Chapter 2

Scylvia strolled along the halls of the house, paintings lined up on the walls. Some were torn and battered to the point of unrecognizability, while some were still in mint condition, though the thick layer of dust collecting along its frames were the tell-tale signs of its age.

The paintings felt familiar yet distant.  She could see it right in front of her, yet as soon as she turned away, she couldn’t even begin to describe what she just saw. The luminescent lights flickered above her, its light cold and sharp. There were no shadows in that room.

Her footsteps echoed across the ever stretching hallway, no turn or end in sight. She reached out to the end of the hallway, and felt the cold metal of a doorknob in her palm. 
She twisted the door knob as the door opened with a creak after a small push. 

Inside was her room. 

Warm light bled into the room, the air stale. 
She walked around before her eyes fixated on the piano next to her desk. 

She sat down in front of it, positioning her hands properly in a smooth and fluid motion, almost like muscle memory. The music sheet in front of her stared until she finally took notice. It was ‘Clair De lune’. 

She can play it. She practiced this before. It’s just a simple piece.

She felt the cold and smooth ivory keys press against her fingers as she started to play, the familiar feeling of the steady rhythm guiding her through the piece. This was one of her favorites to play, the rhythm slow and steady– the gentle way this was played gave her a way to ground herself, a calm and almost fun way.

The smooth and gentle melody was disrupted by a small miss-press, making her flinch. A small mistake.

Then her mother called out. 

“Again.”

She played the piece again, trying to focus just a little more this time. But it didn’t take long before she made another mistake.

“Again.”

The voice was strict and stern. It doesn’t matter– just get it right. 

Another wrong note.

“Again.”

Her mothers voice got louder, the frustration starting to show. 

Why couldn’t she get this one right? It’s simple. Just focus. Just try to focus.

“Again!” 

She yelled. She was mad. Just get it right. You’re doing it wrong. You should be able to play this perfectly. This is supposed to be a simple piece. 

Her heartbeat quickened as the panic started to set in. Don’t make her mad. Don’t make her mad. 

Another mistake.
“Again!” 

Why can’t you do it? You’re making her mad.

Another one. 

Her mothers voice hurt her ears. 

The soothing rhythm of the piece slowly turned discordant, mistake after mistake, it’s like she’s slowly forgetting the piece. She could play it easily. Why can’t she now?

Just play it. 

The smooth ivory keys started to feel sharp as it pressed against her fingers as blood pooled at her feet. Why can’t she get this piece right? 

The clicks of the metronome guiding her rhythm didn’t seem to help. 

She played it, again and again and again-

…

Then the voice stopped screaming.

Her mother was gone.

She looked around the room, no one was there.

She turned back to the piano. 

Positioned her hands against the jagged and cold keys.

And pressed on it.

—

She woke up with a jolt. Breathless and desperately trying to understand where she was. Her heart was beating fast, the rhythmic thumping almost ringing in her ear. Cold sweat dripped down her forehead as she finally processed the sound of her alarm shattering the silence of the room and the feeling of something soft and familiar under her palm. 

It was her blanket.

Right. 

Scylvia was in her room.

Her real room.

She sighed as she positioned herself at the edge of her bed, putting her feet down on the cold hardwood floor. The sudden feeling of the cold made her relax, just a little. She shut off the annoyingly loud alarm as she steadied herself, now trying to focus on the lingering scent of lavender in the air– she just needed to ground herself.

Scylvia counted to four as she breathed in, holding for four, and another four as she breathed out slowly, focusing on the feeling of her chest rising and falling every time she completed those twelve seconds. The feeling of the cold air of the airconditioned room, the lingering body heat in her blanket, the soft cushion shifting under her weight… It helped steady her, more often than not. 

She looked around in her room, now clean and organized– her books finally lined up on the shelf by genre and alphabetical order, her collectibles in their designated shelf, and her plants scattered around, but angled and positioned in a way that made her space feel less chaotic and more coherent. Right, it's been two weeks since she moved in. The air was still as the buzz of the air-conditioner and her now slightly calmer but off-paced breathing were the only sounds that filled the room. She looked at the clock hung up on her wall, the time reading “7:50 AM”. 

Scylvia cursed under her breath as she peeled the blanket off of her, finally getting up and preparing for the day ahead. 

The walk to campus usually took about 20 minutes, but if she hurried up, she’d get there at 15. Then she’d have ten minutes to spare– but wait, the walk to the classroom from the gate takes so long… so maybe five minutes before the bell rings and she’d be there.

“Alright. That's probably fine.” Scylvia muttered to herself as she continued her daily routine, adding a little music playing in the background to motivate her to speed things up, the slow paced and steady rhythm of the song helping her ground herself and find a less frantic routine. 

30 minutes was not enough time to fully prepare, it was already 8:30 when she stepped foot out of the flat, still hungry seeing as she skipped her breakfast– instead, she opted to chugging down coffee as if that was gonna be enough for a whole meal, her music now playing on her headphones instead of her laptops speaker. 

‘So I asked the father how I could be saved, he said; “He birthed you perfect, for God makes no mistakes” But to the farmer’s daughter, my heart is tethered, and I think we’re soulmates.’

She hummed along to the tune as she finally exited the building, the cold wind making her regret not bringing her jacket.

She squinted her eyes as she looked up to the gloomy sky above. It was gonna rain. ‘I’m so dead.’ she thought as she sighed.

Scylvia’s pace as she walked towards the school quickened as each minute passed. She did not want to get wet in the rain this early - not really early - in the morning. She shouldn’t have overslept… no, seriously. How did she sleep through her alarms?

The familiar feeling of someone watching her invaded her senses as she slipped inside the classroom with only a minute left to spare. It doesn’t matter. Scylvia breathed a sigh of relief as she finally sat down, the teacher entering the room right after. She looked out through the window, the view showing the city fogged up by the heavy rain. She could only hope that the rain would stop before she went home.

“Someone’s mysteriously late to class.” A voice called out beside her, their tone light, almost playful.

“You’re just mysteriously early.” Scylvia responded offhandedly, shuffling through her bag to find her laptop. 

“Where did I place it..?” Scylvia muttered under her breath.

“Let me guess, you woke up late because you completely missed your alarms, got ready late, then left your laptop somewhere in the house while you were rushing and that’s what you’re trying to look for now. And also why you’re late.” 

Scylvia paused as the words processed in her brain. She put down her bag as she looked up, finally facing the brunette taking a seat beside her. 

The pair became friends after the girl caught Scylvia playing a song made by an artist called ‘Rabbitology’, which was surprising since she never heard anyone else talk about them. Other than the girl's, or rather, Aria’s amazing music taste and autumn vibe, she was actually fun to talk to. Plus, despite her almost uncaring nature when it came to their academics, if Scylvia missed anything during classes, she could simply ask Aria and she could answer.

“Aria… how do you know that..?” Scylvia asked Aria, skepticism and just a smidge of fear tainted her voice. She was weirdly perceptive and almost psychic like… sometimes giving Scylvia the creeps, but she didn’t think much of it.

“Just a hunch.” Aria shrugged as she took out her old gameboy. One thing Scylvia noticed about Aria is how she never paid attention to class, only playing on her gameboy as the teacher did their lectures. 

“Was I at least a little bit accurate?” She smiled as she redirected her focus to the console, already starting a new game.

“Very.” Scylvia sighed as she shook her head. Finally remembering the fact that she left her laptop open by the counter after playing some music on it, completely forgetting it in the rush to get to the campus.

The sounds of Aria’s gameboy was low enough to not be disruptive while class was in session, but it was loud enough that Scylvia’s attention kept automatically redirecting to the console every time the 8-bit sound of an explosion or whatever it was spilled out of the speakers. 

Scylvia was already struggling with taking down notes without her laptop, and now, she could not - for the life of her - focus on what the teacher was saying. She could hear him speak, yet their words came out muffled, despite being able to hear him as clear as day just a few moments ago.

Her thoughts wandered as the 8-bit sounds from the console somehow grew louder. Almost mimicking the crescendo of her mothers voice in that dream.
No. Just focus. I can focus. 

Yet she still couldn’t stop her thoughts from wandering– from getting distracted.

Scylvia let out a small sigh, almost sounding irritated. She dug through her bag before she felt that familiar feeling of rubber, thin and long. She pulled it out of her bag in one swift motion. She hesitated for a moment as she stared at the earbuds. She hesitated as she at least tried to form a coherent thought in her head instead of just pure white noise, but her mind drew blank. 

Scylvia nudged Aria just a little, causing the brunette girl to jolt upright, startled and trying to regain her bearings. Almost making Scylvia chuckle. Aria turned to look at Scylvia, a confused look painted on her face. Scylvia reached out her hand as she placed the earbuds on Aria’s table, sighing as she pointed at her own ears, signaling her to use it freely before returning her attention back to the lecturer. 

She heard Aria mutter a small and quiet thank you, but all Scylvia could do was nod.

—

As the bell rang, Scylvia wanted nothing more but to get out of that classroom, and fast. Even after giving Aria those earbuds, earning a little more silence– she still couldn’t focus. Her breathing felt shallow, quick, and almost painful. She just needed to get out of there quickly.
Fuck, why do I feel so nauseous?
She was one foot out of the classroom before she felt a tug on her arm. Scylvia turned around, almost in a haze. Oh… it’s Aria.

“Thanks for lending me the earbuds.” Aria reached out her hand as she gently placed the now neatly curled up earbuds on Scylvia’s palm, a small smile on her face. In her rush to get out, she completely forgot she lent Aria her earbuds. She wouldn’t have survived through the whole day without it. 

“You could’ve just told me to mute the game ya’know?” She added, nudging Scylvia with her elbow.

Scylvia hummed.  “Mmh. Yeah, you said you liked the game because of the sounds and music though.” Scylvia responded, her eyes flickering between the exit and Aria’s hands holding hers. God, let me get out of here.

“Aw, you remember that?”

“You told me this yesterday.” Scylvia replied matter of factly. Her tone coming out harsher than she intended.

“Oh. Right.” Aria chuckled, taking a step back and letting go of Scylvia’s hand, almost embarrassed. “Well, you seem to be in a rush, so I won't keep you. Thanks again.” 

“Yeah– I– thanks and no problem.”  God, was I acting like an asshole to her right now?

“And…” Scylvia trailed off as Aria looked at her with a confused expression on her face.

“Sorry…” Scylvia muttered, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“Uh, what?” Aria asked, genuine confusion and a hint of worry laced her voice. “Are you–”

“Yeah– sorry, no– it’s fine. See you 4th period.” 

Scylvia scrambled for her words as shook her head. She stepped out of the classroom as calmly as she possibly could, walking away. As soon as Aria was out of sight, Scylvia practically bolted through the halls, swerving around and trying to avoid the crowd in those crammed hallways as much as she could. She turned the corner and stumbled upon a more secluded spot of the campus. There were less people there which meant more room for her to actually breathe.

She walked into one of those single stall bathrooms, locking the door behind her before turning on the faucet. 

She leaned on the flat surface of the sink, staring at the water spinning round and round before ultimately dripping down the drain. Her head was spinning, her breaths coming out almost shaky and ragged. 

She stared into her reflection in the mirror as she held a white-knuckled grip on the sink, trying her best to balance herself, almost as if she believed that being balanced would help her stabilize the thoughts running through her head. She just wanted something to get those thoughts out of her head. A distraction. God, today was just not her day, was it? 

She took a handful of water as she splashed her face, the sudden feeling of the cold sending shivers down her spine– snapping her out of the daze she found herself in.

Get it together. It’s been two weeks since you got here. Just calm down and keep it together.

Scylvia sighed as she took out her handkerchief to dry her face. She stared at her reflection, analyzing it as if it were one of the plates the teachers assigned them to do. In the sense that she could only ever try to find a mistake in her reflection. Was her eyes red? Was her nose puffy? Was there anything that could give it away? 

She turned towards the door, deciding not to waste anymore time after a triple-check. Her hand hovered over the doorknob. Hesitating just slightly, a twinge of fear laced between each breath she took despite the steadier rhythm she managed to ground herself in.

She took a deep breath before opening that door and stepping out.

It was a good thing her next class teacher did not care about attendance. Scylvia silently hoped that she didn’t miss anything important as she silently slipped into the classroom.

She just needed to put up with a few more hours and she’d get a 2 day break. 

‘Just get through the next few hours and you’ll be fine.’

She frowned at the thought of having to sit through hours of lectures, but she can’t afford to fail or miss anything. Scylvia sighed as she took a seat at the back of the class, trying her best not to bring any attention to herself.

—

The rain didn’t seem to stop pouring the whole day, even when the weather reports said it would calm down before the evening. The city was fogged up, not enough to be blinding, but just enough to be an annoyance. She did not want to get wet.  Absolutely not. She would’ve rather sleep in school than go through the horrendous feeling of having your previously comfortably dry clothes stick to your body– especially with the cotton material her blouse was made of. That was a sensory nightmare she was absolutely not willing to go through. Almost like a miracle from god himself, Sam was passing by the school with his grey car, and she was able to hitch a ride.

The two exchanged greetings but the conversation quickly fell into a quiet slump, though Scylvia was none the wiser. She sat at the passenger seat, right next to Sam, as she peered out of the window, watching the buildings move past them. She was lost in thought.

The silence of the car was only broken by the rattle and whirring of the engine and the pitter-patter of the rain drops hitting the car’s roof. It felt awkward. Which was… weird.

A sigh broke through the silence, making Scylvia turn her head towards Sam, a little bit confused.

“You’re quieter than usual.” Sam spoke up, a small smile on his face as he continued to focus on the road ahead of them.

“Something on your mind?” He asked in between changing gears, producing a faint clicking sound and a slightly louder whirr of the engine.

“Oh– huh..? Sorry, it’s nothing.” Scylvia answered, slightly caught off guard by the question. Was she being quieter than usual? If she was, she really couldn’t tell. God she should really start paying more attention-

“I know you usually tell Cami about this sort of stuff,” Sam added, immediately snapping Scylvia out of her thoughts.  He paused, almost as if trying to reflect on his words before speaking them aloud.

“But hey… People say I can be a great listener.” He added, a gentle smile on his face.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He reached in his cup holder, before pulling a penny out from it and tossing it to Scylvia. Who stared at the penny - now in her hands - absent mindedly.

“Are you bribing me–?” Scylvia asked, a small huff leaving her as she felt her lips curl up into a smile.

“It’s not bribing, it’s just…” Sam trailed off.

“Encouragement.” 

“Guess a penny is encouraging these days, huh?”

“It very much is.” 

The car slowed to a stop as the red light of the traffic-light above glowed softly, painting the greyish-white fog with a hint of red. The conversation fell into a lull, a silence Scylvia was now keenly aware of as she tried to make sense of what happened throughout the day. Just something coherent enough to actually talk about it.

A sigh left Scylvia’s lips as she opened her mouth, hesitating to let the words out. 

“I–” She stopped herself. What if she was just being a bother? She shouldn’t be talking about it. She shouldn’t. She doesn’t have to. But… 

Maybe they’ll understand?

“I don’t really know what I’m feeling to be honest.” She managed to say. Still hesitating between the pauses of each word. She didn’t know if she felt scared or relieved when she managed to force it out of her. Sam hummed as he changed the gears of the car as it started to move forward, the traffic-light turning green.

After that was another lull in the conversation  Scylvia turned to face Sam as she tried to analyze what he was thinking. Trying to figure out what exactly was going on. 

Trying to find a rejection. Something to tell her to stop. Something to tell her it was a mistake. 

But she couldn’t find it.  

The silence wasn’t an awkward one but rather, it felt almost like anticipation. Maybe even encouragement to keep going. It wasn’t sharp or cold. It was just… an invitation. One where she didn’t feel obliged to accept. Just something that she could possibly do.

“I guess I’m still getting used to everything.” She added, wincing and already cursing at herself in her mind for adding onto the regret she was already feeling. She should really just… stop. Before she really finds a reason to regret it.

“Hm? what do you mean by that?”

“Oh– I…” Oh, he was actually listening? 

“I guess… I didn’t really know how to act or– uhm… what to do at first.” Scylvia scrambled to find her words, startled by the mere fact he was actually paying attention while driving. She didn’t expect that, didn’t anticipate at all for that outcome. 

I mean, she knew he was a good person, I mean, Cami talks about him being a good partner and all… a lot… she just– Scylvia didn’t really talk to him specifically all that much. Mostly interacting with him when Cami was there or when she was in the cafe with the crew. They never really had just a one on one conversation. 

Well, Cami likes him a lot, so why was she expecting him to just… brush her off? Stupid.

“And– uhm…” She scratched at her nails as she tried to think.

“I thought I would feel… normal here.” Scylvia’s breath hitched as she managed to speak that aloud. Sam glanced at Scylvia before returning his attention to the street ahead, changing gears once more, taking a slower pace as the rain started to pour a bit more heavier.

The conversation fell into another lull. Scylvia brought up a new layer of herself, and she wanted– no, needed, to know if it was okay. If it was okay for her to talk about that.

Scylvia sighed as she really started to regret her decision.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t–” Scylvia muttered under her breath. A feeling akin to guilt, probably more like regret invaded her mind as she felt a familiar feeling of a lump in her throat. Oh fuck. Was she gonna cry?

“Hey, don’t apologize.” The car slowed down into a stop as another red light glowed in front of them despite the empty street. Sam took his hand off the gear stick and patted Scylvia’s back with a bit of hesitation. Slightly scared Scylvia would hate it or pull away. But surprisingly enough, she didn’t pull away. Just… accepted it. 

She was staring at her hand and Sam couldn’t help but notice how she was scratching her nails, chipping away pieces of her black nail polish absent-mindedly. As if in a trance.

“Like we– like I said. You’re free to talk to us, Cami, the crew, me… about anything. Like… anything at all.” He added, trying to get his words across. Unsure if Scylvia was actually able to process his words.

He  seems to be genuine. Scylvia thought as a small but gentle smile painted his face. Maybe… maybe it really wouldn’t hurt telling them. Or at least him and Cami.

I mean, they probably know some parts of it anyways. What was she scared for?

Scylvia sighed as her lips curled into a small smile. It felt weak, but it was still a smile nonetheless.

“I–” 

“Yeah.”

“Thank you.” She nodded, her eyes still staring at her hands that would not stay still.

The car started to move once again, and it only took a few counts before she saw her apartment building. 

“This is my stop.” 

“Oh– okay, do you want me to carry your stuff up-”

“–no it’s… it’s fine.” Scylvia interrupted, slinging her backpack onto her shoulder, opening the car door, and stepping out.

“Thank you for the offer though. And for the ride.” She said as she turned around, facing Sam directly. Genuinely grateful for all the help.

“Of course, it was no problem.” Sam nodded as he gave Scylvia a small thumbs up.

“And hey,” He cleared his throat before continuing. “I– we weren’t lying when we said you could lean on us.”

Scylvia hummed in acknowledgement.

“Thanks.” She smiled as she turned and walked to the entrance of her apartment building.

As she turned the doorknob and pushed the door of the apartment building open, she glanced back to the car, still parked in front. Waiting for Scylvia to fully get in the building. 

She waved at Sam a small goodbye before fully disappearing into the apartment building.

Sam sighed as he leaned back into his seat. 

“Damn.” He muttered as he changed gears. Heading right back into the cafe.