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It was not in his nature to do something like this if he’s honest.
Granted he was never interested in anyone enough to do something like this if he’s being completely honest. Most people he’s met in his life were either sacrifices for his rituals or they were a means to an end. There’s hardly anyone he knew of who worshipped Jashin as he did, was praised by Jashin as he was, nor blessed with this divine ability to give the god of destruction the sacrifices he so craved.
However, something changed when he met his partner in the Akatsuki.
The only person in this world who did not succumb to death, who was immortal as well with a deadly jutsu that was almost equal to his own…and gods did he want to get his feelings across to him.
Not many know this but Jashinism has quite the interesting courtship rituals. They ranged from simple little gifts to literally ripping out a piece of oneself–organs, teeth, eyes, ears, fingers–to present to their intended. While he preferred to save the more extreme acts of wooing for a later time, one of the ones he enjoyed actually involved flowers.
“Hmm…let me see…” Hidan walked quietly through the forest, squinting his eyes as he held a map. It was a very good map, one that he’s used plenty of times to find ingredients for rituals or to just forage for Kakuzu when his partner was tired, “I know they’re around here somewhere…now where the hell could they be?”
Hidan continued forwards, scratching the back of his head as he slowly began keeping a close eye out for his prize. He wanted this to be perfect; because if he can’t offer a proper courtship bouquet of the most sacred flowers then what kind of future would he be able to have with Kakuzu?
Jashin would certainly punish him if he failed such a simple attempt.
“Focus! You need to hurry up and find them before Kakuzu wakes up and finds this map gone…ugh why can’t I find these damned plants?” He bites his lip and ground his teeth a bit. Oh it just wasn’t fair! He was a good, devout follower, a pious devotee of his beloved god!
If he can kill people, he can find flowers for a damned bouquet!
A yelp escaped him when he tripped on a root and ended up crashing through some bushes. He grunted as his face met the forest floor, groaning out his frustration into the cold dirt before slamming his fist down on the ground as he snarled in frustration.
“Stupid map, stupid fucking forest, stupid fucking trees and their stupid ass roots, I should just cut all this the fuck down—”
He jumped when he looked up and blinked when he came face to face with one of those said flowers; a pretty white one that resembled an almost ethereal humanoid shape. He tilted his head back and forth, studying it before a grin tugged at his face.
“One down…three more to go,” He grinned as he slowly wiggled his fingers.
Ghost orchids in the Jashinist faith were considered sacred flowers representing the eternity that awaited all spirits meaning even if death took the couple they would forever be intertwined in the afterlife.
...
He had half a mind to leave his partner to fend for himself.
Being an immortal, surely he could survive long enough to make his own way back to base. It wasn’t as if he was the other’s handler after all…however he also knew that leaving him meant that the leader would be rather cross with him for abandoning the only partner capable of surviving his violent temper.
The fire crackled softly and Kakuzu pulled on his fingers lightly to pop the knuckles, attempting to avert his thoughts to more productive things rather than concern himself with the ways of that religious zealot.
…I hope he isn’t lost out there, He bowed his head as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
He and the Jashinist have been partners for almost over a year now, and as much as he hated to admit it he did care about the idiot younger man. He may not believe in his religion and based on their time together that religion isn’t very profitable, but he also knew the man was a talented killer when it came to their bounties.
It was useful to have a talented killer especially with how many high value bounties there were and even if he himself was technically immortal that was only because he’s managed to keep all five of his hearts from being destroyed.
“...I swear, if this idiot doesn’t get back, my five hearts may just give out from sheer boredom—”
“Kakuzuuuuu!”
He looked back when he heard that familiar voice calling out to him as he saw the familiar silhouette of his partner. Hidan stumbled forwards out of the bush and into the light of the fire, his hand hidden behind his back.
Kakuzu sighed behind his mask and gave the other a pointed look as he watched him sit down beside him. He could see there was dirt on the other’s face, with small twigs and some leaves in the normally combed back pale hair. It was strange seeing the other in such a messy state yet at the same time he found himself smirking behind the mask as his tendrils shift and wriggle gently under his skin. Trying to resist the urge to use them to remove the fauna that got stuck in Hidan’s hair.
“You look like you had a run in with some kind of cryptid.”
“Aaaw, were you worried about me?” Hidan gave him such a big grin that made his eyes crinkle as he tilted his head at him like some kind of stray dog.
“Only about the verbal lashing I would get if you didn’t hurry back before dawn…now what the hell were you doing in the forests?”
Hidan perked right up at the question; his body was trembling with what can only be described as excitement. For a moment the Taki-nukenin narrowed his eyes as he wondered if the other was having some kind of episode. He only ever saw Hidan this excited when it came to those long rituals.
He was about to ask if he was all right, only to have something shoved into his face. He grunted and blinked as his nose was filled with the floral scent of flowers as he shakily reached up to hold it in his hands. After a moment he took it from Hidan and blinked his eyes before looking down at what the hell Hidan had given him.
“I went looking for these flowers to give you,” Hidan was smiling brightly as if he had brought him a bouquet of money and not..these.
Ghost orchids, spider lilies, cala lilies and black dahlias were arranged carefully into a lovely bouquet. He stared at these flowers in his hands while his eyes were wide, as if unsure what to make of these florals.
Then a dark look crossed his eyes as he processed what he was given; a bouquet of the most ominous flowers in the five nations; the ones that meant death and misfortune for those who find it, even if one was only used for funerals…
Slowly he looked at Hidan who still had that stupid grin on his face as if he didn’t know what he had just given him.
“Well? What do you—”
CRNK!
His hardened fist came down on the zealot’s head, making Hidan’s neck snap downwards as he flailed his arms with a wheezy breath.
Kakuzu watched him struggling a moment before sighing, “...why are you like this?”