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You awoke in a familiar hospital room at Akso Hospital. The beep of the cardiac monitor was the only sound in the quiet room. The hush ended when the door opened, revealing the cherished face of the person you loved.
When he noticed you were awake, he approached to examine your indications, which were plainly shown on a series of monitoring equipment nearby. One of your arms was wired, while the other was wrapped in immaculate white gauze. The pain seemed to bring back memories from yesterday.
You had, foolishly, confronted the Wanderer alone before your backup crew arrived. You believed you did the right thing in that scenario; even though your arm was severed, you carried out your duty with some sloppy first aid. The fact that you awoke at Akso Hospital demonstrated the consequences of your risky behavior though.
You would have no idea how Zayne reacted when he saw you brought into the hospital like this. The doctor in front of you seemed as calm as usual, as if he had not spent the entire night fretting about you. He sighed with contentment after he was pleased with your present health status. Then he spoke:
“Are you ready for an early lunch? The abalone porridge at the hospital is a must-try today.”
You were taken aback by Zayne’s behavior. “Doctor Zayne…” Your lips called his name, but you left the sentence unfinished.
“I'm here. Are you hurt?”
It was still the same caring expression and exceptionally kind gestures, but they hurt your heart more than the wound on your arm. He never compelled you to do anything, and when you found it difficult to express yourself, he patiently waited for you to open up.
For example, when you were so careless that you were hurt, he did not criticize you and calmly waited for you to explain why you did so. But how could you tell him that you did it just to prove your strength? The result was far from what you had expected though.
Perhaps this life was so greedy of its blessings on you. There was nothing special about you; not your appearance nor talents. Your Hunter Association achievements were simply standard. Yet you always wanted to do more, wanted to be better, to be worthy of the position next to Doctor Zayne, whom you admired so much.
Zayne was a remarkable brilliant individual from an early age. Success came to him so soon. He led a life that many others could only dream of. He radiated an aura that drew others to him. You were no exception. However, he attracted many talented individuals surrounding him. From all of them was an aura that you could never have.
You had always seen yourself as a side character, someone who remained on the sidelines while everyone else got lost in their own lives. You simply lived like that without attempting to stand out. Being noticed by Zayne, being loved by him, it was like a dream come true. And you wanted this to be more than just a fantasy, so you persuaded yourself you needed to do better in order to be worthy of him.
It had been almost a year and you just could not shake the feeling off. Even this mission was an epic failure. You were afraid for him to see you in such a miserable state.
As if understanding you were not ready, Zayne softly grasped your hand. “Rest,” he said. “Anything else can wait until you’re better. We’ll figure it out together.”
You closed your eyes. Together, that did sound pretty nice.
*
* *
Zayne released you from the hospital after your condition had stabilized. He took you home, and it was not until he saw you seated comfortably on the sofa and listing the food you were desiring that he felt relieved.
“Your arm is still not completely healed.” Zayne gently stroked your head. “You still have to abstain from a lot of things.”
As soon as he finished speaking, his phone rang. Zayne quickly glanced at the name on the screen and said, “Give me a moment."
Zayne picked up the phone. While answering the phone, he walked into the kitchen and poured you a drink of water. Observing behind him, you reasoned that the call must be from another outstanding person in his life. Sharing Zayne with someone else made you nervous, especially because they were so much more brillant than you. You felt envious, and realizing how insignificant you were made you feel even more insecure.
You never wanted to be just a shadow following Dr. Zayne.
You curled up in the sofa, pretending not to eavedrop on his call. How many times had this happened before? How many times had you told yourself to suppress this negative emotion? Yet you failed to hold it in any longer. You might erupt at any time and do something as reckless as the previous mission that led to your injury.
While you were still lost in thoughts, Zayne finished his call. He placed a glass of water in your hand, and you feigned a grin.
“Does Doctor Zayne have to go now?”
“Not really,” he replied. "There is a celebration at the hospital to commemorate a successful project. Greyson called to ask where I was.”
"I see…" You attempted to make your voice as casual as possible, but Zayne seemed to recognize how upset you were. Because you're still injured, you might be unable to join him at that celebration.
"You should get ready then," you said without glancing at him.“Don't worry. I’ll order dinner later.”
Contrary to your expectations, Zayne replied, "But I told Greyson I had an important patient to take care of."
Your eyes widened at his words. That patient must be... you?
Zayne lowered himself to your eye level. “Of course I couldn’t leave this patient alone. Who knew she would do something reckless again if I left her hungry?”
Your laughing rang loud. Zayne rubbed your hands together in his, kissing the tips of the rather cold fingers.
"Besides," he said, "she hasn't told me what's been upsetting her lately. I can't handle it properly if she keeps keeping stuff from me."
How could Zayne not notice even the smallest change in the person he loved? These previous several days had been quite difficult for him. The girl who often smiled and stood by his side appeared to have a lot on her mind of late. Despite his lack of dating experience and comprehension of a lover's temperament, Zayne appeared to know what you were thinking. Simply put, your strange behavior did not escape his keen eyes. What he was waiting for was for you to open up and share with him.
At last, you gave in and told Zayne everything you had been thinking, including the negative feelings.
"I'm sorry…"
It wasn't easy to express everything you had been holding back for over a year, but it left you lighter than ever, as if you'd just dealt with a Wanderer ready to break out. Zayne remained at your side, listening to all. When you calmed down, he rose up and approached the bookshelf.
You were astonished. Zayne returned to you a minute later, bearing the kalimba that you had given him the year before.
“Doctor Zayne, why are you taking out your kalimba?”
Could it be that he was interested in playing a song after your confession? He sat down next to you on the sofa, his fingers hitting each note, creating a crisp sound that resonated.
“I was just wondering how I could prove to you that I’m not as perfect as you think,” Zayne replied. He gently lifted the instrument.
You appeared to understand what he meant and then chuckled. Zayne's only weakness was possibly his knack to play the kalimba. You recalled how he had played the instrument like a child when he received it. However, given his accomplishments, the fact that he couldn't get a few notes perfect seemed insignificant. Knowing that this wasn't enough to persuade you, Zayne began playing the opening notes of the song you adored. His words gradually resonated with the sound of the kalimba.
“Do you remember when you gave me this kalimba? I couldn’t play any song back then. But thanks to you practicing with me, now I can play the song you like most.”
You felt quiet, just listened to Zayne's music. After that you commented:
“You played nine notes wrong.”
The corner of Zayne’s lips curved slightly, even those who were unfamiliar with his frigid countenance could tell he was smiling.
“If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t know how to play this song. You claim to be a side character, but you don't realize how much of an impact you've had on the lives of others. Everything you do, no matter how little, has an effect on the world around you. Playing the kalimba is only one of the countless ways you've impacted my life."
For a moment, you were out of speech. You merely glanced at Zayne with a fragile voice. He put down the instrument and clutched your hand.
"You don't try to stand out, but oddly enough, my attention is always drawn to you. Maybe I don't know how to put it, but I wish you could see how wonderful you are in my eyes."
The image of Zayne in front of you became blurry. Your nose felt stinging. You tried not to cry, but eventually you broke down like a baby in his arms. Zayne placed kisses your hair as if he were consoling you, offering love and safety. Even though you might not be the main character, even though you were not one of those outstanding people, now you had more confidence to continue living your life the way you wanted it.
Because you knew that there was someone to always recognize your efforts. There was someone to always be tolerant and patient with you. He would always welcome you to stand by his side.
The position next to Zayne had always been yours.