Work Text:
*after the Japan U-20 vs Blue lock match*
Everything went passed quickly, the match..it doesn't felt like anything to Rin. it all felt..too quick. It felt like he was dreaming, seeing his team win? feels like a dream. Seeing his brother? feels like a nightmare. His OWN brother won't even acknowledge him, but acknowledge his teammate, isagi instead. It irritates him so much, they used to share a dream together..only to be shattered. Shattered and not even after care..just abandoning it.
Rin saw Sae on the way to their parents house (yes Rin still lives with his parents obviously) and that time Rin was still pissed so he's forced to hangout with the others for a while..till eventually Sae leaves.
Temporarily or permanent.
Finally the day is getting darker, wind is colder, Rin thought Sae already left japan and head back to spain already..cause why would the hell his brother stay here more than a few days? His brother abandoned him and will do it again..So Rin eventually just open the front door, drank some water and slowly head upstairs.
He opens his bedroom door, it was surprisingly dark. But it's weird..when he left the house his room lights was open, his curtain was open..so why is it closed?
"Tch. Did 'he went into my room?...ill fucking kill him..."
The anger floods back in Rin's mind, his left hand aggressively finding the light switch before turning it on....
Oh.
A familiar body hanging in front of him...a rope wrapping around the neck of a magenta hair man..
....dead..tired teal eyes...
starring at the ground...
"...S..Sae....-?"
Rin's eyes has never been opened this widely...well used to, when he saw his brother shooting a amazing goal when they were young. Now only ended up starring at a hanging man...in front of him.
It was his brother. No doubt. It's him.
Rin couldn't process anything....just frozen in time..starring at a hanging body..being entirely useless. Hell, he couldn't even cry, he wants to, he wants to cry.. he wants to hug his brother...shake him up..scold him...hoping all is a prank. Even though his brother never done any pranks at all.
finally..god decided to finally help him. his consciousness finally comes back, immediately rushing to his 'tall' brother.
"Sae-!!"
Rin struggled, struggle to untie the rope from his neck, his tears were rushing, hell, even breathing for him is hard right now. His fingers tries to untie the rope..but keeps making the knot tighter. He silently screams at himself for being so useless..so utterly clumsy...literally..'half baked'....
Finally the knot is loosen, Sae's neck is finally loosen from the rope...
....does it actually save him? I don't think so.
"Oni chan-!! wake..up!!!! this is not a funny prank!! "
He violently shakes the cold body, no movement were seen, his eyes were starring coldly to Rin...as if blaming him that his death...is all Rin's fault.
The little brother kept shaking and shaking....desperately screaming and shouting....he couldn't even get himself to call the ambulance.....what if they seperate him with Sae again? what...if they...
Will they never see each other again?
Will it happen again?
Will Sae just abandon him again?
Poor Rin...hes too young for this..seeing his brother....dying in his arms..while the only thing he can do is cry desperately.
After hours of cries....desperate screams and shouts...turns into helpless whimper....he finally gets himself into calling the ambulance...
A few minutes later, the paramedics knocking the door hard, but Rin couldn't even get himself up to answer the door..just kept clinging the cold body. Waiting...and waiting..
until the paramedics bang down the door and immediately start searching the house. Until they found Rin clinging his dead brother body....
Eventually everything were messy. Itoshi parents eventually found out and have been crying for days and weeks..but Rin? hes just...starring....as if..he doesn't want to live anymore. He skipped football training, barely eat..or go to school. He avoided everything, even socials..phone...parents..everything.
*a week after*
Rin avoided sleeping in his room like a plague, sleeping in the guest room instead. But he misses his room..alot...his brother trophy..rewards all are there. He couldn't even think properly before his heart led him into that room.
His hands...were shaking on the door knob....before slowly twisting it and open it.... a cold...dark room...a bed that he used to share with his brother.....
a table that all his brother's trophy and award are at....
he slowly took a step to the table....before taking a deep breath and...took the picture albums...
Fuck. why did he do that? Hes tearing up again. He really is half baked...thats what Sae would say.
Rin couldn't control his tears..he kept flipping the albums pages...one by one....The picture where he and his brother caught their first fish... ....Picture where fell over his birthday cake and his older brother laughed at him.....
Every picture kept reminding him more and more memories...and it's so suffering cause...his hatred for him is STILL there..but....he just couldn't get himself to fully hate on his own older brother....he loved him.
He kept on flipping and flipping until he sees a note....he hesitate at first..before taking it and opening it.
...big mistake.
Rin's tears flood even more and more...throwing the paper immediately and crashed out...it was..
Sae's suicide note.
"Hey Rin. I'm sorry that I had to do this. I had no choice anymore. Everything is so..tiring. Chasing that useless dreams of mine? I gave up. Turns out there's someone so much more talented than me They even tell me to do it. So why shouldn't I? I found no purpose. But you. I believe you still have a purpose. Chase that dream of yours. When I'm dead. Take my nintendo 64, it's your favorite isn't it? we used to play Mario cart on it. and you always beat me on it. Please keep living for me alright? tell mom and dad that I wished them well. Please don't follow the same path as me. it's lukewarm. Goodnight Rin."