Work Text:
Tenko’s head was filled with noise. The thoughts were so loud it almost hurt to breathe. Was it really that hard to say even one word to her? She knew it wasn’t okay to feel jealous, but there she was, sitting in her dorm with her legs shaking and mascara smudged.
Himiko had started ignoring her completely about a week ago. Before, at least she’d say a word or two, but now it was nothing but silence. She wouldn’t even look at her anymore.
Was Angie really that good of a friend? Did she care about Himiko the way Tenko did? Maybe she did. Maybe she was everything Tenko wasn’t. But still, it wasn’t fair.
Tenko took a deep breath and pushed herself off the bed. Her reflection in the mirror looked worse than she expected. She grabbed a tissue and wiped her face, trying to make it look like she hadn’t just been crying.
Dinner was soon anyway. Kirumi always made sure everyone showed up, and Tenko didn’t really have the energy to argue. Maybe some food would help. Maybe seeing everyone would remind her there were still other things to care about.
She straightened her uniform and left the dorm. The hallways were loud as always, which was almost comforting.
The dining hall was already full when she got there. Her classmates were scattered around the tables, and right in the middle sat Himiko, talking quietly with Angie. Tenko froze for a second, pretending to look for a seat while her chest tightened again.
She spotted Miu and Kaede sitting next to each other. That was strange, she thought. But everything was better than sitting next to a degenerate male. She walked over to them.
“Can I sit with you?”
Miu looked at her with annoyance.
“N-”
“Yes!” Kaede said quickly with a bright smile, and Miu rolled her eyes.
“Kaediot, why are we letting a lesbian freak sit next to us? What if she makes us sick too?”
Tenko was too tired to even respond to Miu. Kaede looked at the girl sitting next to her.
“Miu, I- whatever.”
Tenko stayed standing awkwardly.
“S-so..?”
“Sit,” Miu said without even looking at her.
Tenko nodded and sat down. The food hadn’t been served yet.
“Tenko, you look tired. Is everything alright?” Kaede asked softly.
Was it really that obvious?
“Yes,” she said quickly. “I’m good as hell.”
Kaede still looked worried but decided not to ask any more questions.
When Kirumi finally served the food, Tenko couldn’t even touch it. She felt sick and wanted to throw up. She kept glancing at Himiko and Angie. They were eating together and smiling like they had no care in the world.
Tenko suddenly stood up and left the room. On her way back to her dorm, all she could hear was Himiko’s laughter echoing in her head.
It was already late when Tenko heard a knock on her door. She was half asleep.
“Can you open these fucking doors, you moron?!”
That voice. It was Miu.
Tenko groaned, stood up, and opened the door.
“Miu? What are you doing here?”
“I wanna talk to you, titless bitch.”
Tenko sighed and let her in.
“What happened?”
Miu hesitated for a second before speaking.
“Okay so I know you’re all into that crap, right? Like, you and that red-haired bitch. And l-listen, K- Ka-"
“Woah, what do you mean? Miu, speak clearly.”
“Okay, so you’re fucking, right?!”
“What?”
“You and H-Himiko?”
“AHHH! Don’t ever say that again!” Tenko’s face turned red. “We’re not… we’re not even talking.”
“O-oh.”
Tenko looked away and sighed.
“Okay, but what’s the reason you came to my dorm this late?”
“I-i… ugh, it’s so fucking hard to say this…”
“Go on, it’s okay.”
“You like chicks, right?”
“M-me?!” Tenko’s face went even redder.
“Don’t fucking play with me right now, I know you do!”
Tenko nodded shyly.
“Ha! Okay, so I…”
“You what?”
“Damn it! I thought I was straight, you know? Like I don’t know a ruler or whatever. But then K-Kaede started to actually talk to me and boom! I’m not! It’s all that idiot’s fault!”
“Is it really bad that you like her?”
“I DON’T like her!”
“You just said you did.”
“I-I’ve got the hots for her… Her tits aren’t that bad, actually…”
“And you want me to help you?”
“Fuck no! I’m a gorgeous girl genius, she’s already in love with me, I know it!”
“Miu, stop acting for once, please.”
“A-acting? You accuse me of acting?”
Tenko nodded.
“I am n-"
“You are. Just tell me the truth.”
Miu sighed.
“She’s on my mind all the fucking time and I don’t know what to do. Kaede hates me, I know it. And she’s always with that damn emo boy who’s probably jerking off to her picture.”
“I- well, okay… but Kaede doesn’t hate you.”
“Yeah, tell her that! We even got into a fight after you left. She said I was being ‘homophobic.’ What does that even mean?”
“It means you were hating on people who love someone of the same gender.”
“O-oh.”
There was a silence for a few seconds.
„But then she left and went to Shuichi, can you imagine that?!”
“She was probably just mad.”
“I don’t know. I’m just sure she’ll never like me as much as I like her.”
“Miu, you just have to tell her how you feel! She’s literally the most accepting person ever. Even if she doesn’t like you back, you’ll still be friends. So do it before it’s too late. It’s already too late for me.”
“Huh?”
“Himiko… she doesn’t even look at me anymore. She’s been ignoring me for a week now, and she’s always hanging out with Angie.”
“Oh, that fucking slut! Screw her, Tenko! You’ve got way better options than that titless bitch.”
“It’s just hard, you know…” Her eyes started to water.
“Okay, I’ve got an idea. Tomorrow we’ll kiss in front of Kaede and Himiko to make them jealous! Booyah, I’m a damn mastermind!”
“B-but… I’ve never kissed anyone before.”
“O-oh… me neither.”
“Seriously?”
“Forget it, you slut, I’m going home!”
“N-no, I mean we can… but it’ll feel like cheating to me.”
“Yeah, i don’t care. It’s settled. Me and you. Tomorrow’s breakfast.”
Miu stormed out of Tenko’s dorm. The whole visit was unexpected, but maybe they could help each other. Maybe it was the only thing that would finally make Himiko notice her.
Tenko woke up with a smile on her face. She brushed her teeth, washed her face, and even did heavier makeup than usual. She got dressed and practically ran to the cafeteria.
Miu was already there, sitting alone this time. There was still no sight of Himiko or Angie, but Kaede was talking to Shuichi. That must’ve hurt Miu too.
Tenko sat down next to her and smiled.
“You alright?”
“The fuck I am. You?”
“I don’t know… I just hope it works.”
“Y-yeah…” Miu smiled a little.
They sat in silence for about ten minutes before Angie walked in with Himiko on her back. Tenko almost spit out her water.
“Y-you think they’re together?”
“Oh, shut up, Tenko. They’re not. And we’ll both prove that today.”
“Okay…”
“Let’s fucking go!”
Tenko sighed and looked away.
It’s just a kiss… she told herself.
Tenko’s heart was racing. Her palms were sweaty and her mind was a mess. She looked around the cafeteria. Most of the class was already there, chatting like nothing was happening. But her stomach was twisting.
Then she saw them again. Himiko and Angie sat down across the room, still laughing. Tenko’s throat went dry.
“Now or never, cowtits,” Miu whispered with a smirk, flipping her hair dramatically.
“Miu, I don’t think-"
“Shut it and trust the genius.”
Before Tenko could say anything else, Miu leaned forward and grabbed her face. For a second, Tenko froze. The cafeteria went quiet, or maybe it just felt that way. Then Miu kissed her a little too hard.
Tenko’s eyes widened, but she didn’t pull away. She didn’t even move. Her brain completely shut down.
It wasn’t what she imagined her first kiss would be like. It didn’t feel romantic, or soft, or magical. It just felt confusing.
When Miu finally pulled away, she grinned. “Ha! That’ll show them.”
Tenko blinked, still processing what just happened.
The room had gone awkwardly silent. Kaede had stopped mid-sentence, staring with wide eyes. Shuichi looked like he wanted to disappear. And across the room Himiko was frozen with her chopsticks halfway to her mouth.
Angie whispered something to her, but Himiko didn’t react. She just stood up abruptly, muttered something under her breath, and left the cafeteria.
Tenko’s chest tightened so hard she thought she might actually pass out.
Miu smiled smugly. “See? It worked.”
Tenko turned to her, voice shaking. “You call that working? She left.”
“Yeah, to cry over you, duh.”
Tenko groaned and buried her face in her hands. “You’re i-impossible.”
Miu laughed. “You’re welcome.”
Kaede suddenly stood up and walked toward them. Miu’s smirk disappeared instantly.
“Seriously, Miu?” Kaede said, arms crossed. “What was that supposed to be?”
“Uhhh… kissing?” Miu grinned nervously.
Kaede sighed. “I didn’t know you like girls. Especially after our argument.”
“I-I was… uh… just helping Tenko…”
Tenko looked down, embarrassed.
Kaede looked between them and frowned. “You both need to talk to the people you actually care about. Not drag each other into whatever this was.”
With that, she walked away.
Miu pouted. “She hates me even more.”
Tenko sighed. “Don’t say that.”
Miu slumped down in her seat, crossing her arms. “Well, that went fucking great,” she muttered under her breath.
Tenko glanced toward the door Himiko had disappeared through. Her stomach still hurt. She couldn’t even taste the breakfast anymore not that she’d eaten much in the first place.
“I think I need to go talk to her,” Tenko said quietly.
“Now?” Miu frowned. “She’s probably crying or plotting your murder. Or both.”
“I don’t care.”
Tenko stood up, ignoring the stares from a few classmates who were still whispering about the kiss. She didn’t even look back at Miu. Her legs felt weak, but she kept walking.
By the time she reached the hallway, it was empty. She checked the classrooms one by one until she found the door to the art room slightly open.
She peeked inside.
Himiko was sitting on the floor by the window, knees pulled to her chest, looking out with that same blank expression. Angie was nowhere to be seen.
“Himiko?” Tenko said softly.
No answer.
Tenko stepped inside and closed the door behind her. “Can we talk?”
Himiko didn’t turn around. “You already said everything you needed to.”
“That’s not true.”
“It looked pretty true to me,” she said, her voice quiet but sharp. “You kissed her in front of everyone.”
“I didn’t mean to!” Tenko’s voice cracked. “She just.. she grabbed me, and I didn’t even know what was happening until-"
“Until you decided to keep going?”
Tenko froze.
Her throat felt tight again, like she couldn’t breathe. “I didn’t keep going. I just… I froze, okay? I didn’t even know what to do. Why do you even care? I’m sorry.”
Himiko finally turned to face her. Her eyes were red, and it made Tenko’s heart twist even more.
“And why do you care what I think?” Himiko asked quietly. “You’ve been acting weird for days.”
“Because you’ve been ignoring me!” Tenko shouted before she could stop herself. “You stopped talking to me, you stopped even looking at me! I didn’t know what I did wrong!”
Himiko blinked, taken aback.
“I thought we were friends,” Tenko continued, her voice shaking. “And then you started hanging out with Angie all the time and pretending I didn’t exist.”
Himiko looked down. “I wasn’t pretending.”
“Then what were you doing?”
There was a long silence. Himiko fidgeted with the edge of her sleeve before whispering, “Trying not to say something stupid.”
Tenko tilted her head. “Like what?”
Himiko just sighed “forget it.”
“Why are you asking me to forget after we finally talked after this whole damn time!”
“I hate you Tenko.”
Tenko froze.
It felt like someone just punched her straight in the chest.
“What…?” her voice came out small, shaky.
Himiko didn’t look up. Her hands were clenched into fists. “I said I hate you.”
Tenko laughed a little not because it was funny, but because it hurt so much it felt unreal. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do.”
“You don’t,” Tenko said louder this time, her voice cracking. “You can’t just.. say that like it’s nothing.”
Himiko’s eyes flashed up to her. “You don’t get it! You don’t get how- how annoying you are! You always have to talk, always have to help oh my god it pisses me off! And then you go around letting people kiss you like it doesn’t mean anything!”
“That’s not fair!” Tenko shouted. “You don’t even know what happened!”
“I don’t care what happened!” Himiko snapped, her voice breaking. “All I saw was you and her. And you didn’t stop her.”
Tenko’s chest tightened so hard she could barely breathe. “Himiko I didn’t know what to do!”
Himiko looked away again, her voice quiet. “That’s what I mean. You never know what to do.”
Tenko’s hands curled into fists. “Then tell me what I’m supposed to do!”
The room went silent.
Himiko didn’t answer. She just kept staring at the floor, her bangs covering her face.
Tenko took a shaky breath and stepped closer. “Do you really hate me?” she asked quietly.
Himiko didn’t look up. “I don’t know,” she whispered.
That hurt even more.
Tenko stood there for a few seconds, then turned around and walked to the door. “Fine,” she said, her voice low. “But for someone who doesn’t care, you sure act like you do.”
She left before Himiko could respond.
Outside, the hallway felt colder than usual. Tenko leaned against the wall, trying to keep herself from crying again, but it was no use. Her throat burned, and the tears came anyway.
She slid down to the floor, hugging her knees to her chest.
She didn’t know what was worse Himiko saying she hated her, or the fact that a part of her almost believed it.
Tenko left, and the door closed with a soft click.
Himiko stayed sitting there, staring at the floor. Her chest felt heavy. She wanted to be angry, but mostly she just felt… stupid.
The sound of footsteps outside made her flinch, but it wasn’t Tenko this time. The door opened again but just a little.
“Hey… you okay?”
It was Kaede. She peeked in with a cup of tea.
Himiko quickly wiped her eyes. “I’m fine.”
Kaede smiled softly and came in anyway. “You don’t look fine.”
Himiko didn’t answer. Kaede sat down next to her, handing her the cup. “Here. Kirumi said chamomile helps.”
Himiko took it quietly, her fingers trembling. “Thanks.”
For a moment, neither of them spoke. The late morning light spilled across the floor, quiet and soft.
Then Kaede sighed. “You know, I just had a fight with Miu again.”
Himiko glanced at her. “Again?”
Kaede laughed dryly. “Yeah. She kissed Tenko this morning you probably saw.”
Himiko’s grip tightened around the cup. “Yeah.”
Kaede looked at the window. “She said it was to try how a girl tastes or something.”
Himiko frowned. “Why does she always do that?”
“Because she’s scared,” Kaede said quietly.
That caught Himiko off guard. “Scared?”
“Yeah,” Kaede said with a small smile. “She hides it with all that loud, crazy stuff, but… I think she’s just scared people won’t actually like her if she’s serious.”
There was a small pause.
Then a voice echoed from the hallway. “Are you seriously talking shit about me again, Kaediot?”
Kaede turned around as Miu stormed into the room, arms crossed and eyes full of attitude. “You really love gossiping, huh?”
Kaede sighed. “Miu, I was just-”
“Just what? Telling the little witch here that I’m a coward?”
Himiko looked between them awkwardly. “Uhhh, I should-“
“Sit down,” Miu said, glaring at Kaede. “Let’s hear what the perfect girl has to say.”
Kaede stayed calm, which somehow made Miu even angrier. “You don’t have to act like this, you know.”
“Act like what?”
“Like you don’t care.”
Miu froze for half a second. Her smirk faltered.
Kaede stood up slowly, walking over until they were face to face. “You pretend you’re untouchable, but you’re not. And you don’t have to be.”
Miu blinked a few times, her voice suddenly smaller. “W-what the hell are you talking about?”
Kaede smiled softly. “You’re not as scary as you think, Miu.”
For once, Miu didn’t say anything smart. She just looked down, biting her lip, her face turning slightly pink.
Himiko stood up quietly. “I’ll… leave you two to talk,” she mumbled, slipping out of the room.
When the door closed, Kaede gently said, “Miu, I know you’re trying, okay? You don’t have to fake everything.”
Miu looked at her for a long moment, then suddenly muttered, “You’re really annoying sometimes.”
Kaede laughed softly. “You’ve said that before.”
Miu clenched her fists, still refusing to look at Kaede.
“Why do you always have to be so damn perfect?!” she suddenly shouted, her voice cracking. “Everyone likes you, everyone trusts you, even when you screw up they’re like, ‘Oh, Kaede’s just trying her best!’ It’s so pathetic!”
Kaede took a small step back, startled by the sudden outburst.
“Miu… I’m not trying to be perfect.”
“YES, YOU ARE!” Miu snapped. Her eyes were glossy, angry and trembling all at once. “You walk around like you’ve got everything figured out, like you’re so calm and mature, but I see it. I see how you fall apart when someone actually calls you out. You just hide it better than the rest of us!”
Kaede opened her mouth, but no words came out.
“You know what’s the worst part?” Miu continued, her voice shaking now. “I can’t even hate you properly, because every time you smile, it feels like.. like I’m the worst person alive.”
Kaede looked down, her throat tight. “Miu, I’m not your enemy.”
Miu laughed bitterly. “Could’ve fooled me.”
The silence that followed was sharp. Kaede swallowed hard, trying to steady her breathing. “You don’t have to tear me down just because you’re scared,” she said softly.
“I’m not scared,” Miu muttered, though her voice was barely more than a whisper.
“Yes, you are,” Kaede said gently. “And it’s okay.”
Miu finally looked up and that tiny bit of kindness in Kaede’s eyes just made her snap.
“Stop saying that! Stop acting like you understand me! You don’t! You just- you just look at me like I’m broken or something!”
Kaede shook her head, stepping closer. “I don’t think you’re broken. I just think you’re-“
“What, hurt? Misunderstood? Don’t you dare psychoanalyze me, you wannabe saint!”
“Miu, I’m not trying to-”
“Yes, you are!” Miu cut her off again, her voice rising. “You’re always trying to fix people! Maybe that makes you feel better, huh? Maybe that’s your thing the perfect Kaede Akamatsu, saving all the messed-up idiots around her!”
That one hit too deep. Kaede’s chest tightened, her eyes stinging. “That’s not fair,” she whispered.
Miu froze. The sound of Kaede’s voice cracking caught her off guard.
Kaede’s lip trembled as she tried to smile. “You think I don’t break too? I try so hard because if I stop even for a second I feel like everything’s going to fall apart.”
Miu’s expression faltered completely. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.
Kaede turned away, her voice smaller now. “You can hate me if you want, Miu. I just… I didn’t want to hate you back.”
That was when the tears finally fell. Kaede tried to wipe them away quickly, embarrassed, but her hands were shaking.
Miu froze where she stood, staring at her. For once, she didn’t have anything to say.
She just whispered, “...Shit.”
Kaede laughed weakly through the tears. “Yeah. That about sums it up.”
Miu hesitated for a moment, then mumbled, “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“I know,” Kaede said quietly.
Miu looked at her again, unsure what to do. Her usual smirk was gone, replaced with something almost vulnerable. “You’re so fucking annoying,” she muttered.
Kaede sniffled, smiling a little through the tears. “You’ve said that before.”
Miu sighed. “Yeah, well… I meant it less this time.”
“I just… I didn’t know what else to do. I thought if I pissed you off, I wouldn’t” she stopped herself, biting her lip.
“Wouldn’t what?” Kaede asked softly.
Miu looked away, her voice small for once. “Wouldn’t feel so much.”
That silence after felt heavier than anything. Kaede just stared at her for a long moment not angry anymore, just sad.
“You think feelings are something you can just turn off?” she said quietly.
Miu shrugged, but her eyes glistened. “They should be. They just screw everything up.”
Kaede took a hesitant step closer. “You’re not a bad person, Miu. You just… say things before you think.”
That somehow made Miu feel even worse. Her voice broke a little when she said, “Stop being so nice to me. It makes me feel like crap.”
Kaede let out a soft, tired laugh through her tears. “Good,” she whispered. “Maybe now we’re even.”
Miu’s lip trembled. She wanted to say something to make it better, to take back every sharp word but all she could manage was a weak, “I really am sorry.”
Kaede smiled faintly, wiping her cheeks again. “I know.”
Miu just stood there, fidgeting with her hands, unsure how to handle the guilt sitting heavy in her chest.
It was quiet for a long moment before she finally said, barely above a whisper, “You still look kinda pretty when you cry, though.”
Kaede let out a tired laugh. “You really don’t know when to stop, huh?”
Miu smiled small, guilty, and real this time.
She took a deep breath, staring at Kaede’s face like it was the only thing keeping her grounded.
“Kaede… I- I like you,” she blurted out, words spilling faster than she could control. “I like you more than… more than I should, more than I’ve ever liked anyone. And I know I’m a mess, and I screw up everything, and I’m loud and stupid and- ugh! I fucking kissed Tenko because I wanted to make you jealous.”
Kaede froze, her eyes wide, heart skipping. “Miu…” she whispered softly, barely audible.
“I’ve been trying to act like I don’t care, like I can just mess with everyone and pretend it’s fine,” Miu continued, voice shaking, almost desperate. “But I can’t. I can’t stop thinking about you. About your stupid little smile, the way you care too much, the way you see people… the way you see me, even when I don’t deserve it. And I hate it because I shouldn’t feel this way, but I do. I like you. I really like you.”
Kaede’s breath caught. Her lips parted, but no words came out.
“I know I don’t deserve you,” Miu admitted, her voice breaking now. “But I can’t lie anymore. I like you, Kaede. And I’m scared as hell that you’ll hate me or laugh, but I… I needed you to know.”
Kaede’s fingers moved, brushing lightly against Miu’s hand. “Miu…”
Miu’s heart almost stopped. “Don’t- don’t say anything if you don’t feel the same,” she said quickly.
Kaede stepped closer, her hand finally intertwining with Miu’s. “I… I don’t hate you,” she whispered, eyes soft. “I like you too. I think… I’ve been scared. Scared you wouldn’t actually feel the same, scared I’d get hurt if I let myself care.”
Miu’s chest tightened. “So… you… really like me? W-what about the emo boy?”
Kaede nodded, a shy, small smile tugging at her lips. “Really. I like you, Miu. Shuichi is just my friend.”
Miu’s lips trembled “I… I’ve wanted to hear that forever,” she whispered. Then, without thinking, she leaned in and pressed her lips gently against Kaede’s.
Kaede froze for a heartbeat, then relaxed, returning the kiss with a soft, careful intensity. Their hands squeezed together. The kiss was hesitant at first, tentative and nervous, but as the seconds stretched, it became warmer, softer and more real.
Miu pulled back slightly, her forehead resting against Kaede’s. “I’ve never felt like this before,” she admitted quietly. “It’s scary… but it feels so… right.”
Kaede’s voice was just a whisper, trembling with emotion. “I know. Me too. I… love you, Miu. I love all of you.”
Miu grinned. Her fingers brushed away a strand of Kaede’s hair. “All of me? Even the fucking crazymess of me?”
“Especially that part,” Kaede said softly, smiling through her own tears.
Miu laughed and kissed her again. The kiss wad longer and deeper this time. It wasn’t perfect or polished, but it was theirs. Messy and real and full of everything they had been holding back.
When they finally pulled apart, Miu rested her forehead against Kaede’s again, both of them breathing hard, hearts racing. “I promise,” Miu whispered, “I’ll try to be better. For us.”
Kaede shook her head, a small laugh escaping her lips. “You don’t have to change. I like you exactly the way you are. Miu I told you, I like all of it.”
Kaede smiled.
“I’m serious about you. About us.”
Tenko was still in the hallway, curled up by the wall, when she heard footsteps coming closer. She quickly wiped her face, pretending she wasn’t crying which didn’t work at all.
“Wow,” Miu said, crouching down in front of her, hands on her hips. “You look like you got hit by a truck.”
“Miu…” Tenko’s voice was small. “What do you want?”
“To tell you that the universe didn’t totally implode while you were having your little melodramatic moment,” Miu said. “Also, me and Kaede are a thing now.”
Tenko blinke. “W-what?”
Kaede rolled her eyes, smacking Miu’s arm gently. “Don’t say it like that.”
“What? It’s true!” Miu grinned. “We kissed and everything. It was hot.”
“Miu!” Kaede hissed, face red.
Tenko blinked again, then actually smiled a little. “That’s… really nice. I’m happy for you both.”
Miu raised an eyebrow. “Wow, you didn’t even threaten me. Character development.”
“Shut up,” Tenko said quietly, but she was smiling more now. “Did you just come here to brag?”
“Partly,” Miu said, standing up again. “But also to tell you you’re an idiot if you don’t go talk to that tiny witch. She clearly gives a shit about you.”
“She said she hates me,” Tenko whispered.
Kaede stepped closer, her tone gentle. “She didn’t mean it, Tenko. She’s just scared. The same way Miu was.”
“Hey!”
Kaede giggled softly. “You were.”
Miu pouted but didn’t argue.
Tenko looked between them, uncertain. “But what if she really doesn’t want to see me?”
Kaede smiled kindly. “Then at least you’ll know you tried. But something tells me she’s waiting for you.”
Tenko took a slow breath. Her chest still hurt, but for the first time, she felt like she could breathe again. She stood up, brushing off her uniform. “Okay,” she said quietly. “I’ll try.”
Miu grinned, giving her a dramatic thumbs-up. “Go get your girl, kung-fu lesbian!”
“Miu!” Kaede smacked her again, but Tenko actually laughed this time.
“Thanks,” she said softly, before turning and heading to her dorm.
After a few hours, Tenko stood outside Himiko’s dorm again. The hallway was dark, quiet except for the faint hum of the lights. Her heart was pounding so hard she thought it might burst.
She didn’t know what she was going to say only that she couldn’t end it like this.
She knocked softly. “Himiko?”
No answer.
She bit her lip, pressing her forehead to the door. “I know you don’t wanna talk to me,” she said quietly, voice trembling. “And maybe I don’t deserve for you to. But I just wanted to say I’m sorry. Not just for the kiss, but for… everything. For being stupid and loud and not knowing what to do. For making you feel like you didn’t matter.”
Her breath hitched. “You do. You matter more than anyone else to me. And even if you hate me now, I still- I still care about you.”
Still silence.
Tenko sighed, turning to leave. But just as she took a step, the door opened slightly.
Himiko stood there in her pajamas, eyes tired and red. “You talk too much,” she whispered.
Tenko froze. “I… yeah, I know.”
Himiko looked at her for a long second, then stepped aside. “Come in.”
Tenko hesitated, then nodded and walked in quietly.
The air between them was heavy but softer than before. Neither spoke at first they just stood there, the only sound their uneven breathing.
Finally, Himiko whispered, “I don’t hate you.”
Tenko looked up, eyes wide. “What?”
Himiko’s voice shook. “I said I don’t hate you. L-listen I’m sorry,” Himiko whispered. “For saying that. For ignoring you. For everything.”
Tenko shook her head, laughing. “D-don’t be sorry… even though you hurt me a lot. I- I understand…”
Himiko looked down, her fingers tightening around the hem of her sleeve. “You shouldn’t understand,” she said quietly. “You should hate me for it.”
Tenko frowned, stepping a little closer. “I could never hate you.”
“You should,” Himiko whispered, her voice trembling. “You didn’t do anything wrong, and I still treated you like you did. I just… couldn’t handle it.”
Tenko’s chest tightened again. “Handle what?”
Himiko bit her lip, eyes flicking away. “You. Everything about you. You’re always so… warm. You talk to everyone, you smile, you make things better. I couldn’t stand it. Every time you’d look at me, it felt like my heart was trying to jump out of my chest.”
Tenko froze, confused. “That doesn’t make sense. Why would that make you ignore me?”
“Because I didn’t know what it meant!” Himiko’s voice cracked, frustration spilling through the quiet. “I thought I was just annoyed, or jealous, or- I don’t even know. It scared me. So I thought if I stayed away from you, it’d go away.”
Tenko stared at her, breathing uneven. “Did it?”
Himiko shook her head. Her eyes shimmered in the dim dorm light. “No. It just made everything worse. I kept seeing you everywhere, kept wondering if you were mad at me. And then today-“ she stopped, taking a shaky breath, “when you kissed Miu, I just… broke.”
Tenko looked down, guilt washing over her again. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I know,” Himiko whispered. “But it still hurt. Seeing you with her. I wanted to pretend I didn’t care, but I did. And that made me angry— at you, at me, at everything.”
Tenko hesitated before quietly saying, “I thought you stopped caring about me.”
Himiko’s eyes widened. “No. That’s the problem, Tenko. I cared too much.”
The room fell silent again. The air felt heavy, thick with everything they hadn’t said.
Tenko’s voice came out small. “So… what now?”
Himiko looked up at her, eyes glossy. “I don’t know. I just know I don’t wanna keep pretending I don’t see you.”
Tenko’s throat tightened. “Then stop pretending.”
Himiko blinked, a tiny breath escaping her lips. “It’s not that easy.”
“I know,” Tenko said softly. “But I’ll wait until it is.”
Himiko looked at her, startled by the gentleness in her voice. For a second, neither of them moved. The only sound was the faint hum of the lights above them.
Then Himiko whispered, “You’re really stupid sometimes.”
Tenko smiled weakly. “Yeah. But I’m your kind of stupid, r-right?”
That got the smallest, most broken laugh out of Himiko. She shook her head, “Don’t push it.”
Tenko smiled. She leaned her elbows on her knees, staring at the floor. “I missed this,” she said softly. “Just… talking to you. Even if you’re calling me stupid.”
Himiko rolled her eyes, but there was no bite in it. “You talk too much.”
“Yeah,” Tenko said, still staring down. “I know.”
Silence again. The kind that used to be comfortable between them, but now it felt fragile like if either of them said the wrong thing, it’d shatter.
Himiko shifted slightly, the bed creaking under her. “You really would’ve waited for me?” she asked suddenly, voice quiet but shaky, like she wasn’t sure she wanted the answer.
Tenko looked at her, a little surprised. “Of course I would.”
“Even if I never stopped ignoring you?”
“I don’t care,” Tenko said, shaking her head. “I just… didn’t wanna lose you. That’s all.”
Himiko’s lip trembled for a second before she turned away. “You’re so dumb.”
“Yeah, you said that already.”
Himiko’s shoulders shook a little, and it took Tenko a second to realize she was laughing again. Then she sniffled, her laugh breaking halfway through. “You make everything so hard.”
Tenko tilted her head. “You mean everything so easy.”
“Exactly.” Himiko glanced at her, eyes tired but softer now. “You make it too easy to care about you.”
That made Tenko freeze. She didn’t know what to say to that and didn’t trust her own voice enough to try. She just stared at Himiko, trying to read her expression, but Himiko was already looking away again, hugging her knees to her chest.
The room went still again. The kind of stillness that felt like it meant something.
Tenko finally whispered, “I care about you too, y’know.”
Himiko didn’t look at her, but her fingers tightened around the fabric of her uniform. “You shouldn’t.”
“Yeah,” Tenko said quietly. “But I do anyway.”
Himiko let out a long breath, eyes glassy again. “You’re really not gonna make this easy for me, huh?”
“Nope,” Tenko smiled faintly. “Never planned to.”
Himiko finally looked up.
“Then don’t go,” she said, almost in a whisper.
Tenko blinked, heart stuttering. “What?”
“Don’t go yet,” Himiko repeated, a little firmer this time. “Just… stay. For a bit.”
Tenko hesitated then nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”
she said quietly, sitting down beside her. The bed dipped slightly, and for a moment, neither of them spoke.
The silence wasn’t awkward. It was heavy.
Tenko glanced at her. “You sure you’re okay?”
Himiko let out a quiet, shaky breath. “No.”
Tenko’s heart skipped. “Then… talk to me.”
Himiko shook her head at first, staring at the floor. “I can’t. Every time I try, it comes out wrong. I say stupid things. I hurt you.”
“You’re not hurting me right now.”
“That’s because I’m not saying it yet.”
Tenko frowned, confused. “Saying what?”
Himiko’s fingers twisted in the fabric of her skirt, knuckles turning white. “The truth,” she whispered. “The thing I’ve been trying to ignore this whole time.”
Tenko’s breath caught. “What truth?”
Himiko looked up and really looked at her. Her eyes were glassy and her voice was trembling, but she didn’t look away this time.
“I like you, Tenko.”
The words were quiet, but they hit harder than anything else that night.
“I don’t mean just like you,” Himiko continued and her voice was barely holding steady. “I mean… every time I see you, my heart does this stupid thing, and I don’t know how to stop it. And when I ignored you, it wasn’t because I stopped caring but it actually was because I cared too much, and it scared me.”
Tenko froze. Her mouth opened, but no sound came out. Her brain was just… static.
“I thought if I stayed away, it’d fade,” Himiko said. “But it didn’t. It just made me miss you more. And when you kissed Miu, I realized it wasn’t going anywhere. I was just too scared to admit it.”
Her voice cracked at the end, and she turned her head away. “So yeah. That’s it. That’s what I’ve been hiding. You can laugh if you want.”
Tenko blinked, eyes wide, heart pounding so hard it hurt. “Himiko…”
“I know,” Himiko said quickly, cutting her off. “You don’t have to say anything. I just needed to-”
Tenko reached out suddenly, grabbing her hand. It wasn’t planned. It just happened.
Himiko’s breath hitched.
“You think I could laugh at something like that?” Tenko said, voice low but firm. “You’re the reason I couldn’t sleep for days. You think I didn’t feel it too?”
Himiko’s eyes widened. “W-what?”
“I like you too,” Tenko said. “God, I tried not to. I told myself I was just worried, that I just missed you as a friend, but every time you walked past me without saying anything, it felt like.. like someone punched a hole through my chest.”
Himiko blinked fast, tears spilling before she could stop them. “You’re lying.”
Tenko shook her head. “I don’t lie about things like this.”
Himiko’s lip trembled. “Then why didn’t you say anything before?”
“Because you stopped talking to me,” Tenko said, smiling weakly. “And I thought I was the only one who felt it.”
Himiko let out a quiet, broken laugh. “We’re both so stupid.”
“Yeah,” Tenko said softly. “But at least we’re stupid together now.”
Himiko hesitated for a second and then she leaned forward, closing the space between them.
It wasn’t a big, dramatic kiss. It was small, soft and clumsy. When they finally pulled back, Tenko was smiling. She rested her forehead against Himiko’s.
“Still want me to stay?” she whispered.
Himiko nodded, cheeks flushed, eyes still glassy. “Yeah,” she said quietly. “Forever sounds good too.”