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When her father actually agreed to the Medarda’s request for her hand in marriage, Katarina couldn’t really believe it. She's well aware that marriage is only a political affair, not to be done for love. So, knowing her father has disowned her, she'd made peace with the fact that she's to grow old alone and without children.
Ambessa had requested it without really asking her, to be fair. So when it was told to her over dinner, she thought her father was telling a weird joke.
It's been a few summers since and everytime Katarina sees the reminders that it had not been a blissful dream, her heart warms. Even though she'd resigned herself to be okay with a loveless life, having spent some years with Kino, she might let herself feel some of it.
Kino, who's always treated her with the upmost respect and care. They didn’t love each other when they married, of course. Only had seen each other before in glances, short conversations, fleeting family meetings. There had been little to connect them: Kino is a politician. He’s not a fighter. In their methods of handling things, they couldn’t be more different.
Marrying into the Medarda family made Katarina lay down some of her assassin duties. Officially, she’s still an assassin, still does the job eloquently, but her work has leaned a lot more into soldier work, as she’s following Ambessa’s orders, too.
Even now, she wouldn’t really call their relationship love. It's still extremely transactional: she meets his needs, he meets hers.
They're close when appropriate and don't worry about each other when they're apart. At least, that's how Katarina sees it. Sometimes she's not quite sure Kino is as cold about it as she is, which almost makes her feel a little bad, but in the end she decides it's just what makes them Noxian. The sacrifices they make for each other's happiness.
“Nino!”
Katarina catches the boy by the collar as he runs past her, makes him stumble all over himself. “Now where do you think you’re going?” The three summers old child stares at her, as three summers olds do, then begins to struggle himself free. Her grip doesn’t loosen, her gaze hardens, despite the warm giggle that leaves her throat.
Given she isn’t being very serious, Antonin doesn’t take her very seriously. More struggles, a bit of a tantrum, but still no answer. He’s a well growing boy and obviously very smart, but he doesn’t talk a lot. Katarina thinks she can count the amount of times she's heard his voice on one hand.
Sometimes, she likes to joke that he got that one from his uncle. Just as quiet and brooding as Talon used to be when she first got to know him. He was so small, as if he was just skin and bone. Antonin is growing very tall, just like his father, and just like Marcus, another voice in her head says.
“I'm not letting go of you until you tell me.” Her voice is stern, tilts her head to the side. She knows she's probably not going to get his actual voice out of him, but she can't really help but keep trying to tickle it out of him.
Katarina hears footsteps behind her, long before the arms wrap around her chest and belly. It's so big and heavy it's a bit unnerving to her, someone who's always been much closer to starving than eating a full meal. She's done much better with eating ever since she's been pregnant, but she expected it to show a little more. Antonin has been growing well, though.
“C'mon, let him go”, he prompts, to which she rolls her eyes, begrudgingly loosening her grip on his collar. The child, now free of it's shackles, doesn't waste any time running off. Like he was never here to begin with. Katarina doesn't particularly concern herself with it when he disappears, Noxian children are self sufficient by the time they take their first steps.
By the time they speak their first sentences, they're considered grown enough to make their own decisions and it's uncommon for parents to stifle those, try to hold them back.
She huffs, leaning into her husband's grip, nuzzling her head against his chest. “Did you put him up to something?”
“What do you hold me for? I don't know what he's doing any more than you do.” Kino laughs, affectionately, helps her towards the couch. “You know, I think we should swap. Get you pregnant for a change”, Katarina jokes, catching a glimpse of his face when they messily fall onto the leather of the couch. Moving around feels like she's carrying about 10 massive bags of potatoes tied to her hips, dragging her down constantly.
“I think you're getting off way too easy”, she continues, let's him help her position her legs on the couch. He grimaces, then shakes his head. “No thanks. Your pregnancy hormones are bad enough.”
“MY pregnancy hormones? They're ours. Yours now, actually. I'm transferring them right now.” She reaches for his hands, as awkwardly as she can with her pregnant belly in the way, squeezes them as if it's a magical transfer for pregnancy. Obviously doesn't do anything, other than make them both laugh like teenagers in love. “There you go. All yours to shoulder now.”
“Oh dear wolf, no. You can't do this to me, I've got a job.”
“And I don't??” She's slightly offended by the implication that his job is more important than hers, as if he can't just continue doing his pregnant. She would go to battle pregnant, but a certain someone won't exactly let her. Not when she's this close to being due and she guesses she agrees with that one.
She did continue, at first, when it wasn’t as noticeable and when she could still hide her actual pregnancy, but as soon as it became really obvious, Kino became more and more overbearing. Katarina understands where Ambessa may view him as someone who comes short as a noxian, there’s a lot of empathy in his heart, but it’s not out on his sleeve, like hers may be. He does well to protect his emotions and play on his strengths just like any noxian might.
Kino doesn’t actually respond to her accusation, shifts her around and then kisses her hands. “Not right now. Right now you’re a mother”, he says and she can’t exactly disagree. In fact, it makes her feel warm to think about that all the things she had to go through, that she may still justify, aren’t exactly carried onto her own children. Antonin is quiet and reserved and she doubts already he’s going to grow up to be a soldier, but she isn’t upset. She wants him to know he has a choice and there’s not only one predetermined path, like her father had forced upon her.
If there is one thing she refuses to continue it’s the generational trauma. Not the Medarda’s and not the Du couteaus’. Sometimes Ambessa expresses concern, as the grandmother, that Antonin hasn’t spoken and hasn’t expressed interest in fighting like she had at his age.
Katarina remembers her talking about how when she was three summers old, she’d talk full sentences and beat her older family members in practice fights.
Katarina nods. “I knowwww. What do you wanna name this one?” She points her now freed hand at her belly, with a chuckle. The naming process was a little spontaneous between them. Kino had named the first and she has to admit she’s struggling to come up with good ideas.
She’d asked Ambessa for advice and she’d considered asking Marcus, but involving him in any part of the process feels bitter and uncomfortable. She would not want to associate her children with Marcus and she is so extremely glad that if Antonin looks like anyone, it’s Kino. It’s a little like her genes barely tried, but it scares her with her second. She knows how much alike Marcus she looks.
“Awh, I still have some time, don’t I?”, Kino prompts, moving off of the couch all secret-like he’s got something planned.
“Maybe. Could be anyday now, really.” Her gaze follows him suspiciously, her head tilting slightly.
“What are you doing?”, she continues, raising an eyebrow. Kino doesn’t respond, only whistles, walks around the room like he’s looking for something really specific that he just can’t put his finger on where it may be. “Oh, I don’t know!”, he exclaims, putting his hands on his hips. She doesn’t really understand him sometimes.
Moving hurts, so she doesn’t, makes herself comfortable on the couch. “Well, let me know whenever you found whatever you’re going to murder me with.” He laughs. “Oh c’mon, I wouldn’t be that obvious. You wouldn’t see me coming for at least… a quarter of my plan.”
“Sure, baby.”
But he continues being extremely restless and it unnerves her a little bit. “What are you thinking about? Did Nino bite you in the ass?”
“No”, is all she gets as a response and it makes her sigh. Now it’s beginning to piss her off a little bit. The pregnancy hormones don’t exactly compliment her already very thin patience. Like most noxians, Katarina doesn’t really hide her impatience. She’s emotional, fiery and always says exactly what she means, makes no attempts to sugarcoat anything she does.
Eventually, she closes her eyes, listens to him rumble about. She can tell when his footsteps are getting closer again and she only opens her good eye.
“What’s that?”, Katarina asks, turning only as much as is comfortable with her big belly.
In between his fingers lays a small square box. He’s standing in front of her like he’s afraid she might bite him if he gets too close. He’s so silly it kind of warms her past her annoyance. He shifts on his feet, awkwardly, like he isn’t quite sure where to start. “I— Well, y’know, I got you a gift. Since we’ve been married for 4 summers now.”
Kino stops in front of the couch, then kneels down to her level and she huffs. Gift-giving is a little uncommon in noxian marriages, and so is wearing any sign of it. Rings are atypical, too sentimental. Katarina normally would agree and so when they got married, there was little ceremony and no rings were shared between them.
At least, back then. Because when Kino finally opens the box, it reveals two, very simple, small rings.
“I-I didn’t get anything intricate because I imagined something fancy would get in your way.”
She blinks. Once, twice, then starts laughing. He looks so stupid stumbling over his words she finds it hard to take him seriously. Then she feels a bit bad for her reaction, when he looks at her with his big puppy eyes. “Sorry, sorry. You’re just so sentimental”, she apologizes, reaching for the box in his hands, taking it into her own.
Moving it around in the sun, she watches the way the light catches the gold of the rings, there’s slight differences between them but if you didn’t look closely, they could be mistaken for the same one. Hers is slightly simpler, more of a gold band than anything resembling a marriage ring and she finds it endearing how well he knows her to have this handcrafted.
Especially without her knowing or noticing beforehand. She wonders briefly how long he’s had this planned and how much he’s thought it through, given the way he’s anxiously looking for a positive reaction.
“I love them. You’re so cute”, she takes out her own ring, to put it on her finger, then reaches for his hand, to put his ring on. “Here. To do you the honors.”
“Awh, you took my moment.” He gets back up on his feet, then climbs onto the couch, wherever he still finds space next to her legs. There’s little room for his lanky ass, but they make do.
“Sorry, you were taking too long”, she shoves him, smiles, pauses to think for just a second, looks down at her belly. “Let’s name this one René.”