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He was home for Christmas break. As much as he tried to continue to stay in his dorm, they managed to find him and send him back home. Like they always did. Why did they have to be so determined? He supposed they sort of expected it now. He'd hide out in the electrical closet next time.
Couldn't stand his family. How could he? He's always bitched about this but he's only stopped recently. Everyone would respond the same "But they are spending money on you going to a good school...yes?" As if money and love equaled the same thing.
He knew he wasn't the ideal son but who cared? Not like it was an ideal family. As a brother however, he was nothing short of his father. How could you blame him? Not like he had a good role model. Not his fault. Not his fault. Not his fault.
The only thing that made this Christmas Eve bearable was the fact their father was gone for a "work trip". How convient.
Now, sitting next to his little sister on the couch, the living room illuminated by the golden festive lights draped on the tree, he couldn't stop thinking. Hardly next to each other, he knew he envied her. The attention she got from everyone. Remarked on how pretty she was. Wanted to take time out of their days to spend time with her!
Only six and being praised. He was 17 now! Why hasn't his father even acknowledged him? What made her so special? He scoffed. Nevermind. He could see her juuussttt in his peripherals. Watching some animated green dipshit ruin Christmas for everyone. Swaying her feet as they weren't even able to touch the ground yet. How irritated he felt for feeling jealous of a six year old.
___
"I don't think you should do that."
"Oh why not?" He cooed sarcastically. His face not even leaving the cabinet he had opened.
"Just uhm, a guess." Bendys hand reaching and stroking her arm. He scoffed and closed the cabinet doors. Still didn't even look her way.
"You're too smart for your age." Turned his face to her with a tight smile before walking out of the kitchen. Bendy didn't even try to follow him.
"You're only allowed to drink if you're 21 or over!!" Her voice dully yelled into the hallway. He was already in their fathers room. She could hear the opening and bedside drawers.
"Mmmm no." He wasn't yelling back. His voice hardly audible to Bendy. "That doesn't seem right." Bendy huffed before looking at the ground. It wouldn't be of any use to follow him. Watch him as he got frustrated... it would be funny to watch though. She softly crept to their father's bedroom.
"I don't think it's in that drawer."
"Wh—would you get out of here?!" He lifted his head to look at her. Crouched over by the dresser on the right side of the bed. She kept her mouth shut.
She rocked back and forth on her feet. Hands clasped behind her back. Nibbling on the inside of her cheeks. Sound of taking apart drawers and mumbling being one of the only things audible. Danielle sighed before straightening his posture and placing his hands on top of his head. He turned his attention towards his sister. Mouth slightly open with the color of hopelessness shading his features.
"I'm not happy." The statement took Bendy aback. It was blunt and it was real. She didn't know he was capable of that.
"Thought so." What else could she do but look down? Kick at the beige carpetted ground. She had known he hasn't okay for quite some time. After some time she just thought that was him being happy. He looked at her. On his knees he was the same height as her.
"...Don't tell anyone." He tilted his head up to look at the ceiling. The corners of his eyes starting to redden. Bendy simply nodded her head. Not like he could see that.
"I uhm... can I tell you something? That you also can't tell anyone?" She shifted in her place.
"No... no... not right now." He looked down as his hands fell to his biceps. "Give me some time. Not right now." He choked on the last words before sniffling and putting the drawers back to the way they were. Picking up the shirts he scattered and folded them neatly only to put them back.
"Is there a time that'll be good?" She played with her fingers. Unable to look at him anymore.
"Can't even look at me as you ask me for something I've already said no to? Get out of here give me some time." He looked over at her. She couldn't bear to look at him. She nodded her head, still looking at the ground before shuffling out of the doorway and back to the living room.
___
It was never completely dark outside. Lights lit up from neighbors windows and glowing snowmen and fake snow scattered nailed down across lawns. One day she was going to have a family to enjoy Christmas with. One day she was going to be a mom. Is 27 a good age for that?
Sitting down on her bed coloring with a baby blue crayon. Building a house and family one line at a time. The bright lights slipping into her room even though she was on the second floor. How was she supposed to sleep when the power of the sun was radiating into her eyes? Figured she might as well try. Couldn't be awake when Santa got here...
She didn't want to put all her crayons away. She just wanted to go to sleep already. Just wanted to lay down in the very least. She glided her drawing onto her bedside table. All textures from the crayons on the paper visible from the light.
At first she laid on her side. Rolled onto her back and eventually her stomach. 'I'm too smart.' She repeated to herself. 'I'm too smart.' The thought passed around in her head. 'That doesn't... seem right.'