Archive of Our Own

It's close enough to winter that it's certainly not a seasonal activity anymore, so Mitsuba thinks it's crazy that Kou suggests a walk through a forest one lazy afternoon.

“Why would I want to do that,” he says flatly, not phrased as a question at all. “I genuinely can't think of a single thing I'd rather do less.”

Kou, standing in front of a school bathroom mirror with a huge grin on his face, seems unfazed by his immediate rejection. “The weather's nicer today than it'll probably be for the next few weeks,” he starts, putting up a finger for each point he lists. “It's good exercise, which I need after all the time I spent in bed when I was sick a couple weeks ago. There won't be many other people around due to the season. It's healing.”

“Not a single one of those things you've just said affects me in any way whatsoever,” Mitsuba tells him, leaning his elbow on the edge of the mirror and propping his chin on his hand. “Especially not the healing aspect. Try again.”

Kou glares.

“I have a ton of snacks in my bag that we can eat when we find a good spot,” he admits, after a moment. “And I bought you bubble tea.”

A wicked grin spreads across Mitsuba's face.

This is how the two of them end up walking through a public forest at around two in the afternoon, Kou lugging a giant backpack and Mitsuba skipping after him.

“You know what,” he says, pretending he's taking a long breath of the crisp air and holding his arms out dramatically. “This isn't actually all that bad.”

“You're such a pain,” Kou groans, shaking his head. His posture is terrible. He's practically bent double with the weight of his bag. “Making me buy all that extra shit just so you'd agree to come. I'm never buying you anything again.”

Mitsuba slurps his bubble tea obnoxiously. He'd noticed that Kou had gotten him a peach one, and it had warmed his artificial heart to a degree that only Kou ever manages to make him feel. He hadn't thanked him, and Kou hadn't asked him to. The two of them don't really do things like that.

“You should know how expensive I am by now,” he says. He wanders slightly off the path towards the trees, spotting something on the ground that catches his interest. “It's on you if you didn't think about that.”

The thing he'd seen is a large stick with a curve at the end, shaped like a question mark. He presents it to an unimpressed Kou with a huge grin. “Walking stick.”

Kou rolls his eyes. “Honestly,” he says, “you and Tiara are the exact same.”

“Jealous of my stick, I see how it is,” Mitsuba says lightly. He switches his tea to his left hand and whacks the stick against the ground with every step he takes. “Bet you wish you'd seen it before I did. Bet you're seething right now.”

“Oh, I'm so mad,” Kou says, although he's smiling, eyes thin with mirth. “I shouldn't even have invited you, if I didn't I'd have significantly more money and the most awesome stick I've ever seen.”

Mitsuba laughs. Kou is one of the few people who can make him do that. 

Kou is one of the few people who makes him genuinely happy at all, although he'd never admit it aloud.

They've been hanging out outside of the school a lot more lately. It's almost always Kou inviting him places, too - cafes, parks, the local shops. They'd even been to a street market last week. Mitsuba had tasted dango for the first time, and liked it so much that he hadn't shut up about it to Nanamine and Natsuhiko and the latter had gotten jealous and demanded that Mitsuba bring some back for them to share next time Kou took him out.

He likes it when Kou does stuff like this. He's always so weirdly thoughtful, about absolutely everything. Explaining what things are in case Mitsuba doesn't know, which he usually doesn't. Keeping him out of crowded areas where he might get overwhelmed or lost. Buying him things that he wants, even if he complains about it endlessly like he's being held at gunpoint to do it. It flusters him to no end, being treated with such a stupid amount of kindness and gentleness. It's like Kou doesn't even know he's a monstrous killer.

But he does, which makes it all the stranger that they're currently on a walk through a dense forest right now with almost no one else around.

It's a public forest, so they have seen a couple people walking by, but that was earlier, before they'd gotten so deep inside. There are rules that involve sticking to the paths, and signs everywhere that proclaim as much, but Mitsuba's not been paying attention to them. Kou has stopped yelling at him to get back on the path by now, knowing damn well that Mitsuba's not gonna pay attention. It's not like it'd matter. Any danger that he could possibly encounter by straying off the path isn't something that could hurt him, anyway.

Despite all the complaining he'd done about having to walk, Mitsuba's having a good time. He enjoys the time spent getting to just be normal with Kou more than anything.

“God, I can't wait until we find a good place to stop,” Kou mutters. He's definitely being dramatic the way he's slumped - his bag isn't that big, after all. “I brought so much stuff that I bet we won't even need.”

Mitsuba cocks his head, walking backwards so he can see Kou's face. “Like what?”

“First aid kit,” Kou replies, kicking a rock off of the path. “My raiteijou. Bug spray, even though I doubt there's any that'd bother us still around this time of year. Raincoat. Far too many snacks.”

“It's never too many snacks,” Mitsuba says, tapping his finger in the air. “You know I'll eat anything that you won't.”

He doesn't need to mention the fact that it's because his stomach is incapable of being filled and he's always, always hungry no matter what he puts in it.

“There should be a set of picnic tables nearby,” Kou says, glancing at his phone. “The signal's awful out here, but I've been here at least once before, so I know. Do you wanna stop up there to eat?”

Mitsuba shrugs, balancing along the edge of the path between the dirt and the grass. “I don't know. If there's people there, it might be a pain. It'll be too quiet for you to talk to me, won't it?”

Kou shrugs, pinching his lips together thoughtfully. “Mhm, I see your point. We'll see when we get up there, then.”

The sky is a soft blue today, only a few grey clouds crossing over. The further they get into the forest, the thicker the canopy becomes, and the harder it becomes to see above it. The light dims, but Mitsuba likes it that way. It's still fairly bright, but there are shadows for him to slip into and jump out at Kou when he doesn't expect it.

“Stop that,” Kou scowls, screwing up his face. Mitsuba can practically hear his heart pounding, pumping blood through his body. “It's not scary, it's annoying.”

Mitsuba grins. “Is that why you shrieked like a child?”

“I did not!”

“It happened two seconds ago, dumbfuck, don't try and gaslight me!”

“Where have you even heard that word?”

“Tsukasa taught me it!”

Despite their bickering, it's a really nice day, and by the time Mitsuba's finished with his bubble tea, they've reached the slope where the picnic benches and public bathrooms are.

Unfortunately for them, the tables are crowded with people. Not so many people that there wouldn't be room for them to sit, but enough that it'd be awkward for Kou to sit and talk to himself, even if he pretended to be on the phone like he usually does.

Mitsuba's about to suggest they sit down anyway, mostly because he can tell Kou's tired of carrying the bag and if he strains himself he'll end up miserable and then he won't be in the mood to entertain him anymore. However, before he can, Kou speaks up, tone bright and determined.

“We should keep going,” he says. “We can definitely find a better place to sit than this, where there won't be people.”

Then he pauses. “I am going to use the bathroom though. Be right back.”

Mitsuba's too surprised to say anything, and by the time his mind works well enough to conjure up thoughts again, Kou has already bound towards the bathrooms, bag thumping against his back.

It leaves Mitsuba with a couple minutes on his own that he doesn't do anything with in particular. He does go for a walk around the picnic tables, taking advantage of the fact that no one can see him to eavesdrop on their frankly uninteresting conversations. He even waves his hands in front of a few people's faces, giggling when they comment on there having just been a cold breeze afterwards, and steals a candy bar off a table.

“Where did you get that?” Kou asks when he returns. His shirt is damp, for some reason. “Mitsuba, did you steal that?”

“What happened to you?” Mitsuba deflects, not wanting to answer. Chocolate coats his teeth, disappearing down his throat and feeling like nothing in his stomach. “You're soaked.”

Kou glances down with a disgruntled sigh. “Sinks were broken and exploded on me. Mitsuba, who did you steal the candy bar from?”

Mitsuba shrugs, already walking away at a slightly increased pace. “Nobody, it's fine. No one's gonna notice a missing candy bar, you're honestly so dramatic, Kou.”

As if on queue, and entirely to spite Mitsuba, a child bursts into tears at one of the tables behind them.

“I didn't eat it!” she wails, kicking her little hiking boots. “I didn't, I really didn't! Yachi must have taken it!”

“Did not!” a smaller boy shrieks back. Everyone else in the area is turning to look at them as the parents struggle to calm the kids down, shushing them frantically. “Mom, she's lying, I'm not a thief!”

Kou shoots Mitsuba an absolutely withering look. 

He shrinks back, baring his teeth in a grimace. “That is not my fault.”

Kou rolls his eyes and swings his bag off his back, unzipping it to rummage around for something. Mitsuba sighs, already knowing what he's doing, because Kou Minamoto is the most predictable person on the entire planet.

He finishes his candy bar from afar as he watches Kou bring the kid a chocolate bar, claiming he wasn't going to finish all the snacks he brought before he went home anyway, and bowing towards the grateful parents as he flees.

Immediately, he's glaring at Mitsuba. “You'd seriously steal candy from a baby? Are you an evil villain in a movie?”

“In my defense, I did not know that candy bar belonged to a child,” Mitsuba says, and licks chocolate off of the corner of his mouth. “So… yeah. That's my defense.”

Kou palms his face, and Mitsuba snickers.

“You are just too eager to be good to everybody, Kou,” he says, hopping up a small incline in the path and landing neatly. “That kid would have gotten over a missing sweet, but you just have to make everyone happy, don't you?”

“It's called “being nice,”” Kou says dryly, making air quotes around his words. “You should try it, actually, Mitsuba, because it turns out that people are usually nice in return when -”

He yowls as Mitsuba hits him in the side with his stick.

“Ow, Mitsuba, God!” he yells, rubbing his side with a look of shocked betrayal. “Can you behave for five minutes, you absolute toddler?”

Mitsuba giggles, turning on heel to face the path. “Nope. Maybe next time.”

There's a suspicious pause, and Mitsuba is about to turn back around to see what Kou is doing before he hears a familiar jingling sound and is promptly walloped over the head with Kou's staff.

“Bastard!” he screams, clutching his head and nearly falling over. “What the hell, I didn't hit you that hard! And in the head, too! Are you trying to kill me?”

Kou laughs, face pink with mirth and no regret visible in his smile. “Next time I will. Quit being a pain or you're not getting any of these snacks, and some of them are really good, so you'll regret it.”

Mitsuba glowers. The pain in his head is already fading, but he pretends it still hurts, clutching his skull dramatically. “You'd hit a cute boy like me… domestic abuse, I tell you, domestic abuse!”

“Not what domestic abuse is,” Kou says with a sigh. He swings his staff into his left hand, seemingly resolving himself to carrying it instead of putting it back in the side of his bag again. “You had no qualms about hitting me.”

“Uh, yeah, ‘cause you're not a cute boy?” Mitsuba says, like he's an idiot. “You're an ugly, lame ass earring? I'm devastated that you put that back on, by the way, I seriously thought you were going through some character development and you'd finally realized you're too old for childish charms.”

Kou cracks a grin. “I can't believe you still won't shut up about this.”

Mitsuba sighs, crunching leaves underneath his feet. “You could definitely look good if you tried, Kou, it's agonizing that you don't even make an attempt. It's like you know that no matter how you clean up or dress, your personality will always drive girls away from you.”

“Oh, that's rich coming from you,” Kou scoffs, kicking his ankle and nearly tripping Mitsuba up. He raises his voice in pitch to a ridiculous degree, palming his cheeks and batting his eyelids. ““I'm Mitsuba, pyon, pyon, and I'm so cute, ignore how incredibly mean I am to everybody I've literally ever met!””

Mitsuba shrieks at the impression, although he's unable to stop himself from grinning wildly. “I do not fucking sound like that! You don't know me at all!”

“Yes you do,” Kou cackles, swatting Mitsuba's hands away as he tries to hit him. “You have absolutely no self awareness!”

Mitsuba pushes him aside with his scarf, nearly knocking him off the path. “You want to play the mimicry game?” he says loudly, as Kou stumbles. “I can do that too!”

He waves his stick around wildly, gripping it with both hands and pointing it at Kou. ““My name is Kou Minamoto!”” he says seriously, while Kou rolls his eyes. ““Remember it, stupid girly face!””

“You're just repeating something I said,” Kou dismisses, and pushes him back when he gets too close. “That doesn't count as an impression!”

Grinning, Mitsuba continues jabbing his stick at Kou. ““Begone, evil spirit! With the power of my evil lightning and ugly ass earring, I will send you back whence you came! Hyah! Hyah!”

“Stop hitting me with that!” Kou yelps. He whacks Mitsuba with his staff again, trying to defend himself against the stick attacks. “When have I ever said whence you came? You're making shit up!”

“Well, when have I ever said pyon, pyon?”

“I have literally heard you say that!”

They continue this back and forth for a moment until Kou pushes slightly too hard, and Mitsuba falls backwards, tumbling off the path and landing painfully on his back.

“Mitsuba!” Kou breathes, approaching to lean over him with wide, concerned eyes. “I'm sorry, I was too rough!”

The absolute wind has been knocked out of him by the impact, so it takes a moment for Mitsuba to reply. “Abuse!” he shrieks, the second he can. “You're an abuser, Kou, an evil, ugly earringed abuser!”

Kou's worried expressions flattens into an unimpressed glare. “And suddenly, I don't feel bad anymore.”

Mitsuba pushes himself up, feeling grass underneath his fingers, and glances behind him. “Hey, I'm off the path again,” he says, and cracks a mischievous grin as he gets back to his feet. “Oh, goodness, they're going to fine me and call my mommy!”

“Sto-op,” Kou groans, as Mitsuba takes slow, dramatic steps away from the path. “Those signs are all over the place to keep vandals, litterbugs and assholes who wanna hurt the animals away. Also, it's dangerous off of the path. You could fall in, like, a sinkhole or something.”

Mitsuba rolls his eyes at the dramatic, blatantly untrue proclamation. “Oh no, whatever will I do if I fall in a sinkhole, I won't be able to push myself up…”

“I wouldn't be able to push myself up, dingus!” Kou says exasperatedly, crossing his arms over his chest. “We should stick to the path, it's safer, and I don't really want to get fined.”

“What happened to being eager to obtain a criminal record?” Mitsuba says, widening his eyes. “We could find cool shit that no one else has seen before if we just go off the path a little bit. Don't be such a goody-goody. Besides, how are they gonna enforce anything on you? What are they gonna do, call your dad?”

Kou opens his mouth, probably to counter his first point, but freezes at Mitsuba's second. He looks thrown, and for a moment Mitsuba wonders if he went too far, but then Kou huffs out a surprised laugh. He shakes his head, glancing up and down the path as if to check if there's anyone around. Then, to Mitsuba's utter glee, he steps off the path with him.

“We're just gonna find a quiet place away from people where we can eat our lunch,” he says firmly, as Mitsuba giggles wickedly. “I'm not participating in anything that could get me in real trouble!”

“You already are,” Mitsuba coos, rubbing his hands together like a movie villain. Perhaps Kou had been correct about that comparison, after all. “I'm turning you into a delinquent, slowly but surely!”

He practically skips further into the forest with Kou in tow. He can hear the exorcist grumbling behind him, but he doesn't care. It's fun, convincing Kou to do things like this. Fun seeing how far Kou will go just because Mitsuba batted his eyelashes and asked for something. He'd joked previously that he had Kou wrapped around his finger, but he's starting to think it might be true, and it's kind of mind boggling.

Sometimes he still wonders, at the back of his mind, if Kou still does these things out of guilt for what had happened to the living Sousuke Mitsuba. Kou's told him before that it's not true, and Mitsuba ordinarily tries to believe it, but he just can't comprehend why Kou would be so eager to fulfill his every ridiculous wish if it weren't for something like that.

He's previously considered the idea that Kou maybe just has a crush on him, but the thought of that makes him dizzy, and it's so stupid anyway that he gets embarrassed just imagining it.

“What kind of snacks do you have in there, anyway?” he asks, to distract himself from that train of thought. “Tell me you brought peach slices. I will literally be so mad if you didn't.”

He looks back to see Kou holding a rock he must have picked up off the ground. He's using it to gently whack a tree he's standing in front of, a frown on his face.

“What are you doing?” Mitsuba asks flatly. He saunters back over to him, eyebrows raised. “Do you and this tree have a problem with each other?”

Kou huffs and tosses the rock aside, looking slightly annoyed. “I'm trying to make us a trail so we can get back to the path. Another reason why you're not supposed to leave it, by the way - if we get lost, we are extremely screwed. There's no signal anywhere around here.”

“Oh, as if you don't have a supernatural being with you,” Mitsuba says, waving off his concerns immediately. “You forget I can float and shit, I'd be able to see where we were. Not to mention I have these.”

He lifts the spiked ends of his scarf with a grin. Kou watches them move, eyebrows knit together tightly. He still doesn't look happy about it.

“Ok,” he says, unconvinced. “But if I die out here, it's entirely your fault.”

Mitsuba beams, poking his own cheek with the tip of his finger. “I'm willing to take responsibility for that.”

He grabs Kou's wrist and pulls him along, searching for the absolute perfect spot. “It has to have some kind of natural sitting area,” he says, peering around the trees in front of him. “Like a log or some rocks. I am not sitting directly in the dirt, I'd rather die. And it'd be nice if it had a pretty view. God knows I'll need something pleasant to look at since the only other person here with me is you.”

Kou ignores the jab and heaves out a sigh. “So nothing but very simple requests, yeah? I'm sure Mother Nature can fulfill those for you.”

Mitsuba screws up his face. “The fuck is Mother Nature? Is that a reference or something?”

“Uhh…” Kou hesitates. He lags behind again while he thinks, so Mitsuba drops his hand to scurry ahead again, scouting. “It's not, like - It's just a thing people say. Mother Nature is just the earth, basically. Like nature personified.”

“Why?” Mitsuba asks, biting back a snigger. “That's stupid. Is it like one of those anime things where they turn countries or foods or animals into people and they all kiss each other?”

Kou makes a noise of utter confusion. “What? Mitsuba, what the hell have you been watching?”

“I think you mean what have the students of Kamome Academy been watching,” Mitsuba corrects him with a grin. “Ask them why they're watching pervy anime at school. I promise you, it's not pleasant for me to witness either.”

Honestly, having the ability to see absolutely everything that occurs within the walls of the school gets exhausting, especially when the school is full of horny teenagers going through puberty. Mitsuba's seen things against his will that would make an ordinary human fall into a dead faint.

He kicks a stone high into the air, and notices absently that it's gotten darker. It's not supposed to rain, Kou had promised, so this doesn't bear good news. “How far are we off the path?”

“Uhh… a good bit, now,” Kou says, and Mitsuba hears him facing the other direction, bag and staff jangling with the movement. “Come on, Mitsuba, you have to have spotted somewhere that's at least somewhat satisfactory by now.”

Mitsuba shakes his head. “I don't want “somewhat satisfactory.” I want perfect.”

“Ugh,” Kou groans. “You're such a goddamn pain. I just want to eat my sushi.”

At this, Mitsuba perks up, turning his head to look at Kou. “What, you brought sushi?”

Kou nods, swiping sweaty hair off of his forehead. Despite the chill, humans still sweat if they overwork themselves. That's one thing Mitsuba finds disgusting about humans, amongst others. He's thinking about starting a list.

“Sushi, and ramune, and onigiri, and strawberry cake, and peach slices,” Kou tells him, waggling his eyebrows convincingly. “All for us if you can find a goddamn fucking place to sit down.”

That does sound good, and Mitsuba is so hungry. Always so hungry, stomach so empty it feels like there's a black hole inside of him. It rips through his body, tearing his flesh and chewing it up, dissolving him from the inside out.

“I love strawberries,” he says wistfully. He faces front again. “I guess I could stand to be less picky - hey, there's a clearing up here!”

He doesn't wait for Kou to catch up. He drops his stick and darts ahead, coming out into the clearing and glancing around it. It's almost perfectly circular and quite large, leaving several feet of space without any trees sprouting in the way, but the trees here have enormous, thick roots that look like they could be a comfortable place to sit. He wanders across the grass with a grin, already searching for the perfect place to sit as he scans the area.

“Wow,” he hears Kou say from behind. His shoes crack noisily over leaves and sticks as he approaches.“This is pretty nice. Can you hear running water?”

Now that he thinks about it, Mitsuba can. “It must be a nearby river or something,” he says, rushing to the edge of the clearing to peer through the trees, trying to spot it. “Hey, Kou, when we figure out where it is, I dare you to jump -”

He spins around to look at Kou when he talks and finds that there is no one there.

For a moment, everything is dead silent.

Mitsuba furrows his eyebrows. “Kou?”

He had just heard him come into the clearing, hadn't he? Now, he can't catch even a glimpse of him. It should be impossible for Kou to hide with his shock of blonde hair, enormous backpack and jingly staff. He's probably going to try and jump out at Mitsuba as revenge for all the times Mitsuba did it to him earlier. He tenses, grinning, trying to locate him before he can try.

“Good one, Kou,” he drawls, straining to hear any sign of him. “Real funny. Tell me, do you ever come up with any ideas on your own, or do you have to steal them from other -”

Kou's staff falls and hits the ground in front of Mitsuba's feet.

It splashes when it hits the shallow layer of water covering the dirt that Mitsuba swears hadn't been there seconds before, and bounces before it settles. It had landed with great force, like it had fallen from a height. For a very long moment, Mitsuba can't do anything but stare at it. Breaths coming shallowly, limbs locked in place.

The staff had fallen from somewhere above them.

Slowly, very slowly, Mitsuba lifts his chin. He doesn't want to. He'd rather do anything other than this. But he has to know, so he glances up a little bit at a time, to take in the canopy of the trees above him.

The second he does, he's wishing he had just run away instead.

Hanging above them is a massive, intricate web, spanning across the entire clearing, strung from the leaves and tree branches and blocking out the sun. Silk hangs downwards, broken strands spiraling towards the ground. None of this had been there seconds before, Mitsuba is certain. Things rustle amongst the silk, shivering coldly.

In the centre of the web is the largest spider Mitsuba has ever seen in his very short life.

Well - perhaps spider isn't exactly the correct word, but it's all Mitsuba can think of. Its body is thick and elongated, fat legs ending in spiky points stretching languidly in eight directions, something like fur rustling over its black flesh. It shifts, causing the entire clearing to shudder, the water under Mitsuba's feet rippling.

In the thing's front two legs is Kou. He's covered in something white - more silk, Mitsuba thinks distantly - and he's being slowly rotated as more of the stuff is drawn across his body, pinning his arms and legs together and rendering him completely immobile. His face is slack, eyes closed and lips parted, like he's unconscious. Like he's -

Mitsuba shakes his head, mouth open in a silent scream.

“Ah -” he starts, but can't get the sound out. “Ah -”

Suddenly, the supernatural's face twitches, and eight crimson eyes open to fix directly on him, black pincers flashing as it opens its mouth.

“Oh, I do apologize,” it says, in a deep, rumbling voice. “Was this yours?”

Mitsuba screams. Finally, his voice returns, and with it comes the ability to move his body again. He scrambles backwards, but trips over a stick in his path and falls on his ass, hands plunging into the cold, shallow water in an attempt to stop himself. This doesn't deter him, not when the largest supernatural he's ever seen is clicking its pincers at him, so he struggles back to his feet and bolts to the edge of the clearing. His heart is hammering against his chest so hard it could knock him out.

He should run away - he should run away and leave, save himself and go back to school where he's safe. All he wants to do is run. The only sane thing to do is run.

But the tiny, little part of Mitsuba that isn't a horribly selfish coward pipes up in his mind. Kou is up there. It has Kou.

If it were anyone else, anyone else, Mitsuba is ashamed to think he doesn't know whether he could have made himself stay. But it's Kou. It's Kou.

He stops in his tracks and turns on heel, raising the sharp ends of his scarf in warning. Tears prick the corners of his eyes, terror seizing him so completely that it's a shock he can still move, but he forces himself to stay.

Eyes fixed on Kou in the supernatural's legs. He's paler than Mitsuba's ever seen him.

The spider is looking at him, eyes blinking out of sync with one another, flashing red. It doesn't have a facial expression that Mitsuba can read, but he can tell it's thinking. It hasn't said anything else yet, just observing, taking Mitsuba in. His skin crawls.

Mitsuba swallows, forcing words out of his throat. “What - what - what are you d-doing to him?”

The supernatural clicks, its legs moving slowly along its web. “Why, I'm wrapping it up to save for later,” it says, sounding surprised that he even asked. “I've just eaten, see, and now I'm already being presented with another meal. How lucky I am, that so many silly humans are venturing into my domain today.”

Mitsuba whines. He's shaking badly, but does his best to stay steady. He eyes Kou's staff on the ground, and the expanse of space the spider's spindly limbs cover. His legs feel weak.

“You can't eat him,” he says, and his voice is suddenly stronger than before with the force of his conviction. “I - I need him back. He's off limits.”

“Oh?” the supernatural hums, blinking curiously. “I am terribly sorry, child, if this one belonged to you. But you see, so few humans wander this area that I have to take what I can get, even if it may belong to another supernatural. I apologize dearly, but I cannot give it back.”

Mitsuba shakes his head violently, flexing his fists uselessly. “I need him back.”

The spider laughs, low and raspy, with clicking sounds interspersed throughout. It's a foul sound. “If you wanted to eat it so badly, child, you should have staked your claim. This human was walking by your side, no restraints whatsoever. It was practically begging for me to scoop it up.”

“Is he alive?” Mitsuba blurts out. He's terrified to hear the answer, but he has to know. “Is he - is he -”

“Of course it's alive,” the supernatural hisses, annoyance evident in its tone. “I wouldn't kill a human only to save it for later, are you crazy? They rot so terribly quickly, and then they taste like ash and it's disgusting. No, I'm preserving it with my silk, see.”

It clacks its pincers in the direction of Kou's head, and a shriek escapes Mitsuba's throat before he can even move. The spider chuckles cruelly before relaxing, sinking back against its web.

“I've merely spiked its blood with a venom that keeps it from moving, so it doesn't squirm while I work,” it tells him, nonchalant. “You seem curious about my process. Is there something unique about this human at all?”

Mitsuba feels like he's pinned to the ground, trembling pathetically. Kou would have already saved him by now, if it were him who had been snatched up by a supernatural. Yet, here is Mitsuba, considering running away and leaving Kou for dead. He has to do something. Even if Kou is still alive now, he doesn't know what other effects that venom will have on his body, or how long it will be before the spider decides it wants to take a bite out of him. Mitsuba might not have long.

“Nothing at all,” he says, unable to keep his voice from shaking. “You wouldn't want to eat him anyway, he's - he's - j-just give him back to me, seriously, I'm not playing games!”

The supernatural is silent for a moment, and then it moves so quickly Mitsuba screams again, arms flying in front of his face reflexively to protect it. But the creature isn't coming to hurt Mitsuba. It's skittering closer to take a better look at him, clinging to its web just above his head. In the darkness of the canopy, it's hard to see it when its eyes are closed.

“So there is something unique about it,” the spider says triumphantly. “Is this why you hadn't eaten it yet? Does it have special blood? Where did you acquire it?”

“It's not anything like that!” Mitsuba yells. Against his will, the tears he'd been trying not to let fall spill down his cheeks. “I wasn't - I wasn't planning to eat him! It's not like that!”

“Ah?” the spider hums. It goes still, as if pondering the concept of this. “A human that you don't eat? What in the world is the purpose of that?”

It says this last part in a suspicious tone, as if implying something unpleasant. Mitsuba feels his face flush bright red, despite the seriousness of the situation.

“Nothing perverted, you freak!” he snaps. “He - he's my - he's my -”

He stops in his tracks before shouting, “He's my friend!”

The spider remains still. It even pauses in its wrapping of Kou, legs dropping away to leave Kou sticking to the web on his own.

Out of pure desperation, and without thinking of the consequences, Mitsuba suddenly lashes out with the end of his scarf, trying to reach Kou in the hopes that he'll knock him down.

“Ah, ah, ah,” the supernatural tuts, and makes a horrible schleeping sound that Mitsuba barely gets the chance to register before something hot and wet is shot into his leg, making him scream. He manages to duck away before any further projectiles are spat at him, yanking his scarf back over to him as he watches in horror while the spider squeezes Kou's body too tightly in spindly legs, hard enough to surely hurt.

“If it is true, for whatever reason, that you don't wish for this human to receive harm,” the supernatural warns, while Mitsuba pants with pain. “Then I would suggest not attempting to harm me, or -”

Its legs dig in, and Kou's face twists uncomfortably as they pierce his skin. Mitsuba cries out as the smell of Kou's blood pierces his nose, sharp and electric. The world goes black for a moment, everything too hot, nothing but the scent of blood existing in Mitsuba's mind.

“Stop,” he sobs, clutching at himself. His leg has nearly given out beneath him. The spider had spat some kind of dark silk at him that is burning his leg, tearing through his pant leg and sizzling his flesh. If he were human, it would be a life altering wound. As it is, it hurts badly enough that if it weren't for his scarf limbs, he wouldn't be able to stand. “Stop, stop, stop, don't hurt him, please, please!”

The spider gives that laugh again, clicking madly. “Alright, I'll settle down as long as you do,” it says, sounding somewhat amused. “How about you try telling me why and how it is that you are “friends” with a human?”

It says the word friends with a tone of deep contempt and sarcasm. Mitsuba swallows. The smell of blood hangs so heavily in the air it makes his head spin.

“It's not - your business,” he spits through gritted teeth. He sways in place, eyeing Kou where he hangs from the spider's legs. He has to figure out how to get the thing to drop him. His chest burns with determination and terror. “Why does it matter? I'm telling you, he's off limits! I won't let you hurt him!”

“But why is that?” the supernatural asks. It crawls across the canopy, and Mitsuba shudders, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end. “Humans and supernaturals aren't able to become friends. It's simply impossible. I mean, child, you do understand what that weapon of its is for, correct? I recognized the style of it the second I scooped it up. That's an exorcist weapon, child, for an exorcist to wield.”

“I know that, dumbfuck,” Mitsuba yells, digging his fingernails into his palms so hard it stings. “I know what he is, and he knows what I am! It doesn't matter to either of us!”

He's almost certain that arguing with this creature isn't going to do anything. He won't be able to convince it to let Kou go. But he has to try and get its guard down, one way or another, and to figure out what he's going to do, he needs to stall. Needs to think. What would Kou do, if Mitsuba were in trouble?

Kou wouldn't have even considered leaving Mitsuba behind. Guilt roils painfully in his eternally empty stomach.

“Is that so,” the spider drawls. It starts spinning silk around Kou again, and Mitsuba's heart sinks. “You're very young, aren't you, child? How old are you? My guess is that you're less than a year old. Is that correct?”

Mitsuba swallows, beginning to slowly pace around the clearing, searching for something, anything, that will be able to help him. God, if only Kou's bag wasn't still on his back. Mitsuba's sure it probably has at least one useful item in it that he could use right now.

“Doesn't matter,” he answers hoarsely, which is probably answer enough in itself. “It doesn't - why does it matter how old I am?”

The spider chitters, and the clearing seems to somehow get darker. “You're inexperienced,” it says certainly. “You're stupid. You don't know things. You're lucky enough to have a humanesque form, and therefore, humans who can see supernaturals will speak to you. Because of this, you become stupider. You start to think it's possible to coexist with a human being.”

Mitsuba shakes his head furiously, more frustrated tears rolling down his face. “You don't know anything -”

“You start to care for them, and they act as though they care for you in return. They still carry weapons in your presence, however. They can still kill you at any moment.”

“- You don't know anything about me!”

“Oh, but I can guess,” the spider clatters. Its legs knock against one another, and Mitsuba shrieks as he realizes the thing is descending from a string of silk, coming closer to him with eight glowing eyes, all fixated on him. “All supernaturals start off weak and stupid, even myself. Do you know what happens to the ones who don't eat, who love humans too much to harm one, who refuse to defend themselves?”

“I'm not powerless,” Mitsuba snarls. His skin crawls as the spider grows closer, but as it does, so does Kou. He can see blood staining his blue t-shirt under his jacket, and his heart jumps in his chest. “I'm - I'm extremely powerful. Y-you haven't even seen a fraction of what I can do!”

The spider wheezes, laughter wracking its body so hard it nearly drops Kou. Mitsuba's eyes widen, his hands itching to reach up and grab him.

“Supernaturals survive by killing humans,” the spider tells him, like Mitsuba doesn't already know. “This child could kill you in a heartbeat. Don't you want to tear its heart out and eat it?”

No, no, no, this can't be happening. Mitsuba claps his hands over his ears and whimpers like a child, trying desperately to sort through the storm that is currently his mind, trying to figure out a plan. Kou wouldn't just let him be eaten, and Mitsuba can't either. Mitsuba can't either.

“I - I don't,” he chokes, stepping back and kicking up water. “I don't eat humans. I don't need to.”

The spider quivers on its string, almost halfway down to where Mitsuba currently is. “Well, that's just not true, is it, child?”

Mitsuba opens his mouth, but the supernatural doesn't let him get a word out. “I can smell it on you,” it tells him. “How many humans you've eaten. You have a total of three, don't you? Three humans you've consumed. It doesn't make you much stronger, that's for sure. Three is nothing. But three is also a start.”

“It's not true,” Mitsuba pleads, as if saying so could possibly make it so. “I never meant - I never wanted to - It's not my fault! I didn't choose this! I was made hungry, I didn't choose that!”

“I understand,” the spider hums sympathetically. “You must be starving right now, aren't you, child? How long has it been since you've eaten?”

Mitsuba pants. Kou's blood smells stronger the further the spider gets to him. He feels his stomach contract, searching for something to consume to give him the energy he needs to survive. Searching for something it will never find.

“Not your business,” he snaps. He takes another step back, mind racing. “It's not your business at all!”

The spider is so close, now. Close enough that if Mitsuba glances up to meet its many eyes, its pincers will be nearly low enough to snap at his hair. The stupid red ribbon that Mitsuba tied his hair up with this morning clings on for dear life as strands of hair fall in his face, his rough movements having dislodged them.

He can't just grab Kou. The supernatural will kill him, Mitsuba's certain. He has to do something that will make the thing drop him. What had he done before that had made it do that? He already doesn't remember.

Now that it's close enough, Mitsuba can see the spider's face fully. Unnaturally wide and furry, eyes embedded deep into its flesh, pincers sharp and creaking as they open and close. Tipped with green - venom, Mitsuba realizes, the stuff it had shot at him. That's another risk. If he makes one mistake, the spider will dissolve his physical form and eat Kou before he's able to pull himself together.

An idea strikes, one so stupid it can't possibly work.

Instead of taking a step back this time, he steps closer, shaking in terror as he allows himself to approach the spider's face. He has to talk, has to say something, anything. Has to keep its attention on his face and nowhere else at all.

“I'm always hungry, no matter when I last ate,” he tells the thing angrily. “Why would I waste my time killing people when it won't matter five minutes afterwards? Why would I bother? You couldn't possibly understand what I'm feeling. I'm not the same kind of supernatural as you are.”

“Poor child,” the supernatural chitters. Its eyes blink, out of sync, colour flickering. “I can tell that you are different. So you really do feel hunger. Tell me, what does it feel like? I've never felt anything like it before, and before we finish our conversation, I'd love to know.”

Mitsuba swallows as the spider meets him at eye level. Kou is almost entirely invisible now, being clutched against the spider's… chest? He doesn't know spider biology at all. All he knows is that it's entirely focused on his words, and he has to make them count.

“It's like,” he starts, eyes glazing over. One hand makes its way to his stomach, feeling the emptiness below. “It's like being eaten alive. It's like there's a hole inside me and nothing ever fills it. A part of me that should have something there just doesn't, and I'm a - a hollow shell, being torn to pieces while I can't d-do anything about it.”

He grits his teeth. “It's agony. But I'm different from you. I'm not so weak that I can't fight through pain.”

With the end of his scarf, which had been creeping up behind the spider while its attention was on Mitsuba's face the whole time, he slices through the supernatural's silk and sends it crashing down.

He just barely manages to tumble out of the way, using the other end of his scarf to shield himself from the impact of the creature's fall, even as the spider stumbles over its many legs to get back up. Mitsuba swipes it away like it's nothing, getting his footing back and rushing over to where Kou has fallen. The silk has firmly pinned his arms to his chest, and his face is still slack and pale as a sheet, but Mitsuba can feel him breathing. Smell the blood pumping through his veins. Spilling weakly from puncture wounds in his sides, fresh and sharp, electrifying, tantalizing.

The spider roars, and Mitsuba throws himself fully over Kou's body, desperate to shield him from the creature's attempts to grab him back - so he's shocked when he realizes the thing isn't doing that at all. In fact, it's not shouting. It's laughing. Rumbling with laughter, uproarious laughter, shaking the clearing madly and making the silk hanging from above dance.

“Ah, you thought I didn't notice you moving?” it chuckles, and Mitsuba's chest squeezes, the air trapping inside his lungs. “I allowed you to do that, child. You see, I feel terribly sorry for you. You clearly haven't been guided correctly, clearly don't have enough supernatural influence in your life. So I'm going to help you become stronger.”

Mitsuba whimpers, feeling Kou's even breaths behind his back, freezing water nipping his wrists where they're propping him up against the ground. “I don't want that,” he wheezes. “I don't need that.”

“Yes you do,” the spider says. Now that it's on the ground, it looks even larger, taking up half the clearing with its wide body and even wider expanse of legs. Green venom drips from its pincers. “Yes you do, child. There isn't anything wrong with admitting you need help.”

Tsukasa's voice echoes through his mind. You just want someone stronger than you to take care of you, don't you, Mitsuba?

He shakes his head, adjusting his position so that he can grab Kou off of the ground and clutch him against his chest. Even the ends of his scarf wrap around him, cocooning him to keep Kou's fragile body safe.

“I don't need you,” he whispers, voice wavering. “I'm taking my friend and leaving.”

The supernatural tilts the upper half of his body, as if trying to cock its head. Its eyes glitter, and Mitsuba wonders what its true intentions are. What it really wants Mitsuba to do.

“Child,” it says, sympathy dripping from its voice like venom. “The smell of that humans blood is driving you crazy, isn't it?”

Mitsuba freezes. Holds Kou close, feels their hearts beating in tandem.

“What?” he breathes, barely managing to shake his head. “What? No, no, of course not. I don't want to hurt him.”

“But you do,” the spider insists. It creeps closer, limbs groaning. “You're starving, and its blood is draining the humanity right out of you. You want to hurt it. You want to eat it.”

Mitsuba breathes, in and out. Feeling Kou do the same against him.

“I don't,” he lies, voice small. “I could never hurt him.”

The supernatural makes a sound like it's sighing. It's so large it's towering over Mitsuba and Kou, especially in the sitting position they're in. Mitsuba has never felt so powerless. Mitsuba has never felt so hungry.

“Because you're so young, and because I'm so generous, and because I haven't spoken to another like you in so, so long,” the spider says. “I'll allow you to share it with me. I'll even allow you to eat its heart.”

Dizziness overcomes Mitsuba so violently he fears he might pass out. His grip on Kou tightens. Artificial blood thrumming through artificial veins from an artificial heart.

“I can't,” he sobs. “I can't.”

The coppery electric smell is so overwhelming it's making drool gather in his mouth. He swallows it back, but he's just so hungry that it's impossible to dismiss. The black hole in his stomach tears him open from the inside, and human blood has never been more enticing. Kou's blood has never been more enticing.

The truth that Mitsuba hates admitting to himself is that ever since biting Kou's hand that day at the aquarium and getting a taste of his blood, it's all he's wanted to eat.

He doesn't want anything else. Nothing else fills him up, nothing else ever has. Sometimes he'll stagger through the school halls and kill a wandering supernatural with a sob on his lips and when he bites into its still-throbbing heart, pumping blood all over his hands and chest, he'll close his eyes and pretend it's Kou's.

Had eating satisfied him before he bit Kou? He doesn't remember. Those memories, those three people he killed, remain so fuzzy in his mind he can't even recall exactly what happened to him. He can vaguely hear himself stammering apologies, screaming, blood dripping from his face, his hands, everything.

All he knows is that Kou's blood had been the sweetest thing he'd ever tasted. More than peach slices or strawberry cake or bubble tea. He's been longing for it every single day since the aquarium.

He's been hating himself for it every day since then too.

He's sobbing so hard he can't breathe. Holding Kou close, one of his hands unconsciously flattening against his chest. All it would take would be to dig his fingers in.

The spider has been silently watching Mitsuba's hysterical breakdown, but now, it speaks up again. “Oh, child,” it says. “You've been rebelling against your true nature for so long. I promise you, it will be the most wonderful feeling in the world to just give in to instinct. There won't be anything else holding you back anymore.”

“I can't,” Mitsuba cries. “I c-can't, he's important to me.”

“You want to eat it,” the supernatural states. “You want to kill it.”

“Of course I do!” Mitsuba yells up at the thing, unable to see through the endless supply of tears. “It's all I've wanted for - It's all I've - but I can't hurt him like that, I can't!”

“You can,” he hears the spider say. “Come on, child, I grow impatient. My offer won't last much longer.”

Mitsuba stares at Kou's slack, unconscious face. He could kill him in a second flat. He wouldn't feel a thing.

No one knows Kou is out here with Mitsuba today. No one would ever even suspect him.

He'd be able to walk back to school and no one would ever know. Not even Teru Minamoto would ever be able to figure out what had happened. Mitsuba would get away scot free.

His hands tighten on Kou's shirt, above his slowly beating heart. His stomach screams to be filled, aching for something to consume.

His breathing slows as he thinks about it. Remembers Kou's ocean blue eyes, how they'd glitter when he was about to say something that he knew Mitsuba would be annoyed by.

But Mitsuba's so fucking hungry, and no one would ever know.

The spider creeps closer. Fascinated by Mitsuba's actions, curious to see what his next move will be. Mitsuba imagines killing Kou and then leaving this boundary, leaving this supernatural to continue killing innocent people who happen to stray off the path. Something deep inside of him aches, and this time, it isn't the hunger.

He breathes, and moves faster than he ever has in his life.

One end of his scarf slashes out directly in front of him, causing the spider to howl in a way that makes Mitsuba want to clap his hands over his ears. But he can't, because his arms are firmly around Kou as he uses the other end of his scarf to pull himself out of the way of the spider's next attack, which he knows is incoming, and sees after he tumbles to the ground a few feet away. Sticky green silk coats the dirt where Mitsuba had just been. It sizzles in the water, causing it to bubble hotly.

“So you have made your choice,” the supernatural breathes. Its eyes flash, a horrible dripping slice through its flesh where Mitsuba's scarf had made contact. Behind it, Mitsuba can see the air rippling, like something's gathering there. “Neither of you will make it out of here alive.”

“Go fuck yourself,” Mitsuba spits, and dodges another attack.

Kou is heavy. Not so heavy that Mitsuba can't hold him with his supernatural strength, but the bag is a problem, so Mitsuba takes a moment to wrench it off of his back, hoping he hasn't just injured his arms in the process and tossing the thing to the ground. In his arms, Kou is much lighter now, and Mitsuba clings to him desperately, terrified to drop him.

The problem here is that because Mitsuba is protecting Kou, he can't attack at full strength, and the spider knows it. It moves relentlessly, nothing holding it back, and Mitsuba knows he won't be able to continue if he receives another injury like the one on his leg. He has to figure out how to escape, but every time he reaches the edge of the clearing, the spider is there again, swatting him away.

He pants, pausing for a moment to assess the situation. Kou is holding him back, but he's too scared to let him go.

The supernatural laughs, clacking its pincers as it watches Mitsuba's internal struggle. “Child, please, give it up,” it tells him. “All you had to do was allow me my meal. Why are you so determined not to kill this human?”

“I already told you,” Mitsuba manages, breathing shakily. “H-he's important to me, and I won't hurt him.”

More green silk is fired directly at him. Mitsuba just barely manages to twist away, and even then, he feels the ends of the silk collide with his face. He screams in agony, feeling his own skin melting upon impact, blood streaming down his cheeks.

He can't do this. He isn't strong enough.

If he'd just eaten enough, if he'd just listened to Tsukasa -

God, if only Tsukasa were here. God, if only Kou was awake. God, if only Mitsuba wasn't alone. He barely knows how to seriously defend himself.

What is he supposed to do?

The spider moves so much faster now that it's not holding back, and Mitsuba can't follow. If he keeps evading, he won't manage to land another hit, and Kou will eventually die.

He glances down at Kou's face. His eyes are still closed, breathing slow.

“Fuck,” Mitsuba whispers. “Oh, fuck.”

He takes a breath and sets Kou on the ground, gently, so as not to aggravate his wounds. They don't look deep, just shallow enough to draw blood, but the smell is still maddening, and it's taking every ounce of self control in Mitsuba's body not to do something insane that he would regret. He lets out a shuddering sigh as Kou comes into contact with the water and shivers.

Mitsuba steps over him, glaring at the supernatural, as if daring it to do anything. It watches his actions with pure intrigue, its set of crimson eyes blinking slowly. For a moment, neither of them move again.

“How dangerous,” the spider says pleasantly. “Aren't you worried I'll attack it while you're unable to protect it?”

Mitsuba shakes his head. “I'm not going to let you do that.”

His scarf rises above his head, doubling in size and width, cloth turning to sharp claws. Outside of the school, this is the only ability Mitsuba still has access to, his only method of defense and attack. God, though, if it isn't good at what it does. Mitsuba will not let Kou get hurt any more.

His scarf zips in the direction of the spider. His only saving grace here is the fact that the other supernatural is big, very big, and Mitsuba is incredibly small in comparison. He lands a hit on one of its legs, and it's unable to strike back because Mitsuba has already moved. Outside of the clearing, the sky is black. Mitsuba can't see anything but trees and water and Kou's unmoving body and the spider launching an attack on him.

Another glob of green silk flies, and Mitsuba prepares to dodge it before he realizes, almost too late - the spider isn't aiming for Mitsuba. His scarf only just manages to block the blow that was hurtling in the direction of Kou, and he grits his teeth against a scream at the pain as the venom sizzles against the cloth and burns right through it. The end of Mitsuba's scarf wobbles and falls, landing in the water with a weak plop. He tries to extend the limb again, but the venom bubbles through him, leaving Mitsuba with one less weapon to work with.

Terror grips him so hard he feels faint. 

I'm seriously going to die, he thinks. I'm going to die and so is Kou, and it will all be for nothing.

He has one end of his scarf left, and without it, he won't be able to defend himself or Kou. He has to be more careful, especially if the spider has decided that killing Kou is its priority over stopping Mitsuba. His heart rams against his chest.

He grabs one of the spider's back legs, out of the range of its venom, and pulls, covering his face with his hands. The thing jabs at him with its front legs instead, and Mitsuba pulls himself away, trying to gather more limbs together so it won't be able to swing at him anymore. Silk hisses past his ear, and he winces at the sickly smell. That's still a problem, too.

“Give up,” the supernatural demands. It sounds incredibly irritated, and Mitsuba realizes, suddenly, an advantage that he has. The spider had told him that he was the first supernatural it had seen in a long time, which must mean it hasn't fought one in a long time, either. Mitsuba can't imagine any of its previous human victims had been able to put up much of a struggle, so it can't have much experience with fighting. Mitsuba, at the very least, knows how to, and he's smaller and faster.

“Can't make me,” he taunts, and leaps into the air above the thing, yanking its legs along with him to try and trip it up. If he can get it on its back, he can figure out where its heart is. If he can get to that -

He shrieks as silk is fired directly at his face, and only just barely dodges it, twisting out of the way and tumbling back to the ground.

Pain sears through his back, so agonizing that he finds himself screaming, and he realizes, dimly, that the spider had tricked him. It couldn't reach Mitsuba's scarf, not unless he moved directly into its collision course.

Stupid, he thinks distantly, as he wails in pain from his place on the ground. So stupid, stupid human instincts. Should have just let it hit my face.

“A well fought battle,” he hears the spider say. Its legs come down on either side of his body, eight crimson eyes staring down at him triumphantly. “How unfortunate it is for you that you have nothing left to defend yourself with. At the very least, you can go back to the Far Shore knowing that your friend will be very well taken care of, by me.”

Absolutely not. Mitsuba won't allow it.

He can't just die and leave Kou alone.

He turns his head, desperately searching for something that could save him. All he can see is trees, and water, and silk, and -

Something gold glittering in the water.

The supernatural lifts a repulsive, hairy leg and brings it down on Mitsuba -

And Mitsuba stabs the end of Kou's staff through it.

It screams, recoiling, and Mitsuba yanks the staff from its flesh and scrambles back to his feet. Black blood spurts from the wound, spilling into the water. With the way it's reacting, Mitsuba can't imagine the supernatural had been hurt like this in a long time. It won't be able to just walk it off like Mitsuba can.

Now that Mitsuba's had a view from underneath it, he knows where to go. So while the thing is howling, most likely preparing another strike to get Mitsuba away, he ducks back underneath the spider and plunges Kou's staff into its heart.

He yanks, hard, and the heart tears free, spilling blood all over Mitsuba. 

He splutters, launching himself backwards as the supernatural flails, wheezing. Clearly, it hadn't expected another supernatural to ever dare to touch an exorcist’s weapon - Mitsuba hadn't expected it from himself either. Kou is always carrying this stupid staff around, and he only jabs Mitsuba with it when he's being really annoying, but it should still be scarier. Maybe if he had a sword like his brother, that would be different. There's something so much more threatening about that than the staff, with all its sharp edges and promises of pain.

Mitsuba races back to Kou's side, pulling the bleeding heart off of the edge of his staff and flicking the blood off into the water. He watches, standing in front of Kou's body in case the supernatural manages to get one more hit off, as the thing crumples to the ground, its legs folding underneath it and pained wails escape from its pincers.

“See,” Mitsuba breathes, “that's the difference between you and me. You wait in the shadows like a c-coward for helpless, unsuspecting humans to come wandering in your direction. If I want something, I take it, from cruel creatures like you.”

The supernatural shudders, lungs groaning as the life fades from it. Its eight eyes flicker, the glow turning dull. It lets out a faint croaking sound that Mitsuba thinks is a sob, but realizes after a moment is a strained laugh. Somehow, it's still finding something funny.

“You foolish child,” it whispers, voice fading. “I was only trying to survive, the same as you.”

Mitsuba watches as its eyes close and it stops moving entirely. Its form shudders, and then crumbles, disappearing into flecks that fade into the wind like dust.

There's a long moment in which he doesn't move, too stunned from what's just happened, before he collapses to his knees.

He's still holding its heart. Kou is still bleeding behind him.

He can't do anything but stare numbly where the supernatural just was, eyes wide and glassy. The heart still pulses in his hand, slower now. Thump. Thump. Thump.

A sob escapes from his throat, then another, the horror of everything that's just occurred sinking in. He'd nearly just died. He'd nearly just lost Kou.

He'd nearly just killed Kou. He'd been so tempted, he'd been so close, he'd been justifying it in his head and planning what to do once he'd done it. Animalistic urges powering his thoughts, making him inhuman.

He doubles over, dropping Kou's staff to clap his hand over his mouth and muffle the sobs. He doesn't know why he's suddenly crying again - maybe it's the pain from all the injuries sustained during the battle, maybe it's the terror from what he'd nearly done. He won't be able to stand again. The hunger is tearing his stomach to shreds, and his body reacts in tandem, pieces of his body beginning to detach from himself as the black hole in him starts to consume everything that holds him together.

He spares a glance over his shoulder at Kou. He's lying on his back, face slack, and the silk binding him has started to come undone. Mitsuba can see the bloody wounds on his sides, four decently sized scrapes that are no longer openly bleeding, but still carry that tantalizing smell. It makes Mitsuba's mouth water, even as he bites down on his own hand to try and stop it. He's repulsed by the urge to hurt the person he'd just fought so hard to protect.

Bile gathers in his throat, and he just manages to turn his head before he vomits weakly. There isn't anything in his stomach to throw up, so there's nothing but clear fluids that dissipate in the water below. His head spins. He's clutching the heart so hard he briefly worries he might burst it.

Clearly, he can't do anything for Kou while he's in this position. He can barely stay sitting up with the way he's falling apart. Even with how hungry he is, even with how badly he needs it, he wants to do anything in the world except eat the spider's heart. Just the thought makes him gag again, more tears falling down his face.

He's such a mess. If Kou was awake right now, he'd be so disgusted with him.

If Kou had not only heard him admit that he regularly thought about eating his heart, but had genuinely nearly acted on it, Mitsuba doesn't even know what he'd do. His blood runs cold just imagining it. He glances back at him. Kou is still unconscious.

His back is starting to ache, unable to keep him sitting up anymore, so he squeezes his eyes shut and brings the heart to his mouth. Blood pools on his tongue, soaking his teeth in the stuff, dribbling down his throat. He clamps a hand over his mouth so he doesn't vomit again and it comes back with bloodstains.

It tastes amazing, and it's so revolting. It's the only thing that even slightly satisfies Mitsuba at all, and the only thing that keeps him together after the Severance. It's disgusting. It's disgusting. It's the best thing he's ever eaten.

He wishes it was Kou's, and that is such a horrible thought that he wishes that spider could have killed him after all.

He manages to get it down, shivering, still crying quietly. Everything aches so badly he can't even think. It feels like he's in some kind of nightmare scenario, like his own boundary had turned against him and showed him his own worst fear, bringing it into reality.

“M’tsuba?”

He stiffens, eyes flying open at the sound. Without thinking, he whips around, crawling in Kou's direction to observe him, breaths quickening at how out of it he'd sounded.

Kou's eyelids flicker between open and closed, pained moans escaping him as he shifts slightly, clearly recognizing that he's partially restrained and trying to free his arms. Mitsuba swallows down the last of the heart, reaching out for Kou and tugging at the silk. He's eaten enough to regenerate his scarf, and he's able to use it to gently slice the silk away, letting Kou out so he's able to move freely.

He whines, face scrunched up, before he finally manages to fully open his eyes and look up at Mitsuba.

Mitsuba realizes, just slightly too late, that he's in such a state, bloody and ruined and disgusting. He must make for a startling sight to see when Kou's just woken up, so he claps his hands over his stained mouth, turning his head away so he can't be seen anymore.

However, when Kou speaks, his hoarse voice is full of concern. “What… Mitsuba, you're hurt, what happened?”

Against his will, more stupid tears gather in his eyes, and a sob forces its way out of him. Mitsuba hates himself for it. Kou is confused and hurt and Mitsuba is doing nothing to help him at all, just crying like a baby instead of doing something helpful.

He hears Kou grunt in pain, and turns back to see he's trying to push himself up, which sends panicked shocks through Mitsuba's body. “St-stop that,” he chokes out, voice shaking badly as he throws out a bloody hand to keep Kou down. “You're h-hurt, stop, you'll m-make it worse.”

Kou looks up at him through his lashes, stormy eyes fixed wholly on him, and it makes him uncomfortable in a way that Kou so often does to him. Mitsuba tenses further, unable to stop more tears from flowing at how seriously worried Kou looks. As if he's not the human one, as if he's not the only one whose injuries matter.

“What happened?” Kou asks again, blinking slowly. “All I remember is… I was hearing running water, and I was gonna ask you if you thought we were near a river, and then something grabbed my waist.”

He scrunches up his face, letting out a soft groan. “Ugh… everything hurts. Did we seriously get attacked?”

Mitsuba just nods, and then more sobs wrack his body and he can't stop. He hugs himself tightly, doubling over himself in tears, stupidly upset, angry at himself, terrified, not knowing what to do about any of it.

“Mitsuba,” he hears, and Kou's voice is so soft and gentle that it only makes him cry harder. “Mitsuba, hey, I need you to explain what happened.”

Something touches his face and he jolts, cracking his eyes open to see that Kou has sat up despite Mitsuba's advice not to. He's reaching out for Mitsuba, eyes wide, and for a moment all Mitsuba can think is - you wouldn't want to be so close to me if you knew what I'd nearly done to you.

However, Kou wants an explanation, and he has to pull himself together for long enough to give one. “It was - some k-kind of supernatural,” he manages, shaking so hard it hurts. “A giant spider, it was - spinning you in silk s-so it could - it had venom, it knocked you out - it was going to -”

He can't bring himself to finish a full sentence, especially not that last one.

“Holy shit,” Kou breathes, a look of horror crossing his face. “A giant spider - and you took care of it all by yourself?”

Mitsuba doesn't say anything, and Kou seems to take his answer as a yes, because without warning, he reaches out and pulls Mitsuba into a tight hug.

“Holy shit,” he repeats, trembling against Mitsuba's chest, his breaths coming quickly. “You - Mitsuba, you saved my life.”

Mitsuba bursts into peals of sobs, and Kou hugs him closer, and all it does is make him feel worse. He hadn't saved Kou's life. He'd dragged him off the path in the first place, nearly gotten him killed by a spider and then nearly tore his heart out and ate it himself, just because he was hungry.

He's just eaten and he's already hungry again. The black hole inside of him opens up again, screaming for something to fill it, and even if the wounds the spider had landed on him have healed, everything hurts so much worse than before. He'll never be satisfied. He'll never be full. He'll always be like this - a monster in the shape of a teenage boy, a cannibal, an animal, biting the hand that feeds him.

“It's ok, Mitsuba,” Kou murmurs against the crook of his neck. “It's alright, you did it, you got us both out.”

Mitsuba just shakes his head, because Kou doesn't understand. Kou doesn't know what kind of person he is. Kou doesn't get how dangerous he is.

He should stay away, far away from him, and just the thought makes his artificial heart ache, because Kou is the most important thing in the world and Mitsuba is a million miles away from him, disgusting and broken, a feral, untamed beast pacing the shadows, desperate to be seen.

“Mitsuba?” he hears Kou say, and he realizes, faintly, that Kou must be incredibly spooked by the way he's acting, which only makes the situation worse. He's scaring him, and for once, it's not funny. It's not funny at all.

“‘M fine,” Mitsuba manages, even though it's not true, even though it's the biggest lie he's ever told. “Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Kou, I'm sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for?” Kou laughs, sounding somewhat confused. His arms are warm around Mitsuba's chest, even through his jacket sleeves. “You're fine, I'm fine, it's ok. We're both ok.”

“Got you hurt,” Mitsuba says tearfully, hiding his face like a child against Kou's neck. “I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.”

There's a brief silence, and then Kou pulls away. There's a strange look on his face, eyebrows knit together, eyes far away.

“What's wrong?” Mitsuba asks.

Kou blinks, then looks up again at Mitsuba. His lips part, and Mitsuba can practically hear the cogs in his brain turning as he thinks. The silence is freaking him out, especially after everything that's just happened and without knowing what's going on in Kou's head.

“What?” he says again, slightly louder. “Kou?”

Slowly, Kou shakes his head. “It's fine, I just…” He palms his forehead, fingers white. “I've got a really bad headache, that's all.”

That's definitely not all, but frankly, Mitsuba doesn't have the energy to overanalyze whatever Kou might be thinking about. There will be plenty of time to do that later, to freak out and cry alone in his boundary, but right now, Kou is still injured and he's not going to heal as easily as Mitsuba did.

He gets to his feet, swaying slightly, and glances around the clearing to find Kou's bag. He brings it over to him, legs still wobbling despite the fact that his injuries are already gone. Kou watches him do this, expression still flickering and face still pale, but at the very least not looking like he's on the verge of passing out again anymore.

“You said you had a first aid kit in here,” Mitsuba says, trying to sound like his usual self again, but his voice comes out strained and weak, still wavering. “I d-don't think those cuts are deep, but it'd be better to bandage them than not, if you can.”

Kou watches him carefully while he's rooting through his bag, clearly concerned. Mitsuba just stares at the blood soaking his hands until his vision blurs.

“Hey,” Kou suddenly says, and Mitsuba snaps to attention to see he's being handed - a packet of baby wipes. “You're still… I mean, you might need these.”

Mitsuba swallows, and pulls out a wipe to try and clean his hands. His hands shake and he drops it into the water, cursing softly at his own incompetence. Despite having eaten that heart, he still can't keep himself together. He's just falling apart in a different way.

Suddenly, Kou's hands are on his, taking the wipes from him to remove one from the packet. He holds Mitsuba's hands gently as he scrubs the blood off of them with his own stained hands. Mitsuba holds his breath, terrified to move in case it ruins everything.

Then Kou raises his hands to Mitsuba's face. His eyes are fixed on his mouth as he wipes the blood off of him, so unbelievably gentle it makes Mitsuba's head spin. Feeling the pad of Kou's thumb brush his lips aches in the deepest part of his artificial heart, and if he closes his eyes, he can almost pretend that they're on a lunch date and Kou is cleaning cake crumbs off of his face, laughing about how messily Mitsuba eats. He can almost pretend this is normal. 

That's one of Mitsuba's favourite things to do. Sometimes he rewatches Sousuke's life through the mirrors in his boundary and imagines that that's him, instead, doing his homework and listening to music on his MP3 player and living and eating and breathing.

Of course, the moment passes. Kou winces in pain, and Mitsuba's blood runs cold remembering. “Patch yourself up,” he says, pushing Kou's hands away. He's extremely dizzy. He's never fainted before, but he might now. “Stop fussing over me.”

“You're upset,” Kou says quietly. “This is barely a scratch. I'm worried about you.”

Kou, worried about him. It takes everything in him not to start bawling again.

“I'm fine,” he says firmly. “I'm just - I don't like spiders, and it was huge, Kou, you definitely don't want to have seen it.”

He's lying, and he's certain Kou knows it. Mitsuba's not scared of spiders. There's a million of them living in the broadcasting room, and Tsukasa refuses to let them squish them no matter how much Natsuhiko whines. Hopefully, though, there's no way for Kou to know what Mitsuba's actually upset about. At worst, he might think he was crying because he was worried about Kou's injuries, which would be embarrassing, but still better than the real answer. Better than the truth.

Kou pulls his shirt up without much warning, and Mitsuba turns his head away, face hot. He hears Kou whining about how cold and wet his jacket is, and suddenly remembers their food, one of the main reasons they came out here. It's probably ruined with how much Kou's bag had been tossed around and rolled in the water. He doesn't bother to ask about it.

A few minutes pass before he spares Kou a glance, and sees him very neatly tying a bandage around his stomach. Kou catches him looking and grins awkwardly.

“Sometimes Teru gets injured, and I make him let me help him,” he explains. “It's rare, but I want to be prepared in case he needs me, so I know how to do stuff like this.”

“Promise you'll have your brother look at that when you go home,” Mitsuba says. He fists his torn pant legs, shivering as the water laps against them. “Just in case it's bad. I know it seems like whatever that spider jabbed you with has faded by now, but you have to be careful.”

Kou hesitates. “Uh, I -”

“Promise,” Mitsuba repeats forcefully, and Kou startles, flinching at the volume. For a moment afterwards, the forest is silent.

“Ok,” Kou agrees. “Promise.”

Together, they get to their feet. Kou slings his bag over his chest so he can root through it, frowning. Mitsuba swallows blood, feeling it hot in his throat.

“Is everything ruined?” he asks, in a tone that's supposed to be light and airy but probably doesn't come across that way.

To his surprise, Kou shakes his head. “No. Some of this is salvageable.”

He pulls something out and hands it to Mitsuba. A small plastic cup and a spoon to go with it.

“Your peach slices survived,” Kou says with a grin. “Thank God, am I right?”

Mitsuba stares at the floating slices of orange fruit in the cup. Watches them crash against each other when he tips it.

“Thanks,” he mumbles, blinking rapidly.

Together, the two of them exit the boundary, and suddenly the sun is back. Kou sighs, warmth probably hitting his skin, and Mitsuba stares at the weirdly contented look on his face with confusion. How can he look like that after he could have just died? Why isn't he more scared, more angry? Mitsuba doesn't know. He never knows what Kou is thinking.

“Are you still hurting?” he asks, his own voice sounding foreign even to himself.

Kou glances at him, tilting his head and frowning. “Oh,” he says. “No. My body is super stiff, and I do have a headache, but the scrapes don't hurt, if that's what you mean. I'm fine, so stop worrying about me.”

“How could I?” Mitsuba blurts, without thinking. He rushes forward, grabbing the opening of Kou's jacket and pulling him closer. “How aren't you freaking out more? You almost just died! If I hadn't - you were - I mean, you had to rely on me to save you, shouldn't that freak you out? I could have gotten you killed!”

I could have killed you, he doesn't say.

Kou looks surprised by his sudden admission. He reaches up to touch Mitsuba's hand where it's clinging to his jacket, laying atop it gently.

“Mitsuba,” he says, tone serious. His eyes are so bright in the sun, hints of grey lining his pupils. “You saved my life. Why would I be freaking out? You killed the thing that was in there and saved anyone else who might have ended up wandering into the supernatural's path, too.”

He spares a glance back into the clearing, eyebrows knit together. It looks sunny in there, now - you wouldn't be able to tell what it housed just by looking at it. “Although,” he says, “I'm definitely going to have to tell Teru to come out here and cleanse this place, just in case.”

Mitsuba lets go of Kou, dropping his hand back to his side. Utterly defeated.

“Like you did with the shapeshifter at the waterworks?” he asks. He remembers Kou telling him how he'd encouraged his brother to take a look at that, too, in case the supernatural inside had somehow revived.

Kou nods. “I don't have to tell him we were out here, but I'll make sure he knows this place might not be safe.”

Mitsuba's gaze drops to Kou's side, where his bandages are hidden underneath his jacket. Concern fills his hollow stomach, making nausea roll within him.

“But you will have him look at those?” he asks. He doesn't need to clarify what he means by those. “It could get infected, Kou, I doubt boundary water is clean and you got it all over you.”

“I will,” Kou insists. He cracks a smile, and reaches out to punch Mitsuba's shoulder playfully. “I do think our attempt at a picnic might be something we'll have to put off for another day, but we can eat what's remaining of it on our way back.”

Mitsuba nods and stares at his peach cup. Hunger gnaws at the lining of his stomach, craving more blood, always so demanding.

He startles as hands touch his own, Kou tearing the lid off of his peach cup and smiling as he gestures at it.

“Eat up,” he says, and starts walking slowly back towards the path, or at least, Mitsuba assumes that's where they're going. “Maybe it'll make you feel better.”

“You know I don't need to eat this kind of stuff,” Mitsuba mumbles. But he does dip the spoon in and slip a few pieces of peach into his mouth. The sweetness spreads over his tongue. When he swallows it, the black hole in his stomach consumes it within seconds and he's hungrier than before.

He keeps eating, though, because it tastes good. His face is salty with leftover tears, and he scrubs at it, embarrassed of his behaviour.

If Kou's not freaking out about what just happened, then Mitsuba should calm down too. However, all he can think about is; am I destined to end up hurting Kou? Is that my fate? If I keep being friends with him, if I keep letting myself care more and more about him, am I going to end up killing him one day?

Mitsuba is a monster. He's known that all his life. Regardless of what Kou tells him, he knows damn well what he is. A grotesque amalgam of murdered supernaturals formed in the image of a dead teenage boy, a six month old cannibal with a girly voice and a broken hand and an empty stomach, a puppet for Tsukasa to control. A monster. A thing. Something inhuman, and wholly disgusting.

Then there is Kou Minamoto. Sure, he can be mean and snarky, and he doesn't tolerate any of Mitsuba's shit, but he's also so incredibly patient it aches. So thoughtful it blows his mind. He cares so, so much, and people like him. He's unbearably kind, unbearably human, and Mitsuba's so jealous of him that sometimes he wants to eat his heart.

No wonder Sousuke liked him. Mitsuba sees him in the mirror, leaning on his fist and staring at Kou from across the room with a lovesick look on his face that morphs into one of disinterest any time someone else glances his way, and he thinks: yeah. I get it.

Mitsuba's in love with him too.

“I can't believe I finally make the decision to go on a walk in nice weather to heal myself and I get attacked by a supernatural,” he hears Kou saying, and comes back to the present. He's shaking his head, lips pinched. “Maybe next time, we'll just… walk along the harbour, or something. At least there's fresh air there.”

Mitsuba bobs his head robotically, not really listening. He's never been to the harbour, and the thought intrigues him, but he doesn't say so aloud.

You can't keep hanging around him, an evil voice whispers in the back of his mind. You have to let him go.

Kou wastes so much time with him. He could have invited Yashiro out here with him, or his friends Satou and Yokoo, and then he wouldn't have gotten hurt. Wouldn't have strayed off the path at all. Mitsuba is using him up, selfish as always. His mind is so muddled it's hard to think at all.

“Mitsuba?”

He looks up, and Kou is staring at him. His expression is completely unreadable. Mitsuba wishes he knew what he was thinking.

“What?” he asks, trying not to sound too miserable. He's sure he fails.

Kou opens his mouth, then closes it again. He stops walking and raises a hand. It hangs suspended in the space between them, not quite reaching out, not quite going anywhere.

Then he reaches for Mitsuba's head and brushes his hand across it. The physical contact against his scalp is electric.

“You had a leaf in your hair,” Kou says.

Mitsuba just stares at him blankly.

Finally, Kou cracks a grin. “Let's go somewhere with less supernaturals and finish eating, yeah? How does that sound? I kinda want to get as far away from here as possible, and besides, I think the curfew for being in here is coming up soon and we've already strayed so far off the path.”

“Uh,” Mitsuba says, voice hoarse, “yeah, I suppose. Are you sure you're ok, Kou -?”

“I'm fine,” Kou insists, nudging Mitsuba's side with his elbow. “You saved me, didn't you? I barely got scratched. So finish eating your peaches and let's go, I have to get home and let Teru know to come out here.”

Mitsuba nods numbly and follows. He's out of it for the next long while, all the way up until he leaves Kou a few streets from his house and walks back to the school, mind racing as he thinks about everything that happened. How close he'd come to hurting Kou. How the injuries Kou did get were Mitsuba's fault. How dangerous he is. How little good he does for Kou's life in general.

And he thinks: something has to change.

The thing he stole from Kou's room burns a hole in his hoodie pocket for the entire evening.