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Slamming his glass down, Amuro doubled over- his stomach and throat burning from downing another drink. Coughing, he wheezed out a few laughs. Bright clapped him on the shoulder playfully, smiling.
"Impressive! How many's that now, four?" Bright said while clapping slowly- the gesture was good natured.
"I got out a lot in '88," Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, Amuro tried to focus his vision. It was a little obfuscation of the truth. Really, as 'White Unicorn', he had gotten out more- but the bulk of his drinking experience came trying to drown himself at Cheyenne. He didn't want to bring the mood down, though. This was the lightest he'd felt in a while.
"Really? I can't imagine that." Okay, that was a little snide. Amuro huffed, suddenly finding Bright's smile incredibly smug.
"You don't know everything about me." He muttered, a little too fast. He inwardly chastised himself for still caring how the other man saw him.
Needing more alcohol, he heralded the bartender and gestured to his empty pint glass- lolling his head back to stare at the ceiling as he was poured another beer.
"I didn't say I did," Bright leaned forwards, nursing his own drink, Amuro caught his face in the corner of his eye, he looked content. "It's nice to talk to you again."
Amuro hummed, they'd been working together again for a couple weeks now but there hadn't been a spare moment for them to catch up- busy as they were with Londo Bell's official formation and the bureaucracy that entailed. The last time they spoke casually must've been at Fraw and Hayato's wedding. Amuro shoved that memory down by taking a deep swig of his fresh pint.
"Ah, shouldn't you slow down a little, I've barely started." He was probably right but the suggestion got under Amuro's skin regardless. He threw him a look that was more of a pout than a glare, now determined to drink more just because Bright had told him not to.
"Maybe you should drink faster then. We're celebrating!" That was true. They we're heading out into space soon. Amuro smiled a little in excitement- he missed the lower gravity, the vast expanse. Movement felt more natural to him out there than it did on a colony- at least they weren't on Earth.
So, after everything was official, Amuro invited Bright out for drinks. There was a bar right across from the port their ship was docked in. It wasn't overly busy and the bartender was discounting their drinks on account of their uniforms (Amuro thought that was embarrassing but he wasn't going to pass up cheaper drinks).
Amuro was a little disappointed that, after all these years, Bright was still so straight-laced. He'd be surprised if that man had ever had a day of fun in his entire life.
"Hm. I think you're right." Getting braver, Bright followed his example and downed his own drink. Which was rum. And would definitely hit harder than a lager. Amuro laughed in delighted shock, grabbing onto Bright's arm and shaking it (half to make sure he was real and hadn't been replaced with some kind of fake).
"I didn't know you had that in you!" He was near giddy, Bright's face scrunching in pain doubled his glee. "Here, I'll get you another one."
"I don't think-" Amuro turned to him, mid raising his arm, the wind blown out of his sails. Bright stared at him for a beat, considering. His face softened fondly as he acquiesced. "Go on then."
A grin stretched slowly over Amuro's face, almost predatory. The feeling of triumph wasn't dissimilar to when he severed an enemy MS's weapon in half. A resounding, secure: 'Now I've got you.'
"Do you-" Amuro was cut off by his own laughter, folding his torso over the bar, empty glasses clanking together as he collided with them. "Do you remember when Kai-" He couldn't finish, breaking out into another fit of giggles.
Bright chuckled too, lighter. He leaned down a little to meet his eye.
"You'll need to be more specific." Bright had done a pretty admirable job of catching up with Amuro- he was swaying a little in his seat and his cheeks were a little flushed. His own empty glasses stacked on the bar in two pillars of three.
Amuro waved his hand dismissively as he attempted to compose himself. The gesture was clumsy and he nigh fell out of his seat with the force of it.
"The- the pictures thing." That earned a groan from Bright, he ran a hand down his face.
"Don't remind me," Contempt washed over his features- clearly recalling the time Kai had used their limited paper supplies to plaster an embarrassing picture of Bright (a school photo, Amuro recalled) all over White Base. "Someone had to peel them all off, you know."
"You didn't get- I don't know- Job to do it?" Amuro couldn't imagine the Captain of that ship completing a task so menial, but he supposed they had been short staffed. They all spent a lot of time doing chores between sorties.
"I didn't need more people looking at it." Bright said almost gravely. Amuro cackled again, bouncing back in his chair so hard it tilted back a little, creaking.
"I didn't know you cared that much. I guess we were all young, huh," Amuro caught his breath, relishing in the pleasant memory. He turned to Bright. "Thank god I never did anything like that, right?"
"You?" Bright snorted wryly. "You were such a pain in the ass."
"What?! Aw, come on." Laughing a little awkwardly, he punched Bright lightly in the shoulder. In all honesty, he didn't remember broad strokes of that year. Likely he had been, if the comparisons to Kamille in his early piloting days were anything to go off.
"You took the Gundam out into the middle of the desert!" That he remembered. He'd been covered in sand for weeks afterwards.
"And you locked me in the brig for it! Ryu said-" Amuro hadn't meant to mention him.
The mood in the room shifted cold. His mood flat lined and his shoulders slumped. Bright froze next to him and Amuro could feel his eyes on his face even when he looked away. He fiddled with the glass in his hands, the condensation chilling his skin. "He said you thought of me like an animal."
"I- Amuro-" Bright was attempting to make excuses for himself. Amuro faced him again abruptly, locking eyes. Bright flinched back, minutely- but he still retreated.
"You were scared of me." A familiar sensation prickled at the edge of his consciousness- like ants crawling under his skin. It was shimmering and frantic. He'd felt it many times before. Hovering over a Zaku with his rifle pointed at the cockpit, after a soldier watched him cleave his comrade's MS apart with nothing but his shield, when the captain of a ship watched him weave between their missile barrage- weapons drawn and closing in faster than they could react.
It was the fear of another. Particularly, the fear of him. His blood ran cold.
"God. You're still scared of me. I can't believe this."
Amuro scooted his chair back, standing on wobbly legs, he gathered his things.
"Amuro, that's not- What are you doing?" Bright started behind him, also standing. He swayed like the colony had been jostled.
"I'm leaving. I'll see you tomorrow."
Refusing to look at Bright again, he moved for the door. He needed to get out. Out of this bar. Out of this damn colony.
Bright was behind him as he walked across the street to the dock- he was trying to ignore him, focusing instead on the cold night air playing on the flushed skin on his face, sobering him slightly.
The street was empty this late at night, so it didn't take him long to move across to the dock. it had been scheduled to rain earlier that evening and the thin layer of water on the ground reflected the lights from the houses and streetlights above. Amuro might've found it beautiful if he was in a better mood, but the reminded of the enclosed space made him clench his fists.
Inside, he closed the lift behind him as fast as he could and allowed himself to sigh in relief that he could be alone (even as Bright, surely, was in the one next to him). Not bothering to hold on to any of the handrails, he floated up as the gravity lowered- a weight taken off his chest. His gaze was locked on the glimpses of stars he could see through the window and the colony wall. Too many layers of separation.
He pushed off the glass wall as the doors open, angled so he'd travel directly to where the normal suits were- a little above the main room.
Just as he dragged the bulky thing out of one of the lockers, Bright caught up to him. Out of breath and overshooting his jump, he caught himself on the top of the hallway and pushed down to the floor.
"What are you doing?" Amuro could tell he was confused and, only a little, panicked. He resisted the urge to scoff as he started pulling the suit on.
"I'm going out." He needed to breathe.
"Out?" Bright opened his mouth, the thought 'but you were just outside' was so loud Amuro briefly thought he'd spoken the words. After another glance at the normal suit, however, he pieced together Amuro's intentions. "You can't do that, you're drunk."
He reached to pull the suit away from him but Amuro swatted at his hand, using a little more force than was necessary.
"Oh, so you're coddling me now," Amuro really wished Bright was pick a way to treat him and stick with it. "I know what I'm doing."
As he motioned to turn and continue getting ready, Bright grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. Untethered as he was, Amuro continued to turn past the point of facing him and had to right himself to glare him in the eye.
"I am your superior officer and I am telling you not to. It's not a request." Bright was giving him a look Amuro didn't think he could muster anymore. He snorted out a laugh.
"You're pulling rank on me? You can't be serious." His smile, sardonic as it was, dropped when Bright grabbed two handfuls of the suit's fabric and yanked it away. Stuffing it back in the locker. The wave of despair he'd been trying to stave off hit him again, he ground his teeth.
When he was done packing the suit away, Bright stayed facing the locker. He put a hand on it and stared at that so he didn't have to look at Amuro.
"What is it then? Do I scare you or can you boss me around." He was being incredibly petty but god damn he'd earned a little pettiness. He knew he was both something to be feared and controlled, he'd have to be blind not to at this point.
He thought Bright at least would view him differently. It was crushing to be proven wrong. He just wanted to blow up about it now, blame the outburst on the alcohol, and then swallow it- like he swallowed everything else- and get on with piloting, finding Char.
There was so much more to be worried about than interpersonal relationships. Amuro had stood by and watched as all his other ones had imploded. What was one more? Bright would be able to work with him despite it, surely. He had before.
"I'm not-" Bright was going to say 'I'm not frightened of you' but he cut himself off and Amuro wished he could've not known. He turned to face him, hand still gripping the edge of the locker like a lifeline. "You're a very capable soldier and-"
The world flashed red. Amuro kicked off from the ground and slammed his hands into the locker- one either side of Bright's head, boxing him in.
He was floating a little above the other man, peering down at him in a way that made him feel more powerful than he was. It didn't do enough to quell the rage that half-sentence had lit in him, though.
"That's how you see me?" He thudded his right fist into the metal hard enough to dent it. Bright shrunk away from the impact. "Is that all I am to you, too?"
Initially compounding Amuro's fears, Bright looked genuinely terrified under him. Yet, he steeled himself- forcing neutrality on his face as he wrapped his arms round the back of Amuro's shoulders and dragged him down, drawing their bodies together.
Amuro dropped his hands and let them float limply next to him as his head pressed against the shoulder of Bright's jacket, the fabric scratching his cheek.
"I trust you. With the crews lives. With my life. There's no one I'd rather be here with." Bright rested his head in Amuro's hair, his heart was thumping rapidly but Amuro could tell the fear he was facing was different now. He melted into the touch as Bright pulled him even closer- twisting the fabric of his military coat in his hands like he'd float away forever if he let go. "And I'm-"
He couldn't force the 'And I'm sorry.' out of his mouth, but Amuro heard it anyway. He could tell the apology was for more than just the ruined night out.
Amuro had been trying (really, really trying) to hold in his tears. He didn't want to cry- not in front of Bright of all people- but he couldn't stave them off anymore. It had been a very long time since anyone had touched him with the intent to comfort. And it was warm. And he did, despite himself, deeply want for Bright to like him.
So he cried long, shaking sobs into his shoulder. Bright grew uncomfortable at the show of tears, but held him, stalwart, till he stopped.