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It was hard to hide on tour. The small rooms, their tour van, where they sat in each other's sight, and their shared hotel rooms with Fedya - there was no personal space at all. Valya and Danya tried not to show too much attention to each other, only doing what was considered "normal" in a brotherly relationship, such as hugs, plenty of physical contact, and occasional, almost chaste kisses on the cheek and the top of the head as a show of support. No one was surprised or suspicious of this behavior. But they needed more, much more.
They were hiding. They were locked in even narrower spaces, catching those seconds when Fedya left them alone in the room, sleeping in each other's arms in bed. Both of them comforted themselves with the thought that soon they would return to a place where they wouldn't need to hide. And they truly believed that they were good at hiding.
And then...
It happened in the dressing room. Danya sat down on a small table and Valya settled comfortably between his thighs, kissing him as if his life depended on it. They hadn't done this for several days and both felt that they had finally got their hands on it. Valya's hand was on Danya's waist, Danya's in Valya's curls... The world around them ceased to exist. It was just the two of them, the rest of the band had left to do some last-minute preparations for the concert, and Fedya was fiddling with the drums on the stage, so they figured they had some time to themselves. They both wanted to take things a little further, but they couldn't risk it. Valya allowed himself to briefly break away from the other man's lips to kiss Danya on the neck, and he continued to touch and caress him, trying to sate his hunger, barely restraining himself from crossing the line. The reminder to be cautious lingered in the back of his mind, but Danya was too engrossed to bring it to the forefront. It seemed that nothing else existed, only Valya, who kissed him with delight, his hands still reaching under his concert shirt.
"Fuck, you're amazing," Valya murmured. "I miss your touch and your body."
"Just a few more cities, and we'll be done," Danya melted under his hands. "Come here, come on."
They might have continued kissing, oblivious to their surroundings, if someone hadn't sneezed loudly in the dressing room.
Valya flew away from Danya as if he had been doused with boiling water. He turned around in horror and saw Fedya sitting on the couch, flipping through his phone as if nothing supernatural had just happened before his eyes.
"Fuck, Fedya!" Valya had a million excuses in his head: from “it’s not what you think” to completely crazy, like “I was calming my brother’s panic attack in this way, it’s normal for us.” His cheeks were rapidly turning red, and Danya looked like he was about to faint.
"Sorry to interrupt," he looked up at them and smiled. “You can continue if you want, I’ll try to pretend I’m not here,” he said, and continued scrolling through his social media feed on his phone. Valya was left in a state of confusion.
"Uh... And you're not... You're not going to ask us anything at all?"
"So what's the point of asking? I'm aware of what's going on between you," he said, still unperturbed.
"How the fuck long ago?" Valya didn't understand - should he panic or relax? How to react to this?
"Yes, it's been two years. Have you ever noticed that I always knock and give you a heads up before I come back, so that these situations don't happen?" Fedya put down his phone and looked seriously at the brothers. "I think today you just didn't hear so i saw you. Relax, especially Danya. If I had been against it, I would have left long ago. It's okay, I won't tell anyone."
And then all the moments flashed through Valya's mind. The messages, the knocking on the hotel room doors, the way Fedya sometimes warned them very loudly that he was about to enter... Sometimes Danya and Valya would actually jump at the sound and go to different corners, as if nothing had happened between them a second ago. So he knew all this time, but didn't show it?
What a good friend they had.
"Thank you," Danya, who had recovered from the shock just a couple of seconds ago, said. "Let's just... not talk about it, okay?"
"No problem," Fedya said, returning to his phone.