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Marinette’s parents were away for the week. Alya and Nino were having date night. Adrien…well, she didn’t really know what Adrien was doing.
The point was, tonight was looking like a great night to get drunk by herself.
Or, she thought, as a knock sounded out from the balcony door, maybe she wouldn’t be getting drunk alone.
Marinette took a deep breath, rearranging the bottles of alcohol—thank you, Alya, for giving her random bottles at random times—on her desk and trying to steady her heartbeat. This wasn’t anything big. No, this was just the possibility of getting drunk with the superhero partner that she was definitely in love with when her parents weren’t home.
She was beyond thankful that they’d eventually fallen back into their normal patterns after he’d kissed her and she’d rejected him when they were sixteen. It took a while, but eventually Chat started coming back around and things returned to the way they’d always been. He’d come around to get patched up if the cure didn’t heal something, or he’d just come around for snacks and to hang out. It was great.
Until she was eighteen and realised that maybe Chat was overtaking Adrien in her heart.
That led to the second admittance to Alya that she routinely hung out with a superhero in her bedroom—the first being when she was still in freakout mode after he’d kissed her—and she’d panicked for a while before accepting that, yes, Marinette Dupain-Cheng was in love with Chat Noir.
Of course Marinette, being Marinette, never actually did anything about it.
The kiss was probably because of a momentary crush, no matter what he’d said at the time. There was no way he still had feelings for her when she realized hers, and there was no way he had them now.
She tucked her hair behind her ears, taking one last breath to steady herself before climbing up to her bed and opening the hatch.
“Hey, Chat,” she said, meeting Chat’s grin with her own. She moved out of the way, and the hero swung in, closing the door behind him.
“What are we doing tonight, Princess?” he asked, following her down the ladder.
Marinette grinned, waving her arm like a gameshow showgirl at the bottles on her desk. “We’re getting drunk.”
Chat laughed, crossing the room and plucking up a bottle of vodka. “Sounds like my kind of night.”
They collected the bottles and some snacks brought them up to Marinette’s bed, readying themselves for a drunken X-Men marathon.
*********
“If you were a mutant, what would your powers be?”
Chat looked away from the screen, glancing at the girl curled into his side. “Princess, you know I’m already basically a mutant, right?”
They were starting on their second bottle of vodka, and had long since finished the popcorn Marinette had made, and Rogue was strapped into Magneto’s mutant making machine.
“Yeah, I know,” Marinette agreed. “But, like, what would you want them to be, if you could choose?”
Chat thought for a while, watching Storm and Jean try to get Wolverine to the top of the machine. “I like being Chat Noir,” he finally said. “I’d want these powers.”
Marinette nodded slowly, before bursting into giggles. She reached up and stroked his cat ears. “If you were a mutant, these would be real.”
He rubbed his head into her hand, a purr starting up. Usually he could control it, but he was well on his way to being drunk, and, hey, purring wasn’t so bad, right?
“What would yours be?”
Marinette grinned at him, throwing her arms wide. “I want to fly!”
*********
Six empty bottles later—some vodka, some rum, some something strange that neither could really identify and was probably from Nino’s attempt at making moonshine and tasted vaguely like apples—and they were starting on the prequels. The weird-ass Wolverine prequels that don’t make a lot of sense but they both agreed they should watch them, if only to mock them.
“Who would win in a fight?” Marinette asked, tilting her head back to stare at the slightly blurry boy behind her. “Me or Wolverine?”
“Pre- or post-Project X Wolverine?” Chat was impressed by how much of a heavy weight Marinette was. He’d never really seen her get drunk before, despite how often Alya made them all go clubbing. He knew that the only reason he hadn’t passed out already was thanks to a side effect of the Miraculous that made it really hard for him to get drunk, but Marinette didn’t have that excuse.
The girl in question thought for a moment. “Post,” she finally decided on.
Chat nodded. “Okay, so he’s got the metal claws and the whole not-dying thing. What do you have?”
Marinette scrunched her face up in concentration. What did she have? This was Marinette fighting Wolverine, not Ladybug. Most of her powers disappeared with the suit.
“I used to take karate?” she finally said. “And my dad has a really big sword in his closet. I don’t know why.”
Chat nodded again, with far too much seriousness than was required for a drunken discussion of a hypothetical fight between the tiny girl lying against him and a fictional superhero. “How good are your sword skills?”
“Practically non-existent.” Marinette grinned, stuffing a cookie in her face.
“That settles it.” Chat pulled her closer, tapping a finger on her nose. “I’m gonna teach you to fence with your really big sword and then you're gonna go kick Wolverine’s ass.”
Marinette giggled, pressing her face into his chest. “Fencing’s for dorks.”
Chat stared at her, mock offence seeping into his voice. “I’ll have you know, I’m a national champion fencer, Princess.” Was that too much? Was that giving away his identity? Would she be able to look up national fencing championship winners and figure out who he was? At the moment, Chat couldn’t be bothered to contemplate the matter anymore than that, and, honestly, he didn’t really care.
“And you’re a dork.” Marinette rolled her head to smile up at him. “That proves my point. Thank you, Chat.” She pulled away slightly, refocusing her attention on baby Wolverine running away from home. “I wanna fight like a pirate.”
*********
“Okay, okay, okay. Professor X. Magneto. And…Toad.”
They were on the prequels now—the actual good prequels where Professor X was hot and secretly gay for Magneto—and had run through most of their bottles of alcohol.
“Prequels or regular?”
At some point during the last two movies, Marinette had somehow ended up in Chat’s lap, his face making a home for itself in his neck.
“Regular.”
They were also completely wasted by this point. Honestly, being superheroes was the only reason they weren’t dead with how much they’d drank.
“Okay.” Chat paused for a while, mulling over his choices. “Kill Toad. I mean, he died in, like, the first movie anyway. Uh…marry Professor X, cause, I mean, he runs a secret superhero school. He’s probably raking in the dough. I bet he needs a trophy husband. I’d be pretty hot arm candy. So that leaves…Magneto? Yeah, I’d fuck him.”
Marinette giggled, leaning back into him and reaching for their currently open bottle. She meant to say something, but baby Magneto was killing the Nazi’s who killed his mom, so sue her for being a bit distracted.
“Your turn.” Chat’s words brought her back to reality, and she turned her face to watch him. “Hawkmoth. Ladybug. And Chat Noir.”
Marinette shoved him—or that was her intention, at least. Her movements were a bit sloppy and she ended up just resting her hand against his chest. “You can’t use real people,” she reminded him. “Just mutants.”
“But we’re basically mutants,” Chat argued. “Plus we never actually made that a rule.”
Marinette contemplated pushing her point further, but that just seemed like way too much work. “Fine. Kill Hawkmoth.” That was the easy one. But would she rather sleep with Chat, or marry him? “Fuck Chat Noir and marry Chat Noir. The end. Done.”
“That’s not how it works!” Chat pushed away from her, rising to loom overhead. “You can’t choose me for two things!”
“Yes, I can,” Marinette insisted, lifting her chin indignantly. “Anyway, I said the end, so we shouldn’t even be talking about this anymore. The end means it’s over.”
Chat snorted, settling back down and pulling her back into him. “That’s still not how it works,” he mumbled into her hair, only to be shushed as they were both drawn back into the movie.
*********
“Truth or dare, Princess?”
“Dare.”
Chat was silent as he thought through his options. “I dare you to chug the rest of the tequila.”
Marinette made a face, picking up their final bottle and sloshing around the mouthful or so left in the bottom before lifting it to her mouth and swallowing it.
“That was gross,” she muttered, pushing away from Chat to flop back against the bed. “I hate tequila.”
Chat flipped over too, in a less than graceful move that left him hovering above her. He darted down, pressing a sloppy kiss to her cheek. “You drank most of the bottle,” he reminded her.
Marinette snorted. “Truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
She stared up at him, their eyes searching each other’s souls. “What do you want more than anything else?”
Chat was breathing heavily, his eyes trailing down to her lips. “I really want to kiss you, Princess.” He didn’t give her a chance to react before he spoke again. “Truth or dare?”
“Truth.” Marinette’s voice was barely a whisper, Chat’s eyes roving over her face in a silence that seemed to last forever before they met hers once more. They stared into each other’s eyes like they held the universe.
“What are you thinking about?”
Marinette’s tongue darted out, swiping along her lips. “How much I want you to kiss me.”
Chat complied, darting down and capturing her lips with his own. Her arms reached up and pulled him closer, her fingers tangling in his hair. They melted into each other, despite the sloppiness of being drunk, and the movie was quickly forgotten.
*********
Marinette woke up feeling like Bastille Day fireworks were going off in her head. The sun shining in through her window was too bright, and the weight against her side was too warm. The weight adjusted itself and groaned, and Marinette forced herself to peel open her eyes. She was met with a mop of blonde hair in her face, and realized that Chat must still be there.
What happened last night? Her head hurt too much to try to think about it, but she could remember Chat showing up. She remembered drinking and watching X-Men, and she remembered that Chat would sleep with Magneto, and then…nothing. Absolutely nothing.
She studied the back of Chat’s head, his face being pressed into the mattress so that she wondered how he could breathe, and tried to figure out what was wrong with it. Because there was something wrong with it, or, at the very least, different.
Her breath caught in her throat as she made her second realization of the morning.
Chat wasn’t Chat.
Or, well, obviously he was Chat, but the lack of cat ears meant that he’d definitely transformed back at some point during the night.
She sat up, slowly, trying not to jostle her head too hard, and made her third realization.
Chat was completely naked, if the fact that his bare ass was sticking out of the sheet was any indicator.
Why the hell was Chat Noir naked in her bed?
She pulled the sheet the rest of the way off of him and wrapped it around herself when she realized that he was not the only one.
Marinette took a deep breath, running her hand through her hair. Okay. This was good. This was fine. This was totally fine. She was just in bed complete naked with the equally naked love of her life who didn’t look like the love of her life right now because he wasn’t wearing a leather cat suit—or anything else, frankly—and who she probably had sex with the night before if the nakedness was any indicator. There was nothing wrong with this. Nothing at all. No need to freak out.
Chat adjusted in his sleep again, and Marinette’s pep talk was thrown to the wind as she squealed and poked his shoulder with her toe.
“Stop,” Chat grumbled, pressing his face harder into the mattress. “Too loud. Sleep.”
“No,” Marinette hissed. “Stop sleeping. This is serious, Chat! You’re not transformed and you’re naked and I’m naked and we were drunk and I don’t remember anything and what happened and—”
Chat’s hand came up to grope at her face, ending its search when it covered her mouth. Her voice had risen in pitch far too much for his hungover liking. “Quiet.”
Marinette scowled, pushing his hand away. “No, I won’t be quiet, Chat! We need to talk about this. I think…I think we had sex.”
“What?!” All sleep was gone from Chat’s voice as he bolted upwards, Marinette’s eyes training on his face to avoid looking at…other parts.
But she forgot one specific detail.
One very important detail.
Because Chat wasn’t Chat right now. There was no mask covering his face. And that was why it was not Chat’s eyes that met hers but—
“Adrien?!” Her voice reached a pitch neither of them had ever heard before, and Chat’s—Adrien’s—eyes widened even more, a hand reaching up to his face to confirm that, nope, there was definitely no mask there.
“Oh my god,” he whispered, his other hand joining the first on his face. “Oh my god. Holy shit.”
“You’re Adrien Agreste.” One of Marinette’s own hands was running through her hair because holy shit this could not be happening, the other holding her sheet tight to her chest. “Chat Noir is Adrien Agreste. Adrien Agreste is Chat Noir.”
“This isn’t how I wanted you to find out, Mari, I swear!”
“We had sex. Probably. I had sex with Chat Noir. I had sex with Adrien Agreste. At the same time. Oh god, it’s like a weird three way with only two people.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should have told you. You deserve to have found out at a better time than this. I—”
“Would you please cover that up?” Marinette’s voice was at a hysterical level as she gestured at him. “I can’t think properly with that…that thing hanging out.”
Adrien glanced down, quickly reaching to pull her giant cat pillow over his lap and turning red. “Sorry.”
They sat in silence for a few minutes, no longer talking over each other and just staring. This was strange, yes, that Chat Noir had sat in class with her all through middle and high school, and that he was one of her best friends outside the masks as well. But it wasn’t that bad, was it? Chat was Adrien, and Adrien was Chat, and that was okay. If Chat had to be someone she knew, Adrien was probably the best person. She could deal with this. This would work out. Everything would be okay.
She nodded to herself, Adrien’s eyes tracking the movement. “Okay,” she said. “Okay. We can—this is fine. This is good. I just…I just need time to think.” Adrien’s face fell, and she rushed to fix what she’d said. “Chat—Adrien, it’s good. It’s good that it’s you, okay? I just…I need some time to process this. Because I’m pretty sure we had sex and I don’t remember it and I’d need time to process that whether you’d revealed your identity or not, okay? We’re going to be okay. I’m not…mad or anything. I just need some time to be able to put Adrien and Chat together in my head.”
Adrien nodded, letting out a breath of relief. Marinette wasn’t mad. That was good. He’d had visions of her freaking out when he told her who he was, and, while she did freak out, it was more of a oh-my-god-Chat-is-Adrien-and-he’s-naked-in-my-bed kind of freak out. Which was understandable. He’d been having that freak out, too, though it was slightly more holy-shit-I’m-naked-in-Marinette’s-bed-and-I’m-not-transformed.
So everything was going to be okay.
His eyes fell onto Marinette’s alarm clock, and he swore when he realized that he was definitely going to be late to a photo shoot. There was then a mad scramble as he tried to figure out where his clothes ended up, and another to get an equally hungover Plagg to come out from under the bed, before he took off through the skylight.
Marinette flopped back against the bed, her sheet coming loose as she let go of it in favour of pressing her palms to her eyes. Tikki came out from wherever she’d been hiding.
“Are you okay, Marinette?”
“Chat Noir is Adrien Agreste,” her chosen muttered for probably the hundredth time that morning. “And we almost definitely had sex last night.” She peeked out at the kwami. “Can you find my phone? I need to talk to Alya.”
*********
It was a few weeks later when Chat found Ladybug sitting on a roof, her arms wrapped around her knees.
He’d visited Marinette on and off since that night, the two of them dancing around each other as they tried to work out where their relationship stood. Nothing else had happened, but Chat was pretty confident that she felt something close to what he felt for her. Hopefully, once she’d fully accepted that he was also Adrien, they could be together.
That was the dream, anyway.
But, for now, something was up with Ladybug.
He slid down onto the roof beside her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her close. “What’s up, Bugaboo?”
Ladybug stiffened for a moment before laying her legs out in front of her. “I have to tell you something,” she said, not looking at him.
“I’m all ears,” Chat said, smiling when she finally looked up to meet his eyes.
Ladybug took a deep breath, biting her lip. “I’m pregnant?”
Chat blinked, grinning at her. “That’s great?” he guessed. “Who’s the father? Have you told him yet?”
Ladybug looked away, before shyly glancing up at him through her eyelashes. “I’m telling him right now.”
“Right now?” Chat’s face scrunched in confusion. “But I’m the only one here? There’s no one—wait. Me?” Ladybug nodded. “But I can’t—you—we never—I only….” Chat trailed off, his eyes widening in shock. “Ma-marinette?”
Ladybug offered him a small smile. “Surprise?”
“You—you’re Marinette! Marinette is Ladybug!” Chat’s face broke out in a grin again, and he wrapped his arms around the only girl he’d ever loved. “Holy shit, Princess—my Lady—this is great! I—” He broke off again, staring at her. “You’re pregnant,” he stated, the reason for this reveal coming back to him. “Oh my god, you’re pregnant.”
Ladybug looked away. “I’m not trying to pressure you into a relationship or anything,” she said. “We can still just be friends, if that’s what you want. But I’m keeping the baby. If you don’t want anything to do with it—”
“Of course I want everything to do with it!” Chat interrupted, and Ladybug’s eyes returned to his face, which featured a smile so big and full of happiness that Ladybug thought it might break his face. “I’m going to be a father!” He threw himself at Ladybug, pulling her to him and sending them both toppling over onto the roof.
Ladybug laughed, her own arms winding around Chat. He squeezed her tightly before pulling back a bit, leaning over Ladybug and grinning down at her.
“I love you, Marinette,” he said, unwrapping an arm from around her to push her bangs out of her eyes. “I love you so much.”
“I love you, too.” Ladybug grinned back at him, and they both lay there for a long time on the roof, just staring at each other and grinning like idiots, Chat balancing above her, until he leaned down, resting his forehead against hers.
“We’re going to be parents,” he laughed. “Holy shit, Mari. We’re having a baby.” He pulled back again, staring into her eyes and deciding to just go for it. “I really want to kiss you.”
Ladybug was still for a moment, before she surged forward, her lips meeting his in an awkward, still-smiling kiss.
They were having a baby.