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Language:
English
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Published:
2025-10-20
Updated:
2025-10-20
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3,052
Chapters:
6/?
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Random Things I've Heard *No Context*

Summary:

Uhh, I started a list several years ago of ridiculous, stupid, out of pocket, and funny things I hear throughout the day. At home, at school, at work, at my church. I don't know if anyone will ever find this, but if you're interested, I hope it makes you laugh. I started this when I was still in high school, so a majority of the quotes will be from people I went to school with. Names will be shown only as brackets [], to signify there was a name there, but for privacy reasons, I won't be including names. Unless it's the name of a famous person or a fictional character of a published work. I'll probably include several quotes per chapter because as of now, 10/20/2025, I have over 900 quotes on THE LIST.

Chapter 1: The Start of THE LIST

Chapter Text

Uhhhh, here we go.

1) "There's too much IQ in this room for me."

2) "Her name was Toes."

3) "Out of all my friends, you're the one I could see committing treason."

4) "Do I read books? No! I'm not a nerd!"

5) "Just say 'yes sir' and tag along."

6) "Did you know you're dying?"

7) "How's your day been, []?" "Honey."

8) "It's a very good grey... No, don't touch it!"

9) "Grey for a better tomorrow."

10) "I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about."

11) "Of course I sit down and my cheeseburger is in the microwave."

12) "Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. And my cheeseburger."

13) "There's a lot of white privilege at this table."

14) "Iconic hotdog."

15) I'm sorry, you're not flirting anymore."

16) "Don't underestimate sandcastles."

17) "I got hair!"

18) "That's why modern."

19) "There's a trashcan in here? WOW!"

20) "Which one's the brake??"

21) "Holy fish!"

22) "I see Pennywise in there! That's not good."

23) "You're Jiggly Puff."

24) "[], did you poop on this?" "What? Oh, yeah."

25) "You're a loser. I got you."

26) "Your knee tastes good!"

27) "I live to cry."

28) "I remember we used to tell [] he was adopted."

29) "I thought about you all summer, []." "That's funny, I didn't even remember your name until yesterday."

30) "That was this."

31) "You could have hit him with a truck and it would have been nothing. I asked, 'Dude, what's wrong?' and all he says is, 'I ate a brownie'."

32) "Are you selling brownies?"

33) "Hello. I forgot about you."

34) "I won." "Won what?" "I don't know."

35) "You get the princess one!" "Yippie skippy!"

36) "So they think you're a chump who didn't show up?"

37) "You don't know where the gym is?"

38) "Now we are going to talk about the most important origin story... The beginning of Spiderman."

39) "Dude, chemistry is so much easier once you pay attention."

40) "SIT DOWN []!...What?"

41) "I don't relax, ever." "Obviously. That's why you're standing next to the trash can."

42) "He's on those brownies again."

43) "My rough draft wasn't good enough? You don't get to be in here."

44) "You got your detailed circles wrong." "You gotta make your circles more circle-y."

45) "Nobody does anything for my birthday. Not even my family."

46) "My pencil went through a lot more than yours did."

47) "Keep giving me sass, [], see what happens to your PS3." "There goes your Xbox Live!"

48) "Are you a fat boy or a frat boy?"

49) "You're gay." "No, you are." "Dang it."

50) "I just saw your hand come out of nowhere."