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“You look nice today,” Adolin said.
“I look the same as I always do,” Kaladin said looking down at his Bridge Four uniform.
“Well, maybe you just always look nice,” Adolin said with a grin.
Kaladin rolled his eyes and walked a little faster. Adolin followed even though his meeting was in the opposite direction. “Do you maybe, want to do some sparring together later or—”
“I can’t,” Kaladin said. “I’m training with my men all day.”
“Oh, well maybe I could take you out to dinner—”
“Rock is making stew tonight, attendance is mandatory.”
Adolin deflated a little but Kaladin tried not to let it affect him.
“Ok,” Adolin said. “Ill see you later then.”
Kaladin nodded as Adolin left, finally relaxing once he was gone. Adolin was always so persistent. He flirted with Kaladin in nearly every interaction they had and asked him out nearly every week. It was. . . hard.
Hard to keep hearing Adolin’s flirting and kind romantic words and keep saying no. Kaladin wanted to say yes, storms he wanted that so badly, but Adolin had a certain reputation in the war camps for being a player and Kaladin was not about to be Adolin’s next fling.
That night sitting around the fire as Bridge Four are stew things were tense. Kaladin hadn’t noticed it at first, but the rest of his men were talking in hushed voices and shooting him glances.
“What is it?” Kaladin asked and his men all shared guilty looks with each other as if they were caught doing something they shouldn’t. “Come on, what are you all whispering about?”
Everyone suddenly seemed very interested in their stew.
“Lopen? Kaladin asked, expecting him to spill the secret easily.
“What?”
Kaladin’s eyes narrowed and he tried to make eye contact with the rest of his men. They all averted his eyes. Then he got to Renarin, who seemed the most nervous of them all. Renarin made the mistake of making eye contact with Kaladin for a split second. He shrank under his captains glare.
“Renarin?” Kaladin said. “Care to share what everyone is whispering about?”
“Well. . . Um. . .” Renarin stuttered, looking to the other men who continued to avert their gazes. “We were all just thinking that we don’t know why you keep turning down my brother.”
Kaladin blinked. Of all the things they might have been talking about Kaladin hadn’t expected Adolin to be one of them.
“What?”
“Well it’s just that we know you like him,” Renarin continues. “And he keeps asking you out but you never say yes. We just think that you would both be a lot happier if you actually got together, sir.”
“You all think this way?” Kaladin asked looking to each of his men in turn. And one by one every man nodded, looking sheepish.
Kaladin was a little embarrassed to find out that every one of his men knew about his crush, but that didn’t mean that they got to speak about it behind his back. “While I appreciate your concern, me and Adolin will not be getting together.” Some of the men opened their mouths to protest but Kaladin quickly shut them down. “This is the last I’ll hear of this I hope.” And one by one the men all nodded their heads.
Kaladin went to bed that night frustrated. Frustrated at himself for not hiding his feelings well enough. Frustrated at his men for figuring it out so easily but mostly frustrated at Adolin for being so dam stubborn and putting the idea of Kaladin and Adolin together into his men’s heads.
The next day Kaladin had a meeting he had to attend as Dalinars bodyguard, and of course Adolin was there, always trying to stand just a little too close. But Kaladin was professional, and he plainly ignored any of Adolin’s advances, as a professional should.
When the meeting ended Adolin approached Kaladin properly.
“Hey Kal,” Adolin said. Kaladin’s nickname on Adolin’s lips sent a spark through him that he would never admit to.
“Highprince Adolin,” Kaladin said. Formality was best when Adolin was like this, and Kaladin didn’t want any more rumors getting back around to his men.
Adolin swallowed and he seemed a little nervous, not quite as flirtatious and bold as he usually was. “I. . . um. . . do you really not like me? Because I like you, and everyone around me is telling me that you feel the same way about me. . . except for you.”
“Not everyone is in love with you Adolin,” Kaladin snapped and immediately regretted it. Adolin shrank in on himself, his face falling before he quickly picked up the pieces and faked a smile. He looked on the verge of tears.
“Ok,” Adolin said, his voice breaking slightly on the word. “I’m sorry then Kal—Kaladin. I. . . I should go.”
Kaladin stared stunned watching Adolin leave and still staring in the direction he’d gone long after he’d left.
Had Adolin been upset? Genuinely upset that Kaladin had rejected him? Kaladin had always thought this was some kind of game to Adolin. He could court anyone in the war camps and indeed he tried, and still he wanted Kaladin.
Adolin would dump him before the month was out and then Kaladin would be left worse off than before.
But. . . Kaladin didn’t want to hurt Adolin. That was never his intention. He just wanted Adolin to loose interest. And then once Adolin was over him then Kaladin could mend his own broken heart.
Kaladin went back to train with Bridge Four but they could sense something was off but for once they didn’t push. For that Kaladin was greatful.
But that night after training Renarin found him before he got back to the barracks.
“Sir,” Renarin said, giving Kaladin a salute.
“Renarin, you know you don’t have to be so formal.”
“I know sir, but I feel the need to be formal now to make up for my informality in a moment.”
“What?”
“With all due respect, you are cruel and heartless. Adolin has expressed nothing but compassion and affection for you and you have done nothing but string him along for weeks only to break his heart.”
“Renarin. . .”
“I’m not done sir. You deserve my brother an explanation. A proper explanation. If you truly don’t care for him then fine, let him down gently but if you ever cared at all for my brother then you will show him some respect.” And then Renarin stormed off leaving Kaladin speechless.
Kaladin had heard of Adolin’s romantic flings with half the war camp but he’d never heard of Adolin actually being upset at the ending of any of his relationships. Though maybe that was just because Adolin was always the one to end them.
But Renarin was right. Adolin deserved better than Kaladin saying not everyone is in love with you.
Kaladin first tried Adolin’s rooms. He knocked once on the door and waited. He was about to leave when the door swung open. Adolin was standing on the other side, usually perfect hair a mess, clothes rumpled and eyes red and puffy from crying.
“Kaladin,” Adolin said, surprised. He ran fingers through his hair and tried to straighten his uniform. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to talk,” Kaladin said.
“Talk. . . about what?”
“Can I come in?” Kaladin asked, immediately feeling awkward but not wanting to have this conversation in the hallway.
“Ah. . . sure,” Adolin said sounding equally unsure.
The room was a bit of a mess, the bed covers were rumpled as if slept in and Adolin’s uniform was slung carelessly over the couch. Adolin quickly scrambled to clear the couch, scooping the clothes off the couch and throwing them over a chair.
“Sorry it’s a bit of a mess, I wasn’t expecting company.”
Kaladin just grunted, taking a seat on the couch and Adolin sat beside him. But not beside beside. They were at opposite ends of the couch, not touching.
It was strange now, to not be touched at all by Adolin. Even before feelings had developed for both of them Adolin had always been rather physical.
“I should apologize,” Kaladin said. “What I said earlier wasn’t good of me to say—”
“It’s ok Kal,” Adolin said. “I pushed too hard. I couldn’t take no for an answer, not when it actually mattered. And Renarin kept saying. . . well it doesn’t matter. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel uncomfortable and I’m sorry I didn’t just listen to you in the first place.”
Kaladin sat quietly, absorbing Adolin’s words. When it actually mattered. Did that mean that. . . no it couldn’t. Adolin didn’t care about Kaladin any more than he cared about any of his other flings.
“You just. . . you mean so much to me Kal, I think I. . . never mind. You definitely don’t want to hear that,” Adolin said with a dry nervous laugh.
“What were you going to say?” Kaladin asked.
Adolin blushed. “Don’t make me say it.”
But Kaladin was maybe a little too dense to put the pieces together all on his own. “Its ok Adolin, you can speak your mind around me. We are still going to be working together after all.”
“But this will make you hate me.”
Kaladin’s hand moved as if it had a mind of its own, reaching out and grabbing Adolin’s hand and giving it a squeeze. “Nothing you can say to me now will ever make me hate you Adolin.”
Adolin stared at their conjoined hands. “I. . . I think I’m in love with you.”
Kaladin’s brain stuttered on the words. I think I’m in love with you. And then Kaladin flushed a deep ruby red and so did Adolin.
“See, I knew it would make things worse.”
The thought that Adolin loved Kaladin sent a thrill through his entire body but then his traitorous mind told him that Adolin probably said that to all his consorts. But. . . the only way to know was to ask.
“Adolin, what I said earlier, that not everyone falls for you, that wasn’t entirely true. I. . .” Kaladin stuttered now, unable to find the end of his confession and Adolin just looked heartbroken at him bringing it up again. “I’m scared,” Kaladin said at last. “I’m scared that you’ll stop caring for me when I stop being interesting to you in a week or two.”
“What?” Adolin exclaimed like it was the dumbest thing he’d ever heard.
“You’ve courted half the war camp and none of those relationships had lasted more than a month. I don’t want to be one of them. I don’t want to be a whim of your passion because I’m scared that if I get too close and things don’t work out that I might just break.”
Adolin squeezed their still joined hands. “Kal I could never hurt you like that.”
“I bet you said that to all your other consorts too.”
Adolin opened his mouth and then closed it, his shoulders slumping. “I don’t know how to prove it to you but it feels different when I’m with you. Different from all my other consorts. I’ve never fallen in love with any of them, not truly I don’t think, and we haven’t een been courting and I’m head over heels.”
“Do you mean that?” Kaladin asked.
“Of course I mean it. Your rejection hurt worse than any Id ever faced before because you were the only ever one I really cared about.”
Adolin’s voice was so raw, so vulnerable that Kaladin couldn’t find any lie in them, his mind couldn’t twist the words into something wrong.
“I like you too Adolin,” Kaladin finally said.
Adolin’s whole face lit up the way it always seemed to do when he was talking to Kaladin. “So if I were to ask you to dinner. . .”
“I would say yes,” Kaladin said with a blush.
Adolin let out a girlish squeak “I have the perfect place. They have a large assortment of wine tasting and great food and oh! Does this mean we’re officially courting now?”
Kaladin flushed but found himself smiling. Adolin’s enthusiasm was contagious. “I suppose we are. But I don’t want to take anything too fast. I know you’re. . . experienced in relationships but I’m not.”
“Of course,” Adolin said, giving Kaladin’s hand another squeeze. “We can take things as fast or slow as you want. You’re in charge.”
“So. . . if I’m in charge and I want to kiss you. . .”
“Then I would say yes.”
Kaladin bridged the gap between them which had been slowly shrinking over the course of their conversation, both boys unconsciously sneaking closer. The kiss was perfect. Adolin was a bit surprised at Kaladin’s boldness but was quick to sink into the kiss.
When they finally pulled away Kaladin had to ask one more time “you promise that this is different right? That you won’t get bored of me?”
“Kal I could never get bored of you. Not in a thousand lifetimes.”