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“Hey Jeonghan, can you go grab the extra ice cream from the freezer? It should be in a blue box,” Seungcheol called from the other side of the cafeteria as he handed out bowls full of ice cream and fruit to members of the staff and other members.
“Ok Hyung,” he handed Seungkwan’s bag back to him and left through the back door at the kitchen. It was a big freezer, one of the larger storage ones that they have in supermarkets and restaurants to hold more stock.
Jeonghan grabbed the latch and pulled the door open, sticking his head in to see if the box could be spotted quickly. It couldn’t so he stepped inside closing the door behind him so as not to let the cold air out. It was to be expected that the room and items inside would be cold but as he shifted boxes around to find the ice cream Jeonghan could feel his fingers starting to go numb, so he pulled his thin jumper sleeves down to keep them as warm as possible.
After shifting box after box, he finally located the blue box that was labelled ice cream down the tape on the side. Placing the box on the floor he shifted the other boxes back into places that wouldn’t be in the way, grabbed the ice cream and pulled the lever on the door to exit the freezer.
Except the handle didn’t move.
Jeonghan frowned and tugged the handle again, making sure it had swung all the way up. But it hadn’t, like something was blocking it on the other side. He placed the box on the floor and used both hands to shove at the handle, it moved a few centimetres but not enough for the door to open.
He panicked now, not being properly dressed for the inside of a freezer. It was summer and was around 30°C outside and so he was only dressed in light jeans and a thin jumper to protect himself from the harsh sun.
He let go of the handle, the slam of it returning to its usual position loud in the quiet of the freezer, the only other sound the buzzing of the generator.
Hope not entirely gone yet, he reached for his pocket but the space that usually sat heavier with his phone was as light as the other side was. Sighing, he flopped down onto a box nearby, caring little that he may be squished whatever it contained. His only hope now was that someone realized he was missing before he froze.
--
“Seungcheol hyung have you seen Jeonghan hyung, he said he’d help me with the dishes, he didn’t leave them all to me, did he?” Mingyu sighed as he hung the gloves on the side of the sink and began to make his way to their leader.
“I sent him to grab some more ice cream around 40 minutes ago, I thought he was helping Seokminnie,” Seungcheol scrunched up his face, thinking back to the thought that he likely should have seen Jeonghan in the time since them. He turned from the notebook that he was writing in and scanned the cafeteria for any sight of Jeonghan.
Seokmin was leaning against a wall talking with Sooyoung and Seungkwan next to the door, so he rose from the table and made his way to where the group was standing. “Have you guys seen Jeonghan?” The three members of BSS just stared blankly at him, evidence enough that they hadn’t seen him.
“No hyung. Why? Is he missing?”
“Maybe, I’ll go ask the manager if he’s seen him,” Seungcheol left, walking briskly through the HYBE hallways to get to the manager’s office quickly.
He knocked on the door and waited for the affirmative that he could enter before pushing the door open to see the manager seated at his desk going through a stack of paperwork.
“Ah, Seungcheol what can I do for you?”
“Sorry to bother you manager nim but I’m wondering if you’ve seen Jeonghan recently? No one’s seen him for over half an hour,”
“Can’t say I’ve seen him. Who saw him last?”
“I think I did. I sent to him off to get some more ice cream and I don’t remember him coming back after that,”
“Okay, let’s go check around the freezer and see if anyone else has seen him.”
--
He was cold. Why was he so cold? The last thing he remembered was being asked to grab a box of ice cream from the freezer.
So why was he so cold?
The walls were covered in ice and the door was still jammed, he’d tried it mere minutes ago, the cold metal freezing his fingers more than they already were. He was lying curled up on the ground, having slid from the box as his energy disappeared. It was making him colder, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. His toes and fingers were numb, his arms and legs heavy and aching. It was comfortable on the floor, for frozen concrete that was.
The door was pulled from the outside, however the handle seemed to jam for them as well, not going any further than he had attempted to move it. There was a distant sound of yelling, hurting his head that had begun to thump and throb earlier.
“Stop yelling, it hurts my head” his voice came out quiet and raspy, the cold air drying out his vocal cords and making his throat ache.
The yelling stopped, blissful silence returned the humming of the generator long forgotten into background noise. The door was pulled again, this time opening the entire way to reveal a crowd of people.
Jeonghan was vaguely aware of being lifted and moved but he was cold, it felt like days had passed, his eyes drifting shut and the world fading into the background as he passed out.
--
Jun gave the door one last heave, and it finally came free, sliding open to reveal a sight that he would never be able to forget.
Jeonghan lay in the middle of the freezer, pale limbs spread out like a fallen marionette. Jun ran closer in a panic, Seungcheol on his heels. He looked worse closer up, his lips cracked and blue tinged, his face ashen. Jun turned to Seungcheol as he scooped Jeonghans small, frail body into his arms.
Seungcheol had a look of dismay on his face, “We have to get him warm and to the hospital immediately. Come on.” He helped Jun to his feet, and they sprinted from the freezer, through the building to the waiting car outside. Jun and Seungcheol both stripped their jackets off and placed them around Jeonghan until he was covered, their jackets doing little to provide any warmth, those too made for the hotter weather of summer.
“Tell the others we found Jeonghan and he’s gonna be fine. I don’t want them worrying,” Seungcheol said to Joshua before closing the door and giving the affirmative for his manager to go.
As the car sped along to the roads Seungcheol and Jun moved closer to surround Jeonghan with warmth, the heaters boring at full blast. Juns bare arm brushed Jeonghan’s and he pulled back with a hiss, “Cheol his arm feels like ice,” he didn’t mean for his voice to shake, the events catching up to him, one of his only Hyung’s in such a vulnerable state.
“He’s okay, we’ll get him to the hospital, and they’ll warm him up. He’ll be okay,” He sounded unsure though, like the reassurance was for himself as well, his voice unsteady.
The car screeched to a halt in front of the hospital and Jun got out quickly, reaching back to take Jeonghan from Seungcheols waiting arms. They rushed inside, someone at the company must have called ahead because there was a waiting gurney that Jun lowered Jeonghan onto.
“We’re going to give him a warm saline and some heat blankets to get his body temperature up but he should be fine,” Said one of the nurses calmly, she was kind looking with crinkled eyes indicating she was smiling behind her mask. They thanked her as they went to take a seat in the waiting area, Jun slumping down and leaning his head onto Seungcheols shoulder.
“He’ll be okay,” Seungcheol repeated. The single mantra providing a makeshift sense of comfort while they waited.
--
A different nurse came to get them later, disturbing Jun from his restless sleep and telling them they could see Jeonghan. She led them through the halls until she stopped in front of a door that she pulled open to reveal a sleeping Jeonghan and his parents. Jeonghan, although he had not regained consciousness yet, looked considerably better with colour in his cheeks and his skin warm to the touch, the heat packs and extra blankets long gone.
It vaguely registered in Seungcheols mind that none of the members had thought to call Jeonghans parents, that must have been done by the company.
This was his fault. He was the one who had asked Jeonghan to get the ice-cream and then failed to realize that he hadn’t returned. He stepped forward to stand next to Jeonghans father.
“This is my fault, I can’t apologise enough,” he felt smaller than ever before.
Jeonghans parents turned to him, protests already on their lips.
“Seungcheol-ah, this isn’t your fault,” Jeonghans mother placed a hand on his arm, her eyes meeting his, no blame to be found.
“But it is. I was the one that sent him to the freezer. I was the one that didn’t notice that he hadn’t come back for over 30 minutes.” His hands shook as he whispered his last confession, as though he expected to be shot afterwards. “I couldn’t even open the door to get him out.”
Jeonghans father met his eyes, “It wasn’t. We don’t blame you. Jeonghan won’t blame you. No one will. Do you know why?”
Seuncheol stared at the floor and shook his head.
“Because it wasn’t. Accidents happen, doors get jammed. Stop beating yourself up over this. Do you think Jeonghan would want you to? Take a seat, we’ll wait for him to wake up together and I guarantee that he will say the same thing that I did.”
Jeonghans mother sat down an pulled a chair closer to her, patting it to encourage Seungcheol over.
Once seated she wrapped an arm around his shoulder, hunched in from the blame that he had placed on himself, and drew him into a half hug.
And for a second, only a moment, Seungcheol allowed him to believe that he wasn’t to blame.
--
It took 5 hours. 5 hours of sitting in the uncomfortable hospital chairs. 5 hours of the beeping of the heart monitor. 5 hours of agonising waiting.
When Jeonghans eyes finally fluttered open, unfocused and hazy, his skin had returned to a healthy pink instead of the deathly pale from hours ago. The heating blankets had been removed once his core temperature had reached a safe range hours ago, the saline drip gone leaving him looking small in the hospital bed.
He scanned the room, eyes landing on Seungcheol sitting in the hospital chair. He was asleep, head dropped down onto his chest. Jeonghan winced at the sight, his own neck aching in pain.
Jeonghans mother was the first to notice that he was awake, walking over from where she was rummaging through her handbag. “How are you feeling sweetie?”
Jeonghan opened his mouth, speaking through cracked lips, “How long has he been here?” His voice cracked from his dry throat.
“He’s been here the whole-time sweetie, around 6 hours now,” she held a straw to his lips that he sucked up the much-needed warm water.
“You should have sent him home to sleep,” Jeonghan met his mother’s eyes.
“We tried to, he refused to leave. We could barely get him to eat anything”
Although they were whispering Seungcheol had spent hours hyper focused on the wish for Jeonghan to wake up so even the smallest sound was enough to wake him from his light slumber. When he saw that Jeonghans eyes were pinned on him he leapt from the chair, his neck cracking painfully from the angle it had been left in while he slept.
“You’re awake. How do you feel?” Jeonghan took the time to look at him closer. His clothes were wrinkled, his hair messy from having hands run through it, but what stood out the most was his eyes.
They were filled with guilt.
“Seungcheol-ah, what’s wrong? Why do you look so upset?” he attempted to sit up to grab Seungcheol’s face, his mother helping him when she couldn’t persuade him against it.
“Your leader here believes that it’s his fault,” Jeonghans mother spoke up when it became clear that Seungcheol wasn’t going to say it himself.
“What?” Jeonghan snapped his head to look at his mother and then back. “Why would this be your fault?”
“I didn’t notice that you had been gone so long,” Seungcheols voice was quiet and filled with pain.
“Look at me,” he waited for Seungcheol to meet his eyes. “This isn’t your fault. The door was jammed so I couldn’t get out. That is a fault of the freezer, not you. Do not blame yourself for this. This could have happened to anyone. It’s not your responsibility to keep track of all the members for every second of the day.”
The guilt that Seungcheol had been feeling for hours slowly drained out of him, his shoulder slumping as tears began spilling from his eyes. He reached forward and pulled Jeonghans now warm body into him arms as Jeonghan left to tell the rest of the members that they could come in to see Jeonghan.
--
Jeonghan spent the night in the hospital for monitoring, the members crammed into the small room before they were told to leave when visiting hours ended.
At 10am sharp when they began again, all members piled inside to gather all the belongings that had been left behind. Jeonghan was discharged 2 hours later, going straight home with the instructions to keep warm. And how couldn’t he. Not when he had 12 members to snuggle with on the couch and watch movies with for the rest of the day until they all fell asleep where they were lounging.