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“It’s been a lovely evening, hasn’t it?”
Mista grinned at the woman sitting in the passenger seat of his car. He still couldn’t believe he’d scored a date with someone like Rosella. “Yeah, it really has.”
He screamed at himself internally, trying to think of something cool to say. Trying to decide what to do. Should he kiss her? Was that okay for a first date? God he was so bad at this!
Rosella reached down and grabbed her purse from the floor of the car before setting her hand on the door handle.
“I guess it’s time to say goodnight,” she said before coyly turning a look toward Mista. “Are you…going to walk me to my door?”
Hell yes he was. Mista was out of the car and opening the door for her in an instant, handing her out before walking up to the front door of the house side by side.
“It’s a nice place,” he commented, even as he frowned because—well, it was kind of a dump, actually.
He didn’t want to say it, but it looked sort of abandoned…
She paused at the door, looking for her key in her clutch. “I hope we can do this again, Guido.”
“Me too—hey, uh…maybe next Friday?”
“I’ll let you know,” she said as she finally retrieved her key and unlocked the door, opening it with a creak into the darkness of the house.
Something suddenly felt very wrong, Mista’s instincts picking up on it.
“Hey, Rosella—”
He stepped toward her, hand outstretched…
~~~~~~~
Mista came to suddenly with a ragged gasp, surging upright in an almost comical way, like one of those zombie movies.
He was freezing, and, no wonder, because he was sitting in a bathtub.
In ice water.
“W-what the h-hell?” he muttered, teeth chattering.
He struggled to get up but he kept slipping, limbs frozen and stiff. He tried to summon Sex Pistols but everything felt fuzzy. He must have been drugged as well.
He finally managed to roll himself out of the bath, hitting the floor hard. His clothes had been stripped off, but they lay in a pile nearby. Maybe his phone was still there.
As he crawled in the direction of his pants, his body began to warm up, allowing him to become aware of a dull ache in his side.
Mista groaned, slumping against the wall, panting as he slid his hand down to his side.
Several sutures held together a hole in his flesh. Mista began to panic.
“The hell? What the hell?”
His ears started to ring as vague memories began to flood back in, flashing in snatches through his clouded mind.
~~~~~~~~
As soon as Mista stepped into the house, shadowed figures surged toward him. A bag was thrust over his head and he was instantly knocked out.
When he next came to, he was strapped to a table. Everything felt numb and he struggled weakly, cringing away from the lights blaring above him.
“Ro-Rosella…”
“Don’t worry, sweetie, I’m perfectly fine.”
She came into view, wearing a stained coat and carrying a tray of tools.
“What are you—?”
“Don’t take it personally, Guido, it’s just business. A girl has to make a living, you know. You’ll wake up just fine in the morning. Call a friend to come pick you up.”
She leaned over the table and pressed her lips to his, meeting his eyes as she pulled away. “It really was a nice date.”
She injected him with something and things started to go hazy. Mista tried to cling to consciousness, but he couldn’t stop himself from drifting away…
~~~~~~~
Mista tried to keep himself from panicking. He could not believe this had happened to him. He’d actually had his freaking kidney stolen.
He never even believed those urban legends—well, for the most part anyway. Was he really that bad with women? She stole his kidney!
He crawled the rest of the way to his clothes, rummaging through them until he found his phone. He could barely snap it open with his shaking fingers and dial Giorno’s number.
The ring tone went on forever until a sleepy voice finally answered, “Mm, what is it?”
“G-Giorno.”
“Mista? Are you okay?”
He swallowed hard. “N-No. Giorno…I think I’m in really big trouble.”
~~~~~~~
He wasn’t sure how long it was before Giorno and Fugo showed up with a cooler. Mista nearly teared up upon seeing them.
“Guys…”
Giorno knelt beside him, opening the cooler. “I’ve had Gold Experience grow you a new kidney on the way here,” he said as if this was just a casual Tuesday night—and not a Tuesday night in which Mista had gotten his kidney stolen.
“I can’t believe this happened.”
“I’ll admit, even I’m surprised it actually escalated to this,” Fugo said, arms folded over his chest as he watched balefully. “First you had that girl sneak out on you, then the one that stole your wallet—there was the one who ghosted you entirely—and now this woman who is apparently working for the black market organ trade. It’s honestly impressive just how bad of a judge of character you are when it comes to women.”
“You don’t have to rub it in!” Mista snarled.
“It is kind of a worrying pattern,” Giorno muttered as Gold Experience materialized and picked up the kidney from the cooler before reaching toward Mista. “This might hurt a little,” Giorno warned.
Mista leaned back against the wall and clenched his jaw as the Stand replaced his missing organ. He decided he was swearing off dating for a long, long time.
“How do I get better about picking women?”
He glanced at the two other young men staring at him. “Oh yeah, I forgot who I’m asking, never mind.”
Fugo scoffed. “Maybe thinking with your upstairs brain is a good place to start.”
Giorno patted him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll find the right girl someday, Mista.”
He sighed as they helped him up and into his clothes before letting him lean on them as they led him to the car.
They drove in silence for a while, Mista leaning against the car door, exhausted.
“Do the others—” he finally began hesitantly.
“Oh they’re waiting eagerly for you to get back and explain why Giorno and I left in the middle of the night with a freshly minted kidney,” Fugo said with some sadistic pleasure.
Mista moaned and sank down against the seats. “This night just gets worse and worse.”
“You forgot something, Mista,” Giorno added. “This was the fourth date in a row.”