Work Text:
"Hiya! I'm Daichi Sawamura, and I want to be your friend!"
It was a little over nine years ago when I spoke those words to a small, shrimpy kid playing on the swingset on a Thursday afternoon during recess. He'd just transferred into our school that morning, and they threw him into my class where he had to recite his name awkwardly in front of the class. Silver hair was slicked back and parted awfully down the middle atop his round head; keeping his eyes glued to the ground, the new kid paced down the aisle of desks to take the empty seat in the far right corner where he pulled at the tie latched tightly around his white shirt collar. He didn't stand out among the rest of the children, but he didn't exactly fit in. While we were all excited that it was almost storytime, he seemed lonesome and sad--not to mention extremely aggravated with his attire. Yes this kid, this kid named Koushi Sugawara, was indeed a special case, and my ten year-old self was unable to know just how special he'd become.
As the school day carried out, Koushi seemed to avoid anyone who'd try and talk to him including the teachers and principal; at lunch, he stayed at a table by himself and didn't even open his lunch box. My young mind didn't think that something could be wrong with him or that he was upset, not in the slightest; instead, I was convinced that he didn't have to eat because he was a superhero that came to our school in disguise to save us all from danger, and of course I wanted to be best friends with a superhero! I tried desperately to go over to talk with him during lunch, but the bell rang and our teacher was herding us back into the classroom to put up our lunch boxes and folders before we were to go to the library--I prefered the gym or art room.
The librarian took roll to make sure nobody had managed to sneak out of line on our short trip through the halls and then proceeded to show us a video about keeping our books safe that we had to watch once every month; typically the elderly woman would give us time to check out books, but apparently not today. If you aren't going to get a book, then why even go to the library anyway?
Then, my savior came--the recess bell--in all its glory; my first thought was not of Koushi, but of the awesome new tire swing that was put in at the beginning of the year. You had to be one of the fastest and strongest kids to even have a chance at getting on, and I was determined to get a seat on it today.
Unfortunately, fate had other plans for me. The tire swing was full and surrounded by a chanting, complaining, and angry crowd of sixth graders who were much taller than I; there wasn't even a slight chance that I would get on the tire swing that day, but as I was walking toward the slide, something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye.
I turned around to see Koushi alone on the swing set, but he wasn't swinging--in fact, he wasn't doing much of anything other than sitting there and looking at his hands as if he'd just shot lasers from them
What a strange kid. I wonder what kind of powers he has...
Curiosity took over my mind as I made my way over to him with my hands behind my back, shuffling my feet in the mulch. He only glanced up at me once as I came closer to him, and then he turned his back to me while pulling his legs up in the swing as well.
I was unwavering in my pursuit to becoming his superhero sidekick, and soon I reached out and tapped his shoulder, "Hiya! I'm Daichi Sawamura, and I want to be your friend!"
He didn't acknowledge me right away, but he sure did when I punched him in the shoulder, knocking him off the swing.
"Ow! What was that for?" He glared at me as he sat up in the mulch beneath the swing.
"You're really weak for a superhero..." I commented completely ignoring the sudden act of violence that I had just made.
Koushi stood up and wiped himself off before glaring at me, "What do you mean superhero?"
I grinned and sat on the swing next to the one he had previously sat on, "Well, I saw you not eat during lunch, and superheroes with superpowers don't have to eat, so I already know that you're here to protect the school from some super villain."
For the first time, I witnessed a smile form upon his pale face as he hopped up once again into his swing, "I'm not a superhero. I just wasn't hungry!" He let out a small chuckle which soon turned into an innocent giggle.
My face turned red from embarrassment and I pulled my hands into my lap before grumbling.
His laughter died down, but the smile remained on his face as he extended his hand, "Would you still be my friend even though I don't have superpowers?"
I looked up at his smiling face and then down to his small, pale hand before grinning myself and grabbing his hand, "Yeah! Of course!"
"Earth to Daichi. Come in Daichi."
An all too familiar voice broke deep into my thoughts and dragged me back to reality; shaking my head, I turned to my best friend who was giving me his own version of the death stare.
"Dazed off much?" He grinned while pulling the straw of his strawberry milkshake that was piled high with whipped cream into his mouth with a quirked eyebrow.
"Heh, yeah I guess; That's what happens when you get old, you get lost in time," I gave a slight chuckle and dragged my milkshake across the polished tabletop only to nearly knock it over when I was thumped in the head by my seating neighbor.
"You're only a few months older than me, Daichi; If you're calling yourself old, then you are calling me old," he wagged his finger at me with a slight grin, "This beauty is never getting old." Then, he pushed his hair back, stuck out his tongue, and snapped before directing his attention elsewhere and slipping on his fedora that had been resting in his lap.
The gesture would seem dumb or disregardable to most people, but it was something I appreciated about Suga. Somewhere along the line, he'd developed that little tick as a way of lightening the mood, and it never failed to work.
"So," I began halfheartedly as my mind wandered elsewhere, "what do you feel about everyone we've befriended so far?" Sliding back into the large seat, I allowed myself to watch him as he pondered the question.
Suga flashed his milky brown eyes at me before propping his head on his hand and beginning, "Well, I think having them around brings a new fire to those of us who have been around since the Bible days; Especially when it comes to Hinata, he's our comic relief so to say, yet he's so persistent and so willing to try new things. He's a little fireball, and if anyone can keep our group together, it's that sunny child. Tsukishima is the cynical one, but you need to have that kind of person around to have your reality in check; I just wish he'd open up a little more, but Kuroo will nag him enough one day that he'll either bend or break. Yamaguchi is small, and I feel that he's had a hard time fitting in for several years; I know that he'll eventually catch on that we actually want him around, but it'll take some time. However, Kageyama is something else different from anyone else I've ever met--" He suddenly stopped as if he almost said something he shouldn't have before glancing back at me, shaking his head, and continuing on, "He's always seemed like the self-appointed loner to me, so when he actually showed up when we invited him, I was shocked. I get the feeling he wants to be here, but at the same time, I feel like he hates us all. He's a little bit of a mystery for me."
I nodded and sat up while reaching for my shake.
"What do you think about them, Daichi?" Suga asked as he grabbed the cherry and tossed it in his mouth.
"Oh, I agree with yo--"
"You can't do that! I just had to evaluate every one of the sophomores and you're just going to bullshit me by agreeing?" Suga cut me off by shoving me as an offended expression took hold of his visage.
I rejected his assumation with a wave of my hand before announcing, "No, no. It's not that I don't have an opinion about them; I just have something else on my mind."
Suga quirked a brow while tugging on the collar of his teal button-up, dissatisfied with how snug it was latched around his neck, "You've had something else on your mind all night. Spit it."
My face grew warm only for a moment before I slurped down half of my shake in an attempt to cool off, but only gave myself a brain freeze; however, Suga was not humored in the slightest by my silence nor had he ever been. Making the wise decision, I began, "Well you see, I was just thi--"
Suddenly the song on the jukebox changed to one tha
t Suga and I knew all too well, and he turned to me sticking out his finger with an accusatory glare, "Don't you even dare!" But his stern approach couldn't withstand his appreciation of the coincidence, and soon he began to laugh.
The song was Elvis Presley's "Burning Love"; a song tied to a beautiful memory of embarrassment and failure that Suga and I both shared, and never could forget.
Rolling my eyes, I let out a slight chuckle, "We're in public; I wasn't going to!"
He gasped and stared at me wide-eyed, "You lie! We were surrounded by classmates! You scared every girl that we went to school with off and got us kicked out of the Middle School dance!" By now, Suga was practically rolling as was I.
"It was one time! I was still going through puberty, and I wanted to sing! I'm sorry that my voice cracked on every line, but what could I do?" I shrugged and rubbed the back of my neck in embarrassment.
He tossed his head back, causing his hat to fall back into the seat, "Those were good times; the good days, huh?"
Propping my arms up on the back of the seat, I followed his lead and mimicked his position, "Sure were. Feels like it was yesterday," A grin emerged at the mere memory, but I quickly forced it away.
Suga pinched the bridge of his nose before wiping a hand down his face, "If only it were." He paused, "But why would you bring that up here? That was the night we..."
It was my turn to look confused as I glanced over at him, "We what?" Honestly, I knew exactly what he was referencing, but I wondered how he'd acknowledge the small happening.
His face was tinged pink as he spoke and clapped his hands on his cheeks, "You know...t-the accident."
"Oh yeah, right."
At that point, Suga turned away from me, and I began to wonder if I had upset him. The silence, however, drew me back into my theatre of memories, all the way back to 1981.
"Good job, loser! You got us kicked out of the school dance; now we'll be bullied forever and die alone," Suga pouted as we walked down the street.
Two seventh-graders walking down the road at eleven at night was quite a sight, especially since we were all dolled up in our best suits; I'd called my mom from the office, but she refused to come and get us since it was only a ten minute walk. Suga's mother was working the night shift as a nurse in the neighboring city's hospital, so I had invited him to spend the night which was a good idea until he got mad at me.
Pulling off my jacket and laying it over my arm, I apologized, "I'm sorry. I didn't know karaoke wasn't allowed at school dances."
"Well not when it causes a girl to fall in her heels that she couldn't walk in in the first place--let me just say that they didn't even match her dress--and break her leg. It was technically her fault for being such a hot mess anyway, and whatever perfume she had on should be a crime to mass produce. My grandmother has better fashion sense," Suga ranted as he flailed his arms, "but in the end, you were the cause of it all."
"Whatever," I huffed, "Elvis is better than your opinion anyway."
As expected, I received a not-so-harsh blow in the arm, but pretended like it hurt anyway.
Sighing, Suga stretched out his arms, and I finally noted that my house had come into view, the singular porch light shining out into the humid night atmosphere. We arrived only minutes later to find my mother passed out on the couch, and a tv dinner lying cold and half-eaten on the coffee table. Taking Suga by the wrist, I lead him down the chilled, dark hallway and past the bathroom to where my room was. We undressed from all of our confining dress clothes, and I allowed him to borrow my favorite Superman shirt and a pair of athletic shorts.
"Daichi, are you tired?" Suga asked as he fell back on my bed, throwing his arms over his eyes.
I hurriedly went and turned off my lights, leaving only my lava lamp to illuminate the room, before turning on the small fan across the room and leaning over Suga, "I'm getting there, but I can stay awake. You wanna watch a movie or something?"
It was a complete honest accident, and neither one of us was necessarily accountable. Suga didn't know that I was looming over him, and I had no idea that he could sit up so fast.
"I love movies! Can we watch Grease?" Suga sat up with such energy that neither of us had time to react, and then it happened.
The accident that would drive us mad for several years before becoming a simple inside joke to the both of us, yet neither of us would ever forget it.
My eyes were wide.
His eyes were wide.
We were both too struck with so many different emotions that we couldn't move. Fear gripped us; embarrassment beat us over the head; astonishment blinded our eyes.
His lips were on mine.
My lips were on his.
Finally, by whatever power, I found the strength to jolt backwards and turn around, "I-I suddenly got really tired."
"S-so did I."
Without any further preamble, we crawled into my bed and promptly fell asleep in an attempt to forget the mishap that had just occurred moments ago; however, we found out the following morning that forgetting was no simple task.
For the next year, we lived in fear that someone would find out and blackmail us, or they'd find out and we'd be reported to the police--a silly idea that somehow sparked in our young minds. Even more worrisome than that was the idea of never finding someone to date, but rest assured, Suga and I had our fair share of women throughout our remaining middle school days--or at least two to us was a big number back then.
I was pulled from my thoughts once more as the bell rang and Asahi arrived; Suga welcomed him with countless playful jabs, followed by a handshake and a warm smile. I, on the other hand, remained quiet while relishing in my own memories.
I shouldn't feel this way about you, now should I? I silently questioned as I watched Suga from the corner of my eye; He was talking about some class that he and Asahi apparently shared, so I didn't have to pay any specific attention. I couldn't have anyway even if I were involved because all my attention was on the beautiful man beside me.
It's sinful of me, I know, but I like to imagine that I can say these things that I think, and you'll accept them and feel the same way, my friend. But my head is not a reality.
I was unsure of the exact date when I confessed to myself that I found my best friend attractive, and I was even more unsure when I fell for him, but every day since then, my thoughts have not been without him. He'd seen me cry, laugh, scream, smile, and everything else I could possibly do. When I went through hardship, he was right there with me always wearing a smile. He stuck with me through the horror that was middle school, and somewhere I found myself breaking every code ever written in the book of life as I fell for my best friend.
More people began to fill in the table, and that was my queue to focus on the conversation being made, to get my mind off how good Suga looked in those white pants.
Everyone ended up showing up, and a few extras made themselves known. Kuroo's loud and energetic friend Bokuto seemed to be a likable, friendly socialite; he reminded me of Nishinoya in an unexplainable way--except Bokuto was much taller than our shorty.
Not to mention the scene our cheer squad, Tanaka and Nishinoya, caused simply flirting with the waitresses. Our waitress was the new girl--I think her name was Yachi--and she'd seemed a nervous wreck since Suga and I had arrived right after school, but nobody expected her to faint. Luckily Kiyoko was there to catch her before she could hit the ground because God knows that Tanaka and Noya weren't capable of such common sense. Then came the proposal to Miss Kiyoko from the both of them, only to be rejected, and satisfied once more; honestly, they were by far the strangest people I think I had ever encountered.
But the real shocker of my night came when Tanaka turned on me.
"Even Daichi thinks she's cute, and he doesn't date anyone! Isn't she cute Daichi?" Tanaka lolled as lovestruck as Cupid himself.
"She is fairly attractive and her personality is easy to get along with. Not to mention she is really smart," I attempted to avoid the question and let everyone else interpret my answer as they saw fit, but I had forgotten. Tanaka was never one for interpreting words.
His fist banged on the table before he attempted to loom over me from his seat, but then the bright idea struck him to grab the light and try to scorch out my eyes, "So do you think she's cute or not!"
Trying to block out the cursed, blinding light, I reached out in front of my eyes to cover them and squinted, "N-now, she isn't ugly b-bu--"
Asahi gave a hearty laugh before cutting me off--a rare thing for the meek man, "Anyone who knows Daichi well, knows that he has other interests."
I blushed at the thought and shot Asahi a glare in an attempt to kill a man with my eyes; however, I did not have laser vision. On the other hand, Suga looked completely satisfied which was not the reaction I had been expecting when something of this nature became conversation. Tanaka continued to imply further sinful actions causing one of two reactions: "ew"s or "yep"s.
The only other disturbance of the night was caused by a stranger called Oikawa. He was apparently out to get Kageyama, and after Kuroo got a little heated, I had to step in and calm to waters--or at least try. The real moderator was the man that pretty boy brought along with him, and was not afraid to use physical force.
Kageyama darted out of the building at that point, and Hinata soon followed. Several of us stayed for twenty minutes or so, but by nine o'clock we were all heading out of the diner and to the hangout field for the bonfire.
I let out a sigh as I grabbed the door handle of Suga's black Thunderbird, but to no avail it was still locked despite him already being around to the driver's side with the keys.
"Hey, Daichi. What's on your mind?" Suga piped up from the opposite side of the car.
I looked up to see his head resting on his crossed arms atop the roof of the car, an expectant look in his eyes.
"You're not getting in this car until you tell me," He sing-songed.
I tried to laugh it off and propped my elbow on the roof, meeting his gaze, "Absolutely nothing."
His brown, glistening eyes rolled, "I've known you since elementary school. Trust me, blockhead, I know when you're upset or bothered. Now spill it or we'll miss the bonfire."
"It's honestly not a big deal, okay?" I shrugged.
Suga shrugged back and glanced at his watch before staring me down, silently.
I could tell him, couldn't I? I could just come clean. He'd know, and my conscience would be cleared, right? I pondered for a moment. But things couldn't be the same after tha--
"You've got your thinking face on. What's with the thinking face?" Suga questioned as he examined his fingernails.
Hell just do it. The night is young.
"Suga, I've got a confession," I finally sighed after several moments.
He smirked, "Okay? For what do you need forgiveness of?"
Drawing in a long breath, I began slowly, "I've known you since we were really little. Since the time when you were shy and weren't comfortable around people, I've simply wanted to be your friend. I wanted a friend who would be there for me through the thick and the thin, and you've been even better than anyone else I could have asked for, and I am eternally grateful. We've been through hell together, and that only strengthened our friendship--heck, you still called me your friend after my awful rendition of 'Burning Love'."
Suga wiped a stray strand of hair back into place before nodding, "And? Are you just being sentimental? Or are you going somewhere?"
"Suga, I can't simply be your friend anymore. I can't simply be your best friend anymore because I think about you every minute of the hours in the day, and I know that it might have just been a screw up in middle school, but I kissed you. I can't stop thinking of our memories, our nights, our parties, our lives, and I just can't help but wonder if there is more out there? I can't imagine what life would be like without you, and I guess...I guess now is where you tell me that I'm over my head and that two guys like us can't make it in this world," I attempted to laugh it all off, but I'm pretty sure my laugh resembled more of a whimper as it escaped my lips. I was expecting and immediate response of rejection, but when I looked up, Suga was simply chuckling.
"Why can't two guys make it in this world?" Suga laughed, "What's gonna stop them?"
I paused, "W-well, I don't know."
There was a brief moment of silence as Suga shifted his weight from one leg to the other and traced his finger along the top of his car, "Daichi, you're pretty dense, you know?"
"So I've been told," I agreed solemnly. Here I was single-handedly screwing up my relationship with my best friend by confessing some fantasy that I had somehow mistaken for love.
"Alright, well, if that's all, let's head to the bonfire, o--"
"Wait. No, I wasn't finished," I interrupted him which brought a pleasant look to his face, "I. Koushi, please, if you believe that we can make it in this world, if you will give me even the slightest chance, would you like to go out with me? To be my boyfriend?"
I'd come clean.
I'd come clean all too quickly.
I'd come clean all too easily.
Suga pulled his arms off the top of the car and placed them in his pockets as he threw his head back and bounced on his toes. Then, came his answer.
"Absolutely not."
He raised his eyebrows at me before quickly sliding into his car to unlock my door.
I'd never really experienced the feeling of utter rejection; granted, I'd been dumped, but never flat-out rejected. Something inside me was unnerved, shaken, uneasy, and I began to feel sick to my stomach as soon as I opened the car door. Nothing felt the same. I'd ruined my friendship, and now that he knew everything, Suga's perspective on me would change completely.
However, as I slid into the comfort of his vehicle, I did not expect to feel the comforting sensation as thin fingers found their way into my short black hair; they traced slowly down my hairline to my sideburn to my jawline before guiding my head to meet soft, tender, warm brown eyes that were only part of the beauty that was Koushi Sugawara. His thumb swiped tenderly over my bottom lip as he smiled at me warmly. As much as I hate to admit it, my face had to be the darkest shade of red humanly possible. Then, he took my left hand in his before placing it on the side of his face.
"Daichi," he whispered as his cheeks turned the slightest shade of pink, "you really are dense."
I gave a soft laugh in an attempt to not break the warm intimacy of the moment, "You've said that already."
"I wouldn't like to be your boyfriend at all," my silver-haired friend whispered as he pressed our foreheads together and ran his soft hand down my face. "I've waited since our ninth grade year for you to take a hint that I was into you, but you had no clue, so I got tired of waiting. So no, I really would not like a relationship with you."
I felt my heart begin to sink, but then he gave a genuine smile, "I'd absolutely love to call you mine."
Before I could even react to his sudden confession, I felt his warm lips press ever so lightly upon mine in a quick, chaste kiss. Then he leaned back into his seat, buckled up, and started the car before sighing contentedly, "I've waited five years just to kiss you again, you dolt."
I blushed and placed my hand over his on the gear shift as I studied the breath-taking person beside me in utter awe, "As have I.”