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It wasn't supposed to be like this . At least not this bad.
It had been 2 days since Reniae left with the southland trader to the Northland . Gizzida resided beside the big window of his water house all alone at night . He was nearly ready to off his two very loyal disciples yesterday night if only it wasn't for Sabato's seemingly sincere words .
"..."
He clearly remembered what he had said to Reniae back then .
Reniae. The only person in his life who he treasured so much . If only he did not make the mistake of being too possessive of her back then . No regrets now could solve it.
Being a mighty sky person and desperately wishing for a mud person to love him back was a shame to the great lord Kata, holy Armanu and the other sky people .
How shameful .
But he knew it couldn't be helped.
All he ever wanted in his life was to be the Galtir and to be the one to eradicate the Salt Mountain tribes — the descendants of the Great Eagle .
Still he wasn't at peace .
Why?
Everything went according to plan . Except...except...!
When he brought Reniae —a girl who was supposed to be sacrificed in the spring festival years ago.
The reason why she wasn't sacrificed?
It's him.
He was aware of that . He went towards every direction to stop Reniae's menstruation back then . Making up lies . Making her drink a strong fluid which would help to stop her menstruation. Just to . Just to keep her alive . Just to protect her . He even got flogged just for her.
"Haha..."
Gizzida let out a dry laughter realizing how far he went just to protect a mere sacrifice. He wasn't worthy of being a sky person , he thought .
Tears started to form in his sky blue eyes which resembled that of his ancestors . It wasn't long before he started crying burying his face in his hands.
The moon highlighted his face when he finally raised his face from his hands after wiping away his tears .
Oh..how funny...the almighty Gizzida of the Golden Forest, The Galtir , the well known fundamentalist who was famous for his hate towards the mud people was now longing for one himself.
Neither was he ever kind towards any mud person other than her nor did he stop the sacrifice of innocent girls during the spring festival .
Gizzida slowly started to come to a realization that
It was all his fault .
It was his fault for always thinking that mud people were worthless and below him. It was his fault that he followed the so called "sacred" rituals just to ascend to the heavens . It was his fault that he thought that eradicating the Salt Mountain tribes would make him ascend the heavens. It was his fault for not even trying to understand the pain of the girls who basically got murdered in the Golden Forest. It was his fault as to why Reniae rejected him and even muttered the Lugal's name in her sleep . He was always..the wrong one...
"Haah..." Gizzida sighed .
Maybe this is just me being punished for developing feelings for a mud person...
If...if only he were a mud person... if if only he were... would he have been able to be the one to embrace Reniae even before the Lugal of the Salt Mountain tribes won her over...would he...
Now there was no turning back...all he wanted was to die after eradicating the descendants of the great eagle...well actually he didn't actually even wanted to do that now. He just wanted this to end .
For the first time in his life he wished that his loyal followers would kill him.
Poison him , stab him or even perform a fire Nigak to burn his whole body.
The more he thought the more he fantasized about how he just wanted to call back Reniae from her mission , tell her that he would step down from being the Galtir and live with her without caring about her race , class , gender or anything ; about how he didn't care about eradicating the Salt Mountain Tribe anymore just to ascend to the heaven because deep down he knew that
Reniae was his only heaven.
Was this blasphemy?
Oh! great Kata and great Armanu....is this how the fate of a sky person who has fallen in love with someone out of his reach really is...
Reniae liked the Lugal and the Galtir was aware of it...but did his sacrifices and kindness mean nothing to her... was he THIS worthless..?
"What's the use of thinking about this... I already messed this up... all by myself .... "
Gizzida murmured to himself .
He slowly closed his eyes. He was tired of it. Tired of being the Galtir and tired of regretting his actions. The pain was getting unbearable.
Not even having the energy to think anymore Gizzida fell asleep on that spot only .
What waited him was a miracle.
"Hey kiddo wake up!" he heard the voice of a man .
Huh? who could be calling me like that?
That was when he woke up and found himself in an entirely different setting. Glancing in a puddle nearby he saw himself—
Not as the Galtir of The Golden Forest
But as a mud person.