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Sometimes, Hunter couldn’t help but feel guilty. Thoughts crept in his mind like ghosts about all the things he did as the Golden Guard, especially all the things he wish he refused. Sure, even though he would've gotten punished for it, at least it would be him getting hurt and not innocent people. He could take it like he always did.
His friends told him that he was a victim of Belos, that it wasn't his fault, but he still blamed himself for not being strong enough to stand up to him.
He felt like he didn’t belong here in Luz’s house. He didn’t deserve it, quite frankly. He helped Belos rebuild the portal, he did his bidding for years and had blood on his hands as a result. The memories haunted him. It left him feeling like he couldn’t live with himself.
Hunter also felt like he was taking up too much space sometimes too. He was scared of taking too much, of being too greedy. He was not good enough.
He wanted to offer himself up as a sacrifice, for people to take his frustrations out on him. He felt like he could do nothing right, that nothing was ever good enough.
But his friends didn’t seem to mind…? It didn’t make sense to him at first how kind they were. But they always comforted him and made him feel better.
At first it felt wrong the way they comforted him. He tried to push them away, but they kept insisting that just meant he needed their comfort more. They wouldn't back down.
They told him that he didn't have to clean up every little mess, even when it made him feel better about taking up space. They told him he didn't have to do all the chores, and that he definitely was worthy enough to eat dinner with the rest of them. It wasn't worth arguing, so he decided just to go with it.
It felt... nice to be included, to be cared for. It made him feel better too.
Flapjack was the one who helped him understand his friends behaviors. "Your help your friends when they're struggling too. It's only fair they want to help you too."
Hunter first interpreted this as "your friends feel indebted to you because you helped them before", but that's not what Flapjack meant at all. What he meant was that as friends, you care for each other. There's no "debt" or "score", you help each other when you need it because that's what friends do.
That made Hunter feel a little better about himself.
So one day, he decided to ask something from all his friends.
"Do you guys mind if I get a big group hug from you all?"
He didn't have to ask twice as they all piled on top of him, giving him a nice, big, warm group hug. It felt so good. He felt so safe.
As he friends hugged him, he told himself that he did indeed deserve nice things like this. After telling himself that, he couldn't help but smile. :)