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He sees him. Standing at the aisle, looking all beautiful. His big, green eyes – bright and shiny.
Then he sees his hand searching for Rody’s hand. Their fingers intertwine.
And then he feels sick. He wants to scream, he wants to shout. His legs are all weak; he almost falls to his knees. It’s hot in here. His hands are all sweaty, despite the fact that they’re always sweaty because of his quirk. When Izuku and Rody start saying their vows, he feels an awfully painful ache in his heart. The pain is even worse than it was during the war, where his heart was basically ripped out. It’s a pain he’s never felt before. He can't catch his breath. He feels dizzy, and his mind is spinning. He wants to run, but he can’t. He wants to hide, but he can’t. He wants to blow up this fucked-up world. But he can’t.
He knows it’s been almost six years since they broke up. He knows they’re almost thirty and that he needs to grow up. But he was always a big baby at heart, and he doesn’t want to grow up. Not when it means moving on from Izuku.
How can he move on, when Izuku was his “first everything,” basically? Starting off with first friend and first rival. Then he was his first love, first kiss, first sex. First “I love you,” confessed in the middle of the night, all stressed out about saying it for the first time ever. He’s his first… and last.
Even when it hurts, he can’t take his eyes off him. He’s truly stunning in this suit and tie. He’s stunning… and holding another man’s hand. A long time ago, he was holding Katsuki’s hand, squeezing it tight and kissing the back of it every second he could. A long time ago, he was kissing Katsuki’s lips, devouring every bit of him. A long time ago, he was touching him like no one ever did before, making him scream at the top of his lungs. A long time ago, he was holding him every time he had a nightmare in the middle of the night. A long time ago… he was in love with him, just like Katsuki is to this day.
But it was a long time ago. They can’t go back to the way it was before. The two of them don't exist anymore, and Katsuki doesn't know how much more he can handle. But even if it hurts like hell, he wants to be in Izuku’s life. Even if he’s not an important part of it. Because he will probably be in love with him forever. He is in love now, he was in love six years ago when Izuku was breaking up with him, he was in love when his heart stopped. And he will love him even when his heart stops again. That’s how much he loves him. Not even his death will make his love for Izuku disappear. That’s something that cannot be changed. Not now. Not ever. Because that’s the reality of true love, and you just can’t escape it.