Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The maze is sticky. August doesn't know if it's the honey or the amber that's got him, all he knows is that he can't move.

He's trying to get free, but he can't. His skin is starting to feel like it’s on fire. The moth on his back is scared and is trying to fly them both away but they're both stuck. August's heart feels like it's beating in his mouth. He's not going to get free, he's not free anymore.

There's a sickeningly familiar buzzing noise that's getting louder, it seems to make the air itself shake. It's making him shake somehow, him and his burning skin. He’s shaking so much that…

…that suddenly he's awake, gasping and pulling to get free of the maze. He nearly sends Skreev tumbling across the forest floor. But Skreev holds tight and stays practically on top of him instead, one hand gripping August’s shoulder, one leg somehow pinning August at the knees. He’s the one that was shaking August, shaking him awake? The moth buzzes furious and frightened. August's thoughts spin with his nightmare, trying to make sense of what he dreamed and what he's seeing now.

“Hello,” Skreev drawls out, smiling. “That was fun. Shall we do it again?”

August shakes his head vehemently. His hands rub his arms, the burning feeling hasn’t stopped, “That wasn’t fun, it wasn’t a game.”

“Oh, what was it then?”

“A nightmare,” Misty answers, from where she stands just behind August. 

August nods slowly, Misty would know. She’s heard him wake like this before. He tries to sit up. Skreev pulls back to accommodate him but he doesn’t go far, peering at August, his head cocked.

“I’m okay now,” August tells them both, trying to slow his heartbeat so that his words are more true. The moth is quieter now. “Thank you. We should…we should sleep while we can, and make sure we don’t wake the others.”

“Adelia’s awake,” Skreev says.

August glances over at where Adelia chose to sleep; just opposite him with Violet next to her and Skreev on her other side, before he decided to shake August awake. He can see the pale veil of her hair in the darkness and maybe the flutter of her eyes.

“Sorry for waking you,” he says quietly to her.

“Oh, you didn’t wake me, that was Skreev,” Adelia whispers back. “He leapt right up out of bed when he thought you were being attacked. He almost trod on my hair.”

Skreev nods and grins when August’s gaze turns to him. August’s fingers dig into his clothes, trying to stop the burning feeling beneath, the memories. He clears his throat.

“Well, thank you,” he offers again. “Sorry I didn’t warn you. I get nightmares a lot, and when I get them, I get loud. Sorry.”

“What do you dream about that makes you loud?” asks Adelia, curiously.

August tries to massage his skin through his shirt sleeves. The burning remains, “I dream about bad memories, and being made to return to them, to where I was when they happened.”

“You dream about the Hive,” Misty surmises. “I cannot protect you in your dreams. I’m sorry.”

“No, no,” August turns so that he can see her shape against the sky and trees. “No one can protect anyone in their dreams.”

“It is vexing. I will protect you at all other times though.”

“I know you will.”

He leans against her for a moment, taking in the cool solidity of her stone form. It helps August to focus on something else other than the burning.

“We should sleep while we can,” he murmurs, his hands still kneading his arms. “It’s important.”

“Mmm, so we’re ready and awake for more games in the morning,” Skreev grins towards Adelia.

Adelia’s laugh is expected and somewhat reassuring through the darkness. Skreev starts to move towards her, a swaying shape in the darkness. Then he moves suddenly back to August.

“Sleep well,” he states, the words ebbing into a grin.

Then he’s gone, bounding away towards Adelia. August doesn’t realise that he’s been holding his breath. The burning seems less important now. He frowns confused, he didn’t expect Skreev to be a successful distraction from it.

“Will you be able to sleep unharmed?” asks Misty.

“I need to try,” August replies. “I don’t often get more than one nightmare a night.”

“That is good. I will watch over you.”

“You’ll watch over us all.”

“I will.”

August nods and moves back to his sleeping area, to rearrange himself and the moth back into a comfortable sleeping position. He can feel his hat close by and he pulls his coat back over himself. He realises that Adelia and Skreev both saw all of his arms and hands and neither of them made a comment. He finds that it’s easier than usual to fall back asleep, and by the morning, the burning is duller under his skin.

He’s still massaging at his arms after he wakes though and as he pulls his coat and hat on. There are some strips of hard meat for breakfast and the leftover potatoes that were foraged yesterday have now been cooked deep in the embers of the fire. August uses his fingers to pry the potatoes from their skins and once everything is cooler, he offers the skin as a plate.

“Oooh, thank you, August,” Adelia cradles her potato skin and begins popping the potato chunks into her mouth. “Try some, Violet.”

She offers a piece to her doll and explains, “She knows how to eat around the stitches. She’s very clever.”

“You’re clever together,” agrees Skeev.

He’s eating both the potato and the skin with noisy relish. Idyl is eyeing him with a lot of discomfort and is keeping to his side of the fire. August eats his breakfast, making sure to feed the moth as well.

“It didn’t hurt your fingers,” Skreev points out suddenly from next to August, startling him.

“Ah, what?”

Skreev pokes the potato skin that August is holding, “It didn’t burn your fingers when you disemboweled it right out of the flames.”

Oh. August hadn’t even thought about it, he’d assumed the burning sensation was because of the dregs of his nightmare. He examines his fingers, they don’t feel burned by the fire. August knows how that feels, he feels the burning in his skin start to kindle hotter again. His fingers curl in response.

“You’re awake,” Skreev tells him, his black eyes fixed on August. “It’s not burning here.”

August manages a rueful smile, “That’s not how it works. The time after a nightmare, it takes a little while for everything to go back to normal. To my normal.”

Skreev hums throatily, “Can you hold anything that’s been burned in a fire?”

“No, that’s not…that’s not what this is,” August sighs and turns a little so that he and Skreev are talking slightly away from the others. His nightmares make enough noise, he doesn’t want them to disturb people while everyone’s awake too. “It’s a memory from the Hive, being stuck in the maze felt like burning after a while. So this morning, I didn’t notice how hot the potatoes were because my fingers still felt like they were burning from my nightmare.”

Skreev tilts his head over August’s fingers, gazing down at them, “Are they still burning now?”

“A little bit, it’s duller now, thankfully.”

August rubs his fingers together, all four sets of them, nodding at the banked sensation that is dull again now and that will fire back up once he next dreams of the Hive.

Skreev taps his fingers against two of August’s hands, like he’s checking something, saying, “I’ll get the others later.”

Then he bounds away towards Adelia. When they’re travelling later that day, Adelia asks to hold his hand. She asks surprisingly quietly.

“Um, why?” replies August, keeping his voice quiet as well.

“To see if my hand burns too,” she replies promptly. “I won’t tell anyone if it does.”

August blinks all of his eyes and manages to keep walking, “That’s…thank you, but it doesn’t work that way. Skreev wasn’t burned last night when he…landed on me?”

Adelia smiles, “He saved you from the Hive.”

August is about to deny that, but thinks through the nightmare and how he woke up, “I suppose he did, yes.”

“But can I hold your hand? I really want to see if I burn too, just in case.”

August can see Idyl looking back at them and so slips one of his hands into Adelia’s, “Okay, let’s keep quiet though, okay? How does that feel?”

“Soft,” says Adelia with a giggle. “And warm, but there’s no burning.”

She doesn’t let go of his hand though. No one has ever wanted to hold Skreev’s hand before. He’s used to people gripping him when they want to pin him down and hurt him. But Skreev and Adelia have held onto him to wake him up and to check on him, sort of. 

Skreev slips back to walk with them from where he’s been walking with Misty. He moves on all fours in his usual hunched deliberate way. He moves as swiftly as everyone else does and he is clearly most comfortable moving that way. August can’t imagine Skreev walking on two legs and is still thinking about that when Skreev says, “How is his hand, Adelia?”

“It’s not hot,” Adelia whispers back. “It’s warm though, and very soft.”

“Mmm, no burning.”

“No burning, no.”

August wonders, for a terrible moment that almost makes him stumble, if they don’t believe him about his nightmares and the feelings the nightmares give him. He wonders if this is all a game to them. Then two things happen, Skreev bumps against August, his arms then brushing against August’s side as they walk, and Adelia presses against his other side, her head tilting up like she’s about to tell him a secret.

“Would the moth flap his wings and keep you from falling, if you tripped and fell?” she asks, eagerly interested.

August’s thoughts scramble, he wasn’t expecting that question, “Um, no, he hasn’t before. Maybe if it was a big fall?”

“That’s useful,” muses Skreev through his usual smile. “He helped on the bridge before, that would have been a very big fall for you, without wings.”

“Please don’t test the moth by making me fall from really high up,” asks August, struck by the kind of games that Skreev and Adelia seem to enjoy.

“He won’t,” promises Adelia. “That’s not a fun game.”

“Falling can be fun,” counters Skreev, his eyes shining up at August.

“Not for me, please,” August pauses and asks even quieter, because the possibility hasn’t left his thoughts since it first made him stumble. “Do you think I’m lying about the burning?”

“Oh no, it’s very real, in your nightmares and for your skin, two different places at once,” replies Skreev, still smiling but without a hint of mockery. “It’s such a shame we don’t get to feel it too.”

“It’s not fun.”

“Not for you, but we make our own fun.”

Adelia and Skreev grin at each other past August and laugh. Adelia starts to swing her hand and August’s between them, Violet clutched at her other side. Both she and Skreev stay close to August as the group travels on, both of them brushing against him with almost every step. It’s a very new experience for August, one that becomes more comfortable the longer they walk. And, August eventually realises in amazement, the burning in his skin has stopped completely.

Chapter Text

When August next has a nightmare, it’s about the Queen Mother cutting him open. He’s in agony, a different kind of burning on his back, and the Queen Mother’s voice is in his ears when he’s shaken awake. It’s Skreev again, holding onto two of August’s hands. His face is close to August’s, staring down at him.

“How’s the burning?” he asks.

“Ah, different, it’s the Hive but it’s not, it’s a different memory.”

August is trembling and is trying to stop hearing the Queen Mother’s laughter. He presses two of his hands to his ears and takes deep breaths. He realises he is trembling partly because of the moth which is thrashing its wings. He hisses from the pain as the moth starts trying to fly.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” he says softly, reaching back to carefully touch the moth. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to hurt you, I promise.”

The moth calms and slowly stops beating its wings. Skreev stays close, still holding onto him, and August realises that Adelia is out of what passes as her bed and is creeping up behind Skreev.

“Oh, you should be sleeping,” August murmurs. “I’m sorry.”

“I shan’t sleep until Skreev does, and he won’t until you do,” Adelia replies matter-of-factly.

She doesn’t sound upset about it and August can only stare at her. Skreev won’t sleep until August does. August cannot fathom why. But Skreev is still smiling at him and he’s loosened his grip on August’s hands. Now he’s stroking them instead.

“You were right, Adelia, warm and soft,” he comments lowly.

“Does the moth get bad dreams at the same time you do?” Adelia asks August. “He was really upset. Can I pet him too?”

“Ah, I don’t know if he dreams at all, um, but the way we’ve been connected, it’s a body connection not a brain one, I think,” August manages to offer. “I think I was hurting him by rolling around or something, that’s why he was upset.”

“And can I pet him?”

August tries not to think about all the ways that could go wrong and how much it could hurt him, “Maybe in the morning, if we all sleep right now? He doesn’t like being touched so much, considering what happened to him. You’ll have to be really, really, gentle. He won’t hurt you though.”

Adelia cocks her head, “He hurt you.”

“Yeah, he was trying to fly and when we both don’t cooperate, it doesn’t really work and it hurts us both” August explains. “So it hurt, but I don’t blame him. He didn’t ask to be…part of me.”

Adelia frowns and nods, “Okay, we won’t hurt him then. Are you going to sleep again now?”

August tries to make sense of her words, why would they hurt the moth? “Yes, I’m going to try.”

“Oh, come and sleep by us,” says Adelia suddenly, her eyes bright and happy. “We can get to you even quicker then, right when the bad dreams start. Do you want to sleep next to Violet? She’s very good with nightmares.”

She points to her doll, still lying where Adelia placed her when she was getting ready to sleep. She never lets anyone but Skreev touch Violet.

“Won’t…won’t you miss her?” August asks faintly.

“Oh, I’ll be sleeping next to her too, silly,” giggles Adelia.

Skreev laughs too, his fingers still touching August’s. He’s almost trying to arrange them next to his own, his smile sketching back and forth at how different their hands are.

“And I’ll find somewhere to sleep close by,” he comments.

He doesn’t seem upset by Adelia wanting to suddenly change their usual sleeping arrangements. August glances around, aware suddenly that the others could be awake. Misty is on watch and is slightly turned towards them. He nods so that she knows to stay where she is. Her figures bends in response. Brixton’s eyes are visible but she says nothing, Idyl is half sitting up, looking concerned and confused, like he was perhaps thinking of getting up and has decided against it. Synx is apparently fast asleep.

Adelia tugs on August’s hand and gets him to go with her, because she doesn’t want to move Violet while her doll is sleeping. Skreev crawls beside them, his face turning towards the others and clearly doing something because Idyl is now looking pretty unnerved. But Adelia sits down on the ground and makes sure that August has his top hat and coat with him as he settles down on Violet’s other side. August curls up under his coat in the way that he’s found best suits him and the moth.

Once Adelia has checked on Violet and has then laid down again herself, Skreev drops in a puddle of limbs before arranging himself like a sleeping beast in front of all three of them. His head bumps against Adelia’s knees, making them both giggle together privately. August hears them whispering before silence falls again.

His dreams are fitful for the rest of the night, but they aren’t painful. In the morning, he wakes and goes through his routine of sliding on his coat and hat. Adelia is playing with Violet, she smiles when she sees him awake..

“Why don’t you wear your coat when you’re sleeping?” she asks, by way of a greeting.

“I like using it as a blanket, it’s more comfortable.”

“I had three blankets at home, someone knitted them for me. I can’t remember who but they were very cozy on very cold nights.”

Adelia doesn’t sound sad about it, more matter of fact. August nods carefully though, “I don’t know if we could find anything like that, but we could look out for blankets or maybe ask for some when we’re trading.”

Adelia smiles and nods, touching the whistle that she always wears around her neck, “Skreev’s good at trading, we should ask him.”

August is startled to be included in her plans but not disturbed by the idea and is about to glance around for Skreev when Adelia asks, “Can I pet the moth, please?”

August glances over his shoulder, the moth doesn’t feel like it’s having a bad day. It’s recovered from the night before. Skreev melts out of the shadows then, maybe he was watching there the whole time. He squats next to Adelia, exchanging a smile with her after bumping against her side.

August sits down and takes a deep breath, “Okay, you need to be careful and gentle, please. Just touch its back and take it slow.”

“Because if it starts getting cross and tries to fly, you’ll get hurt again.”

“Exactly, and I don’t like that game.”

Skreev laughs and tugs suddenly on the metal ring that’s threaded through his chest, “Mmm, I do.”

“I can see that,” ventures August, trying not to wince in response to how painful Skreev’s action looks.

Skreev just grins, unoffended, and tugs the ring again before patting it and letting it go. August focuses back on Adelia as the girl lifts her hand towards the moth, her eyes fixed on it.

“She’s just going to pet you,” August tells the moth, looking over his shoulder as best he can. “She’ll be gentle.”

“Yes, I will be, I’ll be really gentle,” agrees Adelia.

Skreev leans in to watch as Adelia’s arm seems to move slowly back and forth above August’s back. The moth buzzes and twitches hard, August swallows a sound of pain.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m being gentle,” Adelia says, maybe to both the moth and to August.

The moth seems to settle, probably because all Adelia is doing is gently stroking it. That’s what August assumes. He can’t see what’s happening but Misty comes over to look and asks, “What are you doing?”

“I wanted to pet the moth and August said I could if I was very gentle and careful.”

“You are doing very well, it is staying very still.”

“Yes, it was a bit scared and buzzy at first but it knows I’m gentle now so it’s being still. And that’s good because when it’s still, it doesn’t hurt August.”

“Yes, that’s right. You learn very quickly.”

“Thank you.”

Adelia sounds delighted. The moth makes a couple of quiet buzzes but doesn’t sound agitated and Misty is right, it’s staying very still. It’s probably confused. The only person who touches it now is August and that’s only for occasional reassurance. Other than that, the only time someone has probably touched it was when it was being sewn into August’s back. But Adelia must be being very gentle with it, August doubts that the moth has ever been petted before.

“You can pet Skreev if you like,” Adelia tells August. “It’s only fair, I’m petting your pet.”

August focuses on the latter of Adelia’s sentences, it’s the part most easily dealt with, “It’s not my pet. We didn’t have a choice about being like this and there’s no way we can separate because we don’t know how tangled together we both are on the inside, or if we’d survive being taken apart.”

“Oh,” Adelia packs a lot of understanding into a single word. “Is the moth part of your bad dreams?”

August nods, a pained memory twinging in his back, “The putting together part, yes.”

“Did you hear that?” Adelia is talking to the moth now. “You’re in August’s bad dreams but he knows it’s not your fault, so please don’t try to fly and hurt him. Thank you.”

Oh, that’s kind of her, and unexpected. August swallows past a lump in his throat.

“Thank you,” he says softly, not sure what to do with himself. One set of hands automatically reaches into his coat for his sewing kit.

“You should pet Skreev, it’s a very nice feeling, like you’re about to fall asleep into good dreams. You need more of that,” Adelia tells him with authority. “He won’t bite you.”

Skreev grins at August, “Unless you ask of course.”

“No,” August says quickly, feeling oddly like he should apologise for his differing tastes. “I…I don’t enjoy pain at all.”

He feels the pain in his back again from the nightmare and tries not to move in a way that’ll panic the moth. Skreev moves so that he’s beside August, almost facing him, squatting down and bumping against August, like he bumped against Adelia earlier.

“No pain for you,” Skreev repeats, his smile staying the same. “No pain indeed.”

It doesn’t sound like a goad or like anything mocking, Skreev’s voice is always like that. August’s sewing kit is still in one of his hands so he opens it and takes out his mending. As he works on that, with Adelia and Misty talking behind him, one of his free hands spreads over Skreev’s long white hair and strokes carefully from root to tip. Skreev does a full body shudder with a quiet vibrating hum and pushes his head firmly into August’s palm. There’s no demand for pain, but it seems like Skreev is pleased, from the way his body is now half draped on the ground, his shoulder and head resting against August’s knee.

This is…August is used to tolerance at best from most people. He’s formed friendships with the others here, they’re the exceptions. He supposes this is Adelia and Skreev’s form of friendship, it’s what makes sense to them. He’s showing trust to Adelia, maybe this is Skreev returning the favour.

“Don’t stop,” Skreev says with a hiss.

August’s hand had slowed to a stop as he’d been contemplating. He imagines that Skreev will do anything that Adelia asks him to, but Adelia is currently focused on the moth. 

August runs his fingers through Skreev’s hair and focuses on his mending.

“What’re you doing?” Skreev asks, his eyes fixed up on August and maybe on Adelia too.

So August finds himself explaining his mending and finds that Skreev has more questions, a few about the sewing needles and some about what August uses his thread for. But he’s listening to August’s answers and watching August’s fingers as they work on the clothing. He seems actually interested. And the whole experience is, August imagines that this must be what peace feels like, or something like it. He feels like he shouldn’t talk too loudly or disturb it, because he doesn’t want it to stop.

But eventually it’s time to pack up the camp and move on, and Adelia thanks the moth and then thanks August, “Can I do it again tomorrow?”

The moth isn’t desperately trying to get away, in fact, it’s very quiet, making the soft noises that August associates with it being settled.

“I think so, as long as you ask me first.”

“I will, I promise,” Adelia nods and then turns to Skreev, “It was as soft as August’s hands.”

“Really?” Skreev looks up at them both. “They’re very soft.”

Adelia hurries to get Violet ready and August puts his sewing kit and mending away, carefully pulling his hand out of Skreev’s hair, maybe with surprising regret. Adelia was right, it is a good feeling.

Skreev doesn’t have anything to pack away, he keeps his eyes on Adelia, though he’s less focused on her when he sees that Misty is with her. That makes happy pride warm inside August. Misty has always been fascinated by children and Adelia is equally fascinated by her it seems. And Skreev seems to trust Misty with Adelia.

When August stands up, Skreev grabs hold of one of his hands, “Very soft. Same time tomorrow then, while Adelia has moth time?”

August’s immediate reaction is to say yes but he stops himself, letting out a stammer instead. Skrev’s grin grows and he suddenly presses August’s hand to his mouth for a moment. August feels what he thinks are teeth against his knuckles, but there’s no biting and no pain.

Skreev lets go, his teeth on display in his grin. The happy pride inside August has twisted into a happy something else. He doesn’t know what it is, but he likes the feeling.

When they’re walking later, Idyl falls into step beside August, “What’s your thoughts on our new arrivals?”

August shrugs, he has a lot of thoughts, “They’re helping us because they want to stay safe and don’t want to be put in cages again.”

“You’re not…unnerved by them?”

“Like you are?” August can’t resist teasing a little, because Idyl hasn’t been able to hide how disturbed he is by both Adelia and Skreev. “No, I’ve got plenty to be unnerved about, they’re…they’re not included.”

“Really? Their behaviour doesn’t concern you?” Idyl eyes Adelia and Skreev who are talking to Misty up ahead. “She was petting your moth and talking to it, and Skreev was…actually I don’t know what he was doing this morning. You were stroking his hair though, are you feeling okay?”

August finds that a peaceful feeling echoes in him at the memory of that. It’s the first time, he realises, that he’s felt the effects of a happy memory. He lets it settle inside of him. He hasn’t felt the pain in his back from the previous night for a while now.

“I’m okay, I’m good,” he tests out, meaning it. “The moth was fine with Adelia petting it and talking to it, that was new for both of us, and Skreev was…well, that was new for both of us too. It kept him still while Adelia was busy.”

From what Adelia said, she’s petted Skreev before. But August gets the feeling that she’s the only one who ever has, and it’s an experience far away from any of August’s. He flexes a hand silently, remembering Skreev’s hair gliding between his fingers.

“...Okay,”  responds Idyl slowly. “So you aren’t worried, about their ‘games’ getting a little too weird and wild and taking us all into the crossfire?”

“No,” August can say that definitively, thinking of their reactions to his dreams. If they’d wanted to hurt him or take his things, his nightmares would have been the perfect moment for it. Instead, they kept doing the opposite. “I don’t think they include us in those sorts of games.”

“Really, because whatever they’re playing, I’d have said they only care about each other, until recently.”

August doesn’t blush, he doesn’t think he ever has. But his cheeks feel warm now, and that happy something else feeling is back. Idyl shakes his head.

“Be careful, we can’t be distracted from the branch and we don’t actually know how far their games go,” he tells August.

“You wouldn’t…you’re not thinking they’re so dangerous that we shouldn’t travel with them,” asks August suddenly, concern rearing its head.

He knows how focused Idyl is on completing this mission and the thought of Adelia and Skreev getting discarded makes a different kind of burning grow in August. The moth buzzes, like it's agreeing.

“No…no, they’re good in a fight, as long as they remember to finish it and not toy with our attackers instead,” replies Idyl, eyeing where Skreev and Adelia are walking with Misty.

“They always finish their attackers,” August answers. “That’s how they win their games.”

Idyl gives him an odd look but says, “You’re vouching for them.”

“Yes,” states August, it’s something else that feels definitive. He doesn’t like thinking about the group without them now, he doesn’t like thinking about himself or Misty without them. Misty is pretty taken with Adelia. He’d rather think about their relentless presence in the aftermath of his nightmares, Adelia’s determined gentleness with the moth, Skreev’s touches, and his own fingers through Skreev’s hair. “I am.”

Chapter Text

When August next has a nightmare, pain radiates through every part of his body as he’s endlessly punished in the Hive. He wakes violently, just as he’s being sat up. It takes a while before his thoughts clear and steady and he stops moving. Then he realises why, Skreev has his arms wrapped around August’s middle, his head tucked under August’s chin. He’s holding August upright and as still as possible as Adelia is talking to the moth, telling it not to worry because August isn’t hurt or trying to hurt it. That’s all because of the Hive, remember.

One of August’s arms wraps around Skreev’s shoulder as August steadies his breathing and tries not to shudder too much from the remembered pain. He can feel Skreev’s metal chest ring through his shirt.

“Who were you fighting?” asks Skreev, with the eagerness he always has for a fight.

August can hear the words rumbling through him and he can feel the motion of Skreev’s jaw, thanks to Skreev’s proximity. It is another new experience for him.

“The Queen Mother, her army, all the punishment,” he murmurs, aware that the others are probably staring.

He shudders, the pain is still touching every part of him. Skreev stays wrapped around him.

“She’s dead, she can’t have you again,” he says, sounding pleased.

“I think there’s going to be another Queen Mother in the Hive.”

August presses his lips together, he’s not said that out loud to anyone but Misty. Skreev shakes his head, “It won’t be the one in your memories though.”

“Yes, and she can stay in her Hive,” agrees Adelia decisively, sitting down beside August. “The moth is really calm now, I think it’s ready to sleep again, come on.”

Skreev finally loosens his grip and nudges against August, “Come on, come on, let’s sleep before the games start again tomorrow.”

He chuckles at the thought, Adelia matching him with a smile and commenting, “Do you know any fun games, August?”

“Um, the cat’s cradle I made for you? My thread that we twisted between our fingers?”

Adelia’s face lights up, “Oh, yes! I’ve never played that before, it made my fingers all confused.”

“I can make more thread tomorrow and show you again, if you want?”

“Yes, please, after I’ve petted the moth though.”

Of course. August settles down where he’d been sleeping and finds Adelia is lying down next to him now, having swapped places with Violet. Skreev curls up close to August’s knees, rubbing his head against the bones there. It’s another new experience for August; he’s going to need more than two of his hands to count them soon.

“Are you burning again?” Skreev asks against August’s knee.

“No,” August rubs at his arms, trying to push the pain away. “It’s pain this time, from the punishments.”

He braces himself for Skreev to ask more eager questions, due to Skreev’s very different relationship with pain. But while Skreev hums with interest, he says instead, “Bad pain in bad dreams.”

He nudges his head against August’s nearest hand, saying, “For good dreams.”

August has continued to spend time with Skreev each morning while Adelia pets the moth, but they’ve never done this at night before. It is tempting, getting that soft peace while being plagued with pain. Skreev nudges against his hand again, lingering this time, like he wants it too. August’s hand travels closer, his fingers threading gently through Skreev’s hair, seeking that peace. Skreev gives a contented sigh. August feels himself relax too.

He wakes a couple more times during the night, both from the pain, but they’re both only for a brief moment. Then he drifts back to sleep and finally wakes in the morning with the pain still present but slightly dulled. For some reason, his hand is resting splayed across Skreev’s face. But as soon as August starts to slightly move, Skreev wakes in an instant and grabs August’s hand to press it closer to his skin.

“Soft,” he murmurs.

“I’m sorry,” August apologises, trying to move his hand away, though Skreev seems keen to hold onto it. It’s too odd for August to talk to Skreev through his own hand though and Skreev eventually drags it down to press against his chest, in the middle of the ring “That must have been a really weird way to wake up.”

“No, no, I’ve woke up much worse before,” replies Skreev with glimmering eyes. “I know your hand, I prefer it.”

August can feel the edge of the metal ring against his wrist. Skreev’s skin is cool and his heartbeat isn’t rapid. August sort of figured it would be. Skreev lifts the hand to his mouth so that August can feel Skreev’s teeth on his knuckles again. Like the last time, there’s no pain. Then Skreev leaps over August’s legs to land beside Adelia. She is just starting to stir.

“It’s another day for games, Adelia,” Skreev croons. “Did Violet sleep well?”

Adelia sits up and looks over at her doll, checking her with sure fingers, “Oh yes, we both did. Did you after the nightmare?”

Skreev nods and tilts his head towards August, Adelia follows the line of his posture to look at August, “Did you sleep well too, August?”

“I did, yes, thank you,” August replies, flexing his hands and wincing as he sits up. “I’m still not burning, but the pain hasn’t gone yet.”

“Bad pain,” adds Skreev

“I hate bad pain,” frowns Adelia. “It’s no fun, it means we can’t play games. Oh, does this mean we can’t play cat’s cradles now?”

She looks crestfallen but August is already shaking his head, “No, I think that’ll be fine. And I need to move today anyway, we can’t stop travelling because of me.”

“You can sit still and use your hands, to save your feet for travelling,” points out Skreev.

“That’s a good idea. Is there breakfast? Can I feed the moth?” asks Adelia eagerly.

“As long as you’re very careful. It’ll take food with its tongue, you can’t fill its mouth up. That’ll hurt it. Misty can help you, she knows what to do.”

Adelia rushes off to get breakfast and Misty while August reaches for his coat and hat. Skreev watches him get dressed, “Misty could carry you, if the bad pain is very bad. I could carry you on my back, I’ve carried Adelia.”

That conjures up strange visuals. August can imagine it would alarm the moth as it would look as though August had a heavy load for it to carry. He would trust Misty or Skreev to carry him though. He could use his wand in that position too but he hopes he wouldn’t have to.

“Thank you, but I’ve walked through pain before,” he says. “It'll go eventually.”

“Will the memories go eventually too?” asks Skreev, tugging on his chest ring.

He sounds curious, not eager or hopeful. Maybe he enjoys his memories as much as the pain, or he doesn’t have all his memories because of it. August shakes his head.

///

When they spy the Damask Queens, Skreev’s whole body tenses beside Adelia in the hiding place that they’re both sharing with August. Skreev looks ready to launch himself at the group of people who look so much like him. Horrified recognition runs through August. He knows what it is like to be taken, tortured, torn apart and changed forever. He hasn’t really thought before about how his story and Skreev’s run so similarly together, like parallel stitching but with very different attitudes.

Skreev is grinning, like he’s happy to see his traumatising past, and August finds he has a hand clenched in the back of Skreev’s shirt. Fear is now sluicing through him, cold and drowning. He hasn’t gone back to the Hive because he knows it’s very doubtful he’d emerge from it unchanged or alive. He shivers, memories digging pain through him, still fresh from the previous night’s nightmare. Skreev looks eager to return to his Hive.

“I haven’t played with them in so long,” Skreev croons.

“Do they play like you?” asks Adelia, looking at the group in fascination.

“Oh yes, but they’re not very good at it. They stayed here.”

“They’ll hear us,” hisses Synx from where he’s hidden. “Leash him or muzzle him or something.”

Skreev snaps his teeth at Synx. August bends his head to whisper, “Your Queen Mother isn’t dead. Please don’t try to find her.”

“Oh?” Skreev’s head slants up towards him.

August still feels steeped in the pain of memories and coldness of fear, it’s so different to the peace and happy something that he’s been feeling around Skreev and Adelia. He doesn’t want the pain and fear to become his normal again. He has so little to hold onto; Misty, his clothes, his sewing kit, his wand, and now this, now them.

He says very quietly to Skreev, “I don’t want you to become one of my bad memories.”

Skreev holds his gaze and then bumps close against August’s legs, just as the group they’ve been watching moves on. Skreev frowns for a moment but his disappointment doesn’t linger. August feels so relieved, he is frozen still. The group from the Damask Queens is gone but there was a moment when it all could have been different..

Skreev stays pressed against his legs, but he’s complimenting Adelia on her knotted thread bracelet. She made it with August’s help that morning and wished there were flowers to weave into it.

“Would you make me one?” Skreev asks her.

“Oh yes, I could make one for every one of your rings.”

“I like that, a bracelet for a ring.”

They laugh together companionably and August thinks that neither of them are touched by the same fear he was, by the possibility that Skreev was going to throw himself outnumbered into a fight that could have killed him. It could have decimated August and the others, trying to help Skreev. Adelia definitely wouldn’t have left without him, no matter what. August thinks, as he watches them, that he would have stayed too.

That night’s nightmare is inevitable. This time, it’s not a memory, it’s a possibility. It’s Skreev laughing and being torn apart by a dozen people who look just like him, who crave the fight as much as he does. It’s Adelia fighting as well and refusing to leave his corpse until she’s dead too. It’s both of them not sparing a glance back at August as they relish their games and run towards their smiling deaths.

August wakes and sits up gasping for air, something painful caught in his throat. Skreev is holding onto two of August’s arms, his head cocked with confusion. August’s hands are gripping Skreev very tightly, like he’s trying to pull out answers. He lets go and his hands go to Streev’s bare arms instead, they even brush the metal rings there for the first time. Skreev’s eyes are keen on him, fascinated. August looks him over with all of his eyes, his breathing heavy.

“Skreev?” he murmurs.

“Yes…” Skreev draws out. “What memory was that?”

August glances over and sees Adelia, whole and awake, watching him avidly. She smiles widely and he smiles back relieved.

Skreev doesn’t let go of him. He bends his face closer, “What memory was it?”

August takes a deep breath, “What was I doing?”

“You were calling my name, and Adelia’s,” Skreev reveals, one corner of his smile rising higher than the other. “Were we in the Hive?”

August shakes his head and carefully lies down again, “It wasn’t a memory. It was…it was a concern.”

“We’re concerning?”

Skreev’s hands stay on August’s arms, like he thinks August will run off. The irony makes something catch in August’s throat again.

He touches Skreev’s shoulder gently, then his knees, his arms, the metal ring in his chest.

“It was today and you ran in to fight. They were tearing you apart and Adelia wouldn't leave you. It was a game to you both, but I saw…” August feels a pang inside and remembers their laughter, their blood, their gutted bodies. His eyes close for a moment. “I saw a nightmare.”

“Hmmm,” Skreev breathes. “So we lost.”

August nods, his expression pinched, “We lost.”

He really hopes this dream doesn’t linger. It’s not fair that his bad dreams are now full of possible future pain as well as the pain he remembers. Skreev strokes his hand.

“Have you dreamt a ‘concerning’ before?” he asks.

“I used to, about Misty, when we first escaped the Hive. I thought a lot about her being taken or hurt. Not many people liked or trusted us outside the Hive walls.”

“Why?”

It sounds like a genuine question. Because to Skreev, the world and the people in it seem to simply be a playground for him and Adelia. People’s appearances really don’t appear to register with him. Something twists in August’s chest.

“She’s a reminder of the Veiled Gods, it unnerves people at best. I do too, except for this group.”

“Mmm, yes,” Skreev squeezes his hand. “Still soft.”

Then he checks, “Are you burning?”

“No.”

“Is there any bad pain?”

August opens his mouth to answer, but then stays silent. He’s not got pain in his back, the moth is quiet, maybe Adelia was talking to it before August woke up, and he hasn’t got pain in his limbs. The only pain he has is grief.

Skreev peers closer at him, his head looming by August’s cheek, “Any pain?”

August nods slowly but keeps his mouth shut. Skreev hums, then drops to lie down beside August, his head resting against August’s shoulder.

“We’re winning,” he says conspiratorially. “We keep winning, day after day. Winning days.”

“Yes, the days.”

The nights are definitely worse for August. Skreev keeps hold of August’s hand while another of August’s hands combs through Skreev’s hair. Adelia has settled easily back down into sleep, and Misty has turned towards them. August breathes slowly, soon comforted and warmed by the start of now-familiar peace. At least he has this now, every day and night. At least he has them. The warmth of that thought carries him through the rest of the night peacefully to the morning.