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How many days had passed there already? How many nights went by in the same, melancholic way, overwhelmed with a cold, dreadful feeling? He didn't know, Joseph had lost count of how much time he spent alone with his demons – the more he tried to fight them, the more they'd grow on him, planting their sinful seed deep in him.
It was just another dead night for him, nothing had really changed in one or two weeks, his mind was still counting down like a clock for the big event – his death. It still seemed so inevitable to him, why did it? Everytime he stumbled in his training that feeling grew bigger in him, that could have been it – never he had arrived to the point of considering himself a walking corpse before, though.
A dead night, and sleep came even less to him than usual – just spasming while laying in his so called bed, that's all he did, grasping the sheets every now and then, sighing loudly, trying to hide from the world in a mere and simple blanket, he knew it wouldn't have worked anyway.
The air was so heavy, he felt a knot in his throath, a pain is his chest – maybe the rings were trying to choke him to end his pity in a faster way instead of waiting for the day they had set. No, it was just a feeling of angst: in the dead of the night, Joseph was overthinking again – how could he be blamed for it? Cohabiting with the grim reaper wasn't a pleasant feeling, the reactions and symptoms he only showed in his lonely nights were more than normal – because he never once dared to do it out in the light of the day, the one he wouldn't have seen again. Why bring futile worries to someone who's completely stranger to the question? He didn't want pity from the ones close to him at the moment, absolutely not. Guiltiness above all: what dragged him in the chasm was an attempt to save his friend after all, what if he felt responsable for his malaise? It was just an unfortunate event, that's it, and he would have payed for his arrogance, he thought.
It was probably 3 am, and the feeling won't go away – Joseph had no tears to shed, no screams to sream, he was empty, but good at masking it, wedding rings the only thing to stuff him. Rolling in his bed persistently, it made a remarkable squeaky noise, along with he sighs he's sometimes let escape, long and hopeless ones. Maybe he was calming down at the very end, but sleep didn't seem to want to come to him anyway – tired as he was, eyebags were circling the humid eyes that were now staring into nothing out of the window. Deep breaths one after other, he realized he might have been too loud hearing some footsteps wondering around in the near distance, someone probably woke up – but it was fine, he would just pretend to be asleep and no trouble would be made. So his eyes closed, he tried to focus on something else, making his sleep look legitimate – so legitimate he hadn't noticed the hand who brushed his side at first, he was too busy faking it again.
" Joseph. "
The name echoed in the emptiness. A jolt and he turned around hearing his name called, curious of who it could have been, but the voice gave it away.
" Sleep already, please. "
The tone sounded serious and somewhat worried, but rather warm enough to bring some heat to him as he heard.
" You'll be fine, I swear. "
Warmth of a human body approached him, the hand that was stroking his side had leaned on it to push himself onto the bed.
" So sleep already, I'm by your side. "
Quietly and gently, arms wrapped around Joseph's back pulling him in a sweet embrace – legs followed too, drawing over his shaky knees. Would the ring burst from the too much palpitation of his heart? For a moment, Joseph shivered.
" Caesar. "
He turned around to meet an emerald gaze glowing in the darkness, his hands reaching for it to stroke the pink birthmarks placed right under.
" Could you stay a little longer? "
Joseph's voice came out faint, his whole body trembling being held by the other's arms – their faces interwined perfectly in each other's shoulder indent.
" I'll stay forever. "
Caesar's thumbs traced circles on Joseph's back, holding it tight to himself, his face was now buried in the other's chest.
" You won't die, I won't allow it – it's a promise. "
His thoughts were like pages of an open book for Caesar, even though understanding wasn't hard now – the hug tightened again, Caesar could feel Joseph's burdened heart beating wild in his chest.
" I told you to sleep, did I. "
A reassuring chuckle escaped his lips as he stroked Joseph's hair, who looked more and more spaced out and lost in a dreamy realm: a stable, deep breathing made his chest raise and lower, his forehead was pressed to Caesar's softly so that his breath would blow him gently.
In a passionate hug, Joseph fell asleep, both of them had drifted their minds away from the real world running off together for a while, just the two of them.
Caesar took care of Joseph til the last second he was awake, using sweet caresses to bring the other one a peaceful sleep – he managed to whisper something to his ear before following him in the world of dreams —
" Buona notte, principe mio. "