito about sa application ko, Jho!”

“Because it is not just about that!”

“Eh ano?!”

“We’re a fucking pain in the ass!” Jhoanna exclaimed.

Silenced crept in between their heavy breathings, surging emotions that has been unknown to them. Or for Jhoanna, an emotion she’s been trying to keep from herself has been out and now there’s no turning back. She could see Stacey’s hurt eyes, becoming bloodshot, lips quivering from what just Jhoanna spilled from her mouth. She couldn’t take back her words anymore, and she knows it just made her girlfriend devastated and wounded.

“S-staks I—”

“So what now? Magb-break na naman tayo?” Stacey smirked sarcastically and brushed her hair back.

That question triggered Jhoanna for another reproaching session, “Paano mo nasasabi ‘yan na parang Ako ang tumatapos?”

“You said we’re a pain in the ass! So what now Jho?! Edi sana hindi ka na lang bumabalik sa akin kung gan’yan ang nararamdaman mo! Siraulo ka pala e!”

Jhoanna could only part her mouth slightly upon hearing what her girlfriend is saying right now. She feels too much, and she doesn’t even know that tears are already streaming down her face. Jhoanna couldn’t take it anymore, napasabunot na lamang siya sa kaniyang buhok at napahilamos sa kaniyang mukha.

“You’re so unfair,” She uttered, nanghihina na.

“And so are you Jho,” Stacey looked away and stared at the window of the car, “You keep coming back to me, yet it doesn’t even feel like we’re coming back together.”

Jhoanna cried out loud. She leaned her head on the steering wheel and feels the exhaustion of her day, and ending it like this? Couldn’t get any better for her. She’s so tired and fucked up.

She couldn’t take it anymore, she’s just breaking down from god knows what. Siguro sa lahat na lang? napapagod siya dahil sino ba ang may mali sa kanilang dalawa? Siya ba? Dahil hinahayaan niyang ganitohin siya ni Staku? Or si Staku dahil hinahayaan niya si Jhoanna?

“Maybe we should really end things,” And there came her favorite words from Stacey. Ending their relationship.

Jhoanna formed a smirk amidst her breaking down as she felt the lightness of her car. Bumaba na si Stacey sa kaniyang sasakyan. Great. And now she’s left alone from here, hurt, confused, mad, and broken.

-

Jhoanna yawned and took a sip from her iced coffee. Nakaupo sila ngayon sa table dito sa cafeteria kasama si Sheena. It has been days since they broke up and she doesn’t even know how to give a damn anymore. Sobrang numb na niya about her relationship with Stacey.

`

“Ate Maloi!” Sheena called Maloi, raising her hand even. Napalingon na lamang si Jhoanna at nakita ang babaeng tinatawag niya kasama si Stacey. It’s lunch break kung kaya’t talagang nandito rin sila sa cafeteria.

Obviously ay naki-table sila dahil inakit sila ni Sheena. Walang imik na lamang silang hinayaan ni Jhoanna na magkwentuhan habang siya ay patuloy sa pagsipsip ng binili niyang iced coffee. Katabi niya si Sheena na kausap si Maloi kung kaya’t ang katapat ni Jhoanna ay si Stacey na tahimik lamang ding kumakain ng kaniyang lunch.

They were both aware of the thick air between them and they didn’t care. Dahil kahit gustuhin ni Jhoanna na umalis sa harap nila ngayon ay hindi niya rin naman magagawa, wala siyang ibang pupuntahan.

“Yes! Friend ko na siya! And ang ganda ganda niya, para siyang si Mama Mary sa sobrang bait!” Maloi squealed kung kaya’t napalingon si Jhoanna.

They’re talking about Aiah, the 4th year student in BSBA Marketing Management department. Nakasama raw ni Maloi sa isang party with Stacey and they got along pretty well. Kaso hindi rin masyadong nakasama ni Stacey dahil she’s busy with someone else. Napalingin pa si Maloi kay Jhoanna nang banggitin niya iyon.

“What? They’re not together naman na ah? Okay lang ‘yan, ‘di ba JhoCey?” Mapang-asar na sambit ni Maloi.

“CR lang ako,” Biglang imik ni Stacey at hindi na pa nag-antay sa sasabihin ng tatlo at umalis na.

“Aguy, may feelings pa yata sa ‘yo beshy ko Jho,” Maloi laughed and was about to say something again when someone called her.

“’Loi!” Pareparehas na napalingon ang tatlo doon at nakita si Aiah, Colet, at Mikha na naglalakad sa kanilang direksyon.

These three walking towards them are obviously friends. Si Colet at Aiah ay kasing year lamang din ni Maloi, mga seniors. Habang sila nila Sheena, Mikha, and Stacey ay 3rd year. They barely know those three so Jhoanna just went back to her iced coffee and didn’t even try to greet them. It wasn’t her usual approach with people but she’s just tired, and... tired. Kaya na nilang mag-usap.

“Naiwan mo ‘to,” Abot ni Colet kay Maloi ng isang green leaf keychain. Nasa likuran lamang niya si Aiah at Mikha na ngayon ay binabati na ni Sheena and Maloi.

“Aray!” Daing ni Jhoanna nang bigla siyang sikuhin ni Sheena at napagtantong siya lamang pala ang hindi bumabati sa mga dumating na dalaga.

Nagpilit na lamang siya ng ngiti at kumaway, Maloi and Sheena apologized at Jhoanna’s behavior and told them that she’s just broken which made Jhoanna glared at Maloi.

“Hi Ate Aiah!” Sheena greeted as if they’re close enough to do that.

The woman smiled up to her ears and greeted Sheena with the same energy. Nasa gilid lamang nila ang tatlong dalaga na nakatayo.

“Ang ganda ganda mo naman, Ate Aiah! Selfie tayo!” That made the others laugh except for Jhoanna because of what had the youngest girl just said. They find her adorable as she even got up to actually take her selfies with Aiah.

“Aray na naman!” Agad na daing ni Jhoanna nang kurutin siya ni Sheena sa balikat at ibinibigay sa kaniya ang phone niya, “Anong gagawin ko rito?!”

“Picturan mo kami ni Ate Aiah!”

She slowly reached for the phone with a long face that caught Aiah’s attention. Aiah feels bothered with people who look unenthusiastic, so she spoke, “Looks like she doesn’t want to take it, why don’t you do it instead ‘Loi? Mukhang mas okay kapag ikaw.”

Jhoanna obviously heard it so she frowned and pulled her hands from Maloi who tried to snatch the phone from her, “Ako na,” Madiing saad niya at itinapat ang camera sa dalawang dalaga.

Wala silang nagawa at masasayang nag-pose sa harap ng camera. Behind it was Aiah gritting her teeth with the impression she’s getting from Jhoanna whom she barely knows. It’s not like she doesn’t like her but something with her attitude makes her want to step closer to her and challenge her with something.

She’s not annoyed but rather intrigued by her.

Mikha watched the entire scene unfold as she stood there beside Colet, waiting for Aiah to finish. She wasn’t buying anything from the people in front of her and just wants to sit in class with her headphones on so she walked away firstly. Leaving her friends behind. Hindi na iyon bago kay Colet at Aiah kung kaya’t nagpaalam na rin sila kela Maloi at Sheena.

When Aiah’s eyes landed on Jhoanna who doesn’t even give a damn about them and just went on to glance at the CR across as if she’s waiting for someone to get out, she decided not to bother giving her any word. She was about to step past her when her pants got caught at the back of Jhoanna’s chair.

Napalingon doon si Jhoanna at tiningala ang dalagang nagulat sa sumabit niyang pantalon. It’s her belt’s buckle, Aiah couldn’t get it off herself so Jhoanna had to help her. It was embarassing.

Mikha then stopped before she could even take a step outside of the cafeteria to look at her friends. There she found Aiah in that setup with Jhoanna. For some reason, it annoyed her sight. She formed a fist on both of her hands, obviously aware of why she had to suddenly feel bitter. But she won’t admit it, not even to herself.

“Is it okay to touch you?” Nakatingalang tanong ni Jhoanna sa dalagang ngayon ay namumula na sa hiya, sino ba namang ewan ang sasabit ang belt sa likod ng upuan? It was like anchoring her in place to get to speak to Jhoanna who made her flicker earlier.

That made Aiah froze in her place, because of how low Jhoanna’s voice is. And why the hell is she asking for permission? Is she that gentle and respectful? That she had to make sure Aiah was okay about it? Aiah could only nod and there she felt Jhoanna’s hand steadying her as she tried to free her belt’s buckle from the tip of the chair.

“Thank you,” Aiah whispered. Jhoanna just nodded and turned her back to reach for her iced coffee then continued sipping from it.

On the other hand, Stacey had seen it all, from Jhoanna touching another girl. And it’s Aiah, a gorgeous one. A hint of twitch in her chest hit her but she decided to just look away and went to take her seat, not bothering to look at anyone.

“What the hell was that, Ate Aiah?” Mikha couldn’t help but ask, trying not to sound bitter. She had to wait for Colet and Aiah at the door after witnessing the scene.

Colet shrugged her shoulders laughing, “Aiah and her clumsiness, or siguro sinadya niyang sumabit? Sinungitan kasi siya ni Jho e.”

Mikha and Aiah frowned and Colet raised both of her hands to her friends, “Joke lang!”

“Do you like her, Ate Aiah?” Mikha suddenly asked. She doesn’t know but she’s just asking, if she wouldn’t like her answer, then she might have need to do something about it. It’s her Ate Aiah for fuck’s sake, she’s protective of her.

“Who?”

“That girl with specs,”

Why the hell is Mikha asking such questions? Aiah thought about in her head, “We just literally met, I don’t even know her much. But I’ve seen her around with Stacey.”

“That wasn’t the question though,” Mikha sighed. Tahimik lamang na nakikinig si Colet sa usapan ng dalawa niyang kaibigan, observing something that feels like different than a usual conversation those two have.

“I don’t like her,”

And that was enough for Mikha to shut the conversation down. That’s what she needed to hear so they went ahead to their classrooms.

But I think I might want to see her again.

-

“Hello?”

“Hi, Jho,” Jhoanna squeezed her brows upon hearing Stacey’s voice. Nasa klase si Jhoanna ngayon at sa ibang number siya tumawag.

“I miss you,” She whispered, almost sounding nothing.

Jhoanna checked her wrist watch and saw that it’s already 8pm. 8:30pm ang tapos ng klase niya ngayon at kanina pa nakalabas si Stacey. And based on what she could hear, she’s at a bar and is already drunk that’s why she’s calling.

“Hey, are you done? Give me my phone,” Jhoanna could hear a voice on the other line, it’s a girl and it sounded familiar.

“Hey, nasa’n ka Staks? Who are you with?”

“I miss you so much, Jho,” Iyon lamang ang tanging sinasagot ni Stacey sa kaniya kung kaya’t napapikit siya sa frustration.

She always does this to me.

“Hey, are you Jho? Can you come pick her up? She’s really annoying.” Seems like the girl who owns the phone finally got it back from Stacey.

Looks like the girl is not buying Stacey’s antics and it got Jhoanna worried about what she might do to her. Jhoanna clenched her fist, “Don’t touch her,” She firmly said.

The voice from the other line chuckled as if she doesn’t like what Jhoanna just said, “You don’t get to say that from me,”

Jhoanna rushed to the entrance of the bar and immediately searched for the sight of Stacey. She found her on the right corner of the place sitting so wasted so Jhoanna took a step towards her when someone bumped right into her, stopping her from getting closer to Stacey.

Jhoanna got the woman just in time, wrapping her right arm around the woman’s waist. Causing her to grip on Jhoanna’s shoulders, “I’m sorry— oh,” Agad na imik ng babaeng nabangga ni Jhoanna.

“Ate Aiah?” Jhoanna called her. Aiah felt a bit conscious upon hearing her name on Jhoanna’s mouth. She knows me.

But before she could even utter any word, Jhoanna excused herself. She’s hurrying up for something and there she saw what it is she’s going for. Stacey.

“Hey, Staks gising ikaw, naririnig mo ba ‘ko?” Dahan dahan ang pagtapik ni Jhoanna sa babaeng nasa harapan niya ngayon. Yumuko siya at hinawakan ang magkabilang braso ni Stacey na ngayo’y nagmulat na.

“Finally, she can hear voices,” Jhoanna turned to her right side that she didn’t notice someone was sitting there. It was Mikha, crossing her legs and watching the two girls in front of her.

Jhoanna had already figured that it was Mikha’s number Stacey had used to call her and for some reason, she doesn’t like the aura of this Girl is giving. She looks tough, and boastful. She’s looking at Jhoanna with her siren eyes and a smug expression as she sip another shot of vodka.

“What did you to her?” Jhoanna walked up to Mikha and was ready to throw punches at the girl. Mikha felt the aura and didn’t back out to whatever is challenging Jhoanna for a fight.

There was nothing. Nothing that Mikha did to Stacey. She just found her here on the table as Mikha waits for Aiah to arrive. She thought she could talk to her since they kind of knew each other from school but then she started ranting about her; Jhoanna. Putting them here, in this situation.

But an urge of provoking Jhoanna and what she could probably do right now pushed Mikha to maybe twist some stories and make a little lie. She wants to know if she can really throw an uppercut or something.

“Dude, I swear she also enjoys it,” Mikha smirked when she saw Jhoanna with widened eyes. She could feel heavy breathing from her shoulders and that got her raising an eyebrow, thinking that what she said wasn’t enough to make her move so she spoke again, “Second base lang— fuck!”

She was thrown to the sofa when she felt the heat of Jhoanna’s punch to her jaw. And if it wasn’t enough, Jhoanna pulled her arms that made her leap off and dodged another punch coming. She got up quickly and pulled Jhoanna’s uniform collar with another smirk. Jhoanna’s eyes were dark and red, it annoys Mikha so much that she didn’t really expect this girl to punch her.

How dare she?

“Mikha! Stop it!”

“Jho!”

They could hear two girls pulling them apart and the others inside the bar watching the unexpected fight. Mikha felt Aiah’s hands in her arms pulling her from Jhoanna’s and Stacey doing the same.

Let me crash that girl’s glasses!

“What the hell happened here?!” Aiah shouted in between the two girls.

Jhoanna looked so mad she almost forgot that Stacey needed her because she’s drunk. Mikha got into her nerves and this is the first time that she punched someone, and it fucking hurt her knuckles. That was a really strong punch she did, tumilapon ba naman si Mikha.

Nang mapagtanto ni Jhoanna na magkasama si Aiah at Mikha ay tinuro niya itong dalawa, “You keep your girlfriend on a leash, masyadong mayabang!” Jhoanna shouted.

“Stacey, let’s fucking go.” Jhoanna pulled Stacey out of that goddamn place and they finally got inside the car.

“What were you thinking drinking alone?!” Jhoanna shouted at Stacey. She couldn’t help it anymore, she just punched someone! And it’s fucking someone from school! Dang it!

“Staks! You don’t get to do this to me, for fuck’s sake!” Jhoanna finally let out a cry, still looking at the drunk girl, “You don’t get to... you don’t get to do this to me.. If you just want me back, say it. Say it without all of these mess!”

“J-jho.. I’m sorry,” Stacey held Jhoanna’s arm, “I’m sorry I don’t know what to do anymore, nami-miss na kasi kita e.”

-

“Anong ginagawa niyo rito? Ate Aiah?” Sheena asked the three girls in front of their classroom. Mikha, Aiah, and Colet is standing in their doorway. Sobrang layo ng building nila rito kung kaya’t nagtataka siya kung anong kailangan nila.

“Hi, Shee. Is Jho here?” Tanong ni Aiah na sumisilip pa sa loob ng classroom nila.

Kaklase ni Sheena si Jhoanna sa subject na Art Appreciation and ngayon iyon kung kaya’t sakto sila dahil first sub nila ito. Sheena looked over Jhoanna who was now writing something on her yellow pad, fixing her falling specs. Aiah saw it too and she couldn’t help but take a moment to look at her before she lifted her head up when Sheena called her. Aiah straightened her back and called Mikha who was now kicking the air.

“What?” Mikha uttered, annoyed that she had to do this.

“Ano ‘yon, Shee?” Tanong ni Jhoanna nang makalapit siya. Agad na nagbago ang expression ni Jhoanna nang makita kung sino ang mga kaharap niya ngayon. She looks surprised upon seeing Aiah and her two friends.

“Hello, Jho.” Aiah started off, Jhoanna gave her a small smile. She still remembered what happened last night. And it’s super obvious from Mikha’s bruised chin. Jhoanna looked away from Mikha, she really don’t know if she should apologize or what to her.

Aiah nudged Mikha who still haven’t said anything since they got here. Mikha groaned and looked at Aiah to see if she really have to do this, because of course this is ridiculous!

“A-ano ba ‘yon?” Nagtatakang tanong ni Jhoanna dahil nagsisikuhan lamang ang mga dalaga sa harap niya e.

Mikha sighed as Aiah waited for her to say something. She looked really conflicted, looking straight into Jhoanna’s eyes. She still feels like punching her back but of course, she won’t do it. That is not what she came here for.

“About last night,” Mikha spoke to her but stopped and looked at Aiah as if she has the words Mikha needed. Aiah looked at her with an enthusiastic face and the others could only wait for what’s next.

“Sorry,” Mikha breathed out, “Aw! Okay okay!” Mikha groaned because Aiah had pinched her side. Mikha wasn’t even looking at Jhoanna when she said that! Kailangan niyang ulitin iyon!

Mikha groaned while putting her hands in her pocket, looking straight into Jhoanna’s eyes that is still confused, “I came here to apologize. I did nothing to Stacey, so I’m sorry for saying those. I only did it because I wanted to see if you know how to punch— what are you laughing about Ate Colet?!”

Agad na napatakad si Mikha dahil sa nagpipigil na tawa ni Colet, “Oh ayan na raw ‘yung gusto mong makita, nasa mukha mo haha!”

“Ha ha ha,” Mikha laughed sarcastically.

“Stop it you two,” Saway ni Aiah at nanatili ang tingin kay Jhoanna. She wanted to see if she would accept her friend’s apology because of what happened last night. Nakwento lahat ni Mikha dahil pinilit niya ito. Even though she knew Mikha better, she had to believe Jhoanna wouldn’t just punch her because she feels like doing it.

Kaya nang malaman niya na ginawa lamang iyon ni Mikha para pikonin si Jhoanna lalo, hindi niya ito hinayaang hindi humingi ng tawad. Because she can remember the look on Jhoanna’s face, it was full of frustration. Frustration from what she just did to Mikha, she knew Jhoanna was also hurt from doing it.

“Sorry rin, dahil sinuntok kita.”

Nang marinig iyon ni Sheena sa likuran ay agad siyang napatakip ng bunganga at hinarap si Jhoanna nang nagugulat, “Sinuntok mo si Mikha?!”

Their other classmates had heard it and so they looked at their direction. Agad silang lumabas ng corridor dahil sa biglang sigaw ni Sheena. Colet laughed her heart out because Mikha looks red from embarrassment. Sinilip pa ni Sheena ang mukha niya na nakapagpa-urong sa kaniya  lalo. She doesn’t like being touched by someone, please.

“Is this enough? Can we go now?” Naiiinis na imik ni Mikha dahil tingin niya ay nagawa niya na ang dapat na gawin niya. Nakapag-sorry na siya, so they should go!

Aiah pursed her lips and looked at Jhoanna. There really is nothing they can talk about but she feels like she does. What is this even? Aiah sighed internally, mukhang nag-aantay na lang din naman si Jhoanna na umalis sila kung kaya’t dahan dahang tumango si Aiah at ngumiti.

“We deeply apologize for last night’s event, I hope you and Stacey are okay.”

-

“Tangina sabi na e, on na naman kayo uli ni Staku! Ah ewan ko na sa inyong dalawa! Tingnan mo at nanuntok ka pa talaga dahil sa kaniya! Adik ka ba?!” Singhal ni Sheena kay Jhoanna. Pumasok na sila ngayon sa classroom matapos silang puntahan ng tatlo dito para  humingi ng sorry.

Tama si Sheena, Jhoanna and Stacey got back together last night. Of course, one ‘I miss you, Jho’ lamang talaga ni Stacey sa kaniya ay umiikot na uli ang mundo niya rito. Hindi niya rin alam, part of her feels like this is the right thing to do after all. Get back with her, and be scared that they might break each other again.

Tanga ba ako?

“I don’t know, but I just always find my way back to her..”

“Tanga ka lang kamo!”

Jhoanna waited outside Stacey’s classroom with her favorite drink and snacks, piattos and yakult. Nang makalabas siya ay sinalubong siya ng mahigpit na yakap ng dalaga. Jhoanna smiled and hugged her back.

“Thank you, Jho.” Stacey said as they walk through, clinging her arms on Jhoanna’s.

“Nood tayo sa condo ko? After class,” Jhoanna invited.

Stacey didn’t think twice and even scrunched her nose to Jhoanna, “Okay!” Giving her the gummy smile that made Jhoanna smile back.

“Sweet!” Napalingon sila sa likuran nila nang marinig nila ang komento ni Colet na ngayon ay nakangisi sa kanilang harap.

She’s not alone, kasama niya si Aiah. They probably saw everything from Jhoanna waiting for Stacey dahil mukhang kanina pa nila pinapanood ang dalawa. They greeted each other and Stacey... felt a bit off with Aiah. She could still remember the cafeteria scene, she didn’t like it one bit and now that they’re back together, she can finally admit it.

Aiah grabbed Colet's shirt and dragged her away. She was in no mood to watch sugary-sweet couples on her way, and that included Jhoanna and Stacey. Wala namang kaso sa kaniya kung maglampungan ang dalawa sa hallway, ‘wag lang sa harap niya. Kadiri.

“Aray ko! Selos much?” Natatawang bulong ni Colet.

Agad na kumunot ang noo ni Aiah sa kaniyang kaibigan, “The fuck? I don’t even know those two personally!”

Colet smirked and just shrugged, “Okay,” not convinced with her friend’s answer.

Destiny is really funny with timing you know? Days and days has been passing, and Aiah was just there every single moment witnessing Jhoanna and Stacey together. It was annoying on her side. And no, not because she’s bothered or whatever! It’s because of the little information she knew about those two. When she accidentally heard them arguing on the stairs.

“I want a breakup,” Stacey blurted out. That made Aiah stop from taking another step and looked up her way. There she saw Stacey towering over Jhoanna, as they continue their LQ on the stairs. Sa building pa talaga nila Aiah?

“Staks, ano ganyan na naman? Konting away, lang oh! Bakit laging break?!”

“You should ask yourself why!” Then Stacey stepped down, moving past her girlfriend. Aiah had to act fast and make it look like she just got on the stairs. So, when Stacey met her eyes, she covered her expression with ignorance.

Jhoanna was nowhere to be seen after a second and so Aiah didn’t even bother looking after her. It’s not her business to know how she feels.

That saga continues to happen whenever a week, or a day passes. Mag-aaway sila sa parteng iyon ng hagdan at palagi silang naaabutan ni Aiah. It was such an inconvenience on her part because they keep coming back on each other like a fight never happened. 

And then looking at them today, all happy and hearts. Aiah is so confused, how can they get back together after those fights? Mukhang si Aiah ang napapagod sa kaguluhan nilang dalawa.

“Alright Mom, I’m with Kuya now,” Aiah took her phone down and pushed the button of the elevator. Nasa resort siya ngayon, visiting her Kuya that is here because her Mommy told her to do so. Kakatapos lamang ng preliminary examinations nila and this is actually a nice vacation after she burned a lot of hair from her eyebrows just to ace all of her subjects. 

"Aiah, I should go okay, don't tell Mom. Please?" Her older brother pleaded after he walked her in front of their supposed suite together. Aalis ang kuya niya ngayon at hindi iyon dapat malaman ng parents niya. He's going to see her pregnant girlfriend, and he's not allowed to be a father yet. There are still so many matters in the so-called business of their family that he should focus on, kaka-graduate niya lang, hindi pwedeng magka-pamilya siya agad. 

"Okay, go tell your girlfriend I said Hi." Aiah smiled at his brother's hopeful eyes. He nodded and hugged her tightly before leaving. 

It's okay to spend your three days’ vacation alone here, right? 

That's what Aiah thought as she dozes off her sleep, readying herself for tomorrow. She plans on surfing for a whole day and take a night jog around the shore for the night. 

Two days later and she’s now munching her homemade lumpiang shanghai while scrolling through tiktok, killing time. Pauwi na siya bukas and she doesn’t know what else to do for her last night here. She sighed and took some cute selfies with her white robe and shanghai.

There was a small cocktail place near the shore — maybe it’s a good spot to spend the night until midnight, grab some drinks, and have fun! Maybe she could even meet some adorable people there. Wala pa kasi talaga siyang nakikilala dito sa resort, and she’s going home soon. It wouldn’t be bad to at least open her mouth and chat with a guy or a girl, right?

“Jhoanna?” Iyon ang hindi niya inaasahan.

Jhoanna Robles sat on the counter table, tracing her index finger around the rim of her glass. She looks lost, but actually gorgeous on her white polo and denim shorts. Nakalugay ang kaniyang itim na buhok, binagayan pa ng itim niyang salamin na palaging nags-stand out sa kaniya. It was like everything is pretty with her but with glasses on? Hear me out.

Why do I feel like I’m scanning her pretty existence?

Napalingon si Jhoanna nang marinig niya ang kaniyang pangalan. There she saw Aiah, standing just a few steps away from her side. Naka-messy bun siya, and wow, she’s matching Jhoanna’s fit. White polo too? But hers is tied around her slim waist. Exposing her curves that got Jhoanna looking down for a second.

“Hi, Ate Aiah. Sinabi ko bang mag-white polo ka rin?” Nakangiting bati ni Jhoanna. Aiah chuckled at what the younger girl said.

“Don’t worry, I’m wearing it sexier.” Aiah leaned her elbow on the counter table after settling herself beside Jhoanna. She stared at the girl’s face, and she’s already a bit drowsy, “You’re almost drunk, why the hell are you here? And where’s Stacey?”

Jhoanna’s smile slowly faded upon hearing Stacey’s name. Tumungo siya at umangat ding muli para ngumiti nang mapait, “Ang dami mo agad tanong,” Jhoanna chuckled.

“Okay, first off—yes, yours is sexier,” Jhoanna said casually, locking eyes with Aiah before downing a shot of vodka. It was meant as a playful reply to Aiah’s witty remark, but it still made Aiah shift in her seat and clear her throat.

“Second, I am not drunk. Tipsy siguro,” Inayos niya ang kaniyang salamin at tumingin sa malayo, “And I’m here because Stacey ran out of my car, breaking up with me. Napadpad ako rito sa beach resort na ito, which is actually a nice place.”

Aiah knew exactly how her night is going to end. And it’s not with a random guy or girl. But with this woman with black thick framed glasses she always notices around the campus for a while now. Not because she’s pretty with it which is already true but because of how she always fix it, wiping her eyes underneath, after getting broken from Stacey who always ran past her. It was the way her shoulders were down and the hair she’s brushing backwards, thinking that maybe it could lessen the loser that she is for letting Stacey hurt her every fucking time.

Aiah had noticed it all before, and she wasn’t about to let it happen again—not when she could see the loneliness in Jhoanna’s eyes, the wonder, the innocence of believing that Stacey was part of her happiness when she was mostly her misery.

“Why can’t you just stop coming back to her, Jhoanna?”

Jhoanna looked at her, “I love her,”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Ate Aiah it’s alright, hindi mo na ako kailangang kausapin about Stacey. I already heard enough from Sheena,” She brushed her hair backwards again, as if that thing helps her from stopping a tear to fall from her pretty eyes.

“I’m amazed of how you could easily say you love Stacey,” Aiah spoke again, not minding what just Jhoanna said to her.

Jhoanna got confused at Aiah’s words, “Anong ibig mong sabihin? Am I not showing how much I love her? Isn’t it obvious why I keep coming back to her?”

Aiah for the nth time sighed, “Again, that’s bullshit.”

Jhoanna couldn’t pick up her words and it’s starting to annoy her. Parang iniinsulto niya na si Jhoanna, ano bang alam niya? She doesn’t know anything about love then!

“I think it’s better if we part ways now, Ate Aiah. Your words are just ringing on my ears now. Pati ba naman ikaw? I thought you’re nice.” Jhoanna’s lips quivered from the surging emotions.

She had a rough night with Stacey, she wants to end it at least nicely here at the beach resort. And she thought Aiah could help kaya hinayaan niya itong tabihan siya. But she didn’t, she’s just making it worse.

“There you are again, almost crying.” Aiah whispered softly, “I’m sorry for my words,”

Aiah unconsciously raised her hand to fix Jhoanna’s specs on her nose. Jhoanna was surprised by the sudden move the other girl did that she had to pull herself back a bit. She stared at Aiah who has this soft expression that she usually has, it was the first thing Jhoanna sees whenever they’d have a small interaction around the school. Her soft eyes that linger on Jhoanna’s soul. Like it speaks a thousand gentle narrations of comfort that Jhoanna would like to feel.

Aiah brushed some strands of hair on Jhoanna’s cheeks. Aiah doesn’t know why she feels mad and hurt with Jhoanna’s situation. They barely know each other really. They’re not friends, they just smile and acknowledge each other when they lock eyes. But that’s not the case when she has the chance to hear their fights, the harshness of her relationship with Stacey, that even Aiah feels anxious whenever she would see the heavy atmosphere between those two.

Jhoanna wasn’t even showing her side that is breaking down, but Aiah feels too much—enough by the way she sees through her eyes. It was enough for Aiah to clutch her own chest; she looked away and licked her lips. Why is she even doing this? Nangingialam na ba siya nito? But she wants to do something, she wants Stacey to stop hurting this girl. She needs to stop for Aiah’s sake! Because Jhoanna is making Aiah feel terrible, she couldn’t get her out of her system when her eyes always look this shiny and glittery.

“I can’t let her hurt you like this anymore,” Matigas na saad ni Aiah. Jhoanna looked at her with confusion because of how firm that sounded.

Anong sinasabi ni Ate Aiah? Nahihibang na ba siya?

“Date me,” Aiah stopped Jhoanna from taking another sip of her vodka, she’s getting drunk now. Hindi na tipsy.

Jhoanna laughed at the other girl’s serious face. Aiah felt a bit taken a back, how could she laugh!? There are so many people who would die for Aiah to say this to them! And she’s giving it to Jhoanna freely!

“As far as I know, wala ka pang naiinom na kahit ano, Ate Aiah. Why are you saying nonsense?”

Jhoanna was right. This is nonsense! Why would she even care about dating Jhoanna right? As if that would help the girl’s situation.

I don’t know why I said that!

Mukhang bagsak na nga talaga si Jhoanna dahil umubob na siya sa counter table. Aiah sighed and just stared at the wasted woman in front of her.

“Stacey would choke in jealousy if I started dating someone else, ano pa kung ikaw? You’re too gorgeous, she wouldn’t be able to take it.” Jhoanna tilted her head, making her face all messy as her hair covers half of it. She smiled and pinched Aiah’s cheeks that got Aiah all surprised, “Tama nga sila, para kang si Mama Mary.”

Aiah has heard that many times. Being called she look like Mama Mary? She doesn’t know what to feel so hinahayaan niya lang. Everyone says that because they see Aiah as a kind woman and along with her angelic face? She was indeed a Mama Mary. For Aiah, being kind has never been hard for her, just be true to others and make them feel like they belong.

But hearing it from Jhoanna stirs something inside her. It was an unusual feeling. But for the very first time, she was glad that she’s been entitled for that impression. So Jhoanna could say it in front of her. Aiah felt giddy.

“Then fake dating me,” Hindi pa pala tapos si Aiah doon kung kaya’t napamulat ng mga mata si Jhoanna at tiningala siya, “Make Stacey jealous of me, I don’t care.”

“H-ha?”

“You said she wouldn’t be able to take it if it was me you’re dating right? Then let’s do it. She needs to see that you’re not tied on her leash to be treated like this,” Aiah looked drop dead serious that Jhoanna had to got up and stare at her in confusion, “Hindi ka niya aso.”

“A-aso?”

“Yes, hindi ka niya aso na kapag may binato siyang buto sa malayo ay hahabulin mo iyon at babalikan mo siya dala ang buto na hinagis niya,” Aiah explained.

Ano raw? Ani ni Jhoanna sa nahihilo niyang utak.

Aiah on the other hand seemed confused too about what she just said but she shrugged it off, “Nevermind! Just agree with me, Jho!”

“Agree? Saan?!”

“Fake dating me!”

Ate Aiah, siraulo ka na.

-

Jhoanna took a full sip on her Spanish latte as she walks through the cafeteria where Sheena is. Nauna na siya roon kung kaya’t nang matanaw niya ang babae na nakaupo na sa kanilang usual table ay tumungo na siya sa direksyon. She could feel her head aching in pain because of the drinks she had to consume last night.

“Ang tagal! Palagi na lang kasing si kape e!” Reklamo ni Sheena sa kaniya. Palagi kasing bumibili si Jhoanna ng iced coffee malapit sa labas ng kanilang university bago sila makakain.

“Coffee is life, but iced coffee is....” Hindi alam ni Jhoanna kung paano niya itutuloy ang susunod na word pagkaupo niya. Sheena was waiting too, “Iced coffee is.. cold.”

Napasinghal at napairap si Sheena sa kaniyang kaibigan, “Siraulo,” Bulong niya at nagsimula na siyang akitin ni Shee na um-order na ng kanilang lunch.

Nagpigil ng tawa si Jhoanna at bago pa sila makatayo sa kanilang upuan ay sinalubong sila ni Maloi, kasama si Stacey. Agad na nawala ang mga ngiti ni Jhoanna nang makita ang dalaga na ganoon din ang reaksyon. They had a fight last night and they’re no longer on, as expected.

“Hi! Sasabay kami ni Staku sa inyo kasi may mainit init akong Chika about sa mga accountancy students! Lalo na roon sa president ng JPIA nila!” Maloi said.

It didn’t really bother Jhoanna since the four of them has become friends after all. Kahit na sabihing may relasyon ang dalawa sa kanila. It wasn’t really a hindrance dahil si Sheena at Maloi ay sanay na sa setup ni Jhoanna at Stacey. Kapag ganitong hindi sila okay or break daw, hindi nila pinapakealaman kasi magbabalikan lang din daw sila e! Edi tuloy ang barkada! Mainit o malamig!

Iyon ang nasa isip nila.

“What the...”

Surprise is not even the word to express the reactions of the girls when Aiah walked up to them. It wasn’t just that. It was how Aiah hugged Jhoanna like an excited girlfriend she is and gave Jhoanna a peck on her cheeks. Jhoanna unconsciously held the girl’s waist for support because she was clinging to her too much that they could lost balance!

“A-ate Aiah..” Bulong ni Jhoanna. Tinignan niya ang kaniyang mga kaibigan na ngayon ay nakapanood lamang sa kanila. Her eyes unwillingly locked on Stacey who was as surprised and a hint of bloodshot can be seen from her gaze.

“Hi! Let’s eat together? I missed you,” Aiah’s soft voice got Jhoanna staring at her. Confusion mixed with ideas from last night is what Jhoanna looks like right now.

“Can I take Jho with me? Is it okay Shee?” Aiah smiled sweetly at the girls, including Stacey.

Just what the fuck is happening? Jhoanna could only ask in her head.

Nakatangang tumango si Sheena at Maloi kay Aiah na ngayon ay hinila na si Jhoanna palayo sa kanila. This is nonsense! Why is Aiah doing this?! Hindi niya manlang nakita nang kumpleto ang reaksyon ni Stacey dahil puno ng pagtataka ang utak niya kay Aiah.

“A-ate Aiah what the hell was that?!” Jhoanna pulled her arms from Aiah as soon as they got out of the cafeteria.

“Fake dating,” Aiah uttered casually, “Let’s see if Stacey can take you dating me.”

Halo halong emosyon ang nararamdaman ni Jhoanna ngayon. Hindi niya alam na seryoso pala ang dalaga sa sinasabi niya kagabi! And now they’re here and she doesn’t even know what to do!

“H-hindi ako uma-agree sa pakana mo Ate Aiah! This is insane! And it doesn’t even look real!”

Aiah chuckled under her breath, “Kaya nga e, I was a good actress pa naman. Come on Jho, this is fun! We need to see if Stacey can withstand the thought of you dating someone else.”

“No! Not with you, Ate Aiah,” Iling ni Jhoanna. Aiah raised an eyebrow at the other girl’s statement then she took a step forward causing Jhoanna to move back. Jhoanna felt the wall behind her and Aiah’s face inched closer to her.

“Why? Afraid the fake dating gets real eventually?” Aiah whispered, staring straight into Jhoanna’s eyes through her glasses.

Jhoanna gulped at the distance. Why the hell is Aiah like this? This is now the closest they’ve ever been and she’s not expecting any of this! She was just supposed to wait for the time Stacey had calmed down and take her back into her life as that is what usually happens!

“N-no.. you’re just impossible to date.” Jhoanna hardly let out those words. Totoo naman e, who would believe that Aiah is dating Jhoanna? She’s too out of her league and gosh! Everyone knows the relationship she have with Stacey! It can’t just transition to something like this at talagang sa isa pang Magandang nilalang ng campus na ito?!

Come on, everyone was mad enough at Jhoanna for dating Stacey, one of the models and it girls in the campus. In short, Stacey’s admirers have lost their chance because of Jhoanna! Tapos ngayon, si Aiah naman? Baka maabangan na siya ng mga students sa gate sa labas after class!

“Impossible to date? What am I a saint?”

“Si Mama Mary ka nga e,”

Aiah bit her lower lip, “Well then you better not reject me, or else you will be sinned.”

“Nahihibang ka na ba talaga Aiah?” Jhoanna asked, they don’t know how long they can withstand being too close to each other while they talk right now but they actually do, “Paano si Mikha? Isn’t she your girlfriend or something?”

“Mikha? She’s not? She’s my best friend,” Aiah answered, “Why the hell would I ask you for this if I’m dating someone else? I’m not a cheater.”

“I feel like I am,” Jhoanna honestly replied. Yes, wala na sila ni Stacey but a part of her feels like betraying her if she agreed to this. She can’t.

“Break na kayo, Jho, no one is cheating here and the point of this is to teach her a lesson,” Aiah felt conscious at how Jhoanna stares at her so she finally took a step back to provide them an inch of space. She cleared her throat before speaking again, “What I meant is, you will fake date me, make her jealous until she couldn’t take it anymore and chase you, then get back with her. Make her feel like she could lose you anytime soon if she ever tried to break up with you again.”

“So basically you just want Stacey to feel more possessive of me?”

“No, I want Stacey to feel scared of losing you.” Aiah crossed her arms.

Jhoanna sighed, getting convinced with Aiah’s point here. But she still feels conflicted so she couldn’t agree with her. Jhoanna brushed some strands of her hair back and took a heavy blow of air.

“This is insane, Ate Aiah.”

“Drop the Ate. You gotta stop calling me with that.”

And that’s where Jhoanna knew — everything would change, here and soon.

-

“Bar tayo, Girls!” Maloi squealed as they walked out of the gate of the school. Magkakasama na naman silang apat dahil pareparehas silang tapos na ang klase.

“I can’t,” Napalingon ang lahat kay Jhoanna, “I-I have plans..”

“With Ate Aiah?” Sheena asked.

After the scene in the cafeteria, hindi nila tinantanan ng samutsaring mga tanong si Jhoanna. She had to lie and make up some stories of how Aiah and her started dating. They were skeptical, of course. Kahit si Jhoanna ay hindi maniniwala sa sarili niyang mga dahilan! She told them Aiah and her felt the electric sensation noong nagkita sila sa beach resort and so they hit it. Hindi na nila pinatagal. It was so cringe on her side to tell, dang it.

Hindi alam ni Jhoanna kung naniwala ba sila but they didn’t ask any further questions. It was like they’re okay with her dating someone but Stacey.

“Let her be with her girlfriend, tara na.” Stacey then walked away quickly. Jhoanna watch her as she fade away from their sight.

“Grabe totoo na talaga? Hindi na si Stacey?” Humalukipkip si Maloi at hindi makapaniwalang umiling.

Does Stacey believe that Jhoanna would actually date someone else right after their breakup? Why does she reacts like it was something Jhoanna would really do? Aiah wasn’t right on this one. Hindi yata nagseselos si Stacey, she was ignoring her instead. And that’s making it worse for her to get back with Jhoanna.

“At si Mama Mary pa talaga?” Maloi added before finally following Stacey who was now waiting in her car.

“Walang talab kay Staku kahit sino pa ‘yan, panigurado iniisip niya babalik at babalik ka rin sa kaniya kahit anong laro pa ‘yang ginagawa mo ngayon, Ate Jho.” Sheena suddenly spoke on her side, she looked serious about what she’s saying, “I know you, you better stop whatever you’re trying to do. You wouldn’t be able to take it yourself if this goes wrong.”

“What do you mean?”

“You might fall in your own trap and hurt a lot of people instead, Ate Jho.”

Before Jhoanna could even ask more, Sheena walked out of her sight too. Naiwan siya roon na tulala sa mga sinabi ni Sheena. Hindi niya maintindihan ang ibig niyang sabihin. Sinong masasaktan? At ano bang ginagawa ko? Alam ba niya na these are all just fake? Iyon ba ang tinutukoy niya?

“Okay first off, where is your place? Kailangan alam ko kung saan kita pupuntahan Jhoanna,” Aiah faced her, then took another bite of her French fries. Nasa fast food restaurant sila ngayon at nagsisimula nang mag-usap tungkol sa kung ano man ang binabalak nila.

Jhoanna sighed. Wala pa pero pakiramdam niya ay isang malaking joke ang pagf-fake date niya kay Aiah. Ano ba kasi talagang pumasok sa kukote niya at pumayag siya sa kahibangan na ito?

“Hey? Earth to you?” Aiah called Jhoanna who was now spacing out.

“Ayaw ko na ituloy ‘to,” Jhoanna was about to stand up when Aiah held her arms firmly, “Ate Aiah this is really ridiculous!”

Aiah looked up to Jhoanna who was ready to leave if it wasn’t for her hold. She needs to understand that they’ve already done it to the public! Aiah even kissed her on her cheeks! They can’t back out now!

“I can’t let you, Jho! Sit down and listen to me!”

Jhoanna couldn’t cause a scene here so she followed. Bumuntong hininga siya at tinignan ang katapat niyang babae na ngayon ay kumuha na naman ng fries. She ate it then took a sip from her drinks.

Nagagawa niya pa yatang mag-enjoy sa fries at soda niya? Habang si Jhoanna ay parang dinadaanan ng bagyo ang itsura ngayon.

“Okay, Jhoanna you went with me here now so that means you already agreed. Hindi ka pwedeng mag-back out na! That’s not fair!” Aiah exclaimed, “I’m telling you, Stacey needs to see your worth. And that is what we’re going to show her.”

“But this game is a risk! Everyone would think we’re actually dating!”

“Bakit ba parang ayaw mo?”

“Because you’re Aiah!”

“Yea? I’m Aiah Arceta!”

Jhoanna face palmed. Nasa’n ba si Mama Mary rito?! Bakit parang sobrang kulit naman ng tinutukoy nilang Mama Mary sa itsura at bait?!

“Alam ba ‘to nila Mikha?” Jhoanna asked her, “Me and your friend had a beef, what more if she found out that I’m dating you? She might actually punch me back this time.”

“Ako susuntok sa kaniya,” Aiah huffed as if she’s ready to do what she just said. Jhoanna couldn’t believe the woman in front of her, she’s unbelievable.

“Why do you have so much in your head Jho? Just tell me your place! It’s not like I’ll actually go to you!”

“Why do you want to help me?”

Aiah stopped munching when Jhoanna asked that question. I don’t know too, bakit nga ba?

“I just feel like this is the right thing to do.” Sagot niya.

“How sure are you that this is going to work? That Stacey would actually run back to me and tell me that she won’t break up with me anymore?” Seryosong tanong ni Jhoanna. She wants to know why Aiah is so eager to do this. Wala naman siyang mapapala e, so what does she wants?

“I’m sure...” She leaned both of her arms on the table and smirked, “Because I’m pretty.”

Tabang lord, may saltik yata si Ate Aiah.

“What?! You’re kidding right?!” Colet covered her mouth with both of her hands as she stared at the two girls in front of her, telling her that they’re dating.

“Aiah! Ang bilis mo naman dumamoves kay Jhoan— Aray!” Agad na dumaing si Colet ng sipain siya ni Aiah sa tuhod. Pinandilatan niya ngayon ang kaibigan dahil kung ano-anong kalokohan ang lumalabas sa bibig niya ngayon.

“Congrats, happy for you both,” Mikha said with a calm smile to the two girls. She looked nonchalant about the news, but it was all just a façade. Her chest felt like it was tearing apart with every passing second since she heard the word dating.

Jhoanna stared at Mikha too long that she noticed a hint of sadness. It got Jhoanna wondering if she really was okay with this or not. But when she felt Aiah’s hand on her arms, her attention caught up to the situation she smiled and went to start their acting.

“I promise to take care of Aiah, your friend is in good hands,” Jhoanna sincerely said, Mikha nodded and bid them goodbye, saying that she left her headphones in class. Si Colet naman ay ngumisi at nagpaalam na rin para mabigyan sila ng alone time ni Aiah.

“In good hands? Nag-sanitize ka ba?” Bulong ni Aiah at tinignan ang mga palad ni Jhoanna.

Jhoanna stared at Aiah who’s holding both of Jhoanna’s wrist to actually check her hands. She couldn’t help but let out of soft chuckle at the girl’s wittiness. Jhoanna pulled her hands away and that caused Aiah to step closer to her because she was still holding Jhoanna’s wrist.

Jhoanna stared at Aiah’s close face and smiled. She held Aiah’s hands and squeezed it, “In good hands ka talaga Ate Aiah, ako ang hindi.”

Aiah instantly frowned, “Sinasabi mo bang delikado ka sa ‘kin?”

Jhoanna shrugged, still holding Aiah’s hands, “Oo, baliw ka kasi e.”

Jhoanna and Aiah exchanged laughter, unaware that a pair of eyes were watching them from a far. Stacey held her books tightly, she’s had enough of the scene.

“Saya niya ‘no? Ikaw kaya?” Umigtad si Stacey nang biglang bumulong si Maloi sa kaniyang likuran. Kumunot ang kaniyang noo sa sinabi ng kaibigan at umirap, “Sus, unbothered ‘yarn?”

“Jhoanna’s just playing around to make me jealous, it’s not even working.” Stacey coldly said, tinalikuran niya na ang dalawang babae sa malayo na ngayo’y nagtatawanan pa rin. Ganoon din si Maloi, nagsimula na siyang maglakad palayo.

“Careful Staks, we both know she deserves better.” Maloi stated, Stacey ignored her and went to her classroom. She doesn’t give a damn if Jhoanna does. That’s a lie.

Jhoanna ran to caught up with Stacey who was now walking alone in the parking lot. Hindi niya pa ito nakakausap ever since they broke up and she at least wants to know how she was doing.

Stacey was taken aback when she felt a hand on her shoulder, gently pulling her to face the person. It was Jhoanna—and her heart immediately sank into a deep feeling she couldn’t quite name.

“Stacey,” Jhoanna called. She tried to read through her eyes, but it was too strong, she couldn’t see anything but an empty stare. It hurts Jhoanna, wala na ba talagang pake si Staku sa kaniya?

“Bakit? Tapos ka na bang makipaglandian kay Ate Aiah?”

Jhoanna didn’t know what to say, she just wants to talk to her but not like this. She tried to open her mouth to say something but there was no words coming out. Stacey smirked and pushed her slightly, “You’re a fucking loser,”

“You think pulling this move will change anything between us? Really? Are you that desperate for me, Jhoanna?” Jhoanna felt Stacey’s words cut through her like knives. The madness in Stacey’s eyes made her tremble with fear. Something about that insult — the way Stacey looked at her, as if ready to hurt her — revealed a realization Jhoanna could no longer ignore.

Stacey will always be her misery.

“I can’t believe I went here to reach for you, such a wrong move,” Jhoanna shook her head, tears already forming in her eyes and before it could even stream down, she ran out of there.

“Jho! What the hell happened to you?” Hindi na mapigil ang pag-iyak ni Jhoanna. She didn’t even know where she was until she bumped into Aiah, who was already holding her shoulders, trembling

“Shush, it’s okay,” Aiah hugged her tightly, letting Jhoanna cry endlessly on her shoulder.

“You don’t deserve any of this.”

-

It’s foundation day. Jhoanna sipped on her iced coffee as she fix the flower vase placed on the small table outside of their booth. Sobrang init ngayong araw, buti na lang may malamig na kape siyang iniinom ngayon! What a life saver!

“Diyan ka lang Shee, akitin mo mga freshies sa booth natin,” Jhoanna told Sheena as she jog around the campus that is full of students gathering around. There are different booths per department and the freshmen are their target audience. Sila ang boboto kung anong booth ang pinakamaganda. May ibubuga naman ‘yung kela Jhoanna dahil isa siya sa tumulong mag-design niyon.

There she found Aiah sitting and flapping her hand in front of her face. Naiinitan siya, agad na tumakbo si Jhoanna pa-cafeteria upang bumili ng malamig na water bottle at itinakbo ang sarili sa booth nila Aiah. She was busy talking to some people but turned to see Jhoanna who was now beside her, all smiley.

“Hi,” Jhoanna handed her the water bottle she bought for her, “You need to stay hydrated.”

Aiah looked at her before taking the water bottle. Her whole body froze when she felt Jhoanna’s hands wiping some beads of sweat on Aiah’s chin.

Aiah could feel something tickling inside her but she chose to ignore it. Jhoanna’s just doing this for the fake dating thing, baka nandito lang si Stacey sa paligid kaya niya ito ginagawa. Aiah made a smile and mouthed Jhoanna a ‘Thank you’.

“No, Thank you for helping me out last night,” Jhoanna said, “Pasensya na you have to see me breaking down.”

Jhoanna was talking about last night’s event where she caught her crying outside of the school area. Pauwi na noon si Aiah at laking gulat niya nang makita si Jhoanna na parang wala sa sariling naglalakad. Of course, she had to approach her and that’s where she knew what had happened. Sinaktan na naman siya ni Stacey.

“Excuse me love birds, pero may mga freshies na gustong tumingin sa booth! Hindi sa inyo!” Colet shouted behind them. Agad namang bumalik sa reyalidad ang dalawa, they moved aside to give the students some space.

“Una na ako,” Jhoanna pointed out and before Aiah could even nod, Jhoanna gave her a light hug. She felt her hands caressing her hair and it made her close her eyes for a moment. It was so gentle, it lingers on Aiah’s sensation.

Aiah didn’t notice that she was gripping the water bottle too tight until the coldness of it wrapped her palms. Gosh, Jhoanna is distracting her! But then, she was right — Jhoanna was doing it for a show. Because there, above the second floor, she saw Stacey watching them from afar. Nang makitang umalis na si Jhoanna ay siya ring pagtalikod ni Stacey na tila ba tapos na ang palabas. Nakita na niya.

“Lunch tayo, Girls!” Maloi invited. Kasama niya as usual si Stacey na ngayon ay busy sa kaniyang phone. Jhoanna checked her phone too, wondering if Aiah would invite her instead. Hindi niya kaya na makasama si Stacey ngayon. She could still hear her words, and it’s not good for her day, it could get ruined.

“Tara tara! Nakakapagod kumausap ng freshmen! Para silang mga kinder e!” Sheena sighed, she looked at Jhoanna who was still sitting on the monoblock chair, “Kakain tayo! Hindi ka sasama?”

Jhoanna looked at the girls in front of her. Nahagip ng mata niya si Staku na walang emosyong nakatingin sa kaniya ngayon. She shook her head, “W-wala pa akong gana.”

“Tss,” Stacey rolled her eyes and started walking away.

“Sure ka ba? O baka naman ayaw mo lang kasama si Stacey?” Sheena asked suspiciously. Ganoon din ang itsura ni Maloi ngayon. Nag-aalala na siya na baka hindi na komportable si Jhoanna sa pagsasama nilang apat.

“Hindi Shee, wala lang talaga akong gana,” Pilit na ngiti ang iginawad niya sa mga kaibigan. Sheena and Maloi exchange a knowing looks before finally accepting Jhoanna’s response. But of course, they didn’t believe it. They knew it was all to avoid Stacey.

Umuna na sila at naiwan ngayon si Jhoanna sa booth ng kanilang department. Everyone was taking their lunch so now she’s alone here. May mga freshies na dumadaan pa kung kaya’t ngumingiti siya sa mga roon. Some were even asking for Jhoanna’s number but she had to politely decline them. Jusko, mga atabs pa ‘yang mga ‘yan! Mag-memorize muna sila ng mission and vision ng school!

“Isn’t lunch time?”

“Palaka!”

Aiah looked really offended at the word Jhoanna blurted out, “I could never be palaka,”

“A-ate Aiah!” Nagugulat na tawag ni Jhoanna sa dalaga na ngayon ay pumasok na sa kanilang booth. Aiah examined their booth and she looks amazed, ang daming mga nakasabit na parang dream catcher tapos ang comfy pa ng theme nila. Parang pwede kang matulog dahil ang aliwalas.

“Panalo na ba kami?” Nangingiting tanong ni Jhoanna. She was all down earlier but upon having the presence of Aiah, ewan niya pero she couldn’t suppress a smile. Ang gaan din kasi talaga kapag nandyan siya.

“I got you siomai rice,” Iyon ang isinagot ni Aiah kung kaya’t napanguso si Jhoanna, “Oo, your booth could have the potential to win.”

“Talaga! I was one of the makers of it!” Masayang tugon ni Jhoanna kung kaya’t nailing na lang si Aiah. She looks like a child, asking for approval.

Aiah handed her the paper bag that contains her lunch, “Talagang kumain ka. Don’t involve your stomach if you can’t bear someone’s presence — it’ll only stir your emotions up even more.”

And that hit Jhoanna. Alam ni Aiah na hindi siya kumain dahil kay Stacey. But it wasn’t all that. She was actually waiting for Aiah, she was waiting for her in the first place. Because she thinks that eating with Aiah is way better than acknowledging Stacey’s existence if she chose to spend lunch with her friends.

“K-kumain ka na ba?” Jhoanna asked. Trying not to sound hopeful.

“Yes, with Mikha. Nakasalubong ko ‘yung tatlo and Maloi told me na wala kang gana so I had to buy you that,” Turo niya sa paper bag na hawak na ngayon ni Jhoanna.

Jhoanna’s shoulders dropped for some reason after hearing Aiah’s answer. She don’t know but she felt stupid for expecting Aiah to actually invite her — let alone give her this paper bag out of her own thought.

Nilagay ni Jhoanna ang paper bag sa katabing lamesa at umiling, “Salamat, pero wala talaga kasi akong gana. Gawa siguro ng iced coffee.” Dahilan niya.

Aiah nodded and smiled faintly, “I should go now then,” It was too cold. Too cold that Jhoanna was wondering why Aiah suddenly look a bit pouty. May nagawa ba siya?

“T-thank you..” Jhoanna whispered but Aiah surely heard it when she nodded. Tinalikuran niya na ito at lumakad na siya palabas.

“Wait!” Jhoanna pulled Aiah’s wrist abruptly when a group of students ran near the booth, almost causing Aiah to get knocked over.

Jhoanna caught the girl’s wrist and waist in one swift motion, pulling her close until their bodies pressed together. The sudden nearness stole Aiah’s breath, her eyes widening as she found their faces just inches apart.

Jhoanna took the moment to finally ask Aiah, “Ate Aiah, galit ka ba?” Bulong niya.

Aiah was too stunned she had to explore Jhoanna’s deep stare and it’s causing a thousand war inside her chest. Those pleasing eyes, it makes Aiah go weak in her knees for some reason.

“G-galit?” Nanghihinang tanong ni Aiah. Her hands, resting on Jhoanna’s chest, slowly curled into fists as her breathing grew unsteady.

“Did I do something wrong earlier? Ayaw mo bang hinahawakan ang buhok mo? Or hina-hug ka? I’m sorry Ate Aiah—”

“No, just do whatever you think would get Stacey’s attention,” Aiah pushed Jhoanna slightly so they could finally separate their bodies. Jhoanna looks like she doesn’t want to as her hold on Aiah’s waist stayed for a couple of seconds if it weren’t for Aiah pulling her arms to let go.

Get a grip Aiah, Jhoanna’s making you lose it.

“Ang galing mo nga e, nakita ni Stacey ka-sweetan mo kanina,” Aiah wiped some beads of sweat from her temple before fixing herself. She needs to get out from Jhoanna’s sight now or else her rampaging heart wouldn’t be able to take it.

Jhoanna watched the other girl be rattled. She squeezed her brows and fixed her glasses. She couldn’t figure out if Aiah’s upset or just not in the mood because in their usual times, Aiah would joke around and pull such witty remarks. And she’s not like this today, parang gusto niya na talagang umalis sa harap ni Jhoanna. And it doesn’t make Jhoanna feel any better.

“Aalis na ako, Jho. I’ll see you around, we don’t need to pretend we’re dating or so kasi wala naman ngayon si Stacey sa paligid.”

It took a Aiah a few steps before Jhoanna spoke again behind that made Aiah clutched her chest to stop it from pounding.

“But I don’t have any idea that Stacey was watching us earlier..”

-

“I heard everyone was whispering about you and Jhoanna,” Colet nudged Aiah’s elbow. Nasa klase sila ngayon at talagang nagawa pang chumika ni Colet kay Aiah e major subject nila.

“What are they saying?”

“Gulat? Because you’re actually dating someone. Tapos sa unexpected person pa,” Colet said while spinning her pen like an expert.

“Jhoanna’s not unexpected, don’t you think we could actually click? Hindi ba kami bagay?”

“Bagay, lakas nga ng titigan niyo lagi e. Na para bang kayo lang ang tao sa mundo.”

That made Aiah’s heart pound loud again. It’s just that, Jhoanna’s eyes are very expressive and every time they would stare at each other, she couldn’t get out of it. It was like she’s meant to gaze at it forever. Is that even possible?

What am I even thinking like I have a crush on Jhoanna or something?

“Speaking of, ayan na si girlfriend. Nasa pinto, hinahanap ka,” Agad na nakuha ni Colet ang lumilipad na utak ni Aiah nang sabihin niya iyon. And there her eyes landed on the front door of the classroom with the woman she’s currently thinking about. Jhoanna.

She was scanning the room trying to find someone and when she met Aiah’s eyes, a wide perfect smile and wave sent Aiah to stop breathing for a split second. She’s too good to be true.

“May dala akong ice cream, I heard you mention it last night sa chat. Major niyo ngayon ‘di ba? You can eat this while you listen to the discussion.” Abot ni Jhoanna sa kaniya ng isang cup of ice cream and it’s cookies and cream. She never mentioned anything about her favorite flavor but Jhoanna somehow knew what it is.

“Cookies and cream, nakita ko ‘yung flavor ng ice cream na kinakain mo last year noong lumaban ka for essay contest. I’m not sure if that’s your favorite but yea, nakakahiya naman itanong kung anong favorite flavor of ice cream mo nang last minute,” Jhoanna scratched her nape and giggled softly. Hinting a bit of redness on her cheeks for explaining.

Hindi na yata alam ni Aiah kung paano pa niya pipigilan ang dibdib niya sa pagtibok nang mabilis. Jhoanna’s smile and what she just did right now is too much for her sanity.

“Last year? You saw me last year?” Aiah couldn’t help but ask. They weren’t even having any interactions last year. They were never friends until now.

“Everyone sees you, Ate Aiah,” Jhoanna answered. Ayan na naman siya, she caressed Aiah’s hair gently again like it’s her favorite thing to do.

Jhoanna bent down a little and smiled, “And there is no Stacey here so don’t sulk. I’m doing this so you could focus more on class. Enjoy mo ‘yang ice cream mo, bossing!” Jhoanna’s last lines before walking away.

How could Stacey keep breaking up with you when you look this bright and golden?

“Yes.. Jhoanna is the sweetest.” Aiah smiled as she talks about Jhoanna in front of Maloi, Sheena, and Stacey at the cafeteria. Magkakasama silang nagl-lunch ngayon and now they’re executing the fake dating thing.

Maloi giggled like a proud child seeing her two parents talk about their healthy relationship. Habang si Stacey ay walang emosyon na nakikinig at panay ang irap. Hindi naman halatang bitter siya, right?

“She brought me foods in class and would always wait for me para sabay kaming uuwi.” Kwentong muli ni Aiah. She is enjoying Stacey’s silent response and she wants to annoy her more.

“Kaya pala paglingon ko sa upuan namin sa klase, wala na agad!” Ani ni Sheena, “Nasa kabilang building na pala ang kumag.”

Jhoanna was still stiff and didn’t know what to answer her friends because Stacey’s presence makes her feel divided. She just smiled and would blow a lot of air, she’s not good at this pretending thing. She can never be!

“You have to help me here, Jho,” She heard Aiah whispered and pinched Jhoanna’s thigh while still smiling in front of her friends.

Wala siyang choice, pumayag siya sa ganitong setup kahit na pakiramdam niya ay wala naman silang naloloko. Sheena knew exactly that this thing with her and Aiah is fake! Well, hindi siya sure kay Maloi and with Stacey? Let’s just not talk about it. She’s the main reason why she’s doing this.

“Aiah just deserves to be loved and I’m willing to show it to her anytime,” Jhoanna finally stated but her eyes are fixated on Stacey that suddenly stopped eating her food after hearing Jhoanna. Nanatili siyang nakatungo sa kaniyang plato.

Aiah looked at Jhoanna only to see her attention on the other girl. She watched as the two unfolds a heavy atmosphere that Aiah could never compete.

Jhoanna longs for Stacey.

And that is something Aiah would always see.

“Thanks for today,” Aiah finally stopped walking when they reach the gate of the school. She’s with Jhoanna and susunduin siya ngayon ni Mikha dahil wala siyang dalang sasakyan.

“Thank you rin, galing mo um-acting, sorry wala akong ambag,” Napakamot si Jhoanna sa kaniyang batok nang sabihin niya iyon.

Aiah felt a lump form in her throat as the scene in the cafeteria replayed in her mind. It had been her idea, but she hadn’t expected it to feel this heavy — especially whenever she would caught Jhoanna and Stacey looking at each other. She didn’t understand why it stung so much, only that it did.

“Next time galingan mo, pero okay na rin ‘yung ‘Aiah just deserves achuchu’ mo, it got Stacey for sure..” Aiah smiled, amidst the bitterness she’s feeling.

Both of them laughed as they recall the moments earlier. This is how it’s supposed to be, give her to Stacey once the goal has been reached.

“For sure babalik na siya sa ‘yo,” Mapait na ngiti ang iginawad ni Aiah nang sabihin niya iyon. She saw as Jhoanna smiled slowly and looked away, as if she’s seeing through the future with hope and fears.

“Sana nga,” Aiah’s ears almost bleed when Jhoanna said that. And before she could even clutch her chest, Mikha’s car appeared to pick her up from this dejection.

It had been almost two weeks since they started their so-called fake dating arrangement. Two weeks — long enough for people to start noticing, and long enough for Stacey to start reacting to it. The plan was working, or at least that’s what it seemed. Jhoanna made sure of that. She played her role a little too well — waiting for Aiah outside her classroom, sharing lunches together in the cafeteria, and letting her fingers brush against Aiah’s hand or shoulder in public. Every move was deliberate, meant to look real, and Aiah was going with it too.

“Truth or dare na! Let’s gather around!” Sheena and Maloi excitingly went on the living room to start the game. Aiah’s friends and Jhoanna’s are here sa condo ni Maloi to hangout. Over the 2 weeks of their fake dating, nagsimula nang magsama sama sa iisang table ang mga kaibigan nila Aiah at Jhoanna kaya ngayon eto sila, magkakasundo na.

That also includes Stacey in their circle. Funny how they can all endure the thought that two of their friends used to date — and now one of them is dating another. Ewan ba, magkakasundo rin kasi talaga silang lahat kahit na pakiramdam nila Sheena minsan ang awkwardness.

“Okay Shee! Truth or dare!” Ani Maloi nang matapat kay Sheena ang bote at sa kaniya na magtatanong.

“Truth,” Walang kaba na sagot ni Sheena.

“Crush mo pinsan ko? Si Gwen?” Maloi smirked when she got Sheena’s reaction. Para siyang nagulat dahil kiniliti bigla. The others teased Sheena even though they really don’t know who Gwen is.

“Luh! E parang tuod ‘yon kausap e! Isang word lang sumagot! ‘Wag na lang, Ate Maloi!” Reklamo ni Sheena. Natawa naman si Maloi dahil nakasama ni Shee si Gwen one time sa isang family gathering kung saan sabit si Sheena kasi need ni Maloi ng company dahil ‘boring’ nga ang pinsan niya na si Gwen e puro matatanda ang nasa gathering. Kaya ayon, sila ang nagtuos pero nabaltik lang si Sheena dahil sobrang tipid daw kausap.

“Pero cute siya? Bet mo?” Nang-aasar na tanong ni Jhoanna. Katabi niya ngayon si Aiah habang nasa tapat naman niya si Stacey at Mikha na parang tumutusok ang tingin sa kanilang dalawa ni Aiah. Jhoanna doesn’t know what’s up with Mikha but she’s pretty sure about why Stacey is. That’s the main point here, to make her feel jealous.

“Cute lang siya,” The others squealed upon hearing Sheena’s answer.

“Dalaga na ang Bebe na ‘yan!”

The laughter went on and so as the game. Ang laki lang ng pasasalamat ni Jhoanna dahil hindi natatapat sa kaniya ang bote. Meanwhile, ang tahimik na si Mikha ay agad na napatingin sa mga kaibigan nang matapat sa kaniya ang bote at si Colet naman ang magtatanong.

“You better not make me do something stupid here,” Banta ni Mikha, already tired of Colet’s teasing grin.

“Do you feel jealous?”

“You didn’t even ask truth or dare yet!” Reklamo ni Mikha, when Colet immediately threw the question. Everyone burst into laughter at how quick it escalated, and Colet, realizing her slip-up, apologized before finally asking her properly.

“Truth,” Mikha rolled her eyes because Colet complained why she didn’t choose dare, may naiiisip pa naman daw siya.

“Just ask, Ate Colet,” Mikha stated again, becoming impatient.

“Ayun nga tanong ko! Do you feel jealous?” Everyone was all ears with the question because they didn’t have any idea what Colet is talking about.

“Jealous with who?” Nagtatakang tanong din ni Mikha.

“Yes or no lang tanong ko!”

Mikha looked confused about Colet’s stupid question. Nakangisi pa ang kumag na para bang nage-enjoy siya sa tanong niyang lahat ay walang idea kung ano. But as Mikha being Mikha, she didn’t push further and just wanted to finish the attention of her friends towards her.

Mikha glanced at the two women seated in front of her — Jhoanna and Aiah, whose shoulders touched and knees brushed side to side. They were whispering something at each other and god knows what unholy shits it is. But then she has a question to answer so she turned to Colet who’s waiting,

“No. I don’t,” She answered in her lowest voice.

She wasn’t jealous of Aiah and Jhoanna; she’d rather die than admit it.

“Hatid na kita.”

“I’ll take you home, Ate Aiah.”

Aiah looked at the two girls who had both approached her for a ride. Jhoanna and Mikha exchanged glances upon hearing each other’s offer to Aiah. Mikha looked displeased to hear it from Jhoanna because it was her that usually takes Aiah home. So yes, she wants to say ‘Back off, Jhoanna’ but she couldn’t.

She wasn’t her girlfriend, she was just Aiah’s friend.

Aiah didn’t know what to say. She tried to open her mouth, but hesitation hovered over her. It was conflicting — kanino siya sasakay ngayon niyan? Jhoanna had offered, and it was actually the first time in over two weeks since they started their fake dating. Until now, she had always let Mikha take her home after class.

“Why don’t you take Stacey home instead? Mukhang walang maghahatid sa kaniya,” Mikha suddenly spoke. Silang tatlo pa lamang ang nasa labas ngayon dahil pababa pa lamang ng elevator ang iba.

Jhoanna’s brows furrowed, and when she looked at Aiah, the latter only nodded — as if agreeing with Mikha’s suggestion. The gesture snapped Jhoanna back to her senses. Of course, Aiah would prefer Mikha to take her home; that’s how it’s always been. But for once, Jhoanna wanted it to be her — the one Aiah would talk to inside the car, laugh with, and share the quiet end of the night beside.

Stacey and the others finally stepped out of the place, only to find the three of them locked in a staring contest. Stacey gave the three a knowing look, wondering why the atmosphere seemed off. She had never seen Jhoanna look so… dejected about something. But when Jhoanna noticed her, it was as if everything had been planned. Jhoanna reached out and touched her arm lightly — their first bit of skinship in a while. And it confused her even more, especially with Aiah standing right there behind them, her girlfriend.

“I’ll take you home, do you have your car with you?” Jhoanna asked, staring at Stacey. Stacey was still grasping what was happening but then she shook her head to answer. Jhoanna sighed and started walking past her, indicating that she’ll wait for her in the car.

The others also wore puzzled expressions after what happened. Aiah rode with Mikha, while Stacey went with Jhoanna. There wasn’t really an issue—except that Jhoanna and Stacey were exes, and god knows what could happen if the two were left alone together. What’s even more confusing is that Aiah allowed it, as if it was perfectly fine with her that her girlfriend was taking her ex home.

“Why would you let Jhoanna take Stacey home?” Mikha was now starting to ask questions as they got in the car, “Are you for real? That’s her ex Ate Aiah.”

Aiah suddenly felt annoyed with Mikha. Hindi ba siya ang nag-suggest na ihatid na lang ni Jhoanna si Stacey? Why is she even asking now that Jhoanna did?

“You suggested it. And besides, aren’t you glad she did? That way, you’ll be the one to take me home,” Aiah replied, fastening her seatbelt. She let Jhoanna do it because she thought that’s what Jhoanna wanted — to be able to talk to Stacey. Aiah was just making way, and yet she still had to come up with an excuse so the situation wouldn’t look like she was allowing Jhoanna to do something forbidden. After all, they were still together — even if it was only fake.

Mikha had never been this confused now, “I was just joking around, I didn’t know Jhoanna would actually do it!” She exclaimed before speaking again, “So it’s okay with you to let Jhoanna be with her ex-girlfriend? God knows what those two could do, Ate Aiah! That’s really alright with you?”

Mikha was right. It dawned on Aiah that a lot could happen between those two now that she had let Jhoanna go. But the funny thing is, wala naman siyang karapatan kung nagkataon. If they had already fix their relationship after tonight? Then that’s it. Their plan has been successful. Jhoanna could get back with her, and she hopes na hindi na sila maghiwalay.

But still, they’re dating in the eyes of other people. She still has to act like one until Jhoanna would tell her that they’re done. That Stacey already learned her lesson and won’t leave her anymore.

“I trust Jhoanna, she wouldn’t do such thing,” Aiah looked through the window when Mikha started the engine, “Ihahatid niya lang si Stacey, they’re friends after all.”

Way to go, Aiah. Way to go.

“Your relationship looks like a joke then,” Hindi na pinansin ni Aiah ang sinabi ni Mikha. She was already drowning in her own thoughts. It hurt to admit that she hated the thought of Jhoanna telling Stacey she missed her — and worse, that Stacey might say she missed her too.

Jhoanna might realize it now that Stacey has been hers all along. Aiah should be happy right? That she got to help Jhoanna. That’s what she wanted, to help her so she won’t feel terrible seeing Jhoanna cry and look helpless every time.

But why is a tear suddenly streaming down Aiah’s face?

Three consecutive quizzes today? Couldn’t be more draining for Aiah. Jusko! Ubos na ubos na yata braincells niya dahil sa mga essays at computations na kinailangan niyang sagutan ngayong araw!

And if it wasn’t any better, the woman that she’s been trying to get out of her system is waiting patiently at the door for her, Jhoanna. She’s like a lost kid, with her black framed glasses on that she fixes innocently and would smile after finally seeing Aiah stepping out of the classroom.

“Akin na ‘yan,” Jhoanna had been doing this for a while now with Aiah—carrying her books and making sure her hands were free from anything heavy. Then she would pout and gesture toward her own arm, hinting for Aiah to cling to her. It was just a small thing, just for show, yet why did it feel so normal and domestic between them? Like Jhoanna actually wanted Aiah to hold her.

“Nakauwi ka ba nang maayos kagabi?” Tanong ni Jhoanna.

Aiah’s chest tightened suddenly. She didn’t want to ask anything about what happened last night with Jhoanna and Stacey, because Jhoanna being here already said a lot. It meant they still weren’t back together. And that Aiah could still have Jhoanna—Jhoanna’s company.

“Yea, Mikha dropped me home kaagad,” Sagot ni Aiah. Jhoanna silently nodded and so Aiah turned to her, Jhoanna looked conflicted about something and Aiah wanted to ask what’s wrong.

“May problema ba?” Aiah couldn’t avoid it. Even though she was aching to stop asking about last night, she knew she still had to, “K-kumusta... kayo kagabi ni S-stacey?”

Jhoanna was silent. It was the kind of silence that shouted hesitance, looking at Aiah right now.. she knew she still had to tell Aiah.

“W-we kissed.”

It’s been days since she started avoiding Jhoanna. She doesn’t know how she can since Jhoanna would always wait for her after class but she did. She would make up excuses that she forgot a thing, that she has group activities, that she would meet her parents— just anything that would make her stop meeting Jhoanna.

It’s just ridiculous to keep seeing her, after she said that they kissed. What’s the point right? Aiah had to pinch her arms that day to stop herself from almost crying in front of Jhoanna. Instead, she nudged her and was so happy for her that she can finally get her back. That was a good step ahead but she just needed to get away.

Hindi niya na alam kung anong nangyayari sa kaniya. Hindi niya alam kung bakit ganito siya ka-apektado, mababaliw na siya. She kept thinking this was finally it—she was actually helping them get back together. But now, it felt like she was the one losing herself.

Jhoanna was always trying to catch her, talk to her but she’d avoid her like a flu. Kailangan niya lang mag-isip nang maayos. Lalayo muna siya, and pagbalik niya, she’d end this fake dating thing for Jhoanna to finally settle things with her Ex.

And for Aiah to finally stop her delusions and growing feelings because it would just lead her to death. Her supposed to be final destination is seeing Jhoanna, happy with Stacey.

“Ate Aiah!” There she heard her voice again. Aiah didn’t look back and was just running out of the building. Kunwari ay hindi niya naririnig na tinatawag siya ni Jhoanna. Kailangan niyang lumayo! For god’s sake she needs to stop whatever bitterness this is! Bakit ba hindi iyon makita ni Jhoanna?!

“Fuck, why does it have to rain?!” Aiah cursed under her breath when she had to stop and sought cover under the roof of the building. Naabutan pa siya ng ulan, pero kailangan niyang takbuhan si Jhoanna.

Aiah bit her lower lip and ran out, letting the rain wash over her. Wala siyang payong, hindi niya alam na uulan pala kaya ngayon lumulusong siya sa ulanan para lang maiwasan si Jhoanna.

“Ate Aiah naulan!” Rinig niya pang sigaw ni Jhoanna.

“Ate Aiah!” she squealed when she felt an arm wrap around her waist, pulling her toward the side of the building for shelter. Dang it! How fast is this woman? She actually followed her here?! Basang basa sila!

“Ate Aiah iniiwasan mo ba ako?!” Jhoanna shouted, her face covered in raindrops, her glasses fogged and speckled with water.

“Jhoanna! Bakit ka nagpa-ulan?!” Nag-aalalang tanong niya dahil hindi malakas ang immune system ng dalagang ito! Even one drop of rain could get her sick! Last time na naabutan si Jhoanna ng ulan, dalawang araw siyang absent!

“Answer my question Ate Aiah! Why are you avoiding me?!”

Aiah could feel Jhoanna’s frustration and so was she. She’s so frustrated right now that she just wants to avoid Jhoanna again. Hindi niya na alam ang nangyayare sa kaniya! She’s fucking losing this game and she needs to get out now before it gets real!

“H-hindi kita iniiwasan.. busy lang talaga ako.” Pagsisinungaling ni Aiah.

Jhoanna stared at her. She stared at her to find the lies in her words but Aiah was just looking down. Not planning to meet her eyes and it just frustrates Jhoanna even more.

“I hate that you’re actually lying just to get rid of me,” Jhoanna chuckled and brushed her hair back. Aiah finally looked at her and she don’t know if it’s still the rain drop on her face or was she actually crying?

Jhoanna’s crying.

“Here, take this. Huwag kang magpa-ulan, may quiz ka bukas.” Jhoanna pulled Aiah’s wrist and handed her the umbrella she’d been holding for a while. For a fleeting moment, she was there—and then she was gone from Aiah’s sight, running off just as Aiah needed her to.

And it’s still raining.

“Ate Jho’s not here, kahapon pa siya absent. Hindi rin siya nagr-respond sa text at tawag ko, May nangyari ba sa kaniya?” Tanong ni Sheena kay Aiah. Narito sila ngayon sa tapat ng classroom nila and she’s checking for Jhoanna’s presence.

“Uh, nabasa kasi siya ng ulan. I think she’s sick,” Aiah honestly answered.

Sheena frowned, “Ha? E may payong ‘yon ah?! Sinabi niya pa sa akin na hindi siya p’wedeng maulanan kasi wala raw magdadala sa ‘yo ng snacks t’wing quizzes mo kapag nagkasakit siya.”

That made Aiah feels worse that she had to let Jhoanna run away that day. Dang it, that woman would never stop bugging her heart, will she?

Aiah bit her lower lip, hesitant to tap the doorbell of Jhoanna’s door. Nandito siya ngayon sa condo unit ni Jhoanna, magbabalik ng payong... pero nagdala siya ng lugaw at paracetamol.

“Uh! Just push it Aiah!” She whispered on herself as she finally tapped the doorbell thrice. She was shaking her legs, waiting for someone to open the door. But there was none.

Aiah scratched her head and decided to call Jhoanna instead. She typed her number and thank god because Jhoanna’s phone was on.

Agad na nagulat si Aiah when it only took her a one ring before Jhoanna answered the call.

Wow, ang bilis niya naman sumagot? Akala ko ba hindi siya nagr-reply kay Sheena?

“Hey.. are you home?” Aiah spoke on the call.

“Are you here?” Jhoanna asked on the other line, husky.

It made Aiah’s heart jump, god dang it Jhoanna’s voice sounds different to her system.

“Y-yes.. ibabalik ko lang ‘yung payong mo.”

The other line went silent and she could only hear Jhoanna’s breathing, “Hello? Jho?”

“Iwan mo na lang sa may pinto,” Sagot niya. Aiah’s brows furrowed at the girl’s answer. Bakit ang sungit?

Does she not want to see Aiah? Or is she the one avoiding her now?

“May dala rin akong gamot—” Agad na napako sa kinatatayuan si Aiah nang makitang bumukas na ang pinto ng condo ni Jhoanna, revealing her. She’s wearing a brown sweater and a striped pajama pants. Hindi niya suot ang salamin niya kung kaya’t naka-singkit ang kaniyang mga mata, making her look like a grumpy child along with her slight messy hair that for some reason, Aiah finds really cute and attractive.

She doesn’t know how or why but now she’s inside of Jhoanna’s place, roaming around as Jhoanna went back to her room. Hindi niya alam ang gagawin dahil iniwan siya ng dalaga rito sa living room!

It was obvious that Jhoanna was leading Aiah to her bedroom. And Aiah has to gulp because she’s not planning to stay here any longer. She just wants to check on her, give her the umbrella, lugaw, and medicine!

“I’m here to give you your payong back, Jho. Next time, huwag mong ipahiram dahil ikaw ang nagkakasakit.” Aiah finally spoke when she got into her room. Jhoanna was back on her bed, covered in comforter and closing her eyes.

Jhoanna's room looks very cozy and clean. Black furniture and white walls, so minimalist. Jhoanna really knows how to connect herself with her things because her place really speaks about her. All neat and organized.

Tinawag ni Aiah muli si Jhoanna na ngayon ay nilingon siya, She opened one eye before closing it again, making herself more comfortable in bed.

“Jho? Seriously? Wake up, I’m going. Nasa lamesa ang lugaw at gamot na dala ko, inumin mo na lang.” Aiah tried to call her again but Jhoanna wouldn’t budge.

Naiinis na si Aiah kung kaya’t lumapit siya sa kama ni Jhoanna at akmang hahawakan siya para gisingin nang laking gulat niya dahil naunahan siya nito. Jhoanna pulled Aiah’s wrist and eventually opened her eyes. She stared at Aiah’s stunned expression with pleading.

“Stay.” Jhoanna whispered. Her hold on Aiah’s wrist were not so tight but enough to feel that she doesn’t wanna let go of her.

“B-but—”

“Nagkasakit ako, kailangan mo akong alagaan,” Imik muli ni Jhoanna.

“It’s not my fault!” Depensa ni Aiah. Although she does feel like it is, a big part of her came here because she feels bad.

“It is,” Mahinang pakikipagtalo ni Jhoanna sa kaniya, “I was losing my mind.”

Hindi narinig ni Aiah ang mga sinabi ni Jhoanna pahuli kung kaya’t tinanong niya itong muli pero hindi niya na ito inulit pa.

“Stay here, please?” Aiah was too weak for this. Jhoanna’s eyes—so round and pleading—melted every wall she’d been trying to build just so she could say no. Her grip alone was enough to make Aiah realize: Jhoanna wasn’t letting her go. Not this time.

“Ihahanda ko lang ‘yung lugaw mo.” Aiah tried to escape from Jhoanna’s hold and gaze when she said that. But Jhoanna wasn’t even trying to let go, so Aiah looked at her—only to regret it the moment Jhoanna pulled her down to sit on the bed. The sudden movement made Aiah press her hands against Jhoanna’s chest, their faces now dangerously close.

“Jho!”

“Sabi ko nga stay, Ate Aiah tapos aalis ka?”  Jhoanna whispered with her low voice. They don’t know whose heart it is that’s beating loudly than ever when their eyes locked. It was as if they were searching for something that could possibly answer their different questions, thoughts, and confusions.

Aiah’s hands curled into fists when she felt Jhoanna’s hands on her waist, steadying her without breaking eye contact. Her knees went weak, and her breathing faltered. Jhoanna’s quiet desperation for her not to leave her or ran away from her is causing this tight hold.

“Aiah,” Jhoanna called her. She stared deeply, too deep that she hadn’t realize Jhoanna’s hands tucking some strands of her hair behind her ear then slowly cupping her cheek.

What are you doing, Jho?

They stayed there for a couple of seconds, just feeling each other’s heat. Jhoanna looks at her like she’s been longing for this, and it aches her. She has been avoiding this woman and here she is, back in her arms.

Jhoanna slowly drifted her hand on Aiah’s neck, caressing it slowly. The sensation it gives sent shivers all over Aiah. This is dangerous, Jhoanna is committing something dangerous when she felt her gently pulling her head closer.

There was no space left between them when their noses touched. Both closed their eyes, feeling each other’s skin and slow breaths. There was hesitation—on both sides—but neither wanted to pull away. Their grip on each other tightened, temptation growing. And Jhoanna was losing it when her thumb brushed over Aiah’s soft lips.

No, it wasn’t enough for Jhoanna to go crazy because Aiah had kissed her thumb gently while still closing her eyes. Fuck. They were far enough to stop, Jhoanna’s heartbeat is going wild, everything about her is heating and she’s sure it wasn’t because of her fever but because of this woman close to her.

“A-aiah..” Jhoanna called her helplessly.

“Jho,” Aiah whispered, almost a breath. She couldn’t open her eyes, and there she felt a tear streaming down her face. This is so wrong, but she couldn’t even take a step back. She’s stuck. Stuck on Jhoanna’s spell, and she feels wrong for just wanting to feel her.

One more move, one more touch of their noses and Jhoanna ended all of the wars inside Aiah’s head when she finally dove in, feeling her lips to hers.

Thousands of electricity surge through Aiah’s nerves. Jhoanna’s lips are on hers, and she just.. she just doesn’t wanna leave it anymore. She’s doomed, for feeling so much for a kiss.

“W-we kissed.”

“I-I’m sorry, I need to go.”

Stupid, Aiah!

Tears were streaming down her face as she remembered what Jhoanna had said to her. She fucking kissed Stacey. Why the hell would she even try and do it with her too? This is achingly stupid. And she just wants to end all of these. She wants these feelings gone dahil hindi niya na kaya. Hindi na.

-

“Ate Aiah, let’s eat outside, my treat.” Aiah looked at Mikha who was now standing over her. At talagang pumasok pa siya sa classroom ni Aiah ah?

“No thank you, wala akong gana,” Sagot ni Aiah at bumalik sa kaniyang ginagawa.

“You said that three days straight now, may kinakain ka pa ba?” Colet interrupted them. Makikita sa mukha ng dalawang dalaga na nag-aalala na sila kay Aiah. It has been days of her not eating properly and god knows if she even does at home.

Wala lang talagang gana si Aiah pero nakain naman siya, ng tinapay at gatas.

“Leave me alone guys, I still have to review for my quiz,” Aiah tried to push the two girls away but they’re too persistent. Kulang na lang ay hilahin na siya nung dalawa e.

“Ate Aiah?”

Agad na nagwala ang dibdib niya nang marinig ang boses ng tumawag sa kaniya. No, not today please. That girl is the sole reason of her misery right now, and she doesn’t wanna see her.

Mikha and Colet heard it too. They turned to see Jhoanna and Mikha abruptly walked towards her, fuming. Colet had to get in between them because Mikha was to almost grab Jhoanna’s collar and she’s going to cause a scene!

“How dare you come here? Ano bang ginawa mo kay Ate Aiah? You’re ruining her!” Mikha shouted. She doesn’t care if there’s other people watching them. But she’s just really mad, so mad because Aiah doesn’t deserve whatever is Jhoanna making her feel!

Aiah stood up from her seat. She’s too tired, but she needs to stop the fight. Jhoanna wasn’t even trying to challenge Mikha; her sole focus was still on Aiah. She badly wants to talk to her but couldn’t because she’s avoiding her again!

“A-Aiah, please mag-usap tayo..” Nanghihinang tawag niya kay Aiah na ngayon ay nakatingin lamang sa kaniya.

“Jho, I have quiz later. P’wede ba?” Mahinahong saad ni Aiah. Ayaw niya muna ng ganito, she wants peace. And she will have it today.

“P-pero—”

“Jho, you heard her.” It is now Colet that spoke. She looks so serious. Wala siyang idea kung ano man ang nangyayari sa kanila pero hindi niya naman kayang hayaan na lang na nahihirapan ang kaibigan niyang si Aiah.

Jhoanna finally raised her white flag, but her eyes never left Aiah’s. She looked at her with so much hope, yet Aiah turned away. She didn’t want to get caught in her spell again.

“Leave!” Mikha shouted.

Tinalikuran na ni Aiah ang mga ito at mabilis na pinahid ang mga luhang muntikan nang pumatak sa harap ni Jhoanna. She sat back down on her chair and started reviewing some notes. She needs to know her place in Jhoanna’s life and that is to be out of it. The kiss was a mistake when obviously Jhoanna is still in love with Stacey.

This is just stupid. The fake dating was a stupid idea and she hates to realize it now that she’s gone mad.

Now that she’s in love with Jhoanna.

“Please, Ate Aiah let me take you home,” Mikha pleaded as they walk through the path outside of the school, “Look at you! You look so out of it, I need to make sure you’re safe.”

Aiah chuckled at Mikha’s statement, “What? Am I not pretty anymore?”

“No, you still are,” Mikha turned to look away, blushing.

Napailing na lamang si Aiah at akmang tatanggihan muli si Mikha nang hilahin na lamang siya ng dalaga, “Mikhs—”

“No, ihahatid kita pauwi. Take it or leave it,” Mikha firmly said as she guides Aiah to get in her car. Walang nagawa si Aiah nang paandarin na ni Mikha ang sasakyan.

“How are you?” Mikha started to ask.

Aiah looked through the window and exhaled, “I’m a mess.”

“Did Jhoanna cheat on you? Tell me the truth. I saw her with Stacey yesterday and today.”

Agad na nanikip ang dibdib ni Aiah nang marinig niya iyon. She was right, they’ll eventually get back together. Tama lang na umiiwas na siya ngayon kay Jhoanna para tuluyan na silang magkabalikan.

“That fucking asshole I swear I’m gonna—”

“No, she didn’t cheat on me.” Aiah cut Mikha off as she was just about to curse Jhoanna.

“Then what did she do to you?” Naguguluhang tanong ni Mikha. She’s so ready to throw punches at her now if she ever finds out something that made Aiah feel this terrible.

Aiah smiled bitterly upon hearing Mikha’s question. There was really nothing that Jhoanna did. It was all Aiah’s idea and now it’s her karma that she has to actually fall in love with a person who was still tied to her past.

“She did nothing, but just showed me how to actually care for someone.” Aiah whispered, feeling emotional again.

Mikha’s grip tightened on the steering wheel. She felt like she was choking on nothing but jealousy—jealous of how Aiah could still make Jhoanna look so good in her eyes. Even in this mess, Aiah still saw Jhoanna as something golden.

Jhoanna, a fucking lucky person.

“Thanks for dropping me home, Mikhs.” Aiah gave Mikha a genuine smile.

Mikha nodded and was about to respond when her phone rang. Aiah started unbuckling her seatbelt as Mikha took the call.

“What?” Aiah turned to Mikha who was now frowning and curiosity filled Aiah’s ears because of it, “Okay, where is she?”

Mikha glanced at Aiah, who was looking at her as if asking if something was wrong. When Mikha put her phone down, she turned to look straight at the girl beside her. She didn’t know if she should tell Aiah or not. She just knew she wanted to keep her—to not let her get any closer to Jhoanna. She wanted it to be her turn, her chance to finally have Aiah’s attention and care. She wanted to stop Jhoanna.


But she knew she could never take someone’s care away that easily. She could never compete if Aiah had really fallen for Jhoanna now. So, once again, she let go.

“It’s Jhoanna,” Mikha started speaking. Upon hearing her name, Aiah’s attention were sticked to whatever is Mikha going to say next.

“My friend saw her getting wasted at a bar alone,” Mikha cleared her throat, “And she’s looking for someone, a name of something they couldn’t quite hear.”

Worry crept all over Aiah as she take the news, “Take me to her.”

“Aiah are you sure about this? Kahit ako na lang ang papasok sa loob,” Pagpigil ni Mikha kay Aiah na ngayon ay pababa na ng sasakyan.

She didn’t listen to Mikha and just started running towards the entrance. Leaving her friend there and searched around the place for Jhoanna. She needs to see her, know that she’s okay because Jhoanna wasn’t into these kinds of places! She doesn’t go to bars, she dislikes it!

Aiah kept searching for the girl with worried eyes and heavy breathing, the place is huge and full of people — partying around it’s making it harder for Aiah to find her.

“Where are you..” Bulong ni Aiah.

It worried her how much Jhoanna might be in pain, being here — in a place she wouldn’t even go to. She wanted to hold her, comfort her, and tell her it’s alright, because Aiah couldn’t bear seeing those lovely eyes cry and ache.

“Ate Aiah!” Agad na napalingon si Aiah nang tawagin siya ni Mikha sa gitna ng maraming tao.

“Did you see Jhoanna? Where is she?!” Aiah immediately asked as soon as Mikha reached her.

Mikha held both of her arms, trying to calm her down because Aiah is worrying too much!

“Yes I saw her but—”

“Take me to her!”

Mikha didn’t have any choice but to guide her to where Jhoanna is. She sure is going to slap herself for this! Whatever Aiah would see is just going to crash her but Aiah’s not listening to her! She’s just all about wanting to see Jho!

Pumunta sila sa second floor at nagsimulang maglakad patungo sa isang vip room sa parteng dulo ng lugar. Every passing second all Aiah could think about was wanting to see Jhoanna’s state.

Mikha held the doorknob and looked at Aiah one more time, “I swear Ate Aiah ako na lang ang titingin kay Jho!”

Aiah wouldn’t listen to her, she’s starting to get annoyed at Mikha dahil kanina pa niya pinipigilan si Aiah na makita ang dalaga. What the hell is wrong with her?

Aiah’s becoming impatient. She pushed Mikha aside and twisted the doorknob herself. Aiah scanned the room with beating hearts and found Jhoanna, the girl she’s been aching for.

She found her — kneeling in front of Stacey, crying like she had been hurt too much. Aiah froze on the spot, watching the scene unfold with wide eyes. Tears were already streaming down her cheeks as she watched the girl she liked cling to Stacey’s legs, begging her for something.

“I love you now, please,”

It hurts..

Mikha called her, and she took a step back, still watching them. She couldn’t breathe anymore—it was too much. Jhoanna’s cries made her want to save her from her misery, but while she longed to do that, she was also sinking. It was killing her to see Jhoanna cry for someone else while she was here, dying right in front of her.

“Ate Aiah look at me!” She could hear Mikha’s shouts. Stacey and Jhoanna had heard it too as both of them turned to see Aiah, breaking down in front of them.

Jhoanna amidst being wasted, looked surprised to see Aiah here. She slowly let go of Stacey’s legs and got up from her knees as she realized what was happening. She glanced at Stacey and then Aiah.

She loves her... Jhoanna really loves her.

And before Jhoanna could even walk up to her, she ran out of there fast as she could. Faster as her heart aches to do.