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Shen Qingqiu has just developed a genius plan. Absolutely foolproof and no he is not taking criticism. The three main death flags that did the original goods in included: abuse of protagonist, Liu Qingge’s death, and interest in a wife.
While the first one has technically come to pass already, he’s done his best to make up for it! Binghe is now very clearly his favored disciple (although officially when asked he doesn’t have favorites). He gets to sleep under the same room as him and gets the best the peak has to offer a disciple.
Liu Qingge, first and foremost, isn’t dead! In fact, Shen Qingqiu is now credited with saving his life and has drastically improved their relationship.
The last thing for him to handle is interest in a wife character. While he would never see Ning Yingying in that way, rumors can still fly and he does still favor her as the only female disciple. He certainly can’t act cruel to her in order to prevent any talk of his affection for her. Not only would his heart not be able to take it but it would raise an entirely new death flag!
Alternatively however, “Binghe, this master has been considering marriage recently.”
A loud bang and thud came from the kitchen, followed by the frantic movement of Luo Binghe rushing to face his Shizun. His face was flushed red and eyes had a crazed tint to them. “Is that so,” he panted, “what suddenly brought this to Shizun’s mind.”
“This master has received a proposal after our recent mission which got me thinking on the topic.” He hadn’t. But Binghe didn’t need to know that. “Truthfully, I’ve always been fond of the idea of marriage. Unfortunately the only ones who have ever shown interest were all women while I quite prefer men.” That’s it! His finishing blow. Shen Qingqiu can’t be interested in one of Binghe’s future wives because he isn’t into women! It’ll certainly be a damage to his pride and leave him unable to find a wife (certainly not one as good as the protagonist’s, but he’d hoped for a humble life) but he would much rather be labeled a cutsleeve than lose his limbs.
Luo Binghe’s face lit up and he slid next to Shen Qingqiu and tightly held onto his arm. “Then, is there any particular man Shizun has had in mind lately.” Luo Binghe pressed his body firmly against Shen Qingqiu’s side. “Certainly any man on the peak would honored to wed you. This disciple can’t possibly imagine a more perfect groom than Shizun.”
He did consider a possibility of taking this ruse far enough and actually marrying a man. It would have to be someone pretty though! And ideally strong and loyal enough to fight the protagonist himself if he should still decide to cut his limbs off. There is really only one man he can think of who fits those criteria. “This master has. Binghe is quite familiar with them.”
Binghe’s smile grew impossibly wide and he all but crawled into Shen Qingqius lap. “Oh, and surely Shizun won’t keep his beloved disciple in suspense.”
A thick smell of burning filled the air. Luo Binghe painfully tore himself off of Shen Qingqiu and ran for the kitchen. “Forgive me Shizun! This disciple accidentally left a pot on and forgot dinner.”
He chuckled and simply told him it was fine. Thankfully he seems to be taking to the idea of Shen Qingqiu marrying well. He was worried that Binghe would react like a spoiled child who didn’t want a new stepparent. Especially given how he just clung to him like a child to their mother.
Binghe soon returned from the kitchen carrying a wooden tray with two bowls.
“As this master was saying, I’ve been considering asking Liu-shidi-“
CRAck
The board in Luo Binghe’s hand was clean in half. Wooden splinters, broken porcelain, and congee covered the ground around him. Shen Qingqiu would have been worried about his hands feet had his attention not been drawn to the absolute agony and rage in his disciples eyes. A loud wail came from him.
“NO! Shizun can’t marry him!” He dropped the rest of the board and ran to his still sitting master. With tears streaming down his cheeks faster than Shen Qingqiu had ever seen from him he clung to him and sobbed into his chest. “Please. This disciple can be good. I promise. I’ll do anything for Shizun. Please. I’m begging you. Don’t leave me.”
His words all came out and choked sobs while he seemed barely able to breathe. He stroked his hair and rocked him back and forth while shushing him. “Shhh, it’s okay Binghe. Your master is right here. I’m not going anywhere. I was just pondering the idea, nothing serious. Especially not if it gets you in such a fussed up mood.” He couldn’t help but bemuse that now he really is like a mother calming a tantrum.
After a few more moments of gentle shushing and reassurance Luo Binghe began to recompose himself a little. His face was still blotchy and red from all the crying. He leaned back and looked Shen Qingqiu straight on. “Shizun. Promise me. Never marry that man. Or anyone else.”
He supposes he thought to soon that Binghe seemed to take well to a step parent. “Alright. I promise I won’t marry him. And there isn’t anyone else I’ve been thinking about. There’s no need for Binghe to worry anymore.” He smiled and rubbed Binghe’s cheeks to try and get the serious look off his face.
Binghe continued to look him dead in the eyes. “Shizun, if you ever break that promise. I’m going to kill myself.”
Well, at least he didn’t go with plan A of just announcing the engagement. He can’t imagine that would have gone better than this.