Chapter Text
7:48
The first day
As he stood there at the gates of the school, he felt a slight dread in his stomach. His father sent him here after a so called 'scandal' in his previous school, and to follow his brothers footsteps and become a quote, 'less of a disappointment', his father had said to him a while back. Though he never wanted this. He had friends in his old school, not many, but he definitely had some. And they were good. He wasn't close to them, he never met them outside of school, but they were a part of his life when he was in school, and seeing as he spent most of his time there, that was enough for him. They listened when he needed someone, and they filled the awkward silence Todd always carried around with him, they were a shadow he could walk behind, a shadow he could hide in when he didn't want to be seen. Even though, most of the time, people didn't pay him much notice anyway.
Now though, as he looked at welltons big stone walls, wooden doors and very collected students, he felt horrible. He doesn't fit in this type of space, why the hell did his father send him here? He's pathetic, he's weird and awkward and stupid! He's nothing compared to his charismatic brother Jeffrey. God, how he hated that name, how he hated him. Maybe hate was the wrong word, he envied him, envied to be loved and wanted and seen like Jeffrey was. He was the star of the show, the light of the room, everyone liked Jeffrey, everyone heard what he said, everyone cared.
A sudden push pulls Todd out of his thoughts, the kid that pushed him gave him a dirty look and continued his business. Todd sighed, picked up his luggage and walked through the gates.
"Mr. Anderson, over here." A voice suddenly called out, he looked around until his eyes landed on a middle aged man.
"Hi, Mr..." He stammered and looked at the mans name tag "Mr. Keating" he cleared his throat and leaned uncomfortably from leg to leg.
"I will be your English teacher for your time here, I just wanted to greet you before we begin classes." Todd looked around awkwardly before shaking Keating's hand.
"O-" He cleared his throat "Okay, nice to meet you, Mr, ehm, Mr Keating."
"Please, just Keating" He smiled, his face warm. If all the teachers were gonna be like this, maybe it won't be as bad as he had imagined. "Well, Mr. Anderson, go on your way, I'm sure Mr. Nolan would like to speak to you." Todd nodded and walked away, head down, on his way to Mr. Nolans room.
If he was honest, he had no idea where the room was. But he for sure is not going to ask one of the kids. He walks around the big halls filled to the brim with kids and sweaty teenagers. He walks up a flight of stairs and finally sees a big wooden door with a golden label hung up on it. He knocks and waits for an answer.
"Come in." The voice is muffled and unimpressed, but still audiable as he turns the door handle hesitantly. He walks on, his back uncomfortably straight, his shoulders pinned back and his chin held high.
"Mr. Anderson, hello" He stood up from his desk chair.
"Hello Mr. Nolan" He reached out his hand, offering Nolan a hand shake, wich Nolan accepts firmly. His hand is dry and sandy, Todd hates it. Nolan sits back down on his chair.
"Please, sit." Todd sits down stiffly, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants. "So," he looks through Todd's files "Todd, I hope you know we have high expectations of you here in this school. We only have the best of the best, and your brother Jeffrey definitely was one of them. I expect alot from you, I hope you will not dissapoint me."
"I- I wont, sir." Todd whispered, looking down at his lap.
"What was that?"
"I won't dissapoint you sir." He responded louder, his voice still shaky but firm.
"Good." Mr. Nolan said firmly. "You may leave now. You will be in a single person room for now, your uniform is on the bed, wear it everyday to your classes. Do not wear your other clothes. You have a jacket and warmer clothes in the closet your room is provided with."
Todd nodded along to Nolans words while rising from his chair.
"Your room is room 107. There is no lock from the outside, only on the inside. If you need anything please go to one of your teachers." Todd walked to the door. "Bye now Mr. Anderson." Mr. Nolan looked like he wanted Todd gone right at this moment.
"Goodbye Mr. Nolan, thank you." Todd looked around the room, his eyes jumping from object to object, and exited the room and let out a shaky breath and made his way towards his room it was a Sunday, so he had no classes today, and oke of the good things of joining in the middle of the year is not having to go though those stupid welcoming speeches schools always do. The hall of the dorms were filled with noise, open doors to rooms with friends hanging out in them and around them. He get some weird looks by some of the guys, Todd held his hands in tight fists, pushing his alredy short and abused finger nails into the palms of his fists to ground him.
107 He shakily opens the door and walks in, dropping his luggage by his foot as he just stood there, looking at his home for the next few years. It wasn't much. It was bland and smelled like old wood. The single person bed was placed tight to the wall, the closet pressed firmly on the wall facing the bed and his desk right next to it. The floor boards creaked as he walked over to his bed and sat down hesitantly. He let out a shaky sigh, pressing the heel of his hand into his eye. After what happened this year with the kids in his previous school he was unsure how things would go. He didn't know if people would like him. And he didn't want rumors being spread about him, but he also didn't want to talk to anyone so he doesn't get hurt. He's scared. He can't fucking do this. Why isn't he like his brother? Fuck fuck fuck! Fuck Jeffrey! Todd took a deep breath and started unpacking his luggage, ignoring his ongoing thoughts.
A knock on the door, then it creaks open.
"Hi uh, we have dinner, so... come eat" the boy standing at his door had said, he looked bored, like telling Todd that dinner was ready was the last thing he wanted to do. Todd wasn’t sure if he should answer or apologize. "Oh and uh, my name's Charlie, Charlie Dalton." Todd nodded. "Well, bye now" he walked off, leaving the door open.
Dinner.
He stood up from the ground, letting out a breath. Charlie Dalton. He gave Todd that familiar look. Like he knows. It gave Todd a stomach ache just thinking about it. He walked out his room and made his way towards the dining room, pushing his way through crowds of hungry teenagers all pushing and trying to get to the food first, stupidly, ofcourse, because at the end of the day they will all reach the dining room at some point. whatever
He watched everyone take a plate and put themselves whatever they wanted, so he did the same. monkey see, monkey do. he looked at all the tables filled with people sitting, all the teachers were sitting at their own table, while the students sat along two huge tables. Todd scanned the chairs looking for an empty one with no success, he sighed and went outside to the cold November air, finding himself a nice wall to sit behind and eat in, until, a voice called out. "Hey! What are you doing out here?" Todd looked around, then he realized a teacher is yelling at him. Fuck his stomach dropped. His first day and hes alredy gettung in trouble? What a dissapointment! His dad is going to be so mad- "You're not allowed to be here in these hours!" Todd clamered up and made his way to the teacher shamefully. It was an old man with barely any hair left and pale white skin. "You're the new kid right? Anderson?"
"Uhm, yes, yes sir" He stammered.
"Ah, I know you, your brother studied here didn't he? Jeffrey Anderson, what a fine student he was" he went on and on about Todd's brother as they walked back to the dining room. "Well, Todd, you're supposed to sit with everyone else, so please find your seat and do not do that again" Todd nodded and gulped. "Good, now go on"
He ran his cold hand through his hair. Jesus, what a day. He wasn't even hungry to begin with. He dropped off his plate and made his way back to his room, this time making sure no one catches him. He slumped into his desk chair and looked at the desk set his parents had bought him. They hadn't said much, just Goodluck and sent him on his way with a desk set in hand.
A sudden wave of loneliness hit him. He knew no one. Wich is a good thing in a way, but that meant his days are going to be robotic, boring.
God.
He can't do this, he took his notebook out and started spilling out his emotions, it was the only way he was able to express himself. His pathetic voice didn't break when he wrote, it was only silence, only Todd's thoughts and feelings. He wrote till it was lights out, until the halls went silent and the only noise was of his pen scribbling on the paper.
Please God, make it go by fast.