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Katsuki has a secret.
His heart started aching way before it exploded in the Final War. Not in a metaphorical unrequited love fashion, no, in a very physical bitchy manner.
It started in the fucking river, of course. It was supposed to be a day like any other, he, Izuku and the other extras were playing in the woods from the park close to their houses. His mother had already advised him about the dangers of straying too far from the playground into the wooden area. Spirits lived there, she said. Right, as if this story that was supposed to scare little children would get to Katsuki. No, he was in the way to become the greatest hero, surpassing even All Might, of course he wouldn’t be stopped by this kiddy crap. So that’s why he was leading the way singing: "Forward marching, here we go, members of the agency Bakugo”.
It happened so fast, he almost didn’t feel the fall. One moment his foot slipped and in the other he was already in the water. Panic surged through his body as he emerged from the current. His breathing was picking up, but he couldn’t show his weakness to the others. He faintly heard them calling after him, he needed to produce an answer quickly: “Sure, just give me one second!”.
Then he heard steps into the water and a hand materialized in front of his face: “Are you all right, are you hurt?
A spark of uncontrollable anger cut through his entire body. How dare Izuku think he needed any help? Katsuki wasn’t a weakling crybaby like him, he didn’t need a hand, so he slapped it away and made his point straight: “Get away from me you, you.. freaking Deku! I don’t want anything from you!”.
Katsuki witnessed those green doe eyes losing their spark in real time. His stomach made something funny in his belly as Izuku retreated his hand fumbling with it without really knowing what to do anymore. “Oh, if Kacchan says so.. Kacchan is always so strong, I was just worri..”
“Shut up! Just leave me alone.” And, quite ungracefully, Katsuki got up and ran, he just ran away from whatever shit he was feeling. It couldn’t be shame or even regret, no he didn’t feel any of those things. All he could sense was the anger overflowing in hot tears streaming down his face.
Eventually, Katsuki stopped to breathe under an enormous tree. At first, he didn’t even see her so caught up in his own distress to notice anything in his surroundings. But, then, he perceived her presence, heavy, foreign and very weird. The woman was slowly approaching him, she stepped on a broken branch, yet it didn’t produce any sound which was so odd. Everything was screaming: run away, in Katsuki’s mind, but for some reason he simply couldn’t move. He felt like a baby deer, so, so small.. He hated it. The boy curled into himself and averted his eyes.
“Poor creature, running from the strings, can’t you feel the pull?”
Katsuki heard the words being uttered straight in his mind. It was so bizarre. Still, he couldn’t find the will to look at the creature’s face. Because that's what it was, right? There was no way the thing in front of him was a real woman. She was dressed in a sort of flowing dress, so thin it seemed to merge with the air itself.
“Oh, such beautiful souls. If only you could see it too, orange and green, the brightest of them all together. But, alone, they dwindle into dust.”
The boy couldn’t make any sense out of the things she was saying. He acknowledged the words individually, but together there was no coherence to be made of them. Not yet, at least.
“This cannot be. I will not allow it.”
That was it, he could feel it in his bones. His mother. Her image came bright as a torch in his mind. “Don’t mess in the woods, Katsuki. They are the home of things you can’t comprehend.” Oh, would he ever see her again? What would he give to see the hag again.
“Until you recognize your own heart, it will remind you of what it wants the most”.
At this moment Katsuki felt the pull. A dull squeeze in the middle of his chest. He raised his head and met the creature's eyes, and everything went black.
*
Katsuki woke up with a start, hyperventilating. He started to gather his surroundings, blue walls, All Might posters on the wall, figurines neatly arranged in the shelves, the familiar smell of burnt sugar. He was in his room.
Slowly, the memories of the smell of the grass, the chillness of his wet skin, a flowing dress, the creature… Was it a dream? But, he couldn’t remember how he got home, what time was it? Only then, he felt it, the ache right at his, right at his..
What did the woman say again? Something about souls and colors, and about his heart, but what the hell did she mean with it?
Katsuki got up from his bed and went downstairs. “Mom? Mom, are you home?”.
“I’m here brat”. He heard her voice from the office. A surge of relief went through the boy’s body. He went to the last room in the narrow corridor and opened the door hastily. “Hey, do you think you can come bursti.. Huh”. He hugged her firmly.
Mitsuki couldn’t hide her surprise that quickly turned into concern. “What’s going on, Katsuki? Are you hurt?”.“I’m fine”. She heard the muffled answer.
What else could he say? Hey mom, I disobeyed you and now I am probably cursed for good. No way. So he did the next best thing. He allowed her to hug him back and received the comfort he needed, before he could gather his thoughts better on what was going on. Perhaps, it was only a weird dream after all, and the pain he was feeling in his chest was just a residual ache from his fall, or even his mind playing tricks on him.
*
It was definitely not a dream.
Katsuki could confirm it first hand the next time he saw Izuku in school the day after. He got in class, early as always. After about ten minutes, there he was coming into teh room in all his green glory. Immediately, the blond felt the pull in his chest. What the hell. “Kacchan!” the boy uttered getting closer. Right when things couldn’t get any worse..
“Kacchan” the freckled boy started fidgeting with his fingers “I just wanted to apologize for yesterday.. I really didn’t mean to..”.
“Shush, Deku. I don’t care. Get out of my face, I’m fine”. But, Katsuki wasn’t fine. With the proximity the dull ache in his chest got definitely stronger. He needed to get away from the other boy quickly, and there was only one way he knew how to make people stay out of his way.
“But, Kacchan..”
“Can’t you listen to a damn thing I’m saying? You’re a quirkless crybaby that gets on my nerves. You are a good for nothing Deku, vanish if you know what’s good for you”.
That finally did the trick, sniffling the boy said before going to his seat, “Sorry, Kacchan, I didn’t mean to upset you, I won’t bother you anymore”.
After Deku got within three desks away, Katsuki could finally breathe again. But, strangely, the pain in his chest didn’t subside. Crap. He would need to learn how to deal with it, and soon.
*
Time passed. From elementary to middle school. The ache became an old friend, always lurking in the shadows, just like fucking Deku. Katsuki went through several stages, from ugly denial, to a reluctant acceptance, undergoing an extensive phase of trials. Slowly, he tested what made the pain worse and the few times it almost subsided, all of these experiments were quite inconclusive, the only common thread between all of them being exactly the only person the blond would never admit to having something to do with it at all.
Sometimes, he almost caved and told his parents about the chest pains. He knew his father would be understanding, and the hag would throw a fit, but ultimately it was all her way of showing she cared. Hell, perhaps all these years his body was only showing signs that something was truly fucked up with his heart and he was stubbornely dening them all. But, deep inside, he knew it wasn’t true. Whatever happened in those woods all those years ago was real and he had no idea yet how to make this shitty pain go away.
With the last year of middle school arriving everything was about to change. He was going to get accepted into U.A. and go his separate ways with Deku, finally severing whatever freak connection they had. Everything would turn out fine and the soreness would finally go away. But, then again, when did life go the way Katsuki expected?
The sludge villain happened. As he was filled with that filthy slime (through places Katsuki wouldn’t acknowledge) and was about to accept he was going to be choked to death, something really weird happened.
The ache in his chest started to gradually ease off. At first, the boy thought it was a natural effect of his approaching death, but that didn’t really sound right. It felt as a sign of something else, as if something truly was nearing, but not necessarily his doom.
Then, he saw him. Curly hair, impossibly worried, but equally determined green eyes. Crazily running in his direction. For a moment, Katsuki truly believed that everything would be alright and he almost forgot about the pain.
Deku couldn’t handle everything on his own, of course. All fucking Might in the flash appeared to save the day. But, something fundamentally changed that day, because for once, Deku’s presence wasn’t the source of a worsening in his chest pain, on the contrary, for a brief magical moment, Katsuki practically couldn’t feel it. It was very weird. It didn’t make any sense. But, it was a start.
*
In the end, he couldn’t run from Deku.
They both ended up in U.A., the damn nerd made the unbelievable reveal that he did, in fact, have a fucking quirk (this inspired a spark chest of pain that Katsuki didn’t feel in years). Even though Deku ran after him and swore he didn’t lie, that he received a quirk, it could all just be utterly bullshit. The blond couldn’t keep his emotions in check neither the tears from running down his face. He promised that was the last time, that he would not lose again. Afterwards, his chest felt strangely light.
Regardless of they being a magnet for villains and trouble, things moved forward. The nerd made friends and even Katsuki got surrounded by people that liked him for what he truly was and not by what he trained himself to showcase. His chest still ached, but the pain wasn’t as stark as it had already been.
Katsuki won the Sports Festival. He got into an internship with Jeans and it hurt a bit more to stay away from everyone of U.A. (even though he would never admit it). Everytime they got back, Deku seemed to get stronger while he still felt a bit stagnant. It sucked. Then, they all went to Summer Training and Katsuki got fucking kidnapped.
Unlike in the Sludge Villain situation, all Katsuki could feel in the moments he got turned back into human form and watched Deku with broken arms shrieking that fucking nicknam,e was such a big of a pain that it seemed his heart was being pulled out from his chest trying to yank him away from Mr. Compress’ hold. It didn’t work anyway. It took All Might using the last of his power, exposing his secret for the world to bring him back to safety.
The pain in his chest got significantly worse after this, leaning Katsuki to fuck with the Provisional Hero License Exam. He felt so fucking much that there was no other way of keeping bottling up his guilt, he needed to get it out, and again, he only knew one manner of doing so with the only person that would understand.
Battling the nerd in Ground Beta brought back all the contradictions that surrounded their relationship. It felt both exhilarating, pulling in a way that made Katsuki go further, ready to prove himself, to show he still had worth. Deku fought back, he really did. With each movement he felt his heart alive, constricting and relaxing. The ache barely there in favor of the exertion of the next move, the thrill of not knowing what would be the winning attack. Just like that, it all ended. The blond expertly pining the other boy down.
It didn’t feel like a true win, though, how could it? Disbelief slowly crawled its way back into Katsuki’s heart. All Might had chosen Deku instead of him, so why? Why did he not win? He exploded. All the bottled up emotions finally finding their way out. He was weak, he was so, so weak that he brought All Might’s demise and couldn’t even be a proper hero. It was so fucking unfair. But, then the man himself said something that made Katsuki put things in another perspective.
That night, All Might claimed Izuku always admired Katsuki’s strength while he feared the other boy's heart. Together they can be the greatest heroes who win to save and save to win. Now, that their feelings were finally laid in the open they could start to truly understand each other.
Katsuki then made Deku promise to honor the power that was confided in him. While he himself promised to keep their secret while also starting to truly hear his own heart.
*
There was a significant change after Ground Beta.
Katsuki could admit that he and Deku were now in almost friendly terms, and that the chest pain changed. It didn’t stop, not at all, yet, it shifted. Up until that moment, its gripe was piercing, when it got worse it was as if he was being spiked with an unknown number of needles, depending on the situation. Or, reversely, he felt pulled into another direction, as if an invisible force was trying to put him in a distinct track. Now, the pull was still there, but the ache felt more like longing, as missing something he never truly had. Which was very weird. What he couldn’t deny himself anymore was the centrality of the nerd into his predicament, and this was a problem.
Katsuki fell into old habits of trying to remember that day in the woods. What were the exact words of the woman to him? He was so fucking young, sometimes he felt so much anger that a creature could cast a curse (cause’ that’s the only thing this shit could be in all his observations throughout the years) in a 7 year old. It sounded completely bananas in the grand scheme of things, but he needed to play with the cards he was dealt with. So, Katsuki decided to do the only thing he could at that point: keep moving forward.
He got mad at Deku for being a magnet for trouble. Then, he attended the shitty remedial course, and finally got his license. Thank you so much. Even agreed to play the drums in the fucking School Festival. And everyday Katsuki learned how to cope with this different pain that kept him going into a direction he wasn’t really aware of yet.
He got caught off guard with Icy Hot’s invitation to be an intern in his father’s agency. Katsuki's first reaction was to say a straight no, but then he decided to pay attention to the way the pressure over his heart subsided slightly over the suggestion of spending more time with.. No. He got excited with the opportunity to train with the current number one hero, that was all.
The pain briefly stabbed him like it didn’t occur in a long time.
*
Then, Katsuki really was stabbed. Speared, twice, to be more precise.
In his defence, the moment he saw the nerd detaching himself from the rest of the heroes his chest pulled him straight in the same direction. It wasn’t even a conscious decision. He knew he had business to settle with Tomura and it was the day to set his slate clean.
The battle was intense, filled with attacks and the exhilaration of showing how much his abilities improved. Granted, he didn’t do it on his own. It was the hours spent in the internship and in that damned gymnasium, running and avoiding getting caught by Deku. It was admitting that he wanted to help and that protecting people was as important as winning.
So when he spotted the spear like tendrils going straight in the nerd’s direction neither his body nor his heart hesitated. They moved on their own, pulled by an invisible string Katsuki was starting to admit was always there.
The pain was unlike anything he had ever felt. The rest of the fight was a big blur and before Katsuki could do something else he lost his conscience.
*
A sunny day, the river, getting soaked in the water, an intense sense of shame, green, running, the wind in his face drying his tears, a flowing dress, souls, orange, fear.
“Until you recognize your own heart, it will remind you of what it wants the most”
*
Katsuki came to abruptly. He finally remembered the woman’s exact words from that day, yet he couldn’t allow himself to dwell on them. The oxygen mask was a weird weight in his face. He sat up and instantly regretted the movement. The pain so sharp it was as if he was being punctured again so different from the other ache now so familiar it was almost a part of himself. But, he couldn't ignore the pull.
That damned nerd. If he died Katsuki would personally kill him. His heart told him otherwise. Deku was alive, somewhere in this freaking hospital and he would find him even if it was the last thing he did. He didn't get far, even though each step made his chest a little lighter.
The nerd was in a fucking coma. There was nothing they could do besides waiting and Katsuki was never good at it. In the end, it didn’t fucking matter.
He was discharged first. Putting a bigger distance between himself and the green haired teen was harder than the blond anticipated. He didn't have much choice though. So, he complied. Things were hectic enough already.
Katsuki was trying to mind his own business to relieve the knowledge that that was the day Deku would be discharged too. Then came the misery. He could feel his heart being compressed so hard it gave him a headache. Something was seriously wrong and soon he found out why.
That was the worst month of his life. Not knowing where the nerd went to, the constant tug in his chest to just move, find him, do anything, and worse not being able to because, ultimately, he was left behind. He did what he could, gathered the other students, cut that damned letter in little pieces and they finally started to look for the other boy.
Katsuki was following the pull, deep down he knew eventually it would show him where the nerd had got himself into. Every splash of green a new sting through his chest, hope sparking. Only to be proven to be another three or idiotic object. They searched and searched until that rainy day. He spotted the crowd and deep in his bones he knew the end of the string laid there beneath all those people.
Of course, the stinky bastard tried to run. Surely, they were able to get him, because Izuku wasn’t really attempting to escape. So when they were finally face to face, when Katsuki’s heart wasn’t being crushed by the distance between them, but only by the weight of the words he needed to say right on that moment, he laid his heart bare.
“I’m sorry for everything”.
When he felt the body of the other boy crashing on top of his chest, it made something funny. Even with the precarious situation, Katsuki felt light. For the spam of time of their journey back to U.A., he kept his collected closeness to the person that wouldn’t leave his mind in the past month. Hell, who was he deceiving? Izuku was always there. It really was time to stop lying to himself. Once they got back to the school and the nerd was cleaned and fed, Katsuki had to get the stick out of his ass and have a longer talk with him.
The peaceful feeling didn’t last long. Of course people would find a way to disrupt their plans, fear does this. Watching Cheeks shouting on the top of her lungs defending the green haired boy made Katsuki’s chest constrict weirdly. He felt a squeeze right under his throat, it was so intense and foreign. But, he didn’t have to address it right now, the fact was that it worked and they could enter the school grounds and get ready for the war which was lurking in the corner.
Katsuki would have to neglect his heart a little longer.
*
The moment Izuku was sucked into that damn portal, Katsuki felt their string being stretched in an impossible manner.
He couldn’t lose himself to the feeling. He had to be there, show his growth, gain enough time for the nerd to arrive. He could already feel the tug diminishing, Izuku was approaching them. What he couldn’t perceive was the fact that Shigaraki could also see straight through his heart.
The pain was almost unbearable. A part of himself just wanted to lay down and pass out, but he knew he couldn’t. Gotta win, right Izuku? So, Katsuki got up and finally let his heart show him the way. He had never felt his power like this, he was so in sync, could he still catch up to Izuku? He was close, so close, and then..
He saw himself in a white infinite room. The pain in his chest, his old friend, subsided. Oh, sure. He wasn’t enough. If only he had been true to himself earlier, he would have been able to ask that damn autograph to All Might, and he.. and he would.. What would he give to see those green eyes again.
Time wasn’t actually a concept in this place so Katsuki couldn’t tell how long he stood there. It was sudden, his heart being compressed again, being stitched, the pain spreading over his body like an explosion and suddenly.. He opened his eyes.
The smell of petrichor, smoke and blood flooded his senses. He couldn’t think, only follow the tug. He stumbled his way up, picked his card and moved forward.
Green eyes went straight through his red ones, and for a moment Katsuki wondered if he could feel it too. Once again, his body moved on his own. It knew exactly what to do. Orange and green. Kacchan battled his way through to save All Might and kick that baby ass into the next life. He felt the tug of the bond telling him he was getting far from Izuku again, but he knew it was needed. When the last of his force left him and he made sure to give A.F.O. hell he made his wish to the wind and via his heart (that wasn’t really his anymore, if it ever was), good luck Izuku. He lost consciousness.
He thought it would be it, he would wake up in a hospital or again into the after life, but no. Once again he felt his chest being pulled. It wasn’t a conscious choice. He wouldn’t be able to tell how he got there in time to save Izuku one last time. He was a puppeteer of destiny and he let it have its way with his body.
He knew Izuku was safe, and in the end it was all that mattered.
*
He did wake up in the hospital the next time he opened his eyes. His parents were there, right by his side, guarding him as if he was a little baby again. Everything hurt. He didn’t really have the strength to address the size of the problem he got himself into, but he knew, ultimately, it was worth it.
Time, again, was a slippery concept and he slept more than stayed awake for the initial period of recovery. One afternoon, he felt his chest tugging him strongly in the direction of a different room and, as he had learned by now, he let his heart lead the way.
“I still got the embers”.
The initial easiness of being close to the other boy instantly evaporated giving place to a squeeze in his chest that almost choked him. This couldn’t be happening. Izuku, quirkless again? But, he was sure they would be competing for the rest of their lives. Even with the nerd and All Might reassurances, Katsuki felt a bit lost. It was a bittersweet feeling, surviving the war, yet still having a long way of recovery ahead. Being the closest to Izuku in a long time, but also so far away.
Every opportunity he had to sneak into the nerd’s room in the hospital he took it. In the beginning, they didn’t talk much, everything they went through was still way too fresh, the weight of their decisions in the battlefield too significant to dissect in that environment. Katsuki had to admit it got harder to distinguish between the pain caused by the curse and the one inflicted by his injuries, but being closer to Izuku alleviated the worst of it, so it was worth the trouble of dodging the nurses and doctors. They gave up eventually and let the boys be.
Later, they started talking about trivial stuff, All Might movies, good ice cream shops downtown (that were probably in ruins at that point), cool gym apparel. Izuku made some recommendations about the brands and types of compression sleeves he favored. Katsuki missed the nerd's freckles and constantly made fun of his hideous haircut. They both ended up with scars they would carry for the remainder of their lives.
“Kacchan..”
“Yes, nerd.”
“May I ask you a question?”
Katsuki’s ragged heart started beating faster inside his chest, but he tried to fake nonchalance. “Sure, hit it”.
Izuku seemed to ponder if he really wanted to ask, or perhaps he was thinking about how to inquire about it. Katsuki couldn’t tell, which irritated him. “Are we friends?”.
WHAT.
“Of course, we are friends, Izuku.” Green eyes seemed to regain some spark over the previous insecurity they held.
“I’m glad, Kacchan.” Katsuki’s chest agreed. He already assumed they were on friendly terms, but hearing it out loud brought authenticity to the claim. But, apparently, Izuku wasn’t done yet. “It’s been a while since I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something”. Alarm bells rang in the blond’s head. “Well, sometimes I feel we communicate better through our fists, just like at Ground Beta, but ever since that day the sludge villain caught you, how can I explain this, I’ve been sensing this..”
The door opened with a bang. After it a litter of his friends came barging into the room. “Bakubro! You are here as well”. Fuck. Katsuki had almost forgotten it was visiting hours. Damn nosy fuckers. Some of them were stuck in the hospital as well, but most were already discharged to alleviate the work load. Deep down, he was relieved they were all alive. If anything, from all the people in this room, Katsuki was the one who got closer to the point of no return. He heard some of their friends got close as well, especially Cheeks who discreetly entered the room and was now by Izuku’s bed side. That choking feeling came back fully crushing his throat. God damn it.
He forced himself to stay, not to react. He played the games their friends took with them, but stayed unusually quiet. If anyone noticed they decided not to mention anything. When he felt he could leave without embarrassing himself, he told everyone he was tired and needed to sleep. As he was leaving he could swear he heard a faint “Kacchan”, but he decided to ignore it and went straight to his room.
Not a remnant of the lightness he felt while alone with Izuku in the nerd’s room remained with him that night.
*
Katsuki was the last student from 1A to be discharged from the hospital.
In fact, he only got to go home, because his parents guaranteed they would make sure he would rest. Knowing the hag, he knew she would stay like a hawk by his side, preventing him from doing basically anything. Whatever, they were lucky enough that their house survived the war intact, he could follow the rules by now. If he were true to himself, he really needed all the rest he could get before diving headfirst into his recovery process.
Izuku and him have been messaging each other ever since the freckled boy got sent home as well. The physical distance weared Katsuki a bit more, but it was inevitable. They circled back into talking about amenities, the nerd would send pictures of his day to the blond and the ache in his heart subsided just a little bit with every notification that got through his phone. However, it was as if there was an elephant in the room. Izuku hasn’t addressed yet what he was about to say that afternoon when they got interrupted, and hell if Katsuki would be the one to bring it up.
Laying down in his bed, he had so much time to spare that he couldn’t help, but to start thinking again of how his life changed since that day in the river. Katsuki was cursed, this much he could tell. At first, he thought that by rejecting Izuku that afternoon, whatever predicament the woman cast on him tried to prevent him from getting closer to the boy, making his heart ache. So he tried to create the distance between them through the only way he knew: with anger and humiliation. Everything he hated on himself he felt exposed every time he saw those green eyes that still shone with admiration. Then, the sludge villain incident happened, and Katsuki was led to reluctantly pay more attention to the different ways his chest was tormented. Which made him admit that, perhaps the curse was trying to tell him something else. After this, came U.A. and he changed so fucking much. Izuku became a conscious presence in his life, not in the way you have an itch that you can’t scratch, but as a constant reminder that he could do better, and he was always better by his side. So he stopped battling against it, instead, recognizing that the pull in his chest bringing them together was part of him, that his heart would always ache for Izuku.
He needed to go back. He needed to see the river.
*
It required three days for him to devise a plan. He wasn’t really sure if he would make it to his final destination without collapsing, yet he had to try anyway, he felt the inevitable pull already.
He didn’t bring much with him, only his phone that would send a ping with his live location to his father’s cellphone if he failed to turn it down.
Luckily, their neighbourhood wasn’t very impacted by the war battles and things remained mostly intact. So, down he went, through the old playground he used to mess around with the nerd and the other extras. Across the park fence and into the woods. It wasn’t the first time he tried to retrace his steps from that fateful day, still he never found the exact tree in which he encountered the woman. He went slowly, looking closely for any signs that he was in the right direction, but he found nothing. His chest was already burning as if on fire for the exertion of the walk. He didn’t have much time left and, honestly, he wasn’t really sure how he would make the way back. But, this was a problem for future Katsuki. He still had to do one last thing before trying to return.
The river wasn’t as far from the woods as he first thought. He easily spotted the log in which he slipped into the water all those years ago, it looked so, so.. small. All the scenario seemed so meager compared to the magnitude of his memories. Maybe that’s how it is, you grow up to put some scale into the events of the past, only to realize that perhaps they aren’t so indecipherable and definite as you once thought. That he could grow and admit that he should have accepted the hand that was so kindly offered to him. To accept that long before any encounter with a forest spirit his heart only longed for one thing. A person that right now was probably in the way of realizing his own feelings for someone else, all due to Katsuki’s stupidity of denialing his affections.
Ah. A spark of pain went through his chest and he lost his balance. Fuck, he was too close to the edge, he was going to fall into the damn river again.
“KACCHAAN!”
A hand is outstretched in his direction, this time he takes it.
Strong arms cage him into a secure hold and they collapse into the ground. For a moment, they just catch their breaths. Then, Katsuki feels the dampness of tears soaking the shoulder of his black t-shirt.
“Are you insane?” Izuku shouts. “You were supposed to be resting, not, not walking around in the woods!” Katsuki realizes the freckled boy is mad. “I, I was in my room and then the pull got harder and I knew, I knew Kacchan, that something was wrong. I ran so fast, I shouldn’t be running you know? I followe…”
“The pull?” Katsuki asked meekly.
For a moment, Izuku closed his mouth as if he was caught red-handed. He sighed and completed: “Yes, Kacchan, the pull”.
Katsuki’s entire world was fastly imploding. Could it be? Could Izuku also.. “you feel it too?”. He dared to look straight into those green eyes that haunted him his whole life. He needed to be sure that the nerd wasn’t lying.
Realizing he couldn’t run anymore from the truth, Izuku started explaining: “Ever since we were kids, sometimes I feel this thing, it’s not exactly pain, it feels more like a tug in my chest. I tried to ignore it first. It was just my anxiety, for sure. But, you know how I am, I just couldn’t ignore it and I started to analyse it and I identified a pattern. The pull, it always showed me your direction.”
Katsuki couldn’t breathe anymore, he was sure his mouth was hanging open, but the part of his brain responsible for closing it was too busy trying to make sense of Izuku’s words.
“It wasn’t a constant presence, but whenever you were in danger Kacchan, it was like alarm bells running in my head. So, back in the war, when I was running back to U.A. and it got the worse it had ever been I got scared, but then it subsided and I thought you were ok, then I got there and saw you.. I saw you..”. The tears ran freely through Izuku’s face. Tentatively, Katsuki raised his left hand and held it with a delicacy he didn’t know he possessed.
“I’m alright, nerd”.
“You weren’t!” Izuku bawled. A few beats passed before he was able to add: “When I saw you Kacchan, I almost lost it. I was gonna destroy everything, I just knew it, because.. a world without you is not one worth living in”.
Katsuki was at a complete loss of words, which was something very uncommon.
Izuku kept laying his heart bare to him: “when A.F.O. had All Might I really thought it would be it. But, then I felt it, the pull was back, I heard the explosion and I just knew, I knew it was you, I knew you were alive and I knew everything would be ok, because when we’re together, everything is bright, Kacchan. I don’t ever wanna lose you, Kacchan, ever again.”. Katsuki agreed. “So, imagine that, today, I’m in my room, organizing my things, and I feel this tug as if my heart was being jerked out of my chest. I just ran, I ran so fastly I even think I used a little bit of the embers, and I found you here, what were you thinking? Why are you here? Why..”
“Izuku..” Katsuki interrupted his sweet mumbling nerd.
“What!?” He answers abruptly.
“May I kiss you?” Here goes nothing.
“What?”
Several seconds passed. Katsuki started thinking he read the situation entirely wrong and maybe he really had a heart condition all along and his unconscious just developed this plot to make him realize his feelings for the nerd. The same feelings that were about to be crushed. Katsuki needed to get up and get the hell away from this place for good, but his legs were not complying at that moment. Then, he felt it.
Chapped lips found his own tentatively. The universe stops. The crush in his heart alleviated almost immediately leaving only the surgery pain behind. They were fucking kissing. Actually, Izuku was kissing him, because the rebound of the events was so intense he was feeling airy. Or perhaps, this was the effect of what it was like to be kissed by your soulmate. So, Katsuki did his best to try and reciprocate the kiss. It wasn’t as if he ever smooched anyone before, thus he had no idea if he was doing it right. But, judging by the sounds the nerd was emitting, he could guess he was doing a good job.
They separated briefly after to catch their breaths. Only to start devouring each other again in the next second. His heart sang. If all of the hardships they went through lead them to this very moment, Katsuki would go through all the pain again.
When they finally satiated their initial thirst, Izuku held him in his arms again while hiding his flushed face at the junction between his shoulder and neck. Katsuki could feel he was being mindful of both of their injuries, but judging by the way he secured him in his hold, it was safe to say that if he could merge both his bodies in one, he would.
That’s when he noticed her. Hidden behind a tree by their left. The same flowing dress, the same opulent presence. She was real and she was.. smiling?
“Happy are the strings of fate, for you finally recognized your soul’s other part”
It was the same bizarre way the spirit used to communicate last time.
“Don’t forget to cherish the bond.”
Katsuki slowly nodded.
“Kacchan..”
“BAKUGOU KATSUKI”. Shit. He would recognize that screech even in death itself (which could be a close reality again, oh so soon).
“We are here!” Katsuki answered.
Izuku flinched and started detaching himself from his body as carefully and fastly as he could. He helped Katsuki stand up.
“Aunt Mitsuki, that’s so nice to see you again, I came to..” the nerd, red from head to toe, started mumbling non-stop trying to justify what they were doing.
Both his parents got into view and were clearly trying to assess the situation. His mother’s anger clearly deflated a bit giving place to confusion and, ultimately, understanding of what the boys were up to in the middle of the park forest not after a week of being discharged from the hospital. His father only sported a knowing and supporting smile.
“Apparently, the notification came through”. Katsuki said.
“Well, you can imagine my shock when your father’s cellphone started blaring with a location right in the middle of a river while we were out doing grocery shopping and you, brat, was supposed to be fucking sleeping.”
“I’m sorry”. His sincerity clearly got all of them off guard. “I just needed to check something”.
“OH, so you couldn’t wait a couple of days to kiss your boyfriend again and needed to get in the middle of freaking nowhere, you could’ve just invited him over like normal people, Katsuki!”.
“Bbboyfriiend?” Clearly being the only piece of information his nerd’s brain would focus on.
Katsuki used his good hand to reach for one of Izuku’s own and stared deeply into green eyes. He searched the bond as he tried to convey the idea of: What do you think? Would it be so bad? Deep inside, Kacchan received his answer and addressed his mother. “Can I invite Izuku over for dinner?”.
For the second time, he caught his parents by surprise. His father recovered first: “Sure, son. I mean, we still have to go back to pay and get the groceries, but if Izuku doesn’t mind waiting”.
“And he must call Inko first, to ask for permission and tell her where he is. She must be freaking out by now”. His mother complemented.
“Yyes, of course aunt Mitsuki, thank you so much for inviting me over”. Katsuki squeezed the other boy’s hand for reassurance.
“Well, let’s go back then, slowly!” She said, looking straight into Katsuki’s soul. He just nodded back.
So, that’s what they did. Quite diligently they found their way back out of the woods and into the streets to the Bakugou’s household. All along, Izuku held his hand strongly, supporting him through the path.
Katsuki was experimenting a weird duality, his chest burned from the great exertion too soon after all his surgeries (to be honest he wasn’t even sure how he was still up till that point), but at the same time his heart never felt lighter. He knew they had a long way ahead, starting with a long due conversation. They would screw things up, fight and make up, work through the trauma and the resentment that inevitably crossed their ways. However, that day, he made a promise to himself.
He would never deny his heart again.