Chapter Text
The room was pitch-black, safe for the illumination provided by the phone screen.
Oh Sion was perched on his bed, his upper body leaning against the support.
It was 9.00pm and the dorm was fully deserted.
The maknaes had gone out to grab dinner, with Riku tagging along. Jaehee had gone to the company to cram in some vocal lessons and Yushi was probably cooped up in the dance room.
He himself had just returned half an hour ago, after finishing his vocal lessons. Not to mention, he has a debrief meeting to attend to in a few minutes.
He hoped he will be able have a talk with the producer regarding the demos he sent earlier. He had been overjoyed when the company took an interest in the creative direction and he wanted to use this chance to establish his position in songwriting.
But that wasn’t the main thing that was plaguing his mind at the moment.
The silence brought back memories: all the scoldings from the trainers and company staff, the hate comments that he had seen, especially from the fanmeeting scandal about a month ago.
He should have registered in his mind the cost of interrupting a fan talking to her idol.
After all, it cost a lot of money to obtain the chance to talk to the members.
He knew all that...
Sigh...
Sion layed down on the bed, fixing his eyes at the ceiling, as he fell into deep thought.
How many months of training had he been given on leadership?
How many advices had he heard from his company seniors on the taboos?
Yet with all that drilled into him, he still keeps making mistakes.
He raked a hand through his hair in frustration.
Just what was he doing wrong?
In the beginning, when he had debuted, he had believed he would be one of the popular members in the group.
After all, he had already been revealed to the public prior to the other members, along with Yushi.
But reality had finally hit him after a year.
He has failed to excel in any category.
No matter how hard he practiced dancing, he couldn’t beat Yushi.
Jaehee was unbeatable in the vocal department.
He also wasn’t exceptionally skilled in rapping like Riku or Sakuya.
In terms of stage presence, the crowd loved Riku and the maknaes more, based on the fan screams at the performances.
The only position he owns is being the leader but it isn't a position he can use to compare himself to others.
Whether he is good at it or not, he is and will be the only one with that position. So, it will not be something that can prove his talents or credibility to the audience.
He desperately wants to prove himself in some way to both the company and the public, but things always never seem to work.
Everyday, these thoughts seem to eat away at his self-esteem... A part of his mind always wondering if he deserves his place in the group over the other trainees who were eliminated.
He squeezed his eyes and rubbed them till the weariness faded away.
Beep... Beep...
The alarm he had set up rang. It's time to go..
Hopefully, he will get some good news this time.