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“Mama!” a voice cried out as I leapt from the balcony, sprinting towards where the strange flash of light had appeared in the garden. I was trying to dry the sweat that had clung to me after one of my nightmares, escaping to the balcony for fresh air while Tamlin still slept a few rooms away. I had been stargazing, remembering how to breathe again when a shooting star hurtled towards the innermost garden of the Spring Court.
A small boy with dark hair and wings ran towards me when I reached where I thought the star had landed. I froze in confusion as the boy barrelled into me and hugged my knees, nuzzling them as he looked up.
“Mama, did you see? I was a star! It was scary, but I’m okay!” He said and I looked down. He frowned, his eyes filling with silver.
“Mama, are you mad at me? I know you said not to wander off, but it was calling to me and saying it could fulfill my wish.” The boy said.
I never interacted with the small children in the village much, too focused on survival. With hunger gnawing at me constantly, there were no thoughts of motherhood, of having another mouth to feed. Even with my wedding to Tamlin tomorrow… children should be a far off thought. So why then did I feel so drawn to this boy calling me mother?
“I… no… are you hurt? Did you hit your head? I can help you find your family.” I said and the boy shook his head.
“Silly Mama, you’re right here! The roses scratched me, but I’m very brave. They can be Illyrian battle scars! I will be as tough as Papa and Uncle Cas.” The boy said, spreading his wings and puffing up his chest as I noticed the tiny cuts on his chubby cheeks and arms that were thankfully not bleeding or red, simply a light pink, the barest of scratches.
“Why are you in this weird place anyway Mama? Did you hit your head? Or are you pretending not to know me, like a game?” The boy asked, cocking his head.
“This is the Spring Court, my home. And I’m sorry little one, but I do not know you.” I said apologetically, heart dropping as his face fell and he took a step back. I reached out a hand and he shook his head, squaring his shoulders,his wings pressed tight to his back as he bowed.
“I am Nyx, son of the High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court.” Nyx said and I stared at him in bewilderment, thoughts racing.
Was I dreaming? Was this a trick?
High Lord of the Night Court.That could only mean Rhysand, right?
Why would he have fought for a bargain with me if he had a wife and child at his court? Unless he wanted another? Or was that why he had not yet called in the bargain? Had he returned from under the mountain to find he had a child?
I had no idea how Fae pregnancies worked yet, not having it high on my list of things to find out about after being made, but…
There was only one way to find out and this poor child needed to be returned home.
“Did I do good, Mama? Just like you and Papa taught me to introduce myself?” Nyx asked and I gave an absent nod, taken aback by his dazzling smile.
I drew up my tattooed arm, staring at the strange eye on my palm and feeling slightly foolish.
“Rhysand. I need you.” I said, thankful Tamlin was either fast asleep or ignoring me for now. It stung that it was before our wedding and he had not checked on me after my nightmare or even now, but perhaps the wedding will be what will finally bury her and we can move on.
The eye blinked slowly and seemed to blur slightly as I scowled, waiting for any sign of Rhysand.
“Rhysand! You need to come here.” I huffed as Nyx giggled. I cast a glance at Nyx, wondering what he was laughing at.
“Papa’s in trouble. You only say his full name when you are really mad.” Nyx said in a sing-song voice as I gave a half smile.
I was indeed mad at the prick, and I wanted answers, now.
“Rhysand… I am not going to say please. If you don’t come here right now, I’ll-” I started to say before darkness appeared in a swirl before me and Rhysand stumbled out.
“You’ll what, Feyre Darling. I’m all… ears.” He slurred and I recoiled.
He was drunk? This was going to end poorly. Was his court really that miserable? Should I keep the child here?
“Papa! Ew, you smell. Did you have a contest with Uncle Cas again? Uncle Az said not to.” Nyx said as he ran over to hug Rhysand who squinted his eyes, swaying slightly in bewilderment before patting Nyx awkwardly on the head.
There was that name again, Uncle Cas. Did Rhysand have brothers?
“Something like that.” Rhysand said before falling on his ass, quickly trying to cover it up and crossing his legs on the grass.
“Papa’s feeling a little funny. Can you tell him what’s going on?” Rhysand said and my heart fluttered when I saw how tenderly Rhysand cupped Nyx’s cheeks, checking over the scratches.
At least he seemed good with children.
I crossed my arms, watching Rhysand carefully as Nyx huffed.
“Mama doesn’t know me! I think she’s under a spell! Mama and I were walking and looking at the art while you were talking about boring things with Lord Tarquin and I saw a pretty star and wished on it. Then I heard something calling my name and I touched a pretty glass rose and then I was here!” Nyx said as Rhysand’s gaze slid to me.
I was looking at art? Did I create again in the future? It gave me the slightest hint of hope and comfort that it wouldn’t always be like this.
“Is that so? And where is Mama?” Rhysand asked and Nyx threw up his hands before pointing to me which caused Rhysand to sputter and grow strangely flustered.
“I see… well… it’s late… we should go to sleep and everything will be better in the morning.” Rhysand said, scooping up Nyx, his own wings coming out to steady himself. Nyx pouted before sighing and snuggling into Rhysand and my heart ached fiercely for an unknown reason.
I watched as Rhysand gave me a sad smile before disappearing with Nyx in tow, leaving me alone under a starry sky with nothing but my thoughts and the cloying fragrance of roses.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
I hadn’t expected this. I had planned on getting exceedingly drunk tonight and tomorrow, on the day of the wedding of my mate and the male who was responsible for my mother and sister being gone, not watching over a child.
“Papa, I’m tired. No mind stuff.” The boy mumbled against my chest as I carried him in the townhouse, Azriel and Cassian sitting up.
Nyx… my son’s name is Nyx, from what I quickly gleaned from his mind along with what had occurred. This beautiful boy, a miraculous product of me and… Feyre… It was impossible and the hope in my chest was foolish, but here he was.
“Sorry, Nyxie. Papa had to make sure you weren’t under a spell either. You scared me.” I said as Nyx looked up at me with big beautiful blue eyes.
I loved him and would do whatever it takes to keep him safe and happy.
“Sorry… I disobeyed Mama. Are you mad at me? I know you said be careful, there’s bad people around, but it was calling to me.” Nyx said and I kissed his head, sitting in between Azriel and Cassian who stared at me.
“No, I’m not. Not if you tell me what you wished for.” I said, hoping it would give some sort of clue as to why he was from the future. I didn’t know what the consequences of him staying here would be, but I was damn sure that his father would be burning the world trying to get to him. I had to figure out how to send him back, even if it would pain me to do so. Perhaps the wish would be a clue.
“For you and Mama to be together forever and ever, duh! You are so happy and in love and I want a sister.” Nyx said as I choked on my tongue and started coughing.
“Rhysie, where did you get a child? I thought you were getting more… more… something when you disappeared.” Cassian slurred, poking Nyx’s chubby cheek as he giggled.
“Uncle Cas, you’re drunk! Did Papa win?” He asked and Cassian swayed next to me.
“Only because I let him.” Cassian said with a sloppy wink.
“Mama’s going to be mad, you two like to make a mess. Is that why she is taking so long?” Nyx asked and I sighed, not sure how to explain that she wouldn’t be coming here.
“She… is going to stay at the Spring Court tonight.” I said, my heart a gaping wound as Nyx’s face fell.
“But she always tucks me in and kisses me goodnight with you after we have story time and practice flying. I don’t even have TamTam!” Nyx exclaimed, tears wobbling in his eyes as he flapped his tiny wings furiously while I made another undignified noise.
“TamTam?” Azriel asked as Nyx nodded gravely.
“Uncle Az, you should know TamTam! It’s the big soft golden deer Papa said was so ugly it had to be TamTam! You sewed it back together after I um… accidentally misted it.” Nyx said as Cassian burst into laughter, nearly drunkenly falling off the couch as Azriel made a grim face and nodded.
“My mistake. I can find you a replacement.” Azriel said, quietly sending out his shadows as Nyx fell forward into my chest with a groan.
“This is awful. Everything is so weird.” Nyx said and I couldn’t help but agree.
“Things will be better in the morning.” I lied, closing my eyes and wondering how I was ever going to survive this.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
Morning would not solve everything, for I had not slept since they departed. I had too many questions and I was already on edge with the wedding.
I needed answers.
While I had a few hours before getting ready for the ceremony, it was not enough time to trap the Suriel. But there was another who could perhaps give me answers. I asked Alis to summon Lucien to my room and bring tea. I needed at least something to calm my nerves. Lucien arrived almost immediately in a panic, kneeling before me. I patted his hand and weakly gestured for him to sit and enjoy the tea, wondering how to phrase my questions.
“Lucien, tell me how Fae pregnancies work.” I said as Lucien choked on the tea he had raised to his lips.
“I… you and Tamlin… truly this union is Cauldron Blessed if it has happened this quickly after you were made. Younglings are rare and it takes many years for most couples to conceive.” Lucien said as I grimaced.
“No… I… there was a boy last night and-” I started to say before a commotion arose outside.
“You are not welcome here, High Lord of the Night Court.” I heard Ianthe say outside as my blood ran cold, Lucien sharing a wide look with me before standing and ripping open the door, fire at his fingertips that faltered when he saw Nyx.
“Uncle Lucien! Tell this lady I want to see Mama! She didn’t come home last night and I miss her! She didn’t give me my good night or good morning kiss.” Nyx said as Ianthe looked taken aback. Nyx spied me from around Lucien as he froze and ran over to me.
“Mama! Are you really that mad? You didn’t come home. I’m sorry.” Nyx said, climbing into my lap and looking so crestfallen that I had to hold him.
“It’s complicated, Sweetheart.” I said as Nyx must have seen my wedding dress over my shoulder.
“That’s not your dress, is it, Mama? It looks like a cupcake.” Nyx said as I coughed.
I guess I wasn’t the only one that thought so.
“What is the meaning of this, Rhysand? I will summon Tamlin this instance.” Lucien snarled as Ianthe shot Rhysand a smug look.
“No need. Why are you here? You are not invited to the wedding, Rhysand, so I suggest you leave.” Tamlin growled, appearing behind Rhysand who rolled his eyes and brushed a piece of invisible lint off of his suit from where Tamlin stood.
“Why is everyone so upset?” Nyx whispered, pressing into me as I unconsciously soothed a hand down his back.
“I’ve come to collect on the bargain. Feyre and I have much to discuss.” Rhysand said and I shifted in my seat uneasily, heart pounding. This could only end in disaster.
“Why now, of all days? You truly are a prick.” I spat as Nyx looked at me with wide eyes.
“Seeing as you have our child on your lap, it seems a little prudent. Nyxie would not hear of you marrying another and demanded I take him here. I was inclined to agree, as we have a very smart son.” Rhysand drawled with a little smirk.
“Mama, don’t be mad, but I don’t want to play this game anymore. You love Papa. You tell me all the time. You have a pretty ring from him and you are High Lady! You are mates!” Nyx said and everyone aside from Rhysand recoiled.
“Controlling a child’s mind to spread your filth and lies? You truly are despicable.” Tamlin sneered as Rhysand rolled his eyes.
“I have not or will not do such a thing. What he says is true. He is from the future.” Rhysand said as my head hurt.
There was no such thing as a High Lady. Nyx must be mistaken.
“The Mother would not do such a thing. But if this child is truly Cauldron Blessed, he must go to the temple.” Ianthe tried to say before cowering as Rhysand sent her a dark look.
“You will not lay a single finger on my son.” He snarled, causing me to instinctively hold Nyx tight.
“Do not threaten her in my home or at all. Leave, and take the child with you.” Tamlin said as Lucien’s metal eye whirled, when he focused on Nyx.
“There is a strange magic around him. But not from Rhysand.” Lucien muttered, half to himself.
“I don’t care. Leave or I will force you.” Tamlin growled, his claws emerging as he advanced on Rhys and Nyx cried out, a bright light flashing from his palm, horns and a tail growing from him as his canine sharpened and he growled.
“Leave Papa alone!” Nyx snarled as Rhys gave him a soft smile and everyone else froze.
“Of course you would give birth to a monster.” Tamlin spat and a rage filled me before dread, dread as I saw the bleeding cut at Rhys’ throat from Tamlin’s claws.
Red. Red. RED!
Red like those poor faeries. Red like her. Red like my hands would be forever stained.
I couldn’t breathe. My vision swam. How could I touch an innocent child with these filthy hands? How could I marry?
I needed-
“Mama, it’s okay! Deep breaths!” Nyx said, squeezing my cheeks and doing exaggerated breathing as Tamlin stepped near me and I let out a shrill laugh of fear.
Feyre, breathe, Darling. Look. It’s gone. You are not there. This is all real. What can you see?
I dragged my gaze to Rhys, trying to focus, blinking when I saw all the blood gone and the cut healed.
I see… nothing…
No? Not a devastatingly beautiful High Lord?
Prick. Get out of my mind.
There’s my girl.
Rhysand offered me a smile as Tamlin reached out a hand to place on my shoulder. I shrugged him off with an apologetic smile.
“I’m fine. But could we… could we move the wedding?” I asked and Tamlin’s face twisted.
“The guests are already here. Please. It will be a great symbol to our people, one of the rebirth of Spring and we can put this all behind us.” Tamlin said and Ianthe nodded.
“I have done extensive prayer for this day. It must be done or it will be for naught.” Ianthe said and my heart sank.
Did I not get a choice in this? Was I to be a prisoner again? Trading a dark rotting cell for cloying thorns and roses?
“Tamlin…” Lucien started and Tamlin silenced him with a baring of his teeth before advancing on Rhysand.
“You have ruined everything yet again and you will pay.” Tamlin spat, shifting into his golden beast as he swiped a massive paw at Rhysand, splintering the wall as Rhysand disappeared and reappeared behind me and I was…
I was done… I couldn’t do this.
“Feyre, move.” Tamlin growled through his fangs as I stood, Nyx on my hip and Rhysand at my side.
“No Tamlin. I’m leaving, of my own free will. If you can’t respect my wishes, then I do not know how I ever loved you. I was a huntress once. I will not be weak and feeble ever again.” I said, backing into Rhys.
“No! He has tricked you!” Tamlin roared as Rhysand wrapped an arm around us and tutted, pulling us away as Tamlin tried to grab us.
But it was too late, for we were already gone.
I looked around the beautiful palace atop the mountain, feeling at peace for the first time in a long while as Nyx clung to me. It was nothing like I imagined, but I felt inexplicably drawn to this place. Rhys stepped back, looking at me with wary eyes before smiling and bowing slightly.
“Welcome to the Night Court, Feyre Darling.” Rhys said and I smiled before gasping as Nyx began to glow and shimmer in my arms.
“No!” I cried out as he began to disappear, Rhys quickly walking to us and putting his hands on my shoulders to brace me as tears began to slip down my cheeks. Nyx gave me a beautiful smile before finally disappearing and I wept in Rhys’ arms.
“It’s alright, Darling. He’s home now, and so are you. I think he got his wish.” Rhys said as I sniffled and looked up at him. He carefully brushed my cheeks, wiping the tears away.
How can I so miss someone I’ve barely even met? What happens now?
Nyx said we were mates. Is that true? Could I learn to love Rhys? Was this truly my home?
“What was his wish?” My voice warbling.
“For us to be together forever and ever.” Rhys whispered, leaning in close to me and simply brushing our noses together, the action making my face heat. After everything he did with me under the mountain, this felt the most intimate and I found myself wanting more, craving this easy comfort. I had been alone for so long.
What would it be like to truly have a family? To have a best friend? To let the new me try?
To be better. To create again. To protect.
“Oh… and to have a little sister.” Rhysand teased with a smirk and I slapped his chest lightly with a smirk of my own, willing to give this infuriating prick a chance.
Who knows?
We might make a great kid together.