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Max knows she brings it all on herself. If there’s anything she knows about herself, it’s that she can’t seem to back down from a fight – even when she really should.
Right now, her arm is throbbing and sore from her holder’s claws digging into her fragile skin when she tried to run away. Max is smart, but when her temper gets a hold of her, she tends to make stupid decisions.
Really, everything started when she woke up late today, got screeched at by her demogorgon holder, and was forced to eat the shitty leftover breakfast food because all of the good options had already been taken.
In the Upside Down Garden, simple inconveniences should not be enough to affect your decisions if you want to keep your life. Somehow, Max manages to walk that tightrope every time.
The only thing keeping her afloat is her singing voice, which she knows is one of the best of her peers. She’s constantly standing on the thin line between bad behavior and viewer potential.
It’s fucked up, allowing herself to view her worth to live based on whether or not the demogorgon population will enjoy her singing voice, but it’s the truth – at least in this life.
So, she’ll practice her singing until it’s perfect every time and her throat becomes sore, and she’ll scream and fight and take every ounce of the pain because she refuses to let go of the part of her that is incapable of holding her tongue. They might try to take everything away from her, but she won’t let them take that. Never that.
When Max is finally released into the garden for free time, she wanders past curious eyes and snickers, vision tunneling until she locates her group of friends splashing in the river water. Well, the boys were, at least. El was situated in the grass, fingers working carefully on crafting a flower crown of red anemones.
On any usual day, Max would run towards the water, grabbing El’s hand and dragging her into the chaos, and El would laugh along with her, free and joyful. But today was not a normal day, and Max wouldn’t be able to jump into the water without tainting it red – and she wasn’t in the mood to get in more trouble for that.
So, Max drops herself down to El’s side, peering curiously at her work. The crown is nearly finished – only a few stray flowers remained on the ground close to the brunette girl.
“Hi, Max.” El greets, smiling warmly at her. Throughout her time in the Upside Down Garden, Max found that nobody else exuded a warmth or innocence like El had.
Max has always envied El’s ability to appreciate the little things in life instead of dwelling on the suffering around them. Where Max would throw a fit after crying through a painful event, El would pick herself back up and plaster a smile on her face. Max couldn’t help but turn to her like the sun – and not the artificial light like the one in this garden – a real sun, like she imagines they had on earth.
“Hey, El.” Max responds warmly, “Who are you making that for?”
El finishes tying up the last end, and holds it up in front of her, examining it through the light. Then, she turns her head to Max. “For you – the color will go well with your hair, don’t you think?”
Max glances down at her long red locks – she supposes it would look nice. “Sure, why not.” She agrees, always willing to bend to El’s whims.
El giggles and carefully places the crown on Max’s head, humming with contentment. “It does look good. See your reflection.”
The two girls crouch over the surface of the water, and Max examines her reflection. It’s odd – seeing herself – since Max doesn’t often feel the urge to check on how she looks all the time. But right now, an odd feeling blooms in her chest while she looks at herself. The flower crown does complement her hair.
A splashing sound next to her breaks Max out of the trance she’d been under, and she startles as Lucas emerges from the water to look up at her.
“Max!” He exclaims excitedly, then he looks taken aback for a second as he seems to take her appearance in. Max shifts uncomfortably, but instead of a jab, he says, “Oh– wow. You look – pretty.”
“Right?” El agrees enthusiastically, “Red suits her.”
Max’s face heats up, and she’s lost on how she should respond. She rarely gets comments on her appearance, preferring to look rough and unapproachable at times. The thought of looking pleasing to the demogorgons always disgusted her, but here, within the safety bubble of her friends, it doesn’t seem so bad to be… pretty.
Before her struggle can become more apparent, she and El are getting splashed with the chill of cold river water. Max yelps, opening her eyes to glare at the perpetrator. She’s met with the sight of none other than Mike’s smug grin.
“Hey, asshole! Watch where you’re splashing!” Max shoves Mike back under the water.
He quickly resurfaces, coughing up river water and rubbing at his eyes irritatedly. Max feels a rush of pride flow through her body – deserved.
El giggles next to her as Mike recovers, glaring daggers at Max. “Are you trying to drown me?”
“Oh please, the river isn’t deep enough for that. You just love being dramatic.” Dustin trills, approaching the group with Will by his side.
“Oh really? I’m still able to swallow the water–” Mike starts, and he and Dustin break into a quarrel, pushing each other around in the river.
Will sighs and hauls himself out of the water to flop on the grass next to the girls. Lucas stays in the river, but presses himself closer to the grass to prevent himself from being caught in the crossfire of Mike and Dustin’s splashing squabble.
Max looks down at Will’s form, laid out starfish-style in the grass, eyes closed. “You okay?” Max asks dryly, and the boy opens his eyes to glance at her bandaged arm that probably already has spots of red bleeding through the fabric.
“Are you? What happened to your arm?” Will asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Nothing too bad happened, right? You’re not in a lot of pain?” Lucas asks, eyes flitting to Max’s arm nervously.
Max wraps a hand around the bandaged limb protectively. “It’s fine. Can we not talk about this?”
Lucas looks like he wants to say more, but Will cuts through with a sigh and closes his eyes again. “The flower crown looks nice on you.”
Max squints at him, “You can’t even see me with your eyes closed.”
“I saw it earlier – it looks nice.” Will retorts.
“I made the flower crown.” El adds proudly, breaking up the friendly tension between the two of them.
Will opens one eye to look over and smile warmly at El. “It’s really good.”
“Thank you.” El replies, content, then lowers herself onto her back and mimics Will’s sprawled out position.
Max raises an eyebrow at Lucas, conveying the message: What the hell is going on?
Lucas only grins and shrugs: That’s El and Will for you, he seems to say.
Their silent communication is broken by Mike whining, because of course Mike is whining.
“Willllll.” Mike drags himself out of the water and flops on the ground, left arm draped over Will’s chest and head resting on his arm.
The brunette boy opens his eyes and recoils, “Oh, seriously, Mike? You’re all wet.”
“You’re wet too. You only got out of the river a few minutes ago.” Mike argues.
“I was air drying.” Will sighs, but it’s clear he’s given in to Mike’s whims. Personally, if it were Max, she’d be considerably more peeved by Mike’s behavior, but there’s some nature of Mike and Will’s relationship that she knows she’ll never fully understand.
Dustin starts pulling Lucas further into the water, and El takes this moment to sit up and turn to Max. “Let’s go somewhere else. I feel like taking a walk.”
The red-head raises her eyebrows at the sudden shift, but agrees. Walking sounded better than sitting here and bystanding on whatever Will and Mike have going on.
The two of them stand and begin walking, following the path of the river that was meticulously crafted by the demogorgons to wrap around the entire garden. Despite the shit Max could talk about the creatures, she couldn’t help but admit their design skills. Even a completely artificial garden could look beautiful and serene, but the underlying tense atmosphere was hard to ignore if you remained inside too long.
El was quietly humming a song Max recognized – she noticed the brunette had been working on it for quite a while, and the melody became a familiar sound.
“How’s the song going?” Max questions, warmth blooming in her chest when she sees El’s face light up at the mention.
“It’s going really well! I was struggling with one verse, but I think I figured it out…”
Maybe Max should’ve been paying a little more attention to the words El was saying – and don’t be mistaken, she was saving bits and details to store in her memory for later – but it was hard to focus fully on her speech while she looked like… well, that.
Max has a soft spot for seeing people discuss what they’re passionate about. It could be the most mundane topic she’d ever heard, yet the way a person lights up and seems to glow when talking about something they clearly love makes Max want to sit down and listen to them chatter for hours on end. Especially El, with her wide brown eyes and wild gestures and infectious smile.
The two of them are walking so close, and if Max wanted to, she could easily reach out and hold one of El’s hands in hers and feel the warm skin beneath her own. And she almost decides to give in to the urge – to close the distance between their bodies and link their heartbeats together, hand in hand. However, something about doing that here, in the garden, felt too public. Anyone could pass by and find El and Max holding hands while walking together, El’s cheeks flushing pink as she rattles on about her newest song while Max stares, entranced by her light.
Max doesn’t entirely know why she hesitates – the act of holding one’s hand is quite innocuous, and she doubts anybody would look twice at the two girls if they saw them – but something about El made her feel like a move like that would be monumental. Something that needed to happen in private, where it could mean more – where others could not peer into the fragile existence of this growing warmth between them.
Her thoughts are interrupted by El’s mouth shutting closed, the constant flow of words ebbing into silence. Max blinks, glancing around to find they’ve wandered closer to the doors, and a demogorgon was leaning against the wall, seeming to peer interestedly at the two girls. El sidestepped into Max’s personal space, wrapping her arms around one of the red-head’s arms.
Well, that’s one way to close the distance, Max supposes.
Still, an unsettling feeling was in the air, and Max felt the sudden urge to run far away, back into the peaceful bubble where their friends were. However, if she truly were to run, it would be too conspicuous of a move, and if there’s one thing Max hates, it’s being viewed as a frightened, weak little girl. (Even though she is, in fact, frightened, weak, and little)
So Max nudges El forward, and they continue along their path with the river quickly, attempting to pass by the demogorgon without a scene. Fate could never allow them to be so lucky, though. The demogorgon closed in on them, and before she knew it, Max felt the grip of the demogorgon’s clawed hands tugging on her hair.
“Hey–! Let go!” Max yells, struggling to try to break the demogorgon’s grasp on her hair without actually touching his slimy claws. Fear was bubbling up inside of her, and her mind was screaming, DANGER! DANGER!
The demogorgon growled lowly, “What’s a pretty doll like you doing wandering around here? I could think of a way you’d be more useful than sitting around here…”
Max’s blood runs cold, and the attempts to pull her hair back become more frantic. She needed to get out of here, she needed to run, she didn’t care if she had to rip her hair out in the process–
“Let her go.” A startlingly calm voice demands, and Max looks back to see a dark expression has overcome El’s face. It was an expression she’d never seen on El before – something of the sort she would never even consider related to El’s character. Something about her voice had the ability to put a pause to both Max and the demogorgon.
“Run along, you useless child. You can’t do anything here.” The demogorgon growled, face opening up like a flower, and Max wanted to sink into the ground right there and never resurface.
She hated it, but she was scared. So, so, irrefutably scared.
“I said. Let. Her. Go.” El repeated, releasing Max’s arm and moving closer to the demogorgon.
“El– stop!” Max exclaimed, stricken with fear and worry for her friend. Nothing good would come of this – she could bear to see herself get hurt, but not El. Never sweet, caring, beautiful El.
But El did not heed her warning. “Let go of her right now.”
“Or what?” The demogorgon sneered.
El’s expression darkened impossibly more, and then she jerked her head to the right. Almost immediately, the demogorgon’s arm snapped away, breaking the grip on Max’s hair. Max stepped back in shock and realized the demogorgon’s arm was bent the wrong way as it screeched in pain.
Before Max could so much as blink, El raised one hand in front of her and screamed. The demogorgon was flung back into the wall, releasing an ear-splitting screech until it collapsed, unconscious.
Max was breathing unevenly, unable to process the emotional whiplash she’d gone through in the last few minutes. What the fuck had just happened? Did El just– do that?
El turns around, wiping blood dripping from her nose. Gone was the uncharacteristically dark expression, replaced with a look of concern, directed towards Max. “Max! Are you okay–?”
The brunette was unable to step forward further when a mass of demogorgons rounded the corner, seizing her and lifting her off the ground by her arms. “NO!” El nearly screeched, twisting and turning wildly in an attempt to break their hold on her.
Her attempts proved to be futile as the demogorgons began to unceremoniously drag her away. “EL! HEY– LET HER GO!” Max yelled, running forward to reach out for her friend. She only managed to get a few steps in before demogorgons were behind her, keeping her where she was as El was dragged further and further away.
“NO! NO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! STOP!” El screamed, and her sobs shattered Max’s heart into a thousand pieces of glass, tearing holes into her organs and causing internal bleeding.
Max’s sobs matched El’s as she struggled under the demogorgon's grasp. When she could no longer hear El’s voice, someone approached her slowly.
She looks up and her breath catches precariously in her throat when she finds herself face-to-face with none other than Vecna – the owner of the entire Demo-Stage competition itself.
Max has seen him before in passing, but his cold eyes and demeanor had caused her to speed by or turn around in an instant. He was dangerous and unforgiving, she’d heard. Whispers about his incredible power were passed all throughout the garden.
She never quite knew what to believe, and always tried to pry answers of the truth behind Vecna from Will, who had him as his holder. She soon learned that was not a good idea, if the way Will would tense up and refuse to speak to her for days after was any indication. She supposed that reaction was enough to tell her how terrible Vecna truly was, and she grew to feel an underlying worry for Will’s safety under Vecna’s ‘care.’
Will never seemed harmed outwardly – unlike Max with her constant wounds and bruises – but she supposes Will has always been better at complying to rules than Max had ever been. However, as she grew older, she started to suspect Vecna simply didn’t cause harm physically at all. No, she realized he must have been doing something to Will mentally as she observed how some days he would grow mute, unwilling to speak to anybody, or cling to Mike more often than usual. She could see it in the dread that shadowed over his eyes when it was time to leave the garden and go back to their rooms for the night.
Maybe nobody gives him enough credit, but Max knows how strong he truly is. Much stronger than herself. That’s why he’s the only kid in the entire Upside Down Garden that Max thinks could have survived this long – and will continue surviving – under Vecna’s watchful eye. That’s why right now, trapped under his dangerous gaze, Max quivers in fear.
“Max.” Vecna says slowly, in a terrifyingly deep voice. He knows who she is – oh, she’s so fucked. She’s so–
“You have shown great potential – something that is not worth getting rid of.” Vecna’s clawed hand brushes the side of Max’s cheek, and she lets out a strangled wheeze as her heart is racing with sheer, unbridled fear.
“Which is why I am choosing not to kill you.” He continues, and Max lets out a short sob as relief makes a miniscule dent in the terror present in her chest.
“But if you tell anybody what you saw just now, I will not hesitate to kill them, and I will not hesitate to kill you. Do you understand?” Vecna asks, and Max’s head nods up and down with frightening speed.
“Do. You. Understand?” Vecna repeats, and Max realizes he must be waiting for a verbal answer.
She hates herself for the speed in which she pushes out, “I understand. I understand. Please.”
Max doesn’t quite know what she’s pleading for. Maybe it’s for him to leave. Maybe it’s for him to let her go. Maybe it’s for him to bring El right back in so she can sob into her warm arms. Maybe it’s all three.
Either way, Vecna seems satisfied and finally backs away. The demogorgons holding her in place release their grip and Max crumbles to the ground like the pathetic mess she is.
“Good. There’s a few more hours of free time left.” Vecna finishes and saunters away, demogorgons following behind him.
Max hates herself. Max hates herself. Max hates herself. How can she be so stupid – so weak? How could she let them take El away like it’s nothing? How could she cave so quickly in fear?
She was a fraud, a sham. She thought she was strong – spoke her mind? Apparently only under low-stress situations. When she needed to most, she froze in terror.
Max sobs and rips the flower crown out of her hair and tears it apart. All of El’s hard work crumbled before her. Suddenly she thinks she hates the color red. She hates being pretty. She hates being alive in this cruel reality.
Unable to stay here any longer, Max stands up and runs in a random direction, unthinkingly sprinting through the grass until her legs and lungs burn painfully. She deserves this pain – it must be nothing compared to whatever torture El is going through right now – sweet, kind El.
After what feels like hours and mere minutes at the same time, she crashes into another body and tumbles to the floor. Max is gasping for air, breathing hard and unevenly as Lucas pulls her upright with open concern crossing his features.
“Max! What happened? Are you okay?” Lucas asks with worry, holding her upright by the shoulders.
But Max can’t breathe, can’t speak, can’t do anything. Lucas must have picked up on this fact, because he cups her face into his palms and leans closer, letting their foreheads touch.
“Breathe with me, Max. Okay?” He asks, then begins a slow inhale and exhale pattern.
Max is grateful for the availability of something singular to focus on as compared to her racing thoughts and emotions. She centers in on Lucas’ slow breathing, trying to match it as best she can.
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
After what feels like forever, Max finally manages to calm down her breathing, and she feels a lot less like her head is about to explode.
“You okay?” Lucas gazes earnestly into Max’s eyes.
The absurdity of it all causes Max to laugh like a maniac – insanely. “That’s a loaded question.” She responds, then wraps her arms tightly around the other boy.
Lucas seems startled for a moment, but quickly melts into the embrace, squeezing her just as tightly in response. Despite the fact that the pressure should’ve been making it harder to inhale air into her lungs, she felt like she could finally relax again in his arms. It felt safe. It felt like home.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Lucas asks gently, squeezing her reassuringly.
If you tell anybody what you saw just now, I will not hesitate to kill them. Vecna’s words ring in her mind. Even though Max wanted nothing more to tell everything to Lucas – her emotions, her shock, her confusion, her weakness – knowing he would never judge her but instead make her feel heard, known – she couldn’t do that to him. She couldn’t put him in such immediate danger. She had to keep the secret of… whatever powers El had that made her capable of overpowering a demogorgon.
So her voice breaks as she admits, “I can’t.” She begins to choke up again into another sobbing session, but Lucas rubs circles into her back comfortingly.
“Okay, it’s okay, it’s okay.” He whispers, and Max drops her face into the crook of his neck.
By the time Max finally calms down again, soothed by Lucas’ calming presence and the circles rubbed into her back, she breaks apart the embrace quickly as an idea pops into her head. Lucas is startled and Max would send him an apologetic grin if she weren’t so laser-focused on the task at hand.
“I need to cut my hair.” Max states abruptly, and the severity of her voice manages to diminish any amusement Lucas may have gained from the sudden change in topic and mood.
“You need to– oh, okay. Um, I have a– This could work?” Lucas obtains a small knife from his pocket, and Max stares down at the item in surprise.
“You’ve been carrying around a pocket knife… this entire time?” Max asks, utterly bewildered.
Lucas smiles and scratches the back of his neck sheepishly. “Well, I came across it a few weeks ago and thought it might come in handy. I haven’t gotten caught so far.”
Max can’t help the smile that crosses her face. “You never stop surprising me, stalker.”
Lucas laughs softly at the nickname – one that Max had coined for him from the very first few days in the garden, when Lucas would watch her all the time – wanting to be friends but afraid to approach her.
“So, uh. Do you want to do this?” Lucas asks, extending his hand with the knife out to her.
Max blinks and nods, taking the blade from his hand and holding it up to see the shiny metal reflect the light. “Yeah, I do.” Max confirms, then grabs a chunk of her hair and saws it off in one swipe. Red locks scatter to the floor, and Lucas’ eyes grow wide.
“Well, I guess that’s one way to do it.” Lucas comments, and Max can’t help but laugh deliriously. Her head feels lighter, like dead weight had been lifted off of the shoulders.
“Does it look bad?” Max questions when her laughing fit ends, peering up inquisitively at Lucas.
He cringes slightly, “Kind of.”
Max hums and closes her eyes happily. “Good.”
“Oh! Uh– yeah. Good, I guess.” Lucas agrees, then fiddles nervously with the grass for a second before adding, “But, uh– would you want me to, like, even out the ends a bit?”
Max opens her eyes and considers. The idea of looking deranged to others did make her momentarily happy, but by the time her demogorgon holder saw her hair, he’d surely get her in trouble and cut it evenly himself, so she doesn’t ruin the ‘viewer potential.’ But if she let Lucas, who she trusts and is comfortable with, do it first, then it won’t be so bad.
Max grins at Lucas, “Yeah.”
“Yeah?” Lucas echoes back, seeming surprised by her response.
“That’s what I just said. Are you gonna do it or are you going to wait for me to change my mind?” Max tilts her head and revels in the momentary panic that seems to take over Lucas.
“No– yeah! Let me just–” He picks the knife off the floor and moves so he’s settled behind her. Gently, oh so gently, he grabs a portion of her hair and starts methodically chopping sections off until they’re all even. Max closes her eyes and allows herself this comfort – the tranquility of the garden and the feeling of Lucas carefully cutting her red locks.
After what was too short for Max’s liking, Lucas backs away and settles in front of her again, appraising his work. He nods, smiling to himself. “There, it looks better.”
Max lifts her hand up and runs her fingers along the ends of her hair, much shorter and closer to her ears than ever before. She grins to herself – it felt nice to be free of the burden.
However, her face falls and Lucas notices, eye crinkling slightly in concern. Max glances away from his worried face and looks at a tall tree providing shade for the two of them.
“Lucas, do you think I’m weak?”
Max can practically feel the surprise that she’s sure Lucas is portraying on his face, though she doesn’t look at him.
“Max, why would you ever say that? You’re the bravest, strongest person I know!” Lucas responds, and Max can feel how he believes what he’s saying.
The bravest person Max knows? She’d definitely not consider it to be herself. Will would probably be at the top, and El had to be added to her list after the events of today. Even Mike might be on that list above her, with all of his impulsive willingness to jump in front of people, putting himself foolishly in harm’s way. But Max? No, all she can do is throw a fit and freeze up when people need her most.
“I don’t think I am.” Max states sullenly, crossing her arms as if to protect shield herself from the look she knows Lucas must be giving her.
“Max, look at me.” Lucas says, and she only manages to last about thirty seconds of silence before she turns to face him.
“You are the strongest person I know, and it’s not because you win all of the time. It’s because even when you lose, even when you get hurt, you’ll come right back the next day and do it again – get hurt again – just because you never let go of what you believe in.”
Max feels the prickle of tears starting to form in her eyes, but she can’t look away – not when Lucas is looking at her like he means every word.
“Sometimes I feel like giving up, succumbing to the shitty hand we’ve been dealt. But I don’t, because I remember how you would never allow yourself to. You might fall down, but you always, always stand back up, and you don’t let them change you. You don’t let anyone change who you are, and that gives me the strength to never lose sight of who I am. So yes, you are the bravest person I know, because you’ll face anything again and again, no matter how hard they try to crush you. What’s more brave than that?”
Now, Max is fully crying again, and she wraps her arms around Lucas, mumbling, “They took her – they took El, and I couldn’t do anything to stop them.”
Lucas squeezes her back, pausing to soak in the new information for a moment before responding, “It’s okay. You won’t always be able to stop everything, but El is strong, like you. She’ll be okay, and then you’ll be here for her. You’ll be here – because you always are. You always are.”
Max cries into Lucas’ shoulder, comforted by his presence and the feeling of coming home. Maybe everything has gone to shit – maybe it always has been from the start – but at least they all have each other. All six of them – Max, Lucas, El, Dustin, Mike, and Will – have managed to find a home within each other – somewhere they can belong. Max thinks that somewhere in the world, there must be a word for it – this feeling of love that she feels for her friends.
But for now, she’ll settle with the feeling of home, of comfort.
(Maybe in the future, she’ll learn the word family)