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“Have you ever killed yourself before?”
The question wasn't right. It was so fucking wrong, but Yoongi still answered, “No.”.
“Right, expected that.” The man said, sighing loudly while scratching an itch at the back of his left hand.
“What do you mean?” Yoongi asked, feeling confused.
The man smiled, looking right at him. “I mean, you're here for a reason.” He chuckled, making Yoongi furrow his eyebrows.
“Here for a reason? I'm here be-...” Yoongi looked around, trying to remember why he was there, only to realize that he didn't know where he was.
“You're safe here.” The man said, leaning back into his chair. “I know how it is. Confusion and fear mongering, not being able to remember or understand. But you don't have to worry.” He crossed his legs elegantly, sighing.
“Why can't I remember anything?” Yoongi asked, fear taking over now. “Was I drugged?”
“Oh, no no.” The man chuckled, finding the other man's fear amusing. “You're dead.”
Yoongi's eyes widened and his jaw dropped slightly. “Dead? Are you fucking joking?” He asked.
“No, I can't really joke about it. I only meet dead people, so.” The man said, shrugging like he was telling Yoongi about something normal, something that wasn't absolutely insane to say.
“I am not dead. There's nothing after death.” Yoongi tried to reason, which made the man laugh.
“And how would you know that?” He asked, straightening his back slightly. “You don't believe in a god?”
“I don't believe in things that can't be proven.” Yoongi answered proudly.
“Hm, understandable.” The man leaned forward, putting both hands on his knees before standing up. “But very unwise.” He walked towards his bookshelf, turning his back to Yoongi.
Something was so wrong with this whole setup. He could see something tenting the back of the man's shirt at the shoulderblades, something sharp.
“Unwise?” Yoongi asked, trying to play it cool.
“Yeah.” The man turned around to face Yoongi. “Don't you think God would feel unappreciated if you didn't believe in him?”
“But, I don't believe in God.” Yoongi felt cornered, afraid and confused.
“No, you don't. You believe in nature. That nature did its thing, changing one animal into something new.” The man laughed at his own words like it had been a joke.
“Yeah- there's proof of evolution.” Yoongi explained, only to get laughed at again.
“God can be subtle with his changes. Do you think he created the world without any flaws? All those ‘evolutionary’ changes were made by God, he changed everything slowly to make them better.”
“If God exists, then why won't he ever help us? Why won't he show himself?” Yoongi asked, his heart speeding up.
“What do you think would happen if he did?” The man walked back to his chair, sitting down. “A lot of people would feel betrayed, a lot of people would probably get disappointed by who they would see. And humans would try to use God for their own benefits.”
“What do you mean?”
“Imagine God as a game developer. He only interacts with the game when he finds bugs or glitches, or when he sees that something needs to be changed. On a normal day, he's just a viewer.” The man said, ignoring Yoongi's question.
Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows.
“I wouldn't want to meet my creator.” The man said with a slight change to his tone, sighing loudly again.
“Who are you?” Yoongi asked, making the man smile.
“Your creator.” He said, looking at his feet for a few seconds before looking back at the wide eyed man. “So, you have officially met your ‘God’.” He chuckled, his eyes changing slightly.
“So… you created humans?” Yoongi's voice had become quieter.
“No, no I didn't. God did that, and he created me too.” The man said, making Yoongi horrifyingly confused.
“But you said you were my creator.” Yoongi said, his eyes tearing up from the unpleasant thoughts filling his head.
“Yes, because I am ‘your’ creator, Yoongi. I created you and you died pretty early on actually, made me a little disappointed.”
“But- what?” Yoongi touched his forehead, his brain spinning in his head.
“I was created by God. Humans were created by God. And who am I? Well, I was created, not for the same worthless purpose as humans, but for taking God's place when he's gone.” The man said.
“Wait, so, God dies?”
“No one is immortal.” The man said, smiling. “Not even God. And I'm the next God. I've been trying to figure out how to create humans for decades now, and you were my 2381 try at that. I'm actually pretty proud of you. You achieved a lot in your short life, you made a huge impression. Plus, you left a bit of yourself amongst the humans.” The man said, meaning Yoongi's 3 year old son.
“Shit- fuck! My son.” Yoongi sounded worried, distressed.
“You don't have to worry. He'll be fine. I'm just happy a part of my work will continue to live up there.”
“So, I am human, just not made by God?” Yoongi asked, trying to calm down.
“Basically.” The man said. “And my creations will soon be perfect, I just need to fix the depression thing, it's kinda boring seeing my ‘humans’ kill themselves every single time.” He chuckled, finding it a bit funny.
“Depression thing?”
“All my creations have killed themselves. There's something I need to fix in the brain, but I haven't figured it out yet. You start feeling like you don't belong, and that shouldn't be happening.” He said, sounding more and more like the God he had been explaining earlier.
“So… my son will kill himself?” Yoongi asked, his face dropping. He felt insanely sad thinking about it.
“Well, he's part human, so I can't actually answer your question.” The room became quiet while Yoongi thought.
“What will happen to me?” He asked, looking at his creator.
“You'll be reused to make the next human replica.” That did not sound pleasant to Yoongi, not at all.
“I've lived other lives?” Yoongi asked.
“Yeah, kinda, I mean, you weren't ‘Yoongi’, nor did you look like him. But you had the same soul.” The man said. “Once on earth, you live in a human body, but your soul isn't really human. I can only change the brain, nothing else, yet.”
“I don't want to continue living.” Yoongi said, feeling exhausted.
“You always say that.” The man smiled.