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Beat the upside down. Just beat the upside down, seal the portal to the other dimension, and make sure all the creatures that are currently over running Hawkins die too. Sure, they just need to “beat the upside down”. If El hears that phrase one more time she was going to break somebody’s neck.
They act like it’s a simple check list at the grocery store, not the hardest thing she’s ever had to do.
“You’re team two tonight.” Hopper says to her, she’s staring out the window, chin on her knee as he says it.
“Okay.”
“You and Jonathan will be covering section sixteen.” Hopper tries to get her attention by waving his hand.
“I said okay.” She’s annoyed. Everyone just expects it to be easy, everyone needs to her be a superhero. Right now though? She just wants to sleep.
“Are you feeling okay?” Hopper joins her on the couch, a year ago this was normal, she’d snuggle up next to him while they watched television together. Now it feels foreign and distant, like when she first moved in with him.
“Yeah.” She lies, looking at the buttercup flowers that had someone stayed alive outside.
“You can tell me if you’re not okay.” Hopper offers, El has a smile tug on her face.
“Yes. Because you were so good at that before.” Hopper smiles now, both look amused over the memories of the previous summer.
“I’m saying kid, if it’s getting to be too much you have to tell me.”
“I’m the only one who can fight him from anywhere. The others have to be exposed.”
“Well the others have no issues killing the creatures for you so you can rest.” Hopper tries to point out.
“They need me!” She stresses to both him and herself, convincing herself she can’t back down now.
“We can take a night off, we don’t want you completely drained.”
“I just need a nap.” She decides and Hopper nods, leaving to give her space as she enters her bedroom. The girl who lived in this bedroom is long since dead if you ask her. There are very few things that she resonates with anymore, but she wonders after Vecna is defeated if she will be that girl once more. She lays on her blanket, trying to feel the same as she did when she got here.
“Hey kiddo.” Hopper stands in her doorway, she isn’t used to how he looks like at all yet.
“Hey.” He walks in uninvited with another blanket in tow.
“I thought you might need a second one, it’s a little chilly today.” Hopper lays it over her, she should get under her purple one too.
“Thank you.” Hopper lingers for a second, like he’s debating what he should do before he decides to sit on the floor in front of her bed.
“I know your growing up, I get that kid. I also understand I was away for a while, but I’m here now. Im not going anywhere, so, please don’t block me out. You’re my number one priority.” He means it, she knows it.
“Can we read?” They hadn’t picked up a book together in the month they’ve been back together, she wants a sense of normality in the cabin. Not whatever it was currently.
“Of course.” Hopper always agrees to books, it was one of Eleven’s favorite things about the man. It still is. As the chapter bleeds in to chapter two and then in to chapter three her eyes flutter open and shut. She isn’t sure what chapter they’re on when she’s fallen asleep, but when she wakes up startled Hopper is till sitting in her floor.
“Are you okay?” He has concerned written across his face.
“Why are you still in here?” She didn’t mean for it to sound rude.
“You only fell asleep ten minutes ago. Figured I’d sit and just be here for a while.” She smiles softly, he used to wait to make sure she was truly In a deep enough sleep to leave.
“Can I ask you something?” She’s picking at her blanket, avoiding eye contact.
“Of course you can.”
“Who was the man yesterday?”
“You have to be more specific.” Hopper says in an apologetic voice.
“The black bag you zipped up.” Hopper stills, barley breathing as she asks. He swallows hard a couple times.
“He was a friend of mine in high school.” Hopper tries to explain.
“What happened?”
“We fell out of touch I guess. I went to the war and then had Sarah, then came back and you came along. Guess we just didn’t have a lot of time for each other.” Hopper knows deep down that’s not what El meant, she wants to know how he died.
“He still lived in Hawkins?”
“Yeah. He is a, sorry was a, lawyer actually. He was a very smart man.”
“Where was he?” Hopper sucks in a breath.
“Section three when the dogs came.”
“We were not in section three.” She sounds confused, granted she is confused.
“No, no. They dragged his body into section five. That’s why I’m the one who zipped the bag closed. I could preemptively identify him.” El feels sick as he speaks.
“What if we all die?” She whispers to him. He hands up slowly and sits on the bed with her, near the headboard like he did when she first would ask for books to be read. She adjusts so her head is on his chest.
“Well, I don’t think that will happen.”
“Please be honest.”
“I’m being honest. El either we live or we die, there’s no third option. I’d rather say we live.”
“Even if we live, was it worth it to everyone else?” She asks with her brow furrowed.
“Eleven, if even one person is saved because of you that’s amazing.”
“But what if so many more die?”
“Whomever you’re able to save is a great thing, why don’t you think you can beat him? You were sure last we talked about it.”
“I don’t know if it’s all worth it.”
“Well, Mike is alive, Will is, Jonathan, Dustin, Lucas, Max. The list can go on. You’ve saved so many people already. Hell, even when you killed that dog back in October a couple years ago!”
“If we die it’s for nothing.”
“If we live every single thing we’ve done to survive will be worth it.” Hopper sounds so sure of himself.
“It will be?” She’s so tired right now, she doesn’t think anything will be worth it.
“I know it will be.”
“What if Max doesn’t wake up? I made the tear in the town when I didn’t defeat him and I let her heart stop. That will not be worth it in the end.” She wants to cry again, but no tears fall. Hopper nods his head in an understanding fashion, debating the right words to say.
“Okay, let’s say Max doesn’t wake up. You have Lucas hope. You saved Lucas from feeling completely lost and helpless in the Creel house. Even if everything doesn’t go to plan, it will be worth it.” Hopper reassures her.
“I do not want to see another bag.” El says to him, feeling nauseous at the thought of yesterdays. She had killed people, yes, but the demodogs had ripped him to sheds.
“I’ll be more careful.” El nods, believing him. After some silence Hopper speaks again, “El have you ever heard the phrase: kill a few to save the many?”
“No.”
“It means sometimes people die for a wide variety of reasons, but these people unfortunately die to save the many. Billy during StatCourt was one of the ones to die, but because he did so many more lives were saved.”
“I do not want to decide who lives or dies.”
“You don’t have to. I’m not saying you should. I’m saying that’s how life plays out sometimes. It’s out of our power and control.”
“In the lab we had to control.”
“No, in the lab you were controlled. And that didn’t even work look what Henry did there. My point is you aren’t playing god eleven. Free will can lead us to death just like it did with Glenn. His free will was in play, he did not seek shelter like It was advised. You have no control over the monsters.”
“It’ll all be worth it.” El finally agrees finally, accepting the new idea that as they kill Vecna people may be hurt along the way, but it saves the entire world from being in his hands.
“That’s my girl,” he tries to ruffle her hair but fails causing both of them to laugh, “how about you take the night off.”
“No, I have to go.”
“We can send Jonathan and Nancy. We have communication open between all of us. How about we watch some movies and eat some Eggo candy supremes?” Her face lights up and nods. As the two end up in the kitchen after the radios, Hopper can’t help but realize how young Eleven is yet. He keeps his mouth shut as she climbs on the counter to reach different items. He was right, and he will be right. Everything that had happened and that will happen will be worth it.