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The last day of October was approaching, and everything turned orange.
Everything!
Coffee shops and libraries were filled with orange decorations, the mall had orange balloons, and pumpkin cans were the first thing you saw at the supermarket. Even the cups were orange. Honestly, it felt like people themselves were turning orange.
Their clothes, of course. And sometimes the hair as well.
And he couldn’t forget about everything flavored pumpkin. Just like how Christmas seemed to have been associated with cinnamon, apple, and gingerbread, autumn was doomed to smell like pumpkin and spices.
He pulled her closer to him a second before she could be struck by a small group of students.
“Be more careful!”
She had been hypnotized by the city lights and the vibrant decorations, and she had stopped paying attention to the road or the people around her a long time ago. Their warmth and brightness reflected in her beautiful eyes.
“Sorry”, she murmured while slowly turning to him.
Happiness was written all over her features, and he swallowed hard.
“Just came closer, Bridgette.”
And she did. Their arms were brushing each other now, but it still didn’t feel like enough to him.
It was strange, he thought, and terrifying how much one person could affect you. How, until her, he didn’t crave this kind of closeness, both in body and mind.
Bridgette was stroking his hand with her thumb, humming a tune, lost completely in the vibrancy of the world. There were couples and groups of students, a few high schoolers, families with children, some small with their hands around their parents’ necks, and a few older ones jumping and asking too many questions.
This portion of the city had been decorated for fall for some time, with lights hung from every surface possible, different sizes of pumpkins at every corner, and a collection of strange dolls, from way too happy skeletons to comically weird dwarves.
This was the first night they managed to come.
“Look there, Felix! It’s a black cat with a witch hat!”
“Yes, I can see it.”
And yes, he didn’t care at all. In fact, he loathed the crowd, the noise, and the cold. The only thing that impressed him was the number of lights that the city council had managed to find. They could light up a few streets, and still have a few to use for something else.
Or they could use the money, you know, to do something useful.
But she wanted to come. And he wanted to make her happy.
“Can we go to the bookshop? That one that also has a café inside!”
That means a place full of books and warmth. Perfect!
“Of course!”
And Bridgette almost jumped out of happiness.
She was going to be the death of him, he thought, smiling.
He knew that from the moment she decided to take his hand for the first time when they were teenagers, and dragged him around the class for some stupid game.
He squeezed her hand.
“Yes?”
He could still remember how his heart was one step away from getting outside his chest, his skin burning hot under her touch. She had overwhelmed him with one simple gesture and frightened him like nothing else could.
Because it had awakened something in him. Something that he pushed down over and over again, until it was stuffed in the darkest corner of his mind, and she brought it back with just a touch. And it scared him. So, he did what he knew best at that time: run like a panic-stricken rabbit.
But luckily for him, Bridgette was not someone you could escape easily.
He didn’t have anything to say to her right now; he just wanted her attention on him. So instead of talking, he just kissed her.
The bookshop was a little less crowded than the streets. Still, it was a surprising number of people here. Felix was used to a quieter atmosphere where he could only hear the sound of pages turning and whispers.
Now, it was a full party in here!
“Are those Christmas books?”
Felix was feeling chills down his spine. And not the good kind. It wasn’t even November yet!
“A bit early, indeed”, answered Bridgette while she picked up one.
“Put that thing down!”
Bridgette giggled at his expression.
“Romance and Christmas, what can be better than this?” She said playfully. “And it has such a cute cover!”
“Murder”, he answered shortly.
She rolled her eyes and started to flip through the pages. Felix stood there, by her side, waiting.
And waiting.
And waiting.
God, he hated holidays! The essence of them got lost in the moment someone found a way to commercialize it. And those Christmas romance books made even an amazing author sound like a 12-year-old with a laptop and who watched too many Hallmark movies.
A sudden blush colored Bridgette’s cheeks, and she closed the book abruptly.
Oh, wait!
Now he was curious.
“What is it?”
“Nothing important, just something silly. You know the drill. Small town, family business, a widowed father, a child, and a bunch of cheesy moments. Nothing new!”
She was trying to drop the subject.
“Really? Then why are you blushing?”
He insisted, and her cheeks became redder.
“I’m not!”
She said that while stopping herself from almost bringing her hands to her face. Felix closed the distance between them, a few inches away from touching their noses.
“Yes, you are.”
She blinked rapidly, nervous.
Felix wasn't dumb. He knew very well what could be and what he was doing.
Her mouth opened and closed, and he got for a moment so distracted by that movement that he barely heard her speaking.
“It was a very passionate kissing scene under the mistletoe, that's all I’m going to say!”
She turned around, embarrassed, and Felix started to laugh.
“Maybe you should buy it then”, he said, smiling.
He knew she liked romance books. He had read some of them himself. For research purposes, of course.
It was hard not to; she giggled and kicked her feet so many times while reading them that he just had to know what exactly kind of happy pill was in them.
And it also helped him while writhing as well. Almost everything incorporated a love story these days, and he was far from a romantic person.
“No, no, too early for Christmas books.”
And fled with a speed worthy of a nurse from the wooden table.
Felix followed her with his eyes, the same he used to do when he was young. Back then, he had to hide it, always looking at her with a pretext or with an excuse, or use a book to hide himself while he stole glances.
He was the one pushing her away every time she came too close, but at the same time, he was always looking after her, yearning for attention. Looking back in this moment, he finds himself even more of an idiot than he remembered.
But now he was allowing himself to watch her, his eyes lingering on her silhouette while walking slowly behind her. Her dark hair cascaded over her back, falling in the waves formed by her braid. The brown long coat was slightly too big for her, hanging loosely on her body, her fingers barely visible from the sleeves.
“Look at this!” She gasped.
Bridgette picked a black velvet-covered book. Her fingertips gently traced the cover, admiring it.
“What is it?”
“A special edition!”
She sounded so enthusiastic.
“The Master and Margarita,” Felix read. Her favorite book. He knew that because she had read her beat-up edition of this book multiple times.
“Get it.”
It was a beautiful edition with illustrations inside and sprayed red edges. On the cover was a playing card with a black cat who appeared more like a grinning demon than the actual animal, fitting for the story.
Bridgette frowned and, to Felix's surprise, put it back on the shelf.
“Too expensive”, she murmured. “And I don’t need it. I have another edition.”
She grabbed his arm before he could say anything and dragged him far away from the book.
“Come, I saw some fun Halloween stuff beside the children's section.”
“Oh, no!” Felix thought, his eyes on the table with headbands with different ears and fake noses… And are those claws? Why were these things in the bookstore?!
Bridgette let go of his arm and started to pick stuff from the table, playing with them. She gestured for him to come closer, and he obeyed, aware that he was going to regret it, most probably by the mischievous look on her face.
“Here!” She said while putting a pair of black cat ears on his head, giggling. “You look adorable!”
“I doubt it.”
“Believe me!” And she messed his hair, beaming with joy.
“I’m not going to wear it.”
“Nobody says you have to”, she said while taking them off. “I was looking for something cute for tomorrow’s night shift. It’s Halloween, and we want to distract the children a little bit from being in a hospital, instead of eating candy and having fun with their friends.”
She chose another pair of ears, of a bear.
“Look, a teddy bear!” Felix laughed at her, and she pretended to growl, making her look even sweeter.
He wanted to squeeze her. But there's something else he should be doing.
“I’m going to let you choose your ears and go look for some books. Like all of us should, it’s a bookstore after all.”
She showed him her tough in response.
He slipped through a few teenagers laughing at something towards that special edition. Good job, he had chosen a backpack today.
The morning came way too fast for Felix's pleasure. He woke up alone in bed, Bridgette spot cold. Well, except for their cat, who was lying sleepily on the messy sheets. The furrball yawned and meowed.
“Good morning to you, too.”
He checked his phone. It was closer to lunch than morning. How much did he sleep?
Bridgette was in the kitchen, making coffee. She was with her back to him, her shoulders tensed. Always a bad sign. Felix wrapped his arms around her slowly, and she flinched a little before letting herself relax under his touch. He rested his chin on her shoulder, both of them watching silently the last drops of coffee coming from the espresso machine.
“What happened?”
She took one of his hands and started to draw circles on his palm.
“A boy's state got worse. He needs surgery.”
Felix tightened his grip on her. No matter how many times it happens, it will always take a toll on her. And he still couldn't get used to this type of sadness. When she decided to be a pediatric nurse, his heart stopped for a bit, knowing very well how this would affect her.
“The coffee is done.”
“I can see that,” he replied, slowly letting her go against his true wishes.
She poured the coffee carefully into their matching cups. Some of the things they bought last night were still here in the kitchen, including those silly ears and some sweets.
Felix selected the cat ears from the small pile and put them on, and turned to Bridgette, who almost dropped her cup.
“What are you doing?” She asked, confused, but clearly amused. Good.
An idea popped into his head, and he felt shivers down his spine from the awkwardness of it. Now or never, now or never, Felix.
“Meow!”
He’s going to regret this in the future when she brings it up in a random conversation at someone’s dinner.
Shock was her first reaction, then realization, which came slowly, torturing him. And then, finally, a smile that was only growing bigger and bigger.
That was the smile. The one that haunted him for years in his sleep, appearing in his dreams, making him anxious. For that smile, he will do anything. Even this!
She hugged him, laughing, her body warm and soft.
“It suits you”, she said with a chuckle.
“Ah, this is what I’m getting, mockery?”
“Oh, come here!”
And she pulled him by his shirt and kissed him. Felix could still feel her smile through the kiss, small giggles still coming from her. So, like any hungry man who hadn’t eaten his breakfast yet, he took the lead, a finger on her chin, nudging her to open her mouth.