Work Text:
The call is from an unknown number, but he recognizes the area code. It’s not his own.
Alex stares at his phone, tired from a long day in court. It could be a client, he tries to reason, but he doesn’t have any clients from that area right now. He makes sure not to take any clients from that area, ever.
Expecting a spam call, he presses ‘accept’ and puts the phone on speaker, slinging it onto the island in his kitchen. “Alex speaking,” he says immediately.
“Alexander Candleson? This is Sunmount Medical Center. You were listed as an emergency contact-”
“For who?” His eyes widen as he tries to remember the last time he talked to anyone in Sunmount, let alone someone for whom he’d be listed as the emergency contact.
“Ileao Novak, sir. I’m sorry to say this, but they were in a car accident. They’re currently in surgery.”
Alex doesn’t respond.
“Sir? Are you there? You’re their only emergency contact, we can’t get ahold of any family…”
“I- I’m on my way,” Alex chokes out, hating the unsteady cadence of his own voice. “I’ll be there, I- I’ll be there.”
☼☼☼
The truth is this: Alex hasn’t spoken to Ileao in four years, eleven months, and twelve days.
The last words they exchanged were terse goodbyes at eir aunt’s mansion. Alex was just dropping by to pick up some old belongings on his way to the airport. Ileao hadn’t said much, apart from “Good luck.” Eir aunt chastised em for being sarcastic, but Alex has always wondered if it might’ve been genuine. He’s still not sure.
☼☼☼
“Which room is Ileao Novak in?” Alex asks. The flight was a short one. It wasn’t enough time to get his shit together emotionally, but here he is, in Sunmount for the first time in nearly five years.
“I’m sorry, we’re only allowing family in at this time, sir,” the receptionist says.
“What- I was called! I’m eir emergency contact.”
“I’m sorry, but unless you’re family-”
“I am.”
Alex isn’t sure why the words come out of his mouth, except that he is sure, and he just doesn’t want to admit why. The receptionist raises an eyebrow; Alex and Ileao don’t look much alike.
“How, exactly, are you related?” the receptionist asks doubtfully.
“Well that’s a bit rude,” Alex says, stalling for time. “It’s 2025.”
“Oh,” says the receptionist. “Oh! Oh, I’m so sorry, I- I’m not homophobic! I didn’t mean- Of course, your spouse is in Room 106. Sorry again!”
Alex’s mouth goes dry at the implication, but it’s gotten him into Ileao’s room, hasn’t it? He nods stiffly and follows the receptionist’s pointed finger towards a double door into a long hallway.
When he peeks into Room 106, the first thing he sees is a nurse fussing over Ileao, who is fully unconscious and looking absolutely awful. Alex rushes into the room, careful not to knock over any important medical equipment.
“Excuse me! We aren’t allowing visitors at this time!” the nurse huffs indignantly.
“Husband,” Alex blurts out. Then, “Me, I. I am. Eir husband.”
“Oh, my apologies,” says the nurse. “Well, have a seat, they could be out for a while still. They just got out of surgery.”
Alex nods, his voice painfully absent as he pulls up a metal folding chair and gingerly sits upon it. Ileao looks different. Five years different. Eir navy blue hair appears much more reasonable, though still rather gravity-defying. Familiar freckles dot eir cheeks, and eir lips are pulled into a frown. Alex imagines that eir eyes are still the same striking shade of cyan.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” says the nurse. “If you need anything, or if they wake up, you just push this button here.”
“Thanks,” Alex says weakly, and she hurries out the door.
☼☼☼
The truth is this: Alex has had a crush on Ileao since elementary school.
He never said anything about it—couldn’t muster up the courage. Ileao was always so… vibrant. So free. Alex worried, somewhat irrationally, that his love would weigh em down, if ey knew.
Ileao could’ve taken the world by storm, if ey’d only tried. That’s what Alex always said, but Ileao was content with watching Alex take the spotlight while ey caused trouble on the sidelines. Alex wanted to be okay with that, but he also wanted em to be taken care of.
Ey didn’t get a job or start applying to colleges right out of high school like Alex did. Instead, eir family supported em financially as ey took a gap year, trying to find out what ey wanted to do with eir life. Ileao’s family was not always kind. Alex lived in fear of the day when he would get a call telling him eir aunt had finally kicked em out.
Ileao knew ey could come to him, at least, but Alex was always afraid he wouldn’t be able to support the lifestyle ey were used to. Ey weren’t as careless with money as eir wealthy family tended to be, but ey had still grown up in a mansion. Alex didn’t think his minimum-wage apartment would cut it.
But that day never came; Ileao still lived with eir aunt, on the day he left.
He wonders where ey live now, and thinks, briefly, that he could certainly get a lot closer to replicating Ileao’s past lifestyle now than he could when he was just starting college. Unfortunately, that didn’t matter if Ileao wasn’t around to see it.
☼☼☼
“W’th’fuck,” says Ileao, and Alex snaps to attention.
“Ileao?” he asks immediately, leaning in close and taking eir hand in his. “Can you hear me?”
“‘Course I can fuckin’ hear you, Alex,” ey grumble. Finally, eir eyes flutter open, and Alex swallows hard. It has been so long since he saw em last. Ey’ve changed so much. Ey haven’t changed a bit.
“Oh what the hell? How many consecutive all-nighters have you pulled, old man?” Ileao asks, sitting up abruptly.
Alex shushes em instinctively, gently pushing em back down against the bed. “I- What? None, Ileao. You-”
“Then why do you look like you were run over by a truck,” Ileao says flatly, and Alex winces. “Wait, really? You were?”
Alex gives em an unimpressed look. “No. As I’ve been told, you were.”
“Ohhh,” Ileao says quietly, looking down at eir hospital gown. “Oh, shit. That- That makes sense, actually. Alex, I don’t feel good.”
“Right,” Alex says quickly, reaching over to press the call button. Moments later, the nurse rushes into the room, and Ileao scowls as she begins adjusting eir IV.
“How do you feel?” she asks.
“Like shit,” Ileao huffs, and she laughs lightly.
“Yes, well, I’d expected as much. You were in a pretty nasty accident; you’re lucky to be alive.”
“Please don’t say that,” Alex chokes out.
“Oh, sorry,” the nurse says. She winks at Ileao. “Your husband was here all night, you know. You’ve got a keeper.”
“Bare minimum, I’d say,” Ileao boldly proclaims, but then ey frown. “Wait. Husband?”
“Yes! Yes, husband,” Alex hurriedly agrees. “Don’t you remember, honey?”
“Honey!?” Ileao spits out, and the nurse looks alarmed. Alex prepares to be kicked out, but then-
“Memory loss could be expected after the hit they took to the head,” the nurse mumbles to herself.
“Memory loss,” Alex says, nodding along. “Yes, that must be it.”
“Alex, tell this weirdo I don’t have memory loss,” Ileao groans. “I remember exactly what we ate for breakfast yesterday.”
“Ileao-” Alex stops mid-sentence. He freezes in place, knuckles going white as his hands clench around the edge of the metal chair’s seat. “You’re kidding, right?” he asks quietly. “You’re just playing along?”
“Playing along with what,” Ileao replies, visibly annoyed. “This whole husband thing? Hell no I’m not! Alex, I love you, but I’m not getting married right out of high school.”
“Oh gods,” Alex says, feeling rather faint himself.
“I’ll get the doctor,” says the nurse, and Ileao’s hospital room gets a whole lot busier.
☼☼☼
“Plenty of fluids,” says the doctor as Alex pushes Ileao’s wheelchair down the hallway. “They can take their medicine every 8 hours. They might not have an appetite at first, but they should try to eat if they can.”
“Got it,” Alex says.
“No lifting anything heavy, no strenuous activity. Taking them to your home may trigger the return of some memories, but don’t try to force anything. If it’s going to improve, it will with time.”
“Do I really need the damn wheelchair,” Ileao grumbles.
“Yes,” the doctor says. “Now sign this, and this…”
After signing far too many papers, Ileao is officially discharged from the hospital, and Alex pushes eir temporary wheelchair out to the parking lot before helping em (despite eir complaints) into his rental car. He makes sure to drive extra carefully on the way to the hotel.
The drive is mostly silent, at first. Ileao has eir arms crossed over eir chest, glaring at the dashboard.
“I can’t believe I missed it,” ey say angrily after a few minutes of this.
“Missed what?” Alex asks, secretly waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“Our whole entire marriage!” Ileao shouts, throwing eir hands up, and Alex swerves the car and curses under his breath.
“Good gods,” he says. “What- What do you mean?”
“I mean I don’t remember our fucking wedding, Einstein. Hey, did you get into Harvard? Are you a lawyer now?”
“Yes, I did. I am.”
“Nice. What do I do? Did I ever figure my shit out?”
“I-” Alex clears his throat. He doesn’t know. “Ileao, your memories will return with time. For now, just focus on recovering.”
“Lame,” Ileao says, and Alex can’t help but smile fondly. “Hey! What are you smilin’ about? Your spouse just beefed it on the freeway!”
Alex laughs, no longer used to Ileao’s blunt sense of humor. “You- I-” He shakes his head, still smiling. “I’m glad you’re okay, Ileao.”
He missed this. He missed it dearly.
☼☼☼
When they get to the hotel, Alex starts to fear the consequences of his actions.
“A hotel?” Ileao asks. “Don’t we have a house? Or, an apartment or something?”
Alex avoids eye contact as he strides up to the counter, checking in to the hotel. “It’s… complicated,” he says over his shoulder after a moment to think.
“How am I supposed to remember anything if I don’t have a familiar environment,” Ileao grumbles, and Alex grimaces as the receptionist hands him their keycard.
“Let’s take the elevator,” Alex says gently, guiding em in the right direction.
“I’m not an invalid, damn,” Ileao huffs.
“Good gods,” says Alex. “Don’t say that. It’s 2025.”
“That’s still pretty hard to believe, Alex. Can’t we compromise and say 2021?”
“If I could change the passage of time for you, Ileao, I would,” Alex says genuinely, and Ileao’s face softens.
“I’m not- It’s okay,” Ileao says quietly, looking away. “I know… This must be hard on you. More than it is on me, at least.”
“I don’t think that’s true,” Alex replies as they step into the elevator, “but I appreciate the empathy.”
“Alex. You’re being weird, I- Why are you acting like this?”
The walls of the elevator feel like they’re closing in around him as he answers, “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Yes you do,” Ileao insists, stepping closer. Alex stares resolutely at the floor indicator. “See, this, right now! You won’t even look at me. I thought we were married!”
“We are,” Alex lies.
“Then why are you acting like you hate me?”
“I could never hate you,” Alex says fiercely, abruptly turning to meet eir gaze, and ey startle back slightly. “I- I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be acting ‘weird.’ It’s just… difficult.”
“Okay,” Ileao says softly. “That’s okay. Do we still hold hands?”
“I should hope so, given that we’re married,” Alex chuckles tensely.
“Okay,” Ileao repeats, slipping eir hand into his, and Alex feels his body relaxing on muscle memory alone.
The elevator door opens, finally, and they step out into the hallway. Their room is Room 312, and- and Alex is realizing now that when he booked this room, he booked it for one person.
“Oh, right. Married,” Ileao says when ey see the singular bed in the room. Alex searches eir face for any sign of discomfort, but he can’t find any. Then again, Ileao’s always been hard to read. Ey’re never feeling what he expects em to be feeling.
“I’m going to get ice,” Alex says immediately, needing a moment alone. He finds the remote and tosses it to Ileao. “Why don’t you see what they’ve got in the way of entertainment?”
“Sure, distract me from your passionate affair with the ice machine,” Ileao says sarcastically, catching the remote and flopping onto the bed, and Alex shakes his head fondly as he steps out of the room, closing the door behind him.
Once alone, he takes one single, deep breath, and then he pulls out his phone.
“Where does Ileao live?” he texts Kevin.
“Why?” Kevin texts back.
“Please just tell me.”
“Dude, no. You need to get over em”
“We’re at a hotel together.”
He gets a phone call.
Alex starts toward the ice machine he saw on the way in, taking another calming breath before answering the phone. “What the hell, man?” Kevin asks immediately.
“It’s complicated,” Alex hisses into the tiny microphone. “Ey have retrograde amnesia, we’re at a hotel in Sunmount, ey think we’re married.”
“WHAT!?”
“Quiet!” Alex hushes him, quickly turning down the volume. “I need your help here, Kevin. Please.”
“Oh my gods… Okay, look. I don’t talk to em much anymore, I don’t really know a lot. Maybe you could call eir aunt? I’m pretty sure I never heard about a funeral or anything, so…”
Alex sighs, closing his eyes. Of course it couldn’t be easy. “Okay,” he says. “Thanks, I’ll call her.”
“Alex-”
“Sorry, very busy, have to go. Bye!”
He hangs up, putting his phone in his pocket only to realize he didn’t bring the ice bucket from the room. He sighs, turns around, and heads back, dialing what he remembers as Ileao’s aunt’s number on the way. She answers on the second ring.
“Alexander?” she asks, sounding surprised. Makes sense. She hasn’t heard from him in five years. He’s surprised she kept his number. “What’s going on?”
“Ileao was in an accident,” Alex says, foregoing his usual tact in favor of getting this interaction over with as soon as possible.
“What!? And ey still didn’t call me!?”
“Ey- Well, ey have retrograde amnesia. Ey don’t remember anything past high school graduation, it seems.”
“...Hmm. Well, it’s good to hear you two patched things up at some point. I’m glad ey have you during this time!”
“I… Yes. Yes, we- we’re married, actually.”
Alex pictures himself at the bottom of a very large hole, digging deeper and deeper.
“Ileao never tells me anything!” eir aunt screeches, and Alex winces, holding the phone a little farther away from his ear. “This won’t do- You should come visit. A familiar environment will help!”
Trying not to grind his teeth in simmering anger, Alex takes one more deep breath. “I’m sure our home would be better than yours,” he says, despite knowing full well that such a home does not exist.
“Oh, don’t you start now, we hear enough of this absurdity from Ileao emself. Just come over! It’ll be nice to see em again.”
Alex sighs. There’s really no avoiding it, he supposes.
“We’ll come over tomorrow morning.”
☼☼☼
The truth is this: Ileao’s family isn’t the nicest.
They never have been. For as long as Alex can remember, they’ve been living obscenely wealthy, holier-than-thou lifestyles and rubbing it in everyone else’s faces.
They liked Alex, of course. Thought he was a good influence on Ileao. Alex could tell that… stung, to Ileao. That they only approved of one of eir friends, and it was the one they thought could improve em.
But Ileao would never admit that—not even on eir death bed, Alex is sure. Ey always pretended like it didn’t bother em, eir family’s constant disapproval. The same way it didn’t bother em that all eir teachers thought ey were a spoiled brat destined to crash out in a fiery explosion of drugs and wasted money the second ey got out of high school. Alex used to have to reassure em that that wasn’t true, wouldn’t happen, not in a million years. Ileao made him promise that if ey ever started ‘crashing out,’ as the teachers said in not-so-hidden whispers, Alex would slap em. Knock some sense into em. Alex compromised and said he just wouldn’t let it get that far along in the first place.
Secretly, he thought that Ileao wouldn’t need his help. That ey were so afraid of being what everyone thought of em that ey’d never allow it to come to pass, even if a first glance at eir grades and hobbies said otherwise.
Secretly, really secretly, Alex thought that he was the one more liable to ‘crash out.’ That he was always just on the edge of losing it, flipping his lid and going off on everyone who had ever made Ileao think ey were destined for failure. Alex could see himself making that mistake one day, turning on all of their teachers and family members and making it clear how badly they’d fucked up, how poorly they’d called their shot.
But he still had that fear of Ileao being kicked out. He didn’t want to burn bridges on eir behalf, so he held his tongue, kept his temper in check.
Ileao’s family never got any nicer—not in the time before Alex left, at least. He wonders, briefly, if Ileao ever ‘crashed out’ without Alex around to stop em. But then he hates himself for it, hates himself for thinking like all of the assholes Ileao already had to deal with often enough already. Knows he’s only thinking like that because he wants em to have needed him like he so grievously needed em, back then.
Alex is fine, now. He lives a successful life. He achieved his dream of becoming a big-city lawyer, and he still feels the thrill of it every time he leaves the judge and jury speechless. He has friends, or a few of them, at least; he still keeps in touch with Kevin, and he’s made some solid friends out of his coworkers. He lives a full, happy life, tiring as it can be, and yet…
He still misses em.
He remembers how excited ey’d been, helping him apply to colleges. Remembers how good it had felt to tell em everything: his fears, his hopes, his dreams. Ey were always there for him, and he was always there for em, and it always felt so…
Right.
☼☼☼
Ileao agrees to go see eir family.
Ey and Alex slept in the same bed, and it wasn’t a big deal to em because it never has been. But it was a big deal to Alex because it’s been five years since that happened last, and Alex spent several minutes wondering if he was fake-sleeping well enough before Ileao huffed and whacked him on the shoulder and said “Come here, dumbass,” and then they were cuddling for the first time in five years and Alex was trying not to cry, and…
He rings the mansion’s doorbell.
“Ileao!” Aunt Bea calls out as soon as she opens the door. Ileao grimaces and forces it into a smile, and Aunt Bea claps her hands together with a tight grin. “Darling, it’s been so long!”
“It has?” Ileao asks, baffled, and Bea looks to Alex in confusion. Alex is just as confused as Ileao.
“Er- No, dear, it's just a figure of speech. Come in, come in!” Bea says, ushering them through the door.
The mansion looks as extravagant as ever. Ileao’s cousins, Zabrell and Hierodattyus, sit on the large, L-shaped sofa, one of them oozing confidence and the other sitting stiffly. Ileao’s Uncle Dave—who had always insisted, in vain, that ey call him Dad—stands near the door to the kitchen, yelling at a cook. He quickly stops when Aunt Bea hushes him sharply, and the entire family turns to face Ileao and Alex with wide, eerily amicable grins.
“Heyyyy,” Ileao says suspiciously. Ey stride into the living room and flop down on the couch, taking up a solid two and a half cushions, like ey own the place, and the family gapes in surprise.
“You really have forgotten everything,” Aunt Bea says, seeming awed by the realization.
“Oh, great, so something happened with you guys, too? Apparently I went and got fuckin’ married in the five years I can't remember, and now-”
“You don't remember getting married either,” Zabrell realizes. Xe looks at Alex with an expression he can't quite place, and he tries not to fidget under hir gaze. “Huh. Interesting.”
“Well, but I'm sure you remember the wedding,” Ileao says excitedly. “I didn't wanna ask Alex ‘cause I knew he’d get all sappy on me, but what was it like? Were there pigeons?”
“I think you mean doves,” Zabrell says dryly.
“I know what I said, Zabrell!”
“They weren't invited,” Alex butts in. Everyone in the room looks over at him in surprise, and Alex takes a moment to relish in the family’s offense. But then Ileao looks up at him with wide eyes.
“Really?” ey ask, voice soft and full of disbelief. “They- I mean- That's allowed?”
“It’s our wedding, not theirs,” Alex says with a shrug, and Ileao laughs while the family glares at Alex.
“Ha! Get fucked, Zabrell!” Ileao says between laughs, and Zabrel scowls before schooling hir face into a more neutral expression.
“Had we known you two went and pulled this little stunt-” xe begins, but Aunt Bea cuts hir off.
“Of course we knew,” Aunt Bea laughs fakely. “You’re so silly! Anyway, you must be starving, I know hotel food isn't the greatest!”
“I mean, it’s fine,” Ileao mumbles, mood flipping like a switch, and Alex frowns.
“Well, it’s surely not as good as your favorite: grilled cheese!”
Ileao’s eyes widen almost comically. “Wait, really? You never let me make grilled cheese!”
“We’re not just letting you make it, darling, we’ve had the cooks make it for you!”
“It’s eight in the morning,” Alex points out.
“What our darling wants, our darling gets!” Aunt Bea titters, and Alex frowns.
“Wow, thanks!” Ileao says with a grin. Ey leap off the couch—causing Alex to cry out in alarm—and rush to the dining room.
It’s silent, nothing but the sound of Ileao excitedly talking to the maid a room over.
“I know you're lying,” Aunt Bea says calmly, and Alex’s mouth goes dry.
“I'm sure I don't know what you mean,” he says.
“You're not married. I’d wager you haven't even spoken since you left in 2020,” says Aunt Bea with a chilly smile. Alex splutters, but then she adds, “You found out about the inheritance, too.”
“What?” Alex asks dumbly.
“The inheritance,” Uncle Dave says lowly, stalking closer. “When Boldrei died, she left it all to Ileao, with clauses for us only if we were taking care of em. Now that ey’re rich in eir own right, you want to get in on it, and-”
“Davomonius!” Aunt Bea hisses angrily.
Alex blinks.
“Ileao… inherited eir mother’s fortune,” Alex says slowly. “The fortune you all were living off of. And now-”
“Shut up!” Bea whispers. “Ey can’t know. If ey knew-”
“Ey wouldn't let you have a cent,” Alex finishes for her. “Well, good. Ey deserve to know. Ey-”
“If you tell em, ey’ll put the pieces together,” Zabrell warns him quietly. “Ey’ll know you only want em for the money, too.”
“But that’s not true.”
“Then why are you suddenly showing up for em, after five years?”
“I- I care about em…”
“And you think ey’re going to believe that, if ey learn about the inheritance?”
Alex swallows hard.
“What the hell are you all doing, gabbing about the damn weather!?” Ileao calls, poking eir head into the room. “Come eat, damn!”
“Coming, dear!” Aunt Bea coos, and Zabrell gives Alex a warning glare as Ileao leaves again.
“Do what you think is right,” xe says sweetly. “Just keep the consequences in mind.”
☼☼☼
The truth is this: it was never just a crush.
By the time they entered middle school, it was something like infatuation. By the time they graduated high-school, it was full-blown, undeniable love.
For a long time, Alex thought he needed Ileao like he needed air. Even after that phase passed, he still couldn't imagine life without em.
And then he left, and he didn't have to imagine. He lived it instead.
And it was… fine. It was fine, believe it or not. Alex loves his life. He just also loves Ileao, even after all these years. And seeing em again…
The truth fucking hurts.
☼☼☼
Ileao’s family sucks up to em like nobody’s business.
It’s almost painful to watch. They indulge eir every whim, from the ones they always should have to the ones they probably should have shut down. Ileao eats three meals of grilled cheese, gets gift after expensive gift, and listens to eir family complimenting everything from eir outfit to eir choice of extracurricular in high school. Alex wants to puke the entire time.
When they get back to the hotel, Ileao is completely silent.
“Are you okay?” Alex asks after a moment.
Ileao shakes eir head.
“Did you know I hate grilled cheese?” ey ask. “Because I didn't. But I guess my taste buds have changed, or whatever, because three meals of that was hell.”
“You used to love it,” Alex says weakly. “If you hated it, then why-”
“Oh, come on. When was the last time you remember them being nice to me? If they're gonna kiss up, I’m gonna let them, and when they finally tell me what they want, I’ll make a decision disregarding their stupid gifts and compliments and grilled cheese.”
Ileao sighs, pulling eir knees up to eir chest where ey sit on the bed. Alex crawls into bed next to em, silent to give em time to think.
“I just… I think it’s nice,” ey say, nearly a whisper. “Pretending they mean it, pretending it’s… I don't know. Real.”
The truth is this: Alex should tell em.
He doesn't.
“Well, I’m here for you no matter what,” he says instead, and the lie of omission feels heavy at the back of his throat.
“I know,” Ileao says after a silence that feels too long to Alex’s guilty ears. “I know, Alex. Love you.”
“I love you, too,” Alex says, and wishes ey knew how true it really was.
☼☼☼
Alex meets up with Kevin while Ileao goes out to dinner with eir family the next day. He hasn't seen the man in years, and his phone has been blowing up with message after message, so it’s only right that he eventually gives in.
“You’re kidding,” Kevin says when Alex walks into his apartment. “Tell me you're kidding and this was all an elaborate prank.”
“I’m not, and it isn't,” Alex sighs. He takes a seat at Kevin’s kitchen table, and he launches into a telling of the full story thus far. When he’s done, Kevin whistles and shakes his head.
“You are in deep,” he says critically, “and you're only digging yourself deeper.”
“I know,” Alex groans. “But you understand why I can't tell em, right?”
“Oh, boo hoo, gods forbid you ruin your relationship that hasn't even existed for the last five years.”
Alex grimaces. “Alright, that's fair.”
“It’s more than fair, Alex, it’s what ey’re owed. If you want to rekindle that relationship, then you need to start it out right. Not by lying, not by tricking em into a marriage with you.”
“Oh gods, when you put it like that…”
“Yeah.”
“But we haven't kissed or anything!”
“I don't care, Alex! It’s wrong.”
“You’re right,” Alex admits. “But I just… I still love em, so much.”
“Then do what’s best for em, and tell em the truth,” Kevin demands, “or I will.”
☼☼☼
The truth is this: Ileao was being irrational.
Ey wanted Alex to do something that would have hurt em in the long run. Ey got mad that he refused to burn bridges. Ey said ey wanted to be alone, and then ey didn't talk to him for weeks.
When it came time for Alex to leave for college, Ileao didn't come along like they'd always planned. Ey stayed silent through it all until they finally parted ways.
“We should delete each other’s numbers. I don't need a caretaker,” ey said.
“Fine,” said Alex.
“Good luck,” said Ileao.
☼☼☼
When Alex finally returns to the hotel, Ileao is waiting with a bundle of purple hyacinths. Alex’s favorite. Ileao’s, too.
“I don't know what I did to get you to want to marry me,” Ileao says. “But I’m sure glad I did it.”
Alex breaks down crying.
Ileao comforts him late into the night. The hyacinths begin to wilt, both of them too preoccupied to find them any water.
“You’re okay,” Ileao whispers. “We’re okay, Alex, I promise. You’re gonna be okay.”
“I know,” Alex sobs, “but will you?”
Ileao’s silent. When Alex finally looks up at em, eir expression is tense. But ey smile anyway.
“I don't need taking care of,” ey say brightly, and Alex can't tell if it's genuine or not. “We’re both going to be okay. I promise.”
Alex sniffs. “I have something to tell you,” he whispers.
“Okay,” says Ileao. “Tell me tomorrow.”
“I- Tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow. Tonight, we just rest. Okay?”
“Okay,” Alex echoes, and he falls asleep in eir arms.
☼☼☼
The next day, they try to have a casual morning, but both of them are tense. Ileao’s family calls to ask them to dinner, but Ileao rejects them. Instead, ey suggest to Alex that the two of them go out for lunch together, no family included.
Alex agrees, if only to be able to break the news to em in a public place. He knows Ileao would never hurt him, but ey could very well get angry, and Alex isn't looking forward to the guilt he’ll surely feel.
Ileao disappears from the hotel for a few hours and shows up again wearing a ridiculously frilly skirt and a multicolored shirt and jacket. Alex doesn't question it, too caught up in trying to figure out how he’ll say what he needs to say.
They get to the restaurant—one of their old favorites, and Alex really hopes this doesn't ruin the place for Ileao—and a host shows them to their table. Alex studies Ileao’s face like he’ll never get to see it again. He might not.
He waits until they've gotten their drinks. Ileao is sipping on an ungodly combination of sodas, and Alex is twirling his straw around the ice cubes in a Pepsi.
He decides to just say it.
“We aren’t married and your family’s sucking up to you because you inherited your mother’s fortune.”
“I know- Sorry, what?”
Alex freezes. Ileao stares at him with wide eyes.
“You knew… which part?” he asks nervously.
“I knew we weren't married, I remembered everything yesterday, I- What do you mean about my mom?”
“Did you not know she was-?”
“No, I knew she was dead, I just didn't know she’d left me anything! Fucking Beatricity and Davomonius not telling me fucking anything, of course they suddenly care about me after years of no contact, of course… you…”
Ileao swallows hard.
“You suddenly care about me after years of no contact.”
“No,” Alex says quickly. “Ileao, it's not like that.”
“Then what is it like?” Ileao asks weakly. “Because from here, it really seems like you took advantage of my memory loss to try to get at my mother’s money.”
“Ileao-”
“And here I thought you were playing house because you missed me or some shit. Here I was playing along because I missed you too, when in reality- In reality, you-”
“Ileao, please let me explain.”
“Let me guess,” Ileao says bitterly through eir slowly-falling tears. “You were just trying to do what’s best for me.”
“Fuck,” Alex chokes out. “Ileao, no, I- I love you! I wasn't trying to take advantage of you, I swear, I-”
“Then why did you lie!?” Ileao yells. Several of the other patrons turn to look in their direction, and Alex winces despite himself. “Oh, gods forbid I make a scene like I always do!”
“Please, Ileao, I’m sorry,” Alex pleads. “I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't mean to take advantage of you, I-”
“Fuck them and fuck you,” Ileao spits out as ey abruptly stand up. “I’m going to get my damn inheritance.”
☼☼☼
Alex sits in the rental car, feeling guilty and worried, and calls Kevin.
“I don’t know what to do,” he admits. “I don’t want em walking around town on eir own so soon after eir accident, and-”
“Isn’t half the problem that you don’t trust em to take care of emself?”
“I- What?”
“Alex. Don’t tell me you missed that part.”
“I… You think ey really believe that? That I don’t trust em?”
“Not when it comes to eir own well-being. You’ve always been weird about that, man. You don’t want em to burn bridges, you don’t want em to mess up eir grades, you don’t want em to walk across town on eir own. You’re missing the part where ey’re a grown adult and eir own person. I swear to the gods, wasn’t your whole fight about em not needing a caretaker, but needing a friend instead?”
“What? No, it was about… about em not realizing that I was working in eir best interests.”
“Alex. Buddy.”
☼☼☼
The real truth is this: Alex wasn’t listening.
He didn't stick up for Ileao when eir family was hurting em emotionally. He stood on the grounds of preserving eir relationship with eir family, and in the process ruined eir relationship with him. Ey said ey would rather be alone than with someone who wouldn't take eir side, and he said maybe ey should be alone then, if ey couldn't see what he was trying to do. And then they stopped talking. For weeks.
When it came time for Alex to leave for college, Ileao didn't come along like they'd always planned, because Alex didn't invite em. He thought he was acting in eir best interests, ensuring ey could stay with eir rich family rather than having to move to a shitty apartment in the big city with a guy ey didn't even like at the moment.
“We should delete each other’s numbers. I don't need a caretaker,” ey said.
“And I can't take care of you forever,” Alex replied.
Ileao’s face darkened. “Good.”
Alex nodded sharply. “Fine.”
“Good luck.”
☼☼☼
“Oh no,” Alex whispers. “Oh, no, I-”
“Alex… go to em, okay? Ey don’t need your help getting across town. Ey need your support in telling eir family to piss off.”
“I am a fool,” Alex says.
“Yeah, buddy, but you’re eir fool.”
Alex drives to Aunt Bea’s mansion, forcing himself to follow traffic laws with the rationalization that Ileao can’t walk faster than he can drive anyway. When Ileao arrives a few minutes after him, ey see his car and scowl, stomping up to the window as Alex rolls it down.
“Alexander Candleson, if you came here to make sure I arrived alive or whatever the fuck, I swear to the gods-”
“I came to yell at your family with you,” he blurts out. “And to let you yell at me. I’m sorry, Ileao. I wasn’t listening to you, I wasn’t giving you what you actually needed, and I wasn’t trusting you to know what you needed.”
Ileao stands speechless. Alex adds, “Also, I’m a lawyer. I can make sure they don’t get a single cent of that inheritance.”
“...Really? You won’t try to get us a ‘fair settlement’ or whatever the fuck? Because the lawyer I called on the way here said it was stupid to try to cut them out entirely, and-”
“Absolutely not,” Alex says. “From what they told me, Boldrei left the entire fortune to you, with clauses for them on the explicit basis that they were actively taking care of you. If you haven’t been living with them-”
“I went no-contact with them a little after you left,” Ileao says. “Blocked all their numbers and everything. They haven’t spoken to me in almost five years, let alone ‘taken care’ of me.”
“Then fuck that lawyer, and fuck them,” Alex says. “If you want them out, they’re out.”
Ileao stops, studying Alex’s face. Ey must find what ey wanted, because eventually ey nod and open the car door, holding out a hand for Alex to take.
“Well then, let’s go,” Ileao says. “If you mean that, then… prove it.”
“I intend to,” Alex confirms, taking eir hand, and they walk inside together.
☼☼☼
The truth is this: it started and ended with Zabrell. Xe was always pestering Ileao, poking and prodding at eir life decisions with no intention but to harshly judge. Alex saw it as a necessary evil to keep Ileao housed and maintain eir lifestyle. If Alex had known Ileao saw it as an actual reflection of eir personhood, maybe he would have stepped in. But he didn't.
The final fight was about something stupid: the way Ileao dressed, or the way ey did eir hair. “No one is ever going to take you seriously,” xe had said. “You only bagged Alex as a friend because he likes charity cases.”
“Wrong,” Ileao said plainly, but Alex noticed the way ey glanced at him as if for confirmation. He didn't say a word, and Zabrell continued.
“You don't even know the difference between right and wrong, morally or existentially. You're a hopeless delinquent living in a world of delusion.”
“Well that’s a bit rude,” Ileao said.
“Maybe so, but it’s true. I’m just trying to help you, Eel. If you would just act right, then-”
“I thought I didn’t know the difference between wrong and right.”
“You’re so childish! Alex, maybe you can get through to em.”
“What?” Alex asked, eyes wide.
“Tell em to listen,” Zabrell said slowly, like Alex was stupid. Alex felt stupid.
It was silent for too long. Zabrell opened hir mouth to complain, and Alex rushed to people-please.
“Ileao,” he said quickly, “shouldn’t you at least… consider it?”
Ileao’s expression darkened. “Consider what, Alex?”
“Changing,” he replied, and immediately regretted it.
For only a fraction of a second, Ileao looked completely crushed. But then ey covered it up with boundless fury. “And fuck you too,” ey said while Zabrell laughed in the background.
Later, Alex argued that he was doing it for em. He was, after all. But it wasn’t until long, long after that that he truly realized the extent of his mistake.
☼☼☼
Ileao freezes when ey see eir entire family present in the living room.
They appear to be relaxing, laughing together. They probably think they’ve got Ileao’s fortune in the bag. Ileao and Alex still haven’t been noticed.
Ileao glances between Zabrell and Alex, and Alex’s heart pangs. “Maybe… this was wrong of me,” Ileao says shakily. “I shouldn’t be so selfish, I wasn’t thinking, I-”
“You’re doing what you need to do,” Alex says quietly. “And I’m with you, all the way. You’ve got this.”
“...You promise?” Ileao asks, barely audible.
“I promise.”
The family has finally noticed them. Aunt Bea stands up from the couch immediately, hurrying over to greet them both.
“Ileao, Alex!” she says with an airy tone and fake smile. “You wanted to talk about something?”
“Yes,” Ileao says, but eir voice shakes again. “I- Um- Alex?”
“Ey’ve come to collect on the fortune that is rightfully eirs,” Alex says, putting his free hand on his hip while his other hand squeezes Ileao’s.
“You told em?” Uncle Dave hisses. “You imbecile! You know ey’re not going to share it with you now, right?”
“I don’t want it. I want Ileao to be happy.”
“Oh, I see,” says Zabrell, standing slowly. “You’re doing this not as eir husband, but as eir lawyer. You get a cut, don’t you?”
“I’m doing this pro bono,” Alex replies.
Zabrell sighs, shaking hir head as xe approaches. “Ileao… You’re making a huge mistake here. Alex is twisting your mind to get what he wants, to turn you against us, your own family! Shame on you, Alexander.”
Alex’s hand clenches around Ileao’s as his anger simmers right beneath the surface. He focuses on keeping his cool.
“But most importantly, Ileao, shame on you. You’re really going to believe him over your own flesh and blood?”
“Fuck you!” says Ileao. “I love him!”
That’s news to Alex. He blinks, cheeks flushing.
“Oh, Ileao,” Zabrell says pityingly, stepping closer still as xe switches gears. “You’re so naive. You’re doing this because you think he loves you back, aren’t you?”
Ileao shrinks back, eir hand limp in Alex’s. “Um. I-”
“You’re a loser who never even went to college, and you’re aiming for a big-shot lawyer from the big city,” Zabrell says. “He values academics, justice, and success. Why would he value you?”
Alex feels his eye twitching. He has to keep his cool.
“You’re just being mean,” Ileao says, sounding small, and Alex is so close to absolutely losing it. “And- And it doesn’t matter anyway. I’m here to talk about Mom’s will, and-”
“Oh, here you go again,” Zabrell says, rolling hir eyes. Xe turns to Alex. “Alex, you want the best for em, even if you don’t love em back, right? You don’t want em to lose contact with us. You want em to improve, to be the best version of emself! And to do that, ey simply must change.”
“Zabrell,” Alex says slowly, counting to ten in his head.
“Please, won’t you talk some sense into em? Tell our dear Ileao here how ridiculous ey’re being. Falling in love with a lawyer who would rather pretend ey don’t exist until money comes into play, cutting off eir only remaining family entirely. Ey’re punching above eir weight; ey’re trying to play at being worth something, and ey’re failing. Tell em that, won’t you, Alex?”
“No need,” Ileao whispers, eir hand dropping from Alex’s. Ey turn towards the door, eir eyes glued to the floorboards. “Just, forget it. I’m going home.”
And Alex realizes, very suddenly, that Ileao doesn’t want him to keep his cool.
Ey want him to blow. The fuck. Up.
Ileao opens the front door, preparing to leave. Alex clenches his empty hands into fists.
He lunges forward and decks Zabrell, his fist making perfect contact with hir jaw. It hurts his hand like hell—he’s hardly a fighter—but it’s worth it for the way Zabrell gasps in betrayal as xe stumbles back, the way Ileao whirls around with wide, disbelieving eyes.
The family is in uproar. Aunt Bea is fussing over Zabrell, who still looks like xe can’t quite comprehend what just happened. Uncle Dave is stomping over to Alex and Ileao while Hierodattyus watches smugly from the couch.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing!?” Uncle Dave roars, and Alex shakes out his fist and takes a deep breath.
“Standing up for the love of my life,” he replies. “Ileao has dealt with your bullshit for long enough. From now on, I won’t be complicit in your abuse. I never should have been to begin with, and for that, I am sorry, Ileao.” He glances back, seeing Ileao looking at him as if he hung the moon and stars. He blushes fiercely, looking away, but then he feels Ileao’s hand slipping back into his.
“We won’t be talking this out, actually,” Ileao says. “At least, not here. See you in court.”
“Why, you little-!” Uncle Dave lunges forward, and Alex and Ileao smoothly step back as one, leaving Dave to fall on his face.
“You,” Zabrell says slowly, face red with rage, “will regret this. You will come crawling back, sniveling for forgiveness, and we will turn you away.”
“Get fucked,” Ileao and Alex say in unison. They glance at each other and grin.
“I suggest you lawyer up,” Alex says. “Because we’re coming for every single falsely-inherited cent you’ve wrongly spent since Boldrei died. And if you don’t have it, you can say goodbye to this house.”
Aunt Bea’s eyes widen dramatically.
“Wha- Wait, hold on, now- Ileao, darling, you don’t mean this! He’s leading you astray, he’s- he’s-” She glances at Zabrell. “Alex doesn’t love you, dear, we love you! We’re your family!”
“Alex is more my family than you’ve ever been,” Ileao sneers. Ey turn up eir nose and spin around, pulling Alex with em. “Come on, Alex. We’re done here.”
Alex waves mockingly to the family as Ileao tugs him through the front door and out to his rental car. He opens the passenger-side door for em, ignoring the angry, desperate cries of eir family, and then walks around to sit in the driver’s seat.
Once the doors are closed and the windows up, Alex lets out a breath of relief.
“Did you mean all that?” Ileao asks quietly, and Alex glances over to where ey’re fiddling with eir fingers in eir lap.
“Ileao,” he says seriously, “I meant every word.”
“Even the part about me being the love of your life?” ey ask weakly.
Alex turns to fully face em and reaches out to take eir fidgeting hands in his. Ey relax just slightly at the touch, bolstering him on. “Yes,” he confirms. “It’s true. I love you, in the romantic sense of the word. I love your humor, and your cleverness, and your courage. You are everything Zabrell insists you aren’t. You are funny, and smart, and good, and your worth is beyond measure. I would give you the world if I could. I love you, Ileao.”
Ileao sniffs, eir eyes watering as ey stare at their joined hands. “I… You said you didn’t want to take care of me forever.”
“I am so sorry,” Alex says, his voice coming out choked. He clears his throat, his shame making him unable to look Ileao in the eyes. “I thought I knew what was best for you, and I never considered that maybe you knew better than I did. I exhausted myself by trying to be something you never wanted or needed from me. But if you’ll allow me to try again, Ileao… I want to be your best friend again. I want to be your husband, for real, one day. I want to prove to you that you are not a chore, and you never have been. You’re my friend, the love of my life, and I- I want to respect you the way you deserve.”
“I want that too,” Ileao whispers. “Really badly.”
“Good,” Alex says, slightly disbelieving of his luck. “I- Yes. Good. Thank the gods.”
Ileao laughs, shaking eir head. “You’re a goofball.”
“But I’m… your goofball?”
“Absolutely,” Ileao says. Ey lean over the center console, and Alex matches em beat for beat, anything to be closer to em. “I’m- Hey, can I-?”
“Yes,” Alex says immediately. “Please.”
When they kiss, it’s to the sound of eir family’s muffled yelling and banging on the windows. Ileao smiles against his lips, and he can’t help but laugh lightly, interrupting their first kiss with a sound of joy.
“Gods, I love you,” he says after pulling back.
“Good, because I love you, too.”
☼☼☼
Their case is airtight. Boldrei was very specific in her will, which she signed with several witnesses. The Novaks don’t have a chance in hell of disputing it, and Ileao walks away with a sizable fortune.
“I kind of don’t want to stay in Sunmount anymore,” ey say after the case has closed, after Zabrell and the rest of the family have given em a ridiculous amount of threatening glares.
“I could get you a restraining order against them,” Alex says, when what he really wants to say is ‘Come live with me.’
“Oh, yeah,” Ileao says, looking away. “Yeah, that’d be great.”
Alex decides now is not the time to hold himself back. “I have an apartment in Fehleviln,” he says quickly. “It’s- It only has the one bedroom, but we could size up. And I know it’s not what you’re used to, but-”
“Why do you think you’re not good enough for me?”
“What?” Alex chokes out.
“You’re always acting like you have to prove yourself, like you’re not good enough as you are. I love you, Alex, even and especially when you’re not trying to be lovable. You… know that, right?”
“I do now,” Alex says weakly, and Ileao smiles fondly, looking so smitten that even Alex can’t deny it.
“I’ll move in with you, if you’re offering,” ey say. “And I think you are.”
“I am.”
“Then it’s settled. I’m moving to Fehleviln!”
☼☼☼
The truth is this: they were always going to end up here.
They have a goodbye lunch with Kevin, and then, when Ileao is well enough to fly, they fly to Fehleviln. Alex’s apartment has grown dusty in his absence, but he and Ileao make a day out of cleaning it up. The first thing Ileao does to “move in” is buy absolutely abhorrent patterned curtains. Alex loves them.
Living with Ileao just feels right. They slot into place around each other perfectly, re-learning each other’s habits and routines. Alex returns to his job at the law firm, and Ileao continues eir apparently moderately-successful home business making homemade clothes, only now with much, much more expensive materials.
A year later, when Hierodattyus calls from an unknown number and asks to speak to Ileao, Alex almost hangs up.
But this is Ileao’s choice to make, not his. So he hands his phone to em.
After a brief, tense talk, Ileao hangs up and looks down at the phone in eir lap. Ey pause, and then say, “Do you want me to patch things up with her?”
“Not if you don’t want it,” Alex says right away. “She may not have been as horrible as Zabrell, but she still hurt you. You don’t have to talk to her again unless you really want to.”
Ileao looks relieved. “I’ll think about it,” ey say, and Alex smiles and reaches out to take eir hand and pull em off the couch. Ileao is wearing one of eir own creations, a beautiful frilly dress with too many layers, and the fabric fans out around em as ey stand.
“Dance with me,” Alex says.
“There’s no music,” ey laugh.
He grabs his phone and puts in the first song he can think of, some new pop song about love and change. Ileao raises an eyebrow, and Alex’s face flushes slightly as he sets the phone down on the coffee table. “Well?” he asks.
“Alright,” Ileao says. “I’ll dance.”
The truth is this: Alex loves Ileao with every part of himself, even the pieces he has yet to find or define. He can’t wait to grow with em, to change with em, to be with em for as long as ey’ll have him.
The truth is this: Despite Alex’s doubts, he knows that Ileao loves him, too. He knows it with the parts of himself he knows ey will help him uncover, and the parts of himself that have been there all along.
The truth is this: when they get married, it isn’t overly extravagant or opulent, and no one unwanted is invited. They’re surrounded by friends and people who care about them, people they care about in return. The decor is tasteful (in Ileao’s eyes) and beautifully unique (in Alex’s), and it absolutely screams them. They’re happy, more than ever, and they feel right at home with each other.
So, really, the truth is this: they’re together, and they’re happy, and they love each other. More than that, they trust each other and know they’ll each have the other’s back when push comes to shove.
Alex comes home from a long day of work and finds Ileao humming in front of the sewing machine. They watch something stupid on television while cuddling on the couch, and it’s silly and domestic and lovely and sweet. They head to bed late into the night, because it’s a weekend, but they still need rest.
Ileao snuggles up next to Alex in their bed, and Alex sighs contentedly.
The truth is this: Life was good, but now, life is better.
The truth doesn’t hurt anymore.
It heals.
THE END.