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How many times does a person need to get through a time loop for them to be considered non-human?
Lloyd wondered to himself as he stared blankly at the elegant lady who was awkwardly sitting across from him.
“Young Master, are you alright? You look rather pale.”
Her voice is warm but distant, just enough to be polite but not warm enough to be anything, just like one would to a co-worker.
“Hm.. yeah.”
Lloyd answered lazily as he stood up and made his way to his room, not even bothering to look back. He has made up his mind, the night he walked past the pub, he will never return.
But there he is, back at the manor.
He didn’t walk back, in fact, he doesn’t know how he is back, or why he is back in this current time and location.
He is back, back to the suffocating manor, back to the place that he least wants to be, back to the time he feels most humiliated.
He is back to the day before his disappearance.
====================
Knock, knock.
“Young Master?”
Lloyd physically flinched, he hated his voice the most.
“What do you want?”
“The Lord and Lady would like to gently remind you that tonight you will be having dinner with the Count and Young Lady Namaran.”
Lloyd flinched once more. He had experienced that dinner before, calling it a dinner feels like a joke, he couldn't even taste a single lick of the food before his appetite was kicked and beaten down on the floor, he doesn’t want to do it, he really doesn't want to. Each second spent there felt like a twist to a knife.
“Don’t be scared, I have done this before.”
Lloyd tries to reassure himself, he can’t really escape now, he hasn't really hatched a plan, he is a passive leaf that is carried by the river’s course, he could refuse, but he doesn’t see a point to it.
“Don’t be scared, I have done this before.”
He said once again, trying to reassure himself.
“Did you say something, Young Master?”
“FUCK!”
He really hated that voice.
Why can’t he just leave me alone???
“I said YEAH! Fuck off, what are you doing standing in front of my door like an idiot, for?”
Silence fell for a second before Lloyd heard Javier’s footsteps leaving.
Fuck..
He can barely breathe, he really doesn't want to face the same humiliation again.
Fuck…
He hasn’t eaten anything, but he already feels like throwing up.
Hey.. maybe it will be better this time.
Lloyd tries to reassure himself again, his body is sweating bullets.
He knows the words that will be spoken for, he wouldn't need to feel so shocked like he did before.
Maybe he is stupid, maybe be he is dumb, but one thing for sure, he is foolish enough to believe in that baseless hope.
Once again he is insulted, and once again he excused himself early, once again, he heard how the laughter suddenly got livelier the moment he leave, once again he walk past the pub, and once again, he is back, facing the same elegant lady that definitely deserves someone way better than him.