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Hitoka was scared of Asahi at first. He was so tall and he had a beard and long hair. He was exactly the type of guy her mother warned her about. He was a bad boy, a punk, a rebel. At least that’s what Hitoka first thought. It didn’t take long to discover the real Asahi. He was caring and gentle. The exact opposite of a “bad boy”. He was exactly what Hitoka needed.
“Azumane-san! Would you like a water bottle?” Hitoka asked, running up to the still-panting Asahi. The team had just finished their morning conditioning drills.
“Thanks, Yachi-san! And I told you, at least call me Asahi-san,” he said, grinning. Every time he smiled, her heart squeezed a little harder.
“But how can I call you that when you still call me Yachi-san?” Hitoka replied, letting her hair fall in front of her face to cover her blushing cheeks. Asahi laughed and patted Hitoka on the shoulder.
“Alright, then call me Asahi-san, Yacchan.” Asahi had overheard Takinoue-san from the Neighborhood Association call her that a few times. Hitoka thought her heart was going to explode right then and there. Her blush that had been previously contained to her cheeks spread to her entire body. She had never thought she would hear that come out of his mouth.
“U-um, okay then, A-asahi-s-san…” Hitoka muttered, avoiding Asahi’s gaze. She never thought she could be so happy and embarrassed at the same time.
“It’s about time! We’ve been walking home together for what, a month now? Oh, and thank you for the water!” Asahi said. He winked and turned to go meet up with the rest of the team. Hitoka smiled and said, “Bye, Asahi-san.” She liked the way his name sounded.
Hitoka was amazed by Asahi. In her eyes, he had it all. He was a great volleyball player, he was handsome, he was kind, smart, and he was so good at talking. She wondered how he did it. Hitoka felt like she could count on one hand the number of times she talked to him without stuttering. He seemed so confident in himself and sure of everything he said. Hitoka wished some of that confidence would rub off on her.
-
Asahi you idiot, you can’t just call her Yacchan without any prior indication that she wants to be called that, Asahi thought as soon as he turned away. And what was with that wink? Why do you always do dumb things when you talk to her? Asahi was glad his embarrassment didn’t kick in until after he started to walk away. He could feel his cheeks burning, hot and red. Daichi clapped a hand on Asahi’s back, smiling.
“Our manager really is cute, isn’t she?” he asked. Asahi took a moment to think about it.
“Yeah, she really is. She’s like the little sister I always wanted,” Asahi smiled. He felt the need to protect her, which turned out to be quite easy. After finding out that their houses were near each other, he decided that he would make sure she got home safe after their evening practices. At first, he tried to keep an eye on her from afar, but he almost got the cops called on him by a woman thinking he was a stalker. That was a hard one to get out of. The woman didn’t believe him when he said he was a student, so she made him show her his school ID and call Takeda-sensei to have him confirm it. Then she kept accusing him of stalking Hitoka while Asahi tried explaining that he was trying to prevent a stalker from stalking her. The whole situation was frustrating and exhausting. The next day, Asahi decided to just call out to Hitoka.
“Yachi-san! Is your house this way too?” Hitoka was visibly startled and Asahi spent the next three minutes apologizing for scaring her.
“Ah, it’s really fine Azumane-san! I just wasn’t expecting it is all!” Hitoka said for the thousandth time, trying to calm Asahi.
“I really didn’t think it would be that loud or that the street would be this quiet and I’m so sorry about that,” Asahi said, also for the thousandth time. Hitoka couldn’t stop herself from laughing.
“You really do have a glass heart,” she said softly, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “Oh! Did I say that out loud? Wait, was that rude? I’m so sorry! I just heard Sugawara-san say it and I was thinking it was true and oh no I offended you.” Hitoka’s shoulders dropped. I blew it, she thought.
“Hey, it’s alright. I think I’ve accepted it by now,” Asahi chuckled. Hitoka still looked slightly dejected. “Yachi-san, why don’t we start this whole conversation over? Yeah?”
Hitoka forced herself to take a deep breath to calm down and replied, “Yes, can we please?”
“Of course,” Asahi said, “let’s do that. So, Yachi-san, is your house this way too?”
“Y-Yes, it is!” Hitoka said, brightly.
“What a coincidence, so is mine! Shall we walk together?” Asahi asked. Hitoka flashed Asahi a genuine grin.
“Um, yes! We shall!”
-
That first walk home was awkward, but Hitoka was still glad. She collapsed into bed that night, hugging her blanket to her, smiling. She had been trying to think of ways to get closer to Asahi for weeks. After Hinata convinced her that Asahi really wasn’t a gang leader, Hitoka started paying more attention to him. She noticed the way he offered to help the first years put the net away at the end of practice, even though Daichi told him not to. She noted that he always took a backseat in conversations, only adding his input when he truly had something he wanted to say. One day, on her way home, she saw him walking in front of her. He was well-built; he looked like he could pick her up with just his pinky finger. But there was something about the way he carried himself that made him seem more… meek. That day, as Hitoka walked home behind Asahi, she felt her heart skip a beat. Though no one else knew what had happened, she still felt embarrassed. The lightest shade of pink tinted her face. At that moment, Hitoka became entranced.
She watched as Asahi turned onto the street right before hers. They lived so close, Hitoka wondered how they had never run into each other before. Maybe it’s destiny that we met at the volleyball club. Hitoka fanned her cheeks, finding the thought of destiny incredulous. She had never been one to believe in it and she wasn’t going to start now. But what if…
-
“Yacchan, you ready to go home?” Asahi asked, putting the last of his things into his bag. Hitoka jogged up to him from where she was waiting with Hinata and Kageyama. Asahi noticed a sparkle in her eyes that wasn’t there before.
“Let’s go, Asahi-san!”
As they walked, they fell into a comfortable silence. The night air was warm and the buzz of insects floated through the air. Hitoka’s mind was going a mile a minute, as usual, weighing the pros and cons of confessing her feelings to Asahi. They had only grown stronger over the past month. Asahi was trying to remember if he wrote down the English homework.
They walked past Asahi’s street. That first day they walked home together, Asahi had told Hitoka that he lived a couple streets past her so that he could walk her all the way home. He would loop back to his street after a few minutes. Asahi didn’t mind, as long as Hitoka was safe. He was having fun getting to know her. She made him feel at ease; maybe it was because she always got more embarrassed than he did. In any case, he really did feel like he gained a little sister.
“U-Um, Asahi-san?” Hitoka muttered, almost hoping Asahi didn’t hear her.
“Yes, Yacchan?” This is it, she’s going to tell me she’s uncomfortable with me calling her Yacchan, Asahi thought, his worries from earlier in the day coming back to him.
“I… have something to confess… if that’s alright.” Hitoka stopped walking, looking straight down.
“Of course, go ahead,” Asahi urged her, certain that she was going to say she hated walking home with him. He tried not to let his anxiety show.
“Well, it’s a couple things actually… The first thing… is… I know you live on that street back there!” Hitoka blurted out, a bit louder than she intended. Asahi was silent. He slowly set his bag down, then sat on the curb beside it. He mumbled something, but Hitoka couldn’t make it out.
“I-I’m sorry… what did you say?” Hitoka asked hesitantly. She pulled on a strand of her hair nervously.
“I… I was so careful…” Asahi repeated. Hitoka didn’t think he would say more, when he suddenly looked up at her, on the verge of tears.
“Where did I go wrong?! Did you see me walk back down your street that one day? There was construction on the street I usually take back to mine so I had no choice! I waited twenty whole minutes before walking back… I’m so sorry I lied to you!” Asahi wailed. He put his head in his hands, scared to see Hitoka’s face. He was sure she was angry at him.
Hitoka giggled. Asahi thought he misheard, so he kept his head down.
“Hey, silly. I’m not mad you lied to me! I think it was very sweet of you to do,” Hitoka said, gently laying a hand on Asahi’s shoulder. This was the first time she purposefully touched him. Asahi looked back up at her, child-like hope blatant on his face.
“Are you really not mad? Because I am so so sorry…”
“I’m not mad. I’m happy you did it,” Hitoka assured him, taking a seat next to him. “U-um actually, I’m happy about a lot of things lately…”
“I’m glad you’re happy!” Asahi interjected. Hitoka smiled at him and he smiled back.
“It’s um... actually… I’ve been happy lately because… of you?” Hitoka ended the sentence like a question, giving Asahi a questioning look.
“Oh… What did I do?” Asahi asked sheepishly. Hitoka’s nerves got the best of her and suddenly she was on a tangent.
“Well, you’re always very nice and kind and genuine and I love the way you treat people, like it’s the way everyone should treat people because the world would be a much better place if that’s how everyone was treated because you are always so nice, but I already said that so I guess it’s also because you’re very gentle and you do have a glass heart which I count as a good thing because your heart is amazing and I saw you take in that stray kitten once because I used to walk home behind you and I noticed you and everything that you do and it’s amazing! You’re amazing! And when I see you and hear your voice, my heart just goes… bang! And it beats so hard I think it’s gonna beat right out of my chest but it doesn’t because that’s not how hearts work and I’m in love with you.” Hitoka was gasping for breath by the time she finished. Asahi couldn’t hide his shock. Hitoka burst into tears.
“I’m so sorry I just laid that all out there like that,” Hitoka cried, “It’s just been so hard lately to keep it all in… and you’re just so wonderful…” Little hiccups bubbled out of Hitoka’s throat between her sobs.
Asahi rubbed Hitoka’s back, hoping to calm her down. It only made her cry harder. Asahi, panicking, pulled her into a hug. The surprise of it almost stopped Hitoka’s tears completely… Almost. He was warm. Hitoka had never felt this warm before. She reveled in it, letting her body relax against his.
“Listen to me,” Asahi said. Hitoka could feel his chest rumble as he spoke. “I really do enjoy your company, Yacchan. Walking home with you and talking to you is always the highlight of my day! You’re a sweet, sweet girl…” Hitoka had a bad feeling. “And one day, you’ll find a guy who’s much better than I am and he’ll be perfect for you.” Hitoka pulled away from Asahi.
“But... You’re perfect for me! Didn’t you hear what I said? I—“
“Yacchan, please. Hear me out. I’m graduating in a couple months. I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet, but it might be something that takes me far away. I am happy that we have a friendship, but I’d like it to stay just that… a friendship. Plus, I’m so much older than you.”
“Two years is nothing!” Hitoka protested, her voice wavering. “There are couples out there with twenty-year age gaps! I’m not that young.”
“That’s true, two years isn’t a lot of time. But right now, it is. I’m in my third year and you’re only in your first. Do you really want to spend your precious high school days with a guy like me, who’s about to move on to who knows where?” Asahi asked.
“I want to spend my high school days with the guy I love!” Fresh tears welled in Hitoka’s eyes. “I want to spend all my time with you…”
“I’m sorry, Yacchan… I can’t return your feelings.” Asahi really was sorry. He never imagined he would be capable of hurting Hitoka like this. She stood up, almost falling over immediately after. She was a bit light-headed due to the crying. Asahi shot up and grabbed her arm to stabilize her. She used her other arm to grab hold of his shirt and pressed her face against his chest.
“This isn’t fair,” she wept. Asahi stroked her hair, whispering his apologies over and over again.
“It’s not fair…”
Hitoka let Asahi walk her home, just in case she almost fell again. Asahi apologized again and again. Hitoka remained silent, save for her hiccups that wouldn’t go away. That night, she spent an extra thirty minutes in the bath.