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"So, by the way, I'm gay." Changkyun's new roommate, Kihyun, tells him the day they both move in.
"Ok."
"That's not... a problem with you?"
"No..." Changkyun shrugs. "I mean, I'm not gay but.... I don't have a problem that you are, or anything... it's not a big deal, yeah?"
Kihyun smiles. "Just normal stuff, like, I won't hook up with guys when you're here and you won't hook up with girls when I'm here, yeah?"
Changkyun nods, "Yeah, cool."
Kihyun reaches out his hand, Changkyun awkwardly shakes it.
---
Kihyun's a cool guy, Changkyun thinks. He'll join Changkyun for video games, and help him with his math homework. When Changkyung goes out for coffee, he brings back a cup for Kihyun, when Kihyun goes out for coffee, he does the same.
But one evening, when Changkyun comes back from his dreaded calculus class, he sees Kihyun with his jacket on, looking at himself in the mirror.
"You going somewhere?"
"Yeah." Kihyun grins wide. "I've got a date."
"Really?" Changkyun asks, setting his bag down. "With who?"
"No one you know," Kihyun says, "This guy from my psych calss. He saw the rainbow sticker on my binder and we started talking. He's cute."
Changkyun just stands by the dorrway still, watching Kihyun explain giddily. He see's Changkyun's blank expression and his mood shifts.
"Do you, like, not want me to talk about this sort of gay stuff or..?"
"No no no, that's not it, I"m just tired, after class and all, sorry..." Changkyun smiles to reassure him, and Kihyun smiles back.
Then Kihyun checks his watch. "I should go now," he says, already walking towards the door.
"Enjoy your date!"
"I will, thanks!"
---
Changkyun hears about the date the next morning. How this guy from psych class, Hyunwoo. How he was so nice and so cute and how they went to see a movie together and they shared popcorn and how Kihyun's so excited to see him again. Changkyun listens to his roommate and can't shift the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach.
"Do you ever, like, worry you're accidentally homophobic?" Changkyun asks his friend in french class, who just looks at him wierd.
"What are you talking about?" Hyungwon asks.
"I mean, like, do you ever like, hear about gay people going on dates and stuff and it makes you feel weird?"
"That does sound homophobic."
"I'm not meaning to be, though. I don't want to be."
"I dunno. Guess you just have to figure it out yourself."
So Changkyun thinks about it. A lot.
---
Changkyun spends the afternoon with a study group, so he doesn't get back to the dorm until 9:30. He expects Kihyun to either be on his laptop or passed out by now. What he doesn't expect is the boy who he only sees in Kihyun's Instagram posts.
And they're kissing.
It's an innocent kiss, but Changkyun still feels like he's walked in on something he shouldn't see. But he clears his throat, and the couple breaks apart.
"Changkyun, hey!" Kihyun exclaims, awkward. "I didn't know when you'd be back... I..."
"Hi." Hyunwoo waves, albeit awkwardly. "Nice to meet you. Kihyun talks about you a lot."
"Can you leave, please?" Changkyun's almost surprised to hear the words come out of his mouth, and Kihyun seems just as surprised.
"Changkyun, you're not serious! Does he really have to leave?"
"It's okay, I can leave," Hyunwoo says, already reaching for his bag.
"No, it's not. Changkyun, why are you doing this? Why does he have to leave?" Kihyun's stood up now, he's walked a few steps closer, and Changkyun can't meet his eyes.
"I just.... don't want him here, okay?"
"It's fine, really," Hyunwoo says. He's already gathered his things, and there's little Kihyun can say to stop it. "I'll see you in class tomorrow, ok?"
"Yeah, see you."
Kihyun waits until the door shuts behind Hyunwoo to speak again.
"You're a fucking asshole, Lim Changkyun." Changkyun just looks at the ground.
"You know how much I like him, right? You've listened to me talk about him for the past month, obviously you know. So what the fuck was that?" Kihyun is pacing, Changkyun can see, but doesn't dare look up further.
"I just... don't like you kissing guys."
"Well, I'm gay okay? We established this the first day, remember? And you were okay with it, or so I thought. You know what, then you can't kiss girls in this room too, okay?"
"I don't want to kiss girls." Changkyun just mumbles it under his breath.
"What?"
Changkyun looks up now, and Kihyun doesn't look as angry anymore. Just concerned.
"I... don't want to kiss girls."
"Oh." Kihyun walks back a few steps, sits on the arm of the sofa. "Okay."
"I don't like you kissing other guys...." Changkyun can hear his voice shaking. His eyes are back to the ground. "Because I want to be kissing you."
There's a silence. Changkyun can't bring himself to look up, see the damage he might've caused. He might've ruined everything.
"If you want to kiss me....." There's another pause, and Kihyun sighs, mutters something under his breath. "then do it then."
Changkyun looks up now. He takes 3 steps, Kihyun stands up to meet him. Now that they're face to face, Changkyun doesn't know what to do. He just looks from Kihyun's eyes, to his lips, to his eyes again. Kihyun takes the initiative and wraps a hand around the back of his neck, pulls him closer. Presses their lips together.
"Was that your first time kissing a guy?"
"...Yeah."
"Do you want to do it again?"
"Yeah."