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Language:
English
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Published:
2025-10-26
Updated:
2025-10-26
Words:
1,022
Chapters:
1/?
Kudos:
2
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44

The son of sparda needs to be taught how to live..

Summary:

After the accounts of DMC V, the Sparda twins return from the underworld—not wanting his brother to feel left out, Dante tasks (forces) the rebellious demon Abigail with the task of guiding Vergil on fitting in human society 101.
As the saying goes, the blind leading the blind.

there are supposed to be doodles at the end of each chapter, but i currently am unable to do that (⁠╯⁠°⁠□⁠°⁠)⁠╯⁠︵⁠ ⁠┻⁠━⁠┻

Notes:

abigail!!! from the hit show devil may cry anime!!!!! we all cheered!!!!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: gas gas gas (im gonna step on the gas)

Chapter Text

The sunlight shines past her face as the window curtains slide ajar. “And here I thought Dante was lazy!” In an urgency, Patty shakes Mona awake, jolting while rubbing her eyelids, sitting up as she groans from the sudden interruption.

Apparently being in a state of deep sleep still had taken a toll on her, since the bed was practically calling her name to rest her head again. "Can't you use the public transport yourself…? You’re 18, Patty… and I need my beauty sleep,” and sweet temptation takes over; she doesn’t even begin to think about the consequences of oversleeping to her body later, covering her head with a soft pillow.

“Touché…but I didn’t get to buy a ticket because you forgot to pay yesterday,” she huffs, clearly not enjoying this whole spectacle. “Hey—hellooo! Are you even listening to me?” Mona’s bed creaks as Patty’s internally debating whether or not it’s morally correct to douse her caretaker with ice-cold water, and that impulsive side of hers is starting to look like a logical solution in her eyes; though shaking said caretaker’s bed seemed to be a less taxing solution.

“Wake up, you old lady!” Even though she was whisper-yelling, it was persistent and loud enough to eventually wake up Nico, who was tossing and turning in her bed.

“Quit yipping and just pull her goddamn quilt off her already! You’re waking me up.” Wasting no time, Nico reaches for Mona's bed.

Much like when the Devil May Cry office’s rent was overdue, her peaceful state was interrupted by Nico pulling her blanket; she shivered when the cold morning air hit her skin. “Since when did the dorms get so darn cold…!” The wooden floor creaks as Mona finally gets up from bed, opening a wardrobe to reach for her towel.

Patty began berating her as she walked to the bathroom, “You promised you’d go to Redgrave with me! Mona, we’re late!” The ride to the other city might take up the whole evening if they took public transport. If Patty would end up being like a wet sock the whole ride, Mona might feel a tinge of guilt for not being able to fulfill a promise, “Sorry, sweet cheeks... I’ll make it up to you, tell you what…how about taking the scooter there? So go get your helmet; I’m way too lazy to buy a ferry ride.”

 

Kyrie’s home cooked meals had always filled the air with a familiar scent of warmth, even more so after stepping out of a cold shower when someone had hogged all the hot water. “Good morning, Mona,” even when her eyes were attentive to the boiling pot on the stove, Kyrie greets her. “I’m guessing you’re heading to Redgrave, with Patty?” humming, she pulls out the old wooden chair that shrieks against the floor; she leans into her hand, propping up her head to face Kyrie. “Yeah, Dante’s coming back, and I’ve gotta do some maintenance anyway,” Her words trail off as Nero, who sat beside her was flipping between channels on the TV to find something to watch as he gobbled down something that definitely was the day-old chicken wrap he forgot to eat.

The stupid sound of constant switching between news anchors was seriously bothering Mona. “You’ve got a serious screen addiction; it’s like seeing an 18th-century snob eating while a jester entertains him,” she sighed while reaching for a piece of toast; plating it alongside a jiggly half-boiled egg. Nero whirled around mid-chew; cheeks stuffed full, he honestly looked like a squirrel with acorns in its mouth. “Mfh—hold on—” he raised his hand through incoherent muffles of arguments, but his words got cut short as Nico yanked the remote controller from his grubby chicken wrap sauce hands. “Got a screen addiction and a trash taste in YouTube videos to put on? I seriously thought we had influenced you better.”

Nero grumbled as he began to focus on the screen instead of pointlessly arguing at 8 in the morning. ‘Redgrave city rebuilds six months later after massive catastrophe.’ It's more like a destructive demonic qlipoth, but for a less cynical headline it held up on its own. The article goes on about urban reconstruction efforts—why are they even putting an effort into rebuilding? That demonic playground would go bankrupt in a few years or so. It’s probably just late stage capitalism finally settling in; still better than having to deal with small sized demon cults starting in someone's front lawn.

In any case, Mona should really begin their ride to Redgrave—that decrepit building and its overdue need of maintenance isn't going to welcome anyone else with open arms. Especially not after the power’s cut off. STANKY!!!!

She scrambled to stand up and help herself to the kitchen sink, cleaning off her utensils when Patty shouted her name from outside. Her keys jingled as she struggled to put on her helmet and key in the scooter, the engine rattled as Patty hoisted herself up at the back. “Here’s the list of decorations to buy,” she slips the note in the pocket of Mona’s overalls while she was wrapping her arms around Mona’s waist for safety.

“Ya ready?” She can feel Patty nodding on her shoulder, giving her the signal to hit the road.

 

For four grueling hours they were travelling on the highway, which mostly consisted of frequent toilet breaks due to Mona’s high water intake—the fact that it could have been a faster trip irritated Patty a little, yet regardless, they came to the front of the Devil May Cry office in order for Patty to organize the Sparda sons’ return.

Patty was dropped off with all her cleaning items alongside her. “Make sure you find the prettiest decorations!” Throwing a thumbs up, Mona went along on her merry way onto the next destination: the dreaded supermarket. Which… isn’t as bad as how Mona likes to make it be. She just isn’t a fan of going shopping alone; usually she’d be accompanied by Nico, but now all she has is a list of things to check off.

Notes:

lmk what you think of this.. im not really a writer myself