Work Text:
"We are going to hell.
We are going to hell.
We are going to hell."
You had started to chant when you saw the gates of the building of doom. Vee had joined you halfway through.
"We are going to hell.
We are going to hell.
We are going to hell."
The gates came closer. Inevitably. You stopped in your tracks and turned around, striking a dramatic pose.
"We can still run, comrade. We can go eat ice cream and ride into the sunset unharmed. No one has to know about our disengagement."
Vee: "I would be down for ice cream."
"Don't encourage me! I put this off for too long. I have...to face...the devil!"
Vee: "Ice cream sounds good. Let's go get ice cream."
"What about the free bon bon from the dentist?"
Vee: "Dentist sounds good."
"What a backslider."
Vee: "..."
"..."
Vee: "...Are you going to ring the bell or did you change your mind?"
"No..."
You rang the bell, flinching backwards. You lowered your arms when you didn't writhe on the ground in excruciating pain. Nothing happened. No hole opened under your feet, no tentacles grabbed your ankles to drag you in, and the sky didn't turn black. Though it did buzz after a second and you were able to open the door.
Your hope that you could stall and play with the bricks meant for children to distract yourself was crushed as quickly as it glimmed up.
The doctor called you, telling you that you were late. Your turned around one last time, saying your final goodbyes to Vee.
That jerk gave you a thumbs up and waved, leaving you in fate's hands. All you were left to do was to embrace the pit of fire and agony.
Let it be over quickly.
Let it be over quickly.
Let it be over quickly.
Let it be over quickly.
Let it be over quickly.
Devil: "Have a good day."
And- you're out. Back to Vee. Somehow alive. You took your hard earned bon bon out of the candy bowl with pride. And you were no foreigner to the customs of hell and did what any good sinner would do - snatch a handful more while the receptionist was on the telephone.
Vee: "You did it!!"
"I survived! I hope your appointment is soon so we can leave."
Vee: "We can leave now."
"What about your appointment?"
Vee: "Done. We had them at the same time."
Together, you fled from the dome of darkness and stepped out into the light. With no shadow creatures around to listen in, you unmasked his lie.
"If you didn't have an appointment, why did you say that you did?"
Vee: "....I did?"
"Yes. Explain."
Vee: ".........You didn't want to go alone..."
"Aww! You did it for me. Thank you, you're the best!"
On the way back, you traded bon bons and you gifted him some for his consideration.
~some months and another call from hell later~
Vee: "We don't have enough bon bons for the movie night."
"Oh no. No. I'm not doing this."
Vee: "Please."
You fought with yourself. A diehard battle. With tanks, airplanes, submarines, landmines, and a singular horse named Jose. Both sides were displaying an unmatched stamina.
Vee: "...Pleeeeaaaaaseeee."
NOT THE PUPPY EYES.
The war machines exploded and the horse was the last man standing. One side had won.
"...Alriiiight, I will tell them that today works."
You stepped into a different room to make the call and woke Col up in the process.
"Sorry, didn't notice you were sleeping here."
Col looked over the back of the sofa at your outdoor clothes.
Col: "Where are you going?"
You shrugged and stepped outside, not wanting to talk about it. The call had drained enough positive energy.
Vee waited until he closed the door to throw a short reply into the house.
Vee: "We're visiting hell."
Col: "..."
Col was unfazed for a moment, still sleepy. Now that you left, it was silent and he could continue his sleep.
Col: "...You WHAT?"
The door was already closed and your fate sealed. You could only pray that your trip went down as smoothly as last time.