Work Text:
The chill of the large meeting room solicited a shiver down Jiwoo’s spine. Why did it always have to be the only room that wasn’t booked out? She needed to focus. Her manager had given her the messiest spreadsheet of all time to neaten up.
“Alone in here as always,” her coworker Jinsol smiled, startling Jiwoo. Her noise cancelling headphones worked a little bit too well there.
Jiwoo didn’t say anything, just took off her headphones and placed them down next to her laptop. Taking the hint, Jinsol sat down next to her. It was a tradition of sorts. If one of them had some free time in their day, they would find the other for a good gossip. That was the benefit of working with your best friend.
“Just so you know, I am going to need this room in half an hour,” Jinsol warned.
A groan of frustration escaped Jiwoo as she leant back in her chair. “You can’t make me work in the break room! The men are all in there making comments as women walk past the window. The only free space otherwise is between that one guy and the woman he’s trying to convince to go on a date with him.”
Trying her best to hold back her laugh, Jinsol placed her hand on top of Jiwoo’s. It was true that a majority of their colleagues were dirty minded men. They couldn’t last a single meeting led by a woman without a chorus of borderline degrading comments being muttered under their breaths to each other.
Jiwoo had spent more than half of her three years at the company begging for her own office. She would even accept a corner of the main office space partitioned off. It was the same response every time though. She wasn’t dealing with vulnerable enough information to be warranted such ‘special treatment’ over the rest of the team. Bullshit in her opinion, but she had no power to change their minds.
“I have to welcome our new customer relations manager. I’ve been given strict orders to keep her away from the rest of the team until she is comfortable.”
The explanation didn’t make Jiwoo feel any better about the situation. If the higher-ups knew to keep new female employees away from the general office, why was the solution to have her work in the only space Jiwoo could ever have peace in? Why not, you know, fix the behaviour of the men that leads to these issues with new employees?
“New customer relations manager already? What happened to the last one?” Jiwoo questioned, finally processing Jinsol’s actual words.
“He quit. Something about his office being too small.”
Jiwoo’s scoff filled the room. How could someone quit a job over their office when most employees weren’t allowed one in the first place? She didn’t think she had even met the guy before. Not that she paid any attention to any of her coworkers other than Jinsol. Everything she knew about them was from her. Working in the recruitment department, Jinsol successfully became a fly on the wall. She was trusted by everyone.
“Before you ask, I can’t keep the newbie in that office room yet. It is genuinely too small for us both to reasonably work in there. Plus I need the projector,” Jinsol explained.
While disappointing, it did give Jiwoo an idea. “Can I just use that office then? Just while you’re in here.”
Jinsol shook her head. As much as she wanted to allow Jiwoo to do that, she knew it wasn’t possible. The last time someone had tried to sneak into that office, they were pulled into a meeting and scolded for disrespecting their position in the company. It had spread like wildfire around the office. She was almost surprised that Jiwoo hadn’t heard about it.
“Not unless you want to put your job at risk.”
That didn’t sound like such a bad idea to Jiwoo at this point. As the days went by, she found less and less reasons to want to stay. The only thing keeping her there by that point was Jinsol. The person she had roped into joining the company with her in the first place.
Looking up at Jinsol, Jiwoo tried her hardest to put on her cutest and most innocent expression. “Can I please just stay in here? I’ll put my headphones on.”
Heart a couple of beats faster than it was before, Jinsol sighed. How could she say no to that? It was the look Jiwoo used to give her in high school when she wanted some of her snacks. The look she would give her when a room was too crowded and she wanted to get away. The look she knew Jinsol couldn’t resist. Though, the true reason behind her weakness to it was something hidden. A secret kept in the deepest darkest parts of Jinsol’s heart.
“Fine. You can sit over by the door. Headphones on. If you become a distraction, I will kick you out.”
Jinsol found herself regretting the words once she had said them. It was obvious that Jiwoo was going to be a distraction. To her. Jiwoo had never been there while she was working with a new employee before. Only in the quiet moments of filling out paperwork and preparing for meetings. The moments where she could risk too long of a glance in Jiwoo’s direction.
The hesitance on Jinsol’s face was left unnoticed by Jiwoo as she jumped out of her seat to wrap her arms around Jinsol’s shoulders from behind. Ignoring the electricity it sent through her veins, Jinsol took hold of Jiwoo’s hands. It was going to be a long day.
======
“Just so you know, one of our colleagues will be in the room with us. She’s promised to keep quiet with her headphones on so she shouldn’t be a distraction. If you would like for her to leave however, let me know and I’ll kick her out,” Jinsol explained as she led the new employee towards the large meeting room.
The employee, Yoona, quickly assured Jinsol that she didn’t mind. Jinsol understood from the pleasantness in her tone why she worked in customer relations. It would be impossible to be hostile towards someone whose voice sounded so heavenly.
Jinsol did her best to avoid looking at Jiwoo as she directed Yoona into the room. She couldn’t afford to give a bad first impression. All eyes were on her to make sure everything went to plan and Yoona was able to get through the initial training period without issue.
It was ten minutes after Jinsol and Yoona entered the room that Jiwoo looked up from her laptop. Her eyes had begun to sting from the bright light. She was used to looking up and getting distracted every minute, so in her efforts to not cause any hassle she had passed her limit of staring at Excel. She watched as Jinsol spoke animatedly towards Yoona, trying to read her lips to figure out what part of the usual drabble she was at. Jinsol felt the eyes on her, but she did her best to stay composed.
Despite her best efforts, Yoona picked up on the change in her behaviour. The blush spreading across her face, all the way to her ears. Looking towards Jiwoo she immediately understood why. Jiwoo was truly watching Jinsol. Closely. The assumption was made in Yoona’s mind. There had to have been something going on. Why else would Jinsol become so flushed?
Yoona wasn’t the only one to notice. Jiwoo herself smiled at how red Jinsol’s ears were. Though, in her mind, her assumption was that it was due to Yoona. She had paid so much attention trying to read Jinsol’s lips that she figured she had been that red the whole time. Curious, she turned to face Yoona who was already looking back at her. She smiled politely before looking away. Damn.
“Okay. Let’s take a break here. If you want any water or anything let me know and I can grab some for you,” Jinsol smiled.
Finally looking towards Jiwoo, Jinsol gestured for her to take her headphones off.
“What’s up? Or am I fine to be a distraction again?”
Jinsol rolled her eyes. Jiwoo knew how to irritate her in the most pleasant ways. “We’re taking a break. This is Yoona. Maybe a colleague other than me you can actually talk to?”
She took her chance to look at Yoona again. How could she be in the same room as someone so beautiful? There was a sparkle in Yoona’s eyes. She couldn’t look away. Yoona was looking back with a smile. It seemed polite. A formality. The feeling of insecurity rushed through Jiwoo. Was she getting in her way? Did Yoona not want her to be there?
“I’m Yoona. I’ll be the customer relations manager. It’s nice to meet you.”
Jiwoo nodded, realising she had stared for so long that Yoona felt the need to start the conversation. “Hi sorry yes. I’m Jiwoo. I’m in the finance department. Sorry for not saying anything. I’m shy around new people.”
It was a half truth. While she was shy around new people, she certainly wasn’t the type to stare. She could at least give an awkward introduction. In front of Yoona though, she felt like she was losing her sense of self. The window creating an almost halo around her didn’t help either.
“Jiwoo is a lot better when you get to know her. If she lets you in that is,” Jinsol chimed in, wanting to make sure Yoona didn’t get the wrong impression.
The smile that graced Yoona’s face was more sincere than what Jiwoo had already seen from her. Okay. Maybe she wasn’t so bothered by Jiwoo’s presence. Maybe it was nerves or something. Even so, Jiwoo didn’t feel right. It had been a long time that somebody had made her feel so much self doubt. Not since her and Jinsol first met.
Looking out through the small window in the door, Jiwoo noticed there was someone looking in. One of the men from the customer relations department. He looked away and pretended he was busy with something else once he saw Jiwoo looking straight at him, but it was no surprise that there were people being curious. Men being curious. Jiwoo couldn’t help but frown. She had to protect Yoona.
“Hmm? What’s up Jjyu?” Jinsol asked. The change in Jiwoo’s expression was obvious to her. Understanding her body language had become second nature.
The frown didn’t leave Jiwoo’s face as she turned back to Jinsol. “Ah just… I understand why you need to be in here.”
While Jinsol quickly understood, Yoona tilted her head as she looked between the two. Should she ask? Was it better not to? In the end, curiosity got the better of her. What was going on that she wasn’t made aware of?
“What do you mean by that? If you don’t mind me asking.” she queried, looking towards Jiwoo.
Feeling the eyes on her, Jiwoo chose her next words carefully. “There are certain people in this office that get… curious when someone new starts. When new women start specifically. It’s not an issue in terms of safety or anything, but it can be uncomfortable sometimes.”
Yoona hummed as she processed the information. Something about the hesitance in Jiwoo’s tone led her to believe that there was more to it than she was letting on, but she didn’t feel a need to pry. She was more than used to her fair share of stares and under the breath comments. It was nothing she hadn’t dealt with before.
“If anyone does bother you, feel free to let me or Jiwoo know. We have an ongoing conversation about it with HR.”
An ongoing conversation. Yoona wondered how bad it must be for HR to be aware. Still, she remained unbothered.
“Nothing a man has ever said to me has ever mattered, and that isn’t going to start now. I will let you know though to provide more evidence to resolve the issue overall.”
======
It had been a week since Yoona started at the company. A daily routine had been formed within those 5 working days. She would get into the office and go straight to the large meeting room where Jiwoo was already typing away on her laptop. Jinsol would join them shortly after with drinks and snacks to keep them going for the day. They would talk about their coworkers and update Yoona on all the insider gossip. Yoona began to learn about Jinsol and Jiwoo’s friendship. Stories from high school and college, random inside jokes that had remained in their conversations years later. In return, she told them her own stories of her life.
Jiwoo was scrolling on her phone when Yoona arrived. She must not have officially started working yet. It was an earlier time for Yoona to arrive though. She figured with it being her first week out of the official training, it would make a better impression to show up a little earlier.
“Everything okay?” Yoona smiled as she sat down directly next to Jiwoo.
At the sound of Yoona’s voice, Jiwoo hurriedly placed her phone face down on the table. She thought it was Jinsol who had walked in.
“Yeah I’m all good. Another week of fun.”
The sarcasm in her voice wasn’t lost on Yoona. She let out a laugh as she naturally placed her hand on Jiwoo’s shoulder. The action sent a shiver down Jiwoo’s spine. She became shy, her gaze dropping down to the table in front of her.
Oblivious to the strong beating of Jiwoo’s heart, Yoona leant in closer. She smiled as Jiwoo looked back at her. Jiwoo wanted to look away, but she felt magnetised towards Yoona. If she wasn’t so aware of them being at work, she didn’t know if she’d be able to maintain the small distance between them. It was an odd feeling. One she hadn’t experienced for years.
Still, the way she melted under Yoona’s touch wasn’t picked up on. The tension she felt building in her chest was only present for her.
Yoona finally leant back, her hand still firmly on Jiwoo’s shoulder. “You’ve got me and Sol to get you through the week.”
Jiwoo felt herself tense up at the nickname. Since when had Yoona started using that nickname for Jinsol? None of the past week had she called her anything other than Jinsol. Her eyebrows furrowed as she thought about what could’ve happened on the weekend. Were Yoona and Jinsol messaging each other? Did they meet up? Something about the idea made her feel sick.
She reached for her water bottle, her knuckles whitening around it. She took a sip, but the lump in her throat didn’t go away. It didn’t make sense to her why she was so bothered by the idea. Her and Jinsol both had their own lives. It had been a long time since she’d cared about her meeting up with friends.
“You definitely don’t seem okay now,” Yoona noted. Her voice was laced with concern. Had she said something wrong? Was there an argument between Jiwoo and Jinsol over the weekend that she didn’t know about? It was only seconds before that Jiwoo seemed her usual self.
Jiwoo shrugged, pushing Yoona’s hand off with the motion. She couldn’t say anything to Yoona. Not when she didn’t know what was wrong herself. Maybe things would become clearer when Jinsol arrived.
Sensing the change in Jiwoo, Yoona picked her bag up off the floor and took out her laptop. She might as well get started with her work. Jinsol had already explained to her everything she needed to do. Once everything was set up, she looked back at Jiwoo. She was already looking at her. Yoona took a second to analyse her. Her eyebrows were furrowed, her eyes themselves wandering around Yoona’s face. She still had a tight grip on her water bottle and her laptop was opened onto an empty Excel spreadsheet. Something was definitely wrong.
Just as she was about to ask, Jinsol walked in. “Sorry I’m later than usual. Got caught up in traffic.”
The tension in the room suddenly hit her. Had something happened? Yoona was looking at Jiwoo, even more concerned now, while Jiwoo had moved her gaze to stare past Yoona and out of the window.
“Uhhh did I miss something?”
Jiwoo didn’t move, not even a flinch.
“She seems out of it this morning. Maybe she’s sick or something? I can’t figure it out,” Yoona explained, her eyes displaying even more concern than was evident in her voice.
That was a shock to Jinsol. She knew better than anyone that if Jiwoo was sick she’d happily take her chance to have the day off. The number of days she skipped of college from minor hangovers or simply being too tired were countless. There had to have been a reason.
Crouching down next to Jiwoo, Jinsol gently placed her hand on her cheek and moved her so she was looking towards her. “Talk to me Jjyu.”
The nickname was comforting. But it made the situation all the more confusing. There was a time when that nickname did erupt butterflies in her stomach. Back when her and Jinsol first met, she thought she was the love of her life. In this moment though, she knew that wasn’t the issue. She would’ve melted at the nickname otherwise.
“I don’t know to be honest. I was fine and now I’m not.”
Jinsol nodded. She could hear the slight rasp in Jiwoo’s voice. She knew her well enough to know that wasn’t a sign of illness. Something was bothering her. There was an emotion she was trying to hold back. It was something she had learned about Jiwoo after watching a sad movie together for the first time. In holding back her tears, she lost the ability to talk normally.
“What happened today? When did your mood change?” she asked carefully.
If there was a genuine big issue, Jiwoo wasn’t going to straight up tell her. She would have to read between the lines. If it was something small though, she knew she could get Jiwoo to open up about it.
Jiwoo shrugged. “I think I’m just tired or something.”
There was her sign. The sign that Jiwoo wasn’t going to open up. Not straight away. Placing her hand gently on Jiwoo’s knee, she smiled slightly. She wanted Jiwoo to know that she was there. See that she was genuinely trying to help. No part of her doubted that Jiwoo knew that, but it was unlike her to tell her what was wrong. Even with the bigger things it didn’t take too long for her to give in and open up. Even if it took some prompting from Jinsol piecing it together. This time she wasn’t giving Jinsol anything to work with though. That was the worrying part. It truly hurt her heart to see Jiwoo upset. Worse than her own sadness.
Yoona watched the interaction in admiration. It was clear just how much Jinsol cared about Jiwoo. She’d grown fond of both women. Jiwoo had proven herself to be someone pleasant and easy to talk to. She had all the qualities Yoona looked for in a best friend. Jinsol on the other hand was a complete joker. It was because of Jinsol that Yoona had laughed until she cried for the first time. Even with only spending 5 days around her. Now she was seeing the caring side of her and her heart was warming up more and more each second. For a second, she forgot the situation and her mind wandered to how it would feel for Jinsol to show her that same care.
“I think Yoona can get started herself if you want to go outside for a moment? We can get some fresh air if that might help.”
With a nod, Yoona hummed in agreement. “I just have some preparations to do. I’ll be fine on my own if you two want to go talk somewhere more private.”
Feeling her heart drop, Jiwoo inhaled deeply. She turned to face Yoona just to see her looking at Jinsol. She didn’t bother to hide the frown that formed. Maybe Yoona was the issue. Was she seriously developing a crush on their new coworker? Fuck. She should’ve known it was unlike her to be so drawn to someone she had just met. Jinsol was the only other person she’d ever grown so close to so quickly. That she’d ever wanted to grow so close to.
“I’m going to the bathroom. I feel like I’m going to throw up.”
Both Jinsol and Yoona watched as Jiwoo rushed out of the room. Turning back to face Yoona, Jinsol squinted. Surely something had to have happened before she got there. Yoona felt intimidated the second she saw the look in Jinsol’s eyes. It was the most serious expression she’d seen her have. It didn’t take long for her to piece together Jinsol’s thoughts.
“I swear I didn’t do anything. She was fine when I got here. All I said to her before her mood shifted was that we’d both be here to help her through the week. Same thing as I’ve said before about getting each other through the day,” Yoona explained, feeling a need to defend herself.
Jinsol was still sceptical, but she couldn’t prove that anything further happened. Not with Jiwoo being so closed off.
======
Fifteen minutes passed before Jiwoo returned, a cupcake in her hand. She’d done what she always did when she needed space. Made her way to the unused stairwell to the roof and sat on the fifth step up. She’d left her phone in the meeting room, but she knew she was better off without the distraction. She needed to sort her thoughts out before she caused any bigger of a scene. Before she made things more awkward than they likely already were.
The silence and lack of Yoona made it easier for her to clear her head. She rationalised the situation just as she had done years prior with Jinsol. A crush is a crush. Just because you have a crush, it doesn’t mean you have to act on it. Not if there is a friendship to be ruined. Not if the crush in question seems to have something going on with your best friend.
The idea was a little easier to metabolise without the obvious signs of it in front of her. She would be fine. As long as Yoona didn’t bring up that stupid nickname for Jinsol, she would be fine. She just couldn’t look at her. Even if that’s where her eyes immediately wanted to go when she was in the same room as Yoona. Not looking at Yoona meant not seeing Yoona look at Jinsol with that sparkle in her eyes that Jiwoo never saw towards herself. She wasn’t sure how it took her so long to realise it. Maybe she was just ignoring it for the sake of her own sanity. How could she go back to being so unaware?
“Where’d you get the cupcake from?” Jinsol asked, happy to see that Jiwoo seemed to be more herself.
Smiling in return, Jiwoo held it up in front of her face. “They’re on the counter outside the break room. I just took one. No clue if they’re being saved for something or not.”
======
Jjyu (19:10) : Can I stay over tonight?
Solmate (19:13) : I saw you all day at work and now you’re deciding you want a sleepover?
Jjyu (19:14) : Pleaseeeeeee… I need to talk to you about something!
Solmate (19:14) : Alright. I’ll leave the door unlocked.
Jiwoo’s heart raced as she drove to Jinsol’s apartment. It was a short drive, walking distance really, but she was too lazy to walk. Too many thoughts in her head. She was nervous. She couldn’t go without getting her feelings for Yoona off her chest, even if it meant having to bring them up to Jinsol. The same Jinsol that she’d gotten so jealous over that she was forced to recognise the feelings in the first place. That was the issue with being so bad at trying to make friends. Jinsol was the only person she had to go to.
She opened the door as soon as she arrived, taking the key off the side and locking it once she was inside. Jinsol looked up from her couch at the sound, relieved to see it was in fact Jiwoo.
“You wanna talk first or settle in first?”
Jiwoo placed her finger to her mouth as she contemplated the options. It was cute to Jinsol. Everything about Jiwoo was. While she did want to get everything off her chest, she didn’t know if she’d be able to get the words out. Not just yet. Not with the fear of something going on between Jinsol and Yoona.
“Give me maybe five minutes and then I’ll explain,” she muttered as she sat down next to Jinsol on the couch.
Passing Jiwoo half of the blanket, Jinsol tried to avoid looking at her. She was going to open up about something. Jinsol didn’t want to ruin that by being too obviously smitten. Being so bad at hiding it, her best option was just to not look at Jiwoo.
Being next to Jinsol was Jiwoo’s greatest comfort in life. Her best friend until the end. Her platonic soulmate. There was no issue she had ever experienced that Jinsol couldn’t help her through. Whether that be by encouragement or actively resolving it herself. It was sweet. Something about Jinsol that Jiwoo appreciated deeply.
“About this morning. I know I was acting weird. I really hadn’t figured it out myself, but I took some time and I think I know what was wrong,” she began, her voice hesitant. Tentative.
Jinsol hummed, her acknowledgement. It was enough for Jiwoo to continue.
“I think I have feelings for Yoona. I’m scared though. She looks at you like you put the stars in the sky. I don’t know if something is going on between you, but from how she is around you I’ve started thinking that there is. She referred to you as Sol earlier. Before you got there. Something about it felt wrong. For a second I thought maybe I was jealous because that’s my nickname for you, but I realised when you arrived that it was her. It’s Yoona.”
The sinking feeling in Jinsol’s heart was instant. A shooting pain in her chest. Shit. Her worst fears had come true. She’d gone their entire friendship without being in this situation. Jiwoo, in her truest introvert fashion, hadn’t dated anyone since high school. Hadn’t even mentioned a crush. Now was the time for Jinsol to actually face things head on. First, though, she had to figure out how the hell to talk to Jiwoo about the situation without making her own feelings obvious.
“Well… if it makes you feel any better, I don’t see Yoona as anything other than a friend.”
A weight felt like it was lifted off of Jiwoo’s shoulders. At the very least, there wasn’t anything going on between them. While it didn’t change her theory about Yoona having feelings for Jinsol, it did mean that she wasn’t in her nightmare situation of being a third wheel.
She had noticed something strange about Jinsol though. She didn’t seem as cheerful as Jiwoo thought she would. She’d pictured in her head that when she finally got to tell Jinsol about a crush, she would be met with excited cheers and an abundance of questions. Instead, Jinsol was staring at the paused TV in front of her. Silent. While it would’ve made sense if Jinsol had feelings for Yoona, she said that she didn’t. Jiwoo believed her too. It was said in her most serious tone, only reserved for Jiwoo.
“Do you not want me to have a crush on her? Does it make you feel awkward or something?” Jiwoo asked. She had to make sure. The last thing she wanted was to make Jinsol feel uncomfortable.
“It’s not that. I just… well. I guess I just never expected for this to happen for some reason.”
A strange feeling of nostalgia came over Jiwoo. She felt like she’d said those exact words before. She tried to think back, tried to figure out why they felt so strong. The memory became vivid. She remembered being laid in Jinsol’s bedroom in her parents’ house. School uniforms still on as they stared up at the ceiling. Jinsol told her about a girl she saw at the store. That was the first time Jinsol expressed interest in someone. The first time Jiwoo realised Jinsol actually did like girls.
The memory was one that Jiwoo had intentionally suppressed. It was the moment she realised that Jinsol didn’t share her feelings. Not because she wasn’t interested in girls, but because she wasn’t interested in Jiwoo. When Jinsol had later shared with Jiwoo that her and the girl from the store had exchanged numbers and were going on a date, Jiwoo had said those exact same words. She hadn’t expected for it to happen for some reason. While that relationship didn’t end up going anywhere, the memory was one that was prevalent enough to return to Jiwoo’s mind years later.
Did Jinsol mean it in the same way that Jiwoo did back then? Was Jinsol even aware that she had said something so pivotal in Jiwoo’s life? Was Jinsol finally reciprocating those feelings that had long been pushed away to the point of being lost? The pain was no longer exclusive to Jinsol.
“I can push the crush on her away if that’s what you want. I don’t think I have a chance anyway,” Jiwoo found herself saying, a weird feeling of guilt creeping up on her.
It was then that Jinsol looked at Jiwoo. The hurt in Jiwoo’s eyes was visible even in the dim lighting of the living room. She was staring straight ahead at the picture hung up beside Jinsol’s TV. It was of the two of them at the beach, smiling happily. It was the day Jiwoo wanted to confess her feelings to Jinsol before she let go of them forever, but backed out at the last minute. For Jinsol, it was the day she realised that Jiwoo was the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. In whatever capacity she could.
“I can’t be selfish like that Jiwoo. If being open about it will make you happiest then that’s what I want for you.”
She didn’t deny it. Jiwoo felt tears form in her eyes. Looking at Jinsol, she saw the sincerity. She truly meant it. She wanted Jiwoo to be happy. “I can’t do that to you. I just can’t. I’ve been there before.”
This gained Jinsol’s interest. What did Jiwoo mean by that?
“I know you want me to be happy, but I want you to be happy too. We seem to have crossed over in some sort of fucked up fate,” Jiwoo smiled, tears now falling down her face in waves.
It was no less confusing to Jinsol. Nor was it very comforting. It was eerie, if anything. Jiwoo was speaking in a riddle to her. Usually she could pick up the pieces and put them together, but she was so drained that she didn’t have the capacity. She couldn’t even wipe the tears from Jiwoo’s cheeks. She felt frozen.
They stayed, staring at each other through tears and confusion for a while. The silence in the room was rare for the two of them, but in that moment neither dared to break it. Jinsol didn’t know what to say, while Jiwoo was beyond conflicted. A part of her did still harbour her former romantic adoration of Jinsol, but she didn’t know what it would take for those feelings to be reignited. If she even wanted them to be. She couldn’t get Yoona out of her mind. Her thoughts were flickering between the two women like corrupted film.
“Do you remember that day at the beach?” Jiwoo finally asked.
Jinsol nodded straight away. She couldn’t forget it if she tried.
“I was going to confess to you that day. My last chance before I gave up on the idea for good. On the way there though, you mentioned wanting love. Wanting to find someone. By the time we were sat on the sand, the waves crashing in front of us, I’d talked myself out of it.”
Tears began streaming down Jinsol’s face. A bitter laugh escaped her. It was fucked up fate. They were so close to what they both wanted.
“It’s funny you say that,” Jinsol started, wiping her own tears. “That was the day I realised it was you that I wanted. I didn’t want to find someone else. Something about the two of us alone watching the sun set solidified it in my mind. I couldn’t be happier with anyone else.”
Jiwoo allowed her head to fall face down onto Jinsol’s shoulder, her tears already beginning to wet the fabric of her shirt. How much more fucked up could the situation get? Still, the thought of Yoona was present in her mind. Why couldn’t she have picked up the courage that day? Confessed to Jinsol. Why couldn’t Jinsol have said something sooner? Before Jiwoo had given up all hope and let her feelings die. Now, Jiwoo was stuck between something likely worse than her crush and her best friend being together.
======
The drive to the office was silent. Jinsol had offered to take Jiwoo with her, something about saving her the fuel costs when they were in the same place anyway. Usually she would put some music on to hype herself up for the day. She didn’t dare to. Not today. She could sense the mirror image of her emotions radiating off of Jiwoo. While Jinsol was stressed about the idea of Jiwoo being around Yoona, Jiwoo was stressed about Yoona being around Jinsol. No romantic movie had prepared either of them for how it would feel to be in an actual love triangle.
Yoona was already in the meeting room when they arrived. She looked up at the sound of the door opening, surprised to see both Jinsol and Jiwoo entering together. The awkwardness hit her before she could even question why they were there together. She continued to watch as neither exchanged words as they chose their seats around the oversized table. Jiwoo sat in her usual space next to Yoona by the door, while Jinsol sat in the back corner. Away from both of them.
“So… good morning?”
Both Jiwoo and Jinsol looked up at Yoona. Jinsol smiled politely before looking back to her bag, while Jiwoo muttered a good morning in return. That was weird. She’d only ever seen the two of them being close and borderline clingy with each other. It was strange to see them so far apart, not exchanging in sarcastic comments or jokes.
Jiwoo didn’t know what to do. Neither did Jinsol. Neither one wanted to upset the other by seeming too close to Yoona. An act of caution to protect their feelings. Selfless, but selfish at the same time.
“Is it going to be like this all day?” Yoona asked Jiwoo, genuinely concerned.
As much as Jiwoo wished she had an answer to give Yoona without explaining the whole situation, she didn’t. She didn’t know if Jinsol would stop being too cautious of upsetting her. Jiwoo herself didn’t know if she dared talk too much with Yoona knowing how Jinsol felt. Even being told by Jinsol that it was fine. She knew how her heart would’ve broken if it was the other way round.
“Maybe. I don’t know. It’s not you though, don’t worry. Just something came up last night.”
It wasn’t enough of an answer for Yoona. She’d spent a week getting closer with the two, seeing them become some of her closest friends. “If it’s not me, then what is it? It’s hard to not see me as the issue when Jinsol is sat as far away from me as humanly possible.”
That left a pang in Jiwoo’s heart. Yoona’s first thought was Jinsol. Of course it was. “You can go sit with her if you want.”
A stoic response. The most void of emotion Yoona had seen Jiwoo be. None of the unexplained emotion of the day prior. No happiness or sadness either. Just plain nothing.
“Look at me,” she sighed, smiling when Jiwoo made eye contact. Jiwoo’s heart sped up. She was sure she was blushing.
Yoona nodded. They were getting somewhere. “Tell me what’s going on. I want to help you both.”
Looking over at Jinsol, Jiwoo saw her staring at her. For the first time since they’d met, she couldn’t place the emotion in her eyes. The racing in her heart didn’t stop. Had she upset her? Was she trying to mask it?
“I don’t want to say anything without Jinsol agreeing.”
Her eyes didn’t leave Jinsol. Not when Yoona walked over to her. Not when Yoona leaned in close to Jinsol and muttered something to her. She saw as Yoona flinched as she realised how close to Jinsol she was. She saw as Jinsol stayed as still as she was before, unaffected. Jinsol was still looking at her. Her eyebrows were furrowed now, but her gaze was directly on Jiwoo. A smile formed on Jiwoo’s face. It was mirrored by Jinsol. Smaller than Jiwoo’s, but there regardless. Jinsol said something back to Yoona. Jiwoo couldn’t tell what it was, but she didn’t really mind.
Yoona took her place next to Jiwoo, but she didn’t notice. Her and Jinsol were in some sort of staring contest now. Neither dared blink. Jinsol was taking in Jiwoo’s face. How her expression had softened. Jiwoo was happy to see that Jinsol was showing signs of life again. They’d slept separately. The only time they ever had at a sleepover. Jinsol hadn’t spoken to her in the morning, instead exchanging a simple nod. A smile was progress.
“She said it’s fine,” Yoona stated, breaking Jiwoo out of her trance.
Raising her eyebrow at Jinsol, Jiwoo wanted to confirm it was true. Once Jinsol nodded, she nodded back. “The three of us seem to be in a love triangle.”
This caught Yoona’s attention. Out of everything that could have been wrong, that was not what she expected.
“You have a thing for Jinsol, right?” Jiwoo asked, now looking at Yoona.
A giggle escaped Yoona. She’d been found out. “I guess I do, yeah. Is it that obvious?”
Jiwoo sighed. Deep. That giggle. Why couldn’t it have been for her? About her. Her theory was confirmed. Not that she doubted it. Yoona had made it pretty obvious.
“Yes. It is. Heartbreaking, really, considering I think I’ve been developing a thing for you.”
She looked back at Jinsol. The smile was still present on her face. It was starting to reach her eyes now.
“Oh. You have?” Yoona questioned. She did not see that one coming.
“I have. Obviously to complete the triangle, as it turns out, Jinsol has feelings for me.”
If Yoona wasn’t already in shock at the situation, she sure was now. No wonder things seemed so weird between them. After years of being best friends, they were caught in a situation like this. It was beyond anything she had ever experienced before. She didn’t know what to say. What could she say?
Picking up on Yoona’s apprehension, Jiwoo decided what she wanted to say. Someone had to break the silence. “It doesn’t seem like any of us are going to get what we want here. I hope we can get past it though.”
Yoona’s head tilted. She looked between Jiwoo and Jinsol. They were still looking at each other, smiles widening as time passed.
“Maybe some of us can get what we want.”
“What do you mean by that?” Jiwoo questioned, breaking the invisible string between her eyes and Jinsol’s to look at Yoona.
Yoona formed a smile of her own. “Are you sure it really is me that you want?”
======
As Jiwoo entered the building, she made her way to Yoona’s office. It was locked, but that didn’t matter. Taking out her key, she opened the door and set herself up in front of the desk. She made sure to only just take up the space she needed. It wasn’t long before Yoona joined her, taking up the rest of the space behind the desk.
“No Sol with you today?” she questioned, closing the lid of Jiwoo’s laptop slightly to see her face.
Jiwoo blushed, a usual occurrence for Yoona getting into her personal space. “She said we spend too much time together.”
It wasn’t long before Jinsol walked in, a bag of snacks in hand. She kissed the top of Jiwoo’s head gently as she placed the bag on the side of Yoona’s desk, the only free space for it. The office was definitely too small for the three of them, but they had long been kicked out of the large meeting room. Apparently other departments mattered more than the three of them having their gossip time.
The situation between them had improved greatly over the past couple of weeks. Yoona decided she was going to play cupid. While Jiwoo was very obviously down bad for her, it was clear that her care for Jinsol was more than platonic. It was a weird situation, they all recognised that, but it was working out well so far.
Jiwoo and Jinsol had agreed to try dating each other. A choice that ended up being what they both needed. It only took one date to the beach for Jiwoo to realise that those feelings she had for Jinsol weren’t gone completely. She’d just done a very very good job at keeping them far back in her heart. A very good job at convincing herself that it was all platonic.
Her crush on Yoona was still there. She still couldn’t look her in the eye without becoming a blushing mess. The same went for Yoona with Jinsol. She still laughed herself to tears at Jinsol’s antics, feeling her heart warm every time Jinsol showed her any ounce of care. That was okay though. Jinsol couldn’t bring herself to be jealous at the situation. Neither could Jiwoo. Yoona already walked into the situation thinking that Jiwoo and Jinsol were together, or at least into each other and completely unaware.
As long as Jiwoo came home to her, Jinsol couldn’t ask for anything more. She never crossed any of Jinsol’s boundaries. Never flirted with Yoona in a way that upset her. Just as Yoona didn’t flirt with Jinsol in any way that would upset Jiwoo. It was a mutual understanding. Mutual respect.
If them all being happy meant allowing them their innocent crushes on each other, they were going to accept it. After all, how could any of them feel like a third wheel when they were in a triangle? Those are completely different shapes.