Chapter Text
What was he doing here?
Standing outside her door like this.
‘Pathetic…’ Bakugo scolded himself.
He should be in his own room by now, especially after what just went down.
Just a half hour earlier, Bakugo fought against Deku. Unleashing all of his fury and rage onto him while his unbridled emotions ripped through him like a jagged knife. On one hand, he was furious. Furious because the little kid he used to bully, who was born without a quirk had managed to get his provisional hero license before he did.
On the other hand, he was wracked with guilt. Ever since he was rescued Bakugo blamed himself for All Might’s retirement. If he hadn’t been captured by the League of Villains then it wouldn’t have happened.
But even after getting all his feelings out in the open, even after letting loose, he still felt overwhelmed; his mind cornered into a black shadow, directionless.
Upon returning to the dorms, after a good scolding from Aizawa, Bakugo had coincidentally looked up either out of curiosity or subconsciously looking for someone, he saw one single light still on inside. He knew exactly whose room that belonged to.
Y/N.
A pang of yearning rushed through his chest, making a home in his heart, begging to be enacted on, fulfilled.
Why?
It wasn’t like him and Y/N were particularly close. They had talked here and there though the conversations were no longer than a few minutes. So why did he suddenly find himself standing outside her room, just itching to knock.
Subconsciously, Bakugo knew the reason. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he liked being around her. Whenever she was near seemed to put him at ease, anytime she’d talked soothed his prickly personality, and every time she smiled caused his heart to skip a beat.
There was no logic as to why she had such an affect on him, she just did.
Bakugo snapped himself out of his thoughts as he realized he was still frozen in front of the door.
He gritted his teeth. It was now or never.
Slowly, he raised his hand up and gave a few gentle knocks.
Y/N sat up against the wall with her legs propped up to support her hands that were cradling a book.
On any normal night, she would have been long asleep, but tonight of all nights she found herself wide awake. She rolled around in her bed for a while, before deciding there was no point in trying to force herself into going to sleep. She preoccupied herself by picking up a book off of her shelf, and started reading.
As Y/N was about to turn the page, she nearly jumped off the bed when a few knocks echoed throughout her silent room.
She took a glance at her clock, it was near midnight. Everyone should be asleep.
After tucking a bookmark in between the pages, and tossing in onto her desk, Y/N made her way to the door. Had it been anyone else, she might not have been surprised but to see Katsuki Bakugo standing at her door was a first.
“Bakugo? What are you doing up so late?” Y/N asked, making sure to keep her voice down so as to not disturb the other students or a teacher.
“I could ask you the same.” He grumbled.
“I couldn’t sleep.” Y/N explained, her eyes falling down habitually to discover the boy in front of her was covered in injuries. “Are you okay?”
Bakugo said nothing and simply stared into her eyes that were surrounded by the glow of the moon casting its light into the hallway he stood in.
Being under the calm, but intense stare of the usually aggressive teen was starting to make Y/N fidget in her spot. She wasn’t sure what to say or do so she let the silent atmosphere grow, and grow, and grow until it was too much for her to bear anymore.
“Um, did you uh...want to come in?”
He thought for a few seconds, letting the words sink in when he finally replied. “Yeah.”
Y/N stepped to the side, and let Bakugo inside of her room. Once he was inside, she gently closed the door, and turned her attention back to the boy whose back was now facing her.
Outside the dorm room, Y/N could hear a plethora of crickets chirping away as they did every night. With Bakugo refusing to say anything it was all she could hear, all she was focused on. The seemingly peaceful harmony of the insects.
Bakugo, however, was listening to his heartbeat thunder in his ears. It was so loud, he felt like he might go deaf. Despite his best efforts, there was no way he could ignore it and had no way to make it stop.
This was it. Either walk out that door, and make his way back to his room, leaving himself feeling miserable and alone or expose himself and his true feelings, with the company he so desired.
He chose the latter.
“All Might’s retirement…” Bakugo suddenly spoke, his tone low and strained.
Y/N whipped her gaze up to meet the back of the boy’s head, listening intently.
Bakugo gritted his teeth, and prepared himself.
“It was my fault.”
As if by magic, Y/N felt her chest tighten up at his words.
In her stunned state, she whispered. “What?”
“I’m the reason All Might had to retire.” He paused before adding, “I destroyed him.”
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. The aggressive, loud and overly prideful Katsuki Bakugo was openly expressing his innermost feelings, sharing with her the guilt, the sorrow clawing at his insides.
Y/N was at a loss for words, but was quickly snapped back to the moment when she caught notice of the boy’s trembling body that was attempting to hold back sobs.
It took no more than a second for Y/N to walk over and stand in front of Bakugo. The moment she took a glimpse of his face, her heart shattered. Tears shined in his red eyes, threatening to fall. “That wasn’t your fault.”
Bakugo moved his gaze to the floor, not being able to stand looking at her empathetic gaze.
“Y-yes, it is.” He managed to stutter out with the sobs becoming more and more difficult to hold back, chest heaving with quickening breaths.
“No it’s not. There was no way you could’ve helped what happened.” She gently cupped his left cheek to make him look at her. “That was beyond your control.”
Y/N felt her own eyes sting with the slightest bit of tears.
“If I had been stronger, if I wasn’t so damn weak then…” He whimpered through trembling lips as the tears rolled down his face. “Then none of it would have ever happened.”
“No, no…” Y/N moved closer, enclosing the boy in a tight yet reassuring embrace, holding the back of his head. “You’re wrong, you’re wrong.”
Bakugo was taken aback for a second by the act of affection, and even had the slight urge to push her away. On any other day, he would have acted on this impulse, but he didn’t this time. Instead he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her even closer to his body, reveling in the comfort she brought.
Y/N continued, her throat tightening with a blinding ache. “You are the strongest person I know. The strength you show has inspired me to be the best that I can be, to never just settle, to be more than what I ever thought I could be.”
She started to cry now too.
“You taught me to keep fighting no matter what, no matter how tough the situation gets I push forward with everything I’ve got even when I’m bruised...and broken.” She paused to let out a sob into Bakugo’s shoulder, tightening her embrace to be closer to him. He did the same.
“When I have doubts, you are the r-reason that I keep going, keep fighting because I truly believe you’ll become an amazing hero.”
The sobs that Bakugo had once been fighting back finally came ripping through his chest. Each sob that left his mouth made him feel pathetic, weak.
His whole life he chose to suppress his emotions, his true feelings, to never let anyone see him this way so they wouldn’t think him as weak. However in this moment, in this room, in her embrace he didn’t care. Right now the only thing he cared about was being as close to her as possible, holding her as she held him, letting himself let go of the angry facade and be with her.
When Y/N eventually relaxed a little, she pulled back and stared at the boy’s red face.
“You’re not weak. You never have been, and you never will be.” She sniffled, wiping away Bakugo’s tears with her thumb.
The sensation from her fingertips caused Bakugo to absentmindedly lean into her touch, he wanted to savor this moment.
For a couple more minutes, they simply stood there, in each other arms, until Bakugo took a deep breath and let out a sigh of what could only be described as relieved.
His eyelids felt heavy with exhaustion, the next thing on his mind was to get some sleep.
She knew what was on his mind as she watched him blink tiredly, eyes swollen and red. “We should get some sleep. I can tell you're pretty tired.”
“Can I stay?” Bakugo asked before he had a chance to think about it.
He mentally scolded himself for asking for more after she had already done so much for him, though a tiny part of him hoped she’d agree.
Y/N was surprised, the first of many with him it would seem, but quickly realized that she’d hate to see him leave. She wanted to make sure he was going to be okay.
“Of course.”
She gently grasped Bakugo’s patched up hand, and lightly dragged him over to her bed. She pulled her blanket back, got underneath it, and waited for Bakugo to join her. He was quick to follow, pressing his body against hers, and resting his face between her neck and chest with his arms enveloping her waist.
Y/N took this opportunity to wrap her arms around his shoulder while combing her fingers through his spiky hair. She looked down at the boy holding her.
“Good night, Bakugo.”
He didn’t open his eyes yet replied anyway. “Good night, Y/N.”
Y/N smiled, continuing to massage Bakugo’s scalp well after he fell asleep. It took a little while, eventually though Y/N too drifted off into the world of slumber, savoring the warming presence of Katsuki Bakugo holding her close.