Chapter Text
As Jeremy roams in the cold autumn air of his neighbourhood, desperate to try and find his house in the dark light of the moon, he spots the silhouette of his friend on the swing of the playground they used to play in as kids.
-”Michael?” His voice cracks. He doesn't know if it's from the emotion of seeing his best friend again, or the alcohol in his blood.
Michael jolted, turning around quickly to look at where the familiar voice came from.
-"J-Jeremy? What are you doing here !? And… why can you… see me?” He was surprised, confused, and didn't really know if he should be angry or not.
Jeremy giggled. -”S'rry for the scare. Didn't mean to.” He jumped clumsily onto the swing next to Michael's, staring at him. Michael sniffed, wiping his eyes.
-”Are you…crying?”
-”Are you…drunk?”
They asked at the same time.
Michael : “No !”
Jeremy : “yes.”
They answered at the same time.
Jeremy laughed and Michael looked away far in front of him, flustered.
Jeremy tried to put his hand on Michael's arm, but the other boy immediately moved his arm away.
“Heeyy…” Jeremy pouted.
Michael looked at the other boy like he just did the most scandalous thing on earth.
-”What are you even doing here?” He asks, unconsciously a bit aggressive.
-”I miss you…” Jeremy said, in a stereotypical drunk way.
Right. Jeremy was the ‘clingy and truthful’ kind of drunk, Michael had forgotten.
Michael sighed. -”I miss you too.” His heart ached saying these words.
A couple of minutes before, he was crying about a boy, and now the boy in question was next to him, and drunk. This was too much.
Jeremy tried to get closer to Michael again, swinging horizontally like a child to try to meet with him.
“Please stop.” Michael ordered.
-”Come oonn… Why are you like this?” Jeremy spat, unaware of his wording.
-”Why am I like this?” Michael began.
“You’ve just decided months ago to leave me because you were scared of who you were and wanted to fit in, leaving me alone in this… nightmare. And you ask me why I don’t want to play kissy-kissy with you tonight?” Michael huffed.
“I don’t even know why I bother talking to you. You’re so drunk you can’t even think.”
-”It’s not true…” Jeremy whimpered, leaning his head back in a way that made Michael’s stomach fluster.
Michael cleared his throat. “Besides… I thought the Squip was supposed to make you popular. Why are you coming home on foot by yourself? It’s… a little bit pathetic, for someone like you.”
-”Pttfff… Yeah, no… I was supposed to like… uh, do stuff but that didn’t go well, and also Christine broke up with me tonight so… yyeepp.”
-”oh.”
-”yeah.” Jeremy sighed.
-”Do… You want a hug?” Michael asked, hesitant. He’s too soft. Why was he even doing this? This boy had left him, he should be angry, he shouldn't want to be around him. Yet, he still cared.
-”Please.” Jeremy answered, standing up from the swing and walking towards Michael, closing his arms around him and letting his body relax in the familiar odor and body of his former best friend.
Michael's breath hitched as he felt Jeremy’s body closing onto his. It was so familiar yet strange. The scent of alcohol and sweat coming from Jeremy reminded Michael that nothing that was done or said tonight would matter to Jeremy tomorrow, since he’ll probably have forgotten it. He let out a breath, relaxing into Jeremy as well, as he brought his arms around him.
“Hold on.” Jeremy mumbled. He tried to sit on Michael’s lap to be in a better position since he was kind of just leaning in front of Michael’s knees.
-”W-what are you doing?” Michael’s face was red.
-”Let me sit on your lap…I’m uncomfortable…” Jeremy whined, not aware of the meaning of his words.
-”uh-uhm… okay?” Michael said, hesitant as Jeremy tried to sit again, this time with Michael’s help who held him around his hips so he wouldn’t fall.
The position was incredibly intimate, but Jeremy in his drunk form didn’t seem to mind it. However, Michael was a mess.
Jeremy’s face was buried in Michael’s neck, his skin shivering to the feeling of Jeremy’s breath on his skin.
”Jerm.. I don’t think the swing can hold this much weight… The age limit is 12 years old.” He tried his best to not let his awkwardness come out of his voice.
-“mmmh...” Jeremy mumbled, sleepy.
-”Are you okay?” Michael asked.
Jeremy nodded, sighing again before moving his face away from Michael's neck, staring at him.
“I didn’t leave you because I wanted to be cooler…Chill, whatever. That was just an excuse. I left you because I was scared of what I would be around you.” Jeremy talked with a tired voice.
-"u-uh? What does that mean?” Michael asked, trying desperately to not think too much about Jeremy's body being this close to him.
Jeremy groaned, putting his head back in Michael's neck and strengthening his hold around him. “...Nevermind.”
“No, wait. Wait.” Michael gently pushed him away, so they were both standing up. Jeremy whined from the lack of warmth.
-"What?” Jeremy's eyes were half closed.
-”What did you say?” Michael swallowed.
-”When?”
-”Just now !!” Michael groaned. “You know what? Forget It. You probably don't even believe in your own words. And you'll forget everything tomorrow so I don't know why I'm still here.” He hesitated to turn around and just leave, but he wanted to look at Jeremy for a little longer since he didn't know when he was going to see him again. He held his own arms, it was getting really cold.
The silence was heavy, Michael sighed and just as he was about to turn around, Jeremy cried.
-”No ! Wait… wait Michael, please.”
-”What?” He looked at his old friend with a mix of frustration and pity. “It's getting cold. You should go home, or your dad will worry.” He said, his voice still unconsciously harsh.
-”I… I was supposed to stay at Christine's. A-and… My dad isn’t even home tonight, my house is locked. And…and I want to be with you…?” Jeremy was shouting, even if they were not far from each other.
-”What is your problem??” Michael stepped closer, his fists closing. “So you just waited for your nice life to go down the drain again to crawl back to me? Christine broke up with you so that's it? Now you suddenly care again?”
-”Micah, that's not…”
Michael started to yell. The scene suddenly felt familiar.
-“Why would I be there for you when you weren’t there for me?? Do you know how long I waited for you to come back? It's too late Jeremy. I'm done.”
He turned around and started to leave, not quite running, but walking fast. His fists were clenched at his side and his posture was tense. Jeremy watched him leave, helpless and lost. Then Michael started crying, his body trembling in the cold autumn night. And that’s when he ran. Michael ran fast. He just wanted to leave. He couldn’t look at Jeremy again. Just when he thought his night couldn’t get any worse, that boy came back and made it worse.
-”M-Michael ! no ! w-wait!” Michael heard a voice behind him.
He’s not going to turn around. He’s not going to turn around. He’s not going to-
“BleurggHhh-”
-”Jer?” He turned around. And Jeremy was puking. Of course.
-”Aarh… Fuck.” Jeremy groaned.
Michael sighed as he approached the smaller boy, currently leaning towards the floor a couple of feet away, an arm around his stomach and a hand wiping his mouth.
-”You’re really stupid, you know that?!” Michael said, his voice cracking because he was still crying.
-”M-michael…” Jeremy said, his voice weak as he tried to straighten himself again.
Michael walked to him and held him so he wouldn’t fall. -”Just sit down.” He helped him settle on the floor.
Michael wiped his own tears. “I can’t believe I keep coming back after everything you’ve done to hurt me.”
-”Michael, I’m sorry. I really am.”
-”You’re drunk.”
-”I-I know… but… I… What I told earlier, everything. I mean it.” His voice was shaky.
“...It never was about being popular. I just… I was scared. So I ran away. I never should’ve… I am a coward.”
-”Jeremy, what are you talking about?” Michael was confused.
-”Michael I…”
Michael’s heart stopped beating.
“I love you.”
He froze. No. No that’s not true. Jeremy just said that because he was emotional, and drunk, and… Christine had just dumped him ! That’s it. There is no way he really thought that. There is no world in which Jeremy could… He…
“Michael?” Jeremy’s voice was quiet, and it cracked again.
-”...Shut up.” Michael whispered, his face gloomy.
-”Michael, please, listen to me !” Jeremy started crying.
-”You, you’re… No. You’re drunk. You don’t really think that. You’re not conscious.”
The way Jeremy cried was always so particular. He was always so… shaky, and naturally curved his back. When he cried, Jeremy’s shoulder tended to lift at each breath he took. He looked like a poor pitiful animal. And Michael hated seeing Jeremy crying. He had always comforted him. And now… Michael was lost. What was he supposed to do?
Jeremy just cried. And Michael watched. Feeling betrayed, hurt, and cold.
-”I’m sorry” Jeremy talked again. “I ruined everything. I ruined our friendship… I…”
-”Stop. Stop Jeremy, god please stop.” His heart was aching.
Jeremy looked back at Michael, their eyes meeting in a mix of tears. It smelled like vomit, alcohol, sweat, and dead leaves.
Then without warning, Jeremy put his hands on Michael's face and kissed him.
Michael pulled back quickly, moving away in panic. “Wh-wha- No what are you- !!”
“I can’t do this anymore.” Michael whined, his face red as he stood up clumsily.
He opened his mouth again, like he was about to say something, but he didn’t, and just walked away..
Jeremy watched from the floor as Michael left. For real this time. He felt empty.
Jeremy stayed on the floor for an unknown length of time, staring at the void. His thoughts were cut by the sound of a notification through his jeans.
He reached into his pocket slowly, taking the phone.
A text from his dad telling him he was home.