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English
Series:
Part 1 of Our Phantasmagoria
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Published:
2016-06-21
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1,303
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1/1
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You matter to me.

Summary:

Aurica and Misha discuss something that isn't Lyner for once. Sort of.

Work Text:

"You know," Aurica said as she buttoned her shirt back up to the top and straightened her collar, "I've always been jealous of you."

Misha laughed. "Tell me something I don't already know. The sentiment goes both ways, Aurica." She was busy fiddling with Aurica's shirt herself, straightening out some wrinkles, patting it down to make sure it was nicely in place, no bunching or puckering. Poor girl had never really learned to properly care for her appearance, and Misha was determined to fix that. Even if Aurica didn't care, Misha did. More than she probably ought to.

Aurica's face was all scrunched up when she turned around, and Misha sort of wished she could fix that the same way she'd fixed the girl's shirt. "I know that," she retorted, her voice surprisingly soft for her haughty expression. Come to think of it, Aurica only ever really made that face for her. For anyone else, it was always just sad smiles or quiet frowns or, rarely, excitement, which seemed to be reserved solely for Lyner. "Your voice, your confidence, your strength, your poise...it's everything, really. But this is something different. Something I never really talk about."

Oh? "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," Misha said, holding her hands out steadyingly in front of her. "I mean, I know how hard it is. Opening up to people isn't easy. I'm not exactly the first person you'd probably want to open up to, anyway," she added with a rueful laugh. Their history was colored with plenty of petty squabbles, and neither of them had quite gotten over that. Aurica in particular seemed to withdraw a lot when they talked about their shared past. All the more reason to dismiss this topic and move on to happier things.

Aurica didn't seem keen to turn away this time, though. Maybe it was because she felt vulnerable after just being shirtless a moment ago, or maybe it was because she didn't have any grathmelding in front of her to distract herself with. Maybe she just felt like trying to bridge the gap between them for once.

"It's about what we did just now," Aurica said, looking down at the ground as was her wont. If Misha had one habit of Aurica's that really drove her nuts, it was that one. "You don't have to take life-extending agents. You're pure-blooded." Aurica looked up, then, and her face was contorted once more, only this time in deep sadness, the kind of sadness Misha had come to recognize as the type that meant that Aurica was ready to just give up on everything. And that was the kind of habit that made Misha just want to dive in and hug her and tell her it was all going to be okay. "You don't have to worry about death. You could live to be hundreds of years old, or thousands, like Lady Shurelia. I doubt I'll even make it to forty."

"Don't talk like that." Misha stood from the bed and moved to lay a hand on Aurica's shoulder, lifting the girl's hair up from the back of her chair and beginning to braid it. "Technology has been advancing rapidly ever since the people of Platina stopped being so stuffy. I'm sure they'll come up with something to help you before long. You and all the other third-generations."

"Why bother?" Oh, there she went again, talking down about herself. Misha sighed as she gently pulled some hair back behind Aurica's ear, straightening it, making sure it made it into the rest of the braid. "Even with all the changes, people still see us as expendable. Especially someone like me."

"Did everything you experienced on our journey mean nothing to you? Aurica, you're worth something. More than something. A lot of things." Now even Misha was getting tongue-tied. Why didn't Lyner ever get like this when he was comforting Aurica? The boy could be such a clueless idiot, but he always seemed to know just what to say in situations like this. A shame Misha had never really learned how to do the same. For all the power her singing voice had, she was a complete idiot when it came to regular, informal conversation. Yet another thing that Aurica had on her. Sure, the girl was quiet, but she was still better socialized than Misha. Not that such a feat was exactly difficult.

"If I were really so worthy," Aurica retorted, her voice gone dark and bitter, "Lyner would have chosen to follow my dream with me."

Misha was so tired of this crap. "This isn't about Lyner," she groaned, knowing absolutely that she was being a total hypocrite. It was always about Lyner. Even when it wasn't. "This is about you, okay? About us. And maybe you don't see yourself as somebody worth something, but I..."

Aurica caught on immediately to Misha's faltering, and she looked up, meeting her gaze with a quizzical one, one that looked genuinely curious. Misha could feel her face going hot. "You...?"

Aurica's voice was so innocent, so tiny, and Misha simultaneously wanted to strangle her and kiss her. It was the strangest feeling. One she still couldn't quite put a name to. "But I, I really feel like you're important," Misha finally admitted, fiddling with Aurica's braid to try to distract herself from the conversation. Her efforts were, of course, in vain. "You're important to me. That's why I'm staying here. I do want to travel, yes, but...right now, I want to make sure you're doing all right. I want to stay here as long as I need to, to make sure you know that you matter to somebody. Jeez, now I'm rambling. I always do that when I'm..."

"Flustered," Aurica finished for her, giggling. Well. At least Misha had cheered her up, even if it was at her own expense. She felt like her face was just about ready to explode. At least Aurica seemed to mirror her in that regard, just judging by the charming blush coloring her cheeks. And no wonder Lyner had become so taken with her; Aurica's smile was positively radiant, when she was truly happy.

"Sorry, this got really weird," Misha laughed, averting her gaze with the excuse of finding some kind of band to tie off Aurica's hair. Ah, perfect! One of those little black ribbons she always used.

"No, not at all. Thank you." Misha wasn't looking up to see it, but she could hear the smile in Aurica's voice, and it made her heart feel funny. "And, um, thanks for helping me with...with that, too."

Ah, yeah. The life-extending agent. The exact thing that had brought them to this whole discussion in the first place. "It's nothing. I've been living here rent-free, so it's the least I can do."

When Misha pulled the last loop through to finish the bow, she looked up again, and there was Aurica's beautiful, adorable smile, still there, unchanging. Had Misha seen the girl smile like this since she'd come here? She didn't think so. Normally it was those pained smiles, those quiet frowns, the faces Misha had grown so used to resenting. This look, though, was completely impossible to resent. The only thing Misha could feel, seeing that expression, was a mutual happiness.

"I'll be in the front," Aurica finally said, standing gracefully from her seat and offering Misha a polite little bow. "You're welcome to come help if you like. The extra pair of hands would really come in, um...handy."

Misha couldn't help but laugh at that, and in less than a moment, all the tension was gone, replaced with an ease that felt so natural, so pleasant. Misha could get used to this. "I'll be right there," she said.

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