Archive of Our Own ^beta

Jungkook was tense. He squirmed in his seat like a prisoner waiting for a verdict. You held back a sigh, trying not to tear up right there in front of him.

“ Why ?” You asked putting down the divorce papers. The reason didn’t really matter, you might not even wish to know, fearing what he was to say.

“ I found someone else ” He smiled involuntarily, further breaking your heart, remembering her “ Someone I love ”

“ It looks like it will rain tomorrow ” you looked away, shrugging when tears betrayed you, staring out the window at the gray sky. It felt like the world was laughing at you.

“ Y/N … ” He sighed hurrying you up with his nervous tone.

“ Fine, I’ll do it ” Your eyes snapped back to him, the tears flowing onto your cheeks “ I’ll sign them ”

You saw his expression lighten like a small child. The prisoner was finally free.

“ Thank you, Y/N ” He breathed out in relief, grinning “ So much ”

Jungkook wasn’t even apologetic, you thought how much have you been trapping him that he would be this glad to get rid of you ?

“ But I have one condition ” You cut his joy short with a stern tone, trying your best to switch off your emotions. At least until he wasn’t there. He frowned but nodded anyways, ready to do anything for you to sign. “ For the next month, you have to hug me once each day ”

“ What ?” He hunched putting his elbows on the table “ Are you serious ?”

“ Don’t you want me to sign ?” You threateningly pushed the papers away from you but he was quick to stop you whispering a choked Okay.

Just how desperate was he ? You chuckled, wiping away your tears as you peered at his signature. The ink already dried on his name, on the divorce.

Day 1;

The next day, you heard the key turn and the door open. You shifted in your bed to read 5 AM on the bedside clock.

Before this, it was always work and you blindly believed him. However, you were now sure that it had never been that. For the past six months, ever since this started happening, he had been cheating on you.

Maybe if you stopped him the first day he came home at 3 AM with the scent of alcohol all over him. Maybe if you stopped him.

The door to your room creaked and you swallowed back a sob, pretending to be asleep when he quietly whispering your name. Pretended to be asleep when he made the couch his new bed. Pretended it didn’t feel cold without him there on the bed with you. Pretended to be okay with all of it.

After work, you found him sitting at the same table calmly sipping his coffee. You were about to vent out the frustration of the day when you remembered. He wasn’t yours anymore, you weren’t allowed to anymore.

You looked at him, oblivious to your presence, how annoying has it been for him to listen to your continuous rambling everyday ? How annoying has it been for him to put up with being with you when he wanted someone else ? How troublesome would it have been for him to say “ I love you too ” every time ?

“ You’re home ” He finally acknowledge you, momentarily peeking up at your from his laptop before closing it and standing up. You were snapped back to reality, blinking at him before dropping your bag.

“ Hug me ” You just said and he, although hesitant, did just that. Jungkook pulled you into his arms one hand on your back and the other petting your hair like he would always do.

“ Y/N-”

“ Don’t say anything ”

The two of you stood there for what felt like forever while you squeezed your eyes shot to keep you from crying. Saving it to when you were alone in your bed again to let the tears comfort you to sleep.

Day 2;

On the second day, you weren’t so able to hold back like the first time. You broke down in his arms when you realized that his scent wasn’t mixed with yours anymore but with someone else’s.

“ I’m sorry ” He whispered into your ear, his hands slowly stroking the length of your hair, feeling the vibrations from your whimpering.

“ How could you do this to me ?” You stuttered between sobs, helplessly trying to hold onto his shirt. Onto him.

“ I’m sorry ” Jungkook reapeated again “ I really am ”

“ Sorry doesn’t cut it ” You finally pushed him away, leaving a wet spot on his shoulder from minutes of continuous crying, and turned away “ You can go to her now ”

He didn’t say anything just left.

You sunk into the couch looking around the house. It was over, your happiness with him, you just didn’t to let it go just yet. Or ever.

Day 6;

It came more naturally, as natural as this could get, maybe even as routine. As soon as you would come home, usually later than him, he would silently welcome you with a loose hug.

“ Remember the first time we hugged ?” You asked, hugging him back.

“ When I confessed to you ” He smiled against the side of your head. How could he smile ?

“ I didn’t think you would like me back ”

“ I didn’t think I would be divorcing you five years after either ” You shrugged, unhooking your arms from around him.

“ Y/N, I’m-”

“ Don’t apologize ” You stepped away “ I don’t want to hear it ” I don’t want to cry today.

“ I never wanted to hurt you ” Jungkook’s arms lingered  towards you for a moment before he stepped back as well.

“ Then you wouldn’t have cheated !” You yelled back at him, taking him by surprise, “ That did not only hurt me, Jungkook, it -”

“ I know …. I know ” He reached for you you again but stopped when you responded by moving away.

“ No, You don’t know ”

Day 12;

“ I understand what you’re saying !” Jungkook yelled back into the phone “ It’s her way of saying good- no she’s not trying to pull me back ”. there was a silence. You figured that he was talking to her and just stayed quiet.

“ Don’t talk about her like that !” He sounded frustrated and, foolishly, you let a little pride swell up from him standing up for you before you remembered that it was his mistress he was talking to.

You pushed the door closed loudly, making your presence known.

“ Let’s talk later ” His voice calmed down, with slight panic when he saw you “ I love you too ” He whispered but it was still audible to you.

Your heart skipped a painful beat and the familiar lump formed in your throat. You wanted to just turn around and get out of the house again. But no, you had to face this, for the sake of being able to move. Even if you didn’t wish to move on.

“ Was that her ?” You quietly put down your car keys and bag, ridding yourself of your coat. He nodded turning to phone over on the table.

“ Tell me what kind of person she is ” You buried your face into his chest, cursing yourself for always asking questions you didn’t want an answer to.

“ She … Hmm … Just perfect for me ?” His smile was wider, brighter, than when he has talked about you.

“ I thought I was perfect for you ?” You snorted, laughing slightly, before tapping his side for him to let you go and he did so too easily. That day you left first, getting in your car and randomly wandering around the deserted streets like a stray dog. It damn felt like you were.

He went to her. As he always did. It made her feel insecure, knowing he was hugging you and being closer to you. It made her feel like you were trying to steal back what she had won from you. So, she did the only thing she could give him.

Jungkook senselessly pounded into her like every night except that it was bare of all emotions. Your words resonated inside his brain with each thrust into his moaning lover. He started to question his decision. He looked down at her, expression filled with euphoria. It wasn’t like yours, it wasn’t like when he was with you.

Was it love he felt for her or was it just the excitement she made him feel on the first night ?

“ Y/N” He moaned loudly as he came, loudly and unconsciously, collapsing down on her body.

“ What the hell, Jungkook ?” She pushed him away sitting up.

“ What ?” He caught his breath, supporting himself on his elbows. Oblivious.

“ Why are you calling her name when you’re balls deep into me ?” She scoffed standing up to put her clothes on.

“ Babe … wait ” Why was I ? He staggered and she laughed.

“ I told you not to fucking do it ” She was gradually getting angrier, her voice rising “ She’s affecting you !”

He followed, stopping her before she reached the door, and embracing her “ Please, just give it a little more time.”

“ Just leave ” She stepped away “ I’m not in the mood anymore ”

Was it always just the sex ?

When he went back home at his usual 5AM you weren’t there. He panicked for a moment, thinking something might have gone wrong, the feeling of possessiveness inside him coming to life. Is this how it felt for you everyday ? He asked himself, wondering if you were with anyone in the back of his head.

Jungkook had too many questions left unanswered.

Day 20;

Instead of driving straight home you decided to go somewhere you could think. 10 Days. A mere 10 days was all you had left with him. You wished it would be more. Even though he cheated, and continues to do so, even though he broke you beyond repair, something inside you still wanted him. Something inside you still wished he would come around.

Your phone lit up with a text message from his number, still saved as your husband. You took a mental note to later change it back or even delete it.

“Where are you ?”

“ Coffee shop” You wouldn’t help but wonder why he was even interested in knowing.

“I’m coming ” Or did he just want to get it over with so he could go to her ? You threw your phone on the table, looking out the large window. This place was in nowhere near your house, in fact your had to drive for quite a distance to reach it, and there was no way he would think of it or even remember it.

Minutes passed and nothing. Even if you ruled it out, you couldn’t help the slight anticipation building up but only ending in disappointment. You tightened your grip on the cup, already cold, and sighed closing your eyes.

“ Why didn’t you go home ?” The familiar soft voice resonated for a moment before you realized it was real. You opened your eyes to see Jungkook in his casual wear standing in front of you.

“ What are you doing here ?” You questioned with furrowed eyebrows.

“ I said I was coming ” He smirked with his smugish tone.

“ You know what I mean ” You sat straight brushing your hair back and glaring at him.

“ I will be really offended if you think I forgot about this place ” He grinned taking a seat, not that you offered.

“ You forgot about a lot of things ” You scoffed.

“ You have the right to be angry at me, Y/N” He frowned “ I know what I did was wrong”

“ So wrong ” You interrupted with a shrug.

“ You two are still together I see ! ” The owner of the shop cut into the conversation with the sweetest smile and a joyful expression on her aged face which you remembered to be a lot more younger the last time you were here “ I’m so happy to see you again ”

You forced the smile, greeting her back just as excitedly.

“ You remember me ?” Jungkook asked turning her attention to him.

“ Of course I do ” She patted his shoulder and he smiled “ You used to wait for her everyday until she talked to you ”

He laughed loudly at the memory, nodding “ I did. But that’s because I was afraid to ask her out on a date”

“ Well, she did have a lot of good offers to choose from ” You chuckled when she playfully winked at you.

“ And she chose the worst ” His expression broke into a frown. You looked at him, meeting his gaze for a split second before he shifted away.

“ I’m sure she doesn’t regret it at all ” The woman said before being called by her employee and leaving the two of you alone.

“ Do you ?” He suddenly broke the silence that took over.

“ Do I what ?”

“ Regret marrying me ?” Jungkook sounded just like you, when you didn’t want an answer.

“ What do you think ?” You shrugged bitterly.

“ You are right to ” He sighed deeply.

“ No, I don’t ” Jungkook looked up at you with wide eyes “ I still enjoyed every moment of it, every memory with you. I enjoyed being loved by you and I’ll have that alone with me forever ”

“ Y/N … ”

“ I want you to be happy, Kookie ” A tear traced from your eye and you hurriedly wiped it away “ With or without me ”

She wasn’t you .

His heart fluttered, clenching painfully at each word. How could I hurt her ? He cursed himself. This all because of him, because of his selfishness, because of a whim.

A whim that he wasn’t even sure he wanted anymore.

His phone rang but he ignored it. You knew who it was from his expression and knew that it was your time to go. It was getting late anyways and you were exhausted.

“ I’m leaving now ” You stood up, grabbing your things.

“ W-Why ?” He jumped as if you were going forever. It didn’t sit right with him, that idea.

“ I want to go home ” You sighed, brushing your fingers through your hair.

“ Give me your keys, I’ll drive you ”

“ You don’t need to ”

“ You look tired ” He tilted his head “ And it’s late. I don’t want you going alone ”

“ Might as well get used to it ” You feigned indifference, making it sound like a joke.

“ Y/N, please, let me take you ”

“ What about your car ?”

“ I’ll come get it in the morning ” Jungkook was persistent so you just ended up giving in to his plea. As you always do.

“ Oh right !” He stepped up to you hugging you right before you were about to step into the car “ I almost forgot ”.

Jungkook spent the whole night home, only leaving in the early morning for work.

Day 26;

It was your day off so you planned the usual clean up the whole mess that was created over the week. Usually, Jungkook would try and help which only ended in more mess than you started with. So today was quiet.

He was home but you didn’t see him all morning as he had locked himself in his office, seemingly stressed with work, but you didn’t ask. It wasn’t your place to anymore.

Lost in your work you didn’t hear him until he came up behind you, giving you a tight back hug, startling you. You tensed for a moment before relaxing back into his touch.

“ Anything I can help you with ?” He sounded tired, drained, and sleep deprived. You just shook your head silently, and even if you didn’t want to, enjoyed that he initiated it.

To him, he couldn’t understand how your scent alone made him feel better without it going further than that, something he could never find in someone else. Even her. Something he would never forgive himself for letting go but it was too late.

“ Remember when you proposed to me ?” You said as you twirled the ring around your finger.

“ I had bought the wrong size ” He chuckled.

“ My hands were trembling so much you couldn’t even put it on ” You smiled closing your eyes “ I loved you so much ”

“ I loved you too ” His arms tightened even more around you.

“ That’s the difference, Jungkook ” You pushed him back, fleeing his embrace “ I still do ”

You were about to leave when he gripped your arm turning you to him. His lips were immediately on yours stealing the breath away from your lungs as he desperately clung into you. Not knowing how much he missed this feeling until it hit him again.

You were about to give in and melt into the kiss when you snapped back into your senses and broke the kiss, glaring.

“ You don’t get to do that anymore ” You took off the ring and gave it to him.

Maybe you will regret this for the rest of your life. Maybe you should’ve held onto him. But it felt like it was the right thing to do. For the both of you.

Day 30;

Neither of you slept that night.

You spent it staring at those papers, the empty spot under your name waiting to be filled. Your fingers trembled trying to grip the pen as if your brain has ceased to function. It was easy as a few lines, a little ink on a couple of papers to end everything you worked on. You sighed for what felt like the thousand time and your eyes watered for what seemed to be the millionth.  

Jungkook stared blankly at the wall of your shared living room. A large portrait of your wedding day staring back at him with spiteful eyes.

What happened to him ?

This was once his dream and complete happiness. Was he really going to give it all up for a fling? For pleasure of the night ?

A pleasure you once gave him by existing. His phone rang again, her name clear on the screen but he turned it over and just ignored it. He was too much into this to back out now.

Turning off the alarm before it could go off, you stood up to cross off the final day of the month on the calendar. The final day of your marriage. You looked at the mirror, practicing the smile you had faked so many times it started to appear more genuine than your actual one. Which you couldn’t recall at this point anymore.

After a few seconds, you walked out to find him sitting on that same table as the first day with his usual coffee. You were never going to see this again. Him lazily sitting with his phone in his hand, dressed in a loose tanktop and sweatpants. His hair ruffled but always falling into perfection over his forehead.

“ Jungkook ” You reenacted the smile, holding onto the papers. He looked up from his phone at you with a more sincere and brighter smile than you could afford.

Don’t smile at me like that, jerk You scolded to yourself and as if he heard you, his smile broke into a frown when his eyes fell on the papers he knew too well.

“ Hug me ” You opened your arms for him, trying your best to keep you composure for this final day, still keeping your smile. And just like the first day, he stood up to wrap his arms around you. One hand on your back and the other tangled in your hair.

Jungkook buried his face in your neck closing his eyes and inhaling the sweet fragrance you always put on. You were always unchanged. Youwere still the same. It was him. This was his fault and his alone. And for the first time, it was Jungkook crying and not you.

“ You can let me go now ” You joked when he held on too long for your own good. He didn’t want to but this is his doing so he slowly released you, wiping his eyes.

“ I signed them ” You handed him the paper, with a smile, “ Have a nice life, Jungkook ” And after a deep breath you turned around ready to leave.

“ Y/N !” He called after you before you could close the door and you hesitated to stop, you couldn’t get hurt again, not anymore. You stared at him as he stood deadpanning. His mouth worked faster than his brain so he had nothing to say. He contemplated for a moment before sighing out a “ Thank you ”.

You left, closing the door behind you and maybe finally putting a period on the last few years of your life. Tears found you again.

“ Wait !” Jungkook caught up with you, halfway through the parking lot, breathless and disoriented “ Y/N … Please, wait ”

You halted turning back to him almost crashing into you.

“ What ? Is there something wrong with it ?” You said, trying to remember if you had forgotten to sign anything correctly.

“ You … I ” Jungkook hunched forwards trying to catch his breath, unable to utter a single constructed sentence, but his mind was made up.

“ What’s wrong ?” You repeated again, getting worried now over his behavior. He looked up at you, with tears filling his eyes making them glister against the faint sunlight, before getting on one knee.

“ I … Can’t do this ” He shook his head “ I know the first time was much better, more planned, but I can’t just let you go ”

Jungkook reached under his collar for a necklace. He had been keeping your ring around his neck ever since you gave it back, which more than just surprised you, considering he was the one asking for divorce.

His hands trembled as he tried to open it and get the ring out, frustrated at himself for not being able to do it properly on the first few tries but finally getting it free.

“ I know I don’t deserve you and I know I fucked up but …” He took your hand into his “ Can you please take me back ? I will do anything … anything I can to make it up to you ”

“ How will I know you wouldn’t just leave me again the moment someone grabs your attention ?” You stared down at him, not knowing what to do. Your heart screamed for you to just accept, to just give in. Every single piece of you wanted him back.

“ I know … I now know that I can’t live without you ” He begged “ I really can’t, so don’t make me. Please, I will do better this time. Give me a second chance, Y/N, please ”

“ You’re a jerk, you know that ?”

“ I do, please, I love you ”

“ You hurt me so badly ”

“ I love you so much ”

“ You -”

“ I deserve to die for it but I really, really, love you ”

“ Just … Just put it on already ” You yelled at him.

Jungkook suddenly sprung up to his feet, his tears still not dry but his mind clearer than ever, he pulled you in for a tight hug almost painfully wrapping himself around you. He pulled back just enough to look at you, searching for something.

“ So you really mean it ?” He asked, uncertain if it was true.

“ You will still have to work for forgiveness ” you brought your hands to his face, cupping his cheeks your fingers drying away the tears “ I still didn’t forgive you for what you put me through ”

He nodded eagerly, kissing you a million times, before pulling you back into his arms nuzzling your hair.

“ I can’t believe how much of an idiot I was ” Jungkook breathed out.

“ I can’t either ”

“ I will absolutely make it up to you ” He said as he slid the ring back into its rightful place “ I will treat you better than I ever did. I love you, Y/N ”

“ I love you too, asshole ” You smiled, reminded of how it was to sincerely do so.

Day 0;

To say jungkook was trying would be an understatement. That much you could attest to. He made sure you would feel how sorry he was, how remorseful he still is, and you did. For the most part.

Most nights you would peacefully sleep in his arms, with not even a pinch of worry as you listened to his heartbeat, but other nights weren’t the same. Other nights, insecurities would swarm down on you, scenes of them together – scenes you’ve never witnessed – would stream behind your closed eyelids.

A faceless figure touching him, kissing him, and …

Your eyes shot open and you jolted out of sleep, not daring to see what your nightmare had for you next, cold sweat and shivers covering your body. You sighed. To night was one of those nights.

Did I make the right choice ? You thought rubbing your eyes in attempt to adjust them to the slightly bright room. It was already morning.

“ Are you okay ?” Jungkook sat up, half awake and a little dazed. An expression that would have made you burst into laughter with his messy hair. If it you weren’t for your state of … Fear.

“ Yeah, Just … a nightmare ” You smiled back at him.

“ You’ve been having them a lot lately ” He massaged your shoulder with a guilty and apologetic tone.

“ Go back to sleep, kookie ” You glanced at the clock by your bedside6:25 AM “ You still have time before you need to get up ”

“ You do too ” He pouted when you drew the cover away from over yourself.

“ I’m already up, might as get a head start ” You straightened his hair, yawning.

“ Five more minutes, please, come here ” Jungkook pulled you down into his embrace, sinking further down the bed, and practically trapping you with his legs over yours.

“ You’re really heavy, you know that ?” You whined already breathless from trying to get away from him. Half trying.

“ I love you ” He whispered nuzzling your hair “ I really do ”

Your heart fluttered, a little painfully, and you inched closer. Wordlessly deciding to believe him, comforting yourself with his warmth you fell asleep again.

“ I missed that ” He spoke after he felt your body relax into a deep sleep “ You calling me Kookie”

~~

“ Hey there, sleepy head ” Jungkook cooed as you stepped out of the bedroom into the kitchen.

“ Why didn’t you wake me up ? I’m going to be late for work now ” You whined, frustrated with him and more with yourself, seeing him hum an unrecognizable melody.

“ It’s sunday, you idiot ” He laughed shaking his head in dismay.

“ Oh .. Right” You shrugged idiot indeed “ I forgot ”

“ Sit down, I made coffee” He held up the two cups moving them to the dinner table.

“ Like you know how to make anything else ” You joked making your way towards him, leaving a light peck on his cheek.

“ Are you … Are you making fun of my cooking skills ?” Jungkook dramatically gasped “ How dare you ? ”

“ I should die for my sin ” You laughed as you sat down taking your cup from him. These days you weren’t reminded of then anymore by being like this, sat face to face on this same table, instead you enjoyed the time you were spending together even with vain discussions like this. It made you feel normal. Safe.

“ Why are we drinking coffee on a sunday ? Should I make you something ?” You looked up at him from your cup

“ Because I wanted to make you something but … ” Jungkook paused, not daring to continue, he knew if he was to say it you would tease him for the rest of his mortal life.

“ But … ” The grin on you face was growing at his shy expression “ Go on, say it.”

“ I don’t know how to make anything else ” He said quietly, hoping you wouldn’t hear but by the way you burst out in laughter, you did.

“ Well, you do make the best coffee ever so it’s okay ” Yes, that was the best you could do at comforting.

“ Was that a compliment ?” He looked up at you wide eyed and a childlike smile on his face. You couldn’t help but smile back. Your heart leaping undeniably.

“ Yeah, I’m completely capable of those” You laughed “ You just have to deserve it ”

Jungkook didn’t know why but that statement on its own was like a painful stab to his chest. Even though he knew you didn’t mean anything by it. Not what he was thinking.

“ What do you want to do today ?” He suddenly asks after a long silence of the both of you just sitting there each checking your phones like you always did before.

“ Clean ?” You stated, the obvious for you, putting your phone down.

“ The house looks clean though. Wanna do something fun ?” Jungkook said looking around the living room. Brat.

“ In your eyes it is ” You looked away. Your mouth mouth was too fast for you brain “  But then again a lot of things seem clean to you ”

Jungkook froze, taken aback by your sudden words. This was not going how he planned.

“ Y/N” He stuttered.

“ Forget about it. I’m sorry ” You were, you didn’t mean it. You really didn’t.

“ You have the right to still be mad at me ” There it was again. That guilty tone.

“ I’m not mad !” You yelled, standing up, “ It was just a slip of tongue okay ? Let’s not talk about it. Ever again.”

“ Babe ” He hugged you “ I love you ”

“ I know ” you circled your arm around him, burying your face in his neck “ I know ”.

“ By the way ” You hit his back for him to let go and he hummed, refusing to, for you to talk “ You’re acting really suspicious today ”

Jungkook laughed finally letting go, hiding his face “ Me? Not at all !”

“ What did you do ?” You pouted at him.

“ Hmm … Remember how you always talked about taking a week off from work ?”

“ Jungkook …” You started walking towards him as he stepped back.

“ Not me but someone might have called in to get it for you ” He smiled from ear to ear holding both his hands up in surrender.

“ Not you ?”

“ Definitely not ”

“ Come here ” You motioned for him but ended up being the one to close the distance pinching his stomach “ And why did the ” not you “ do that ?”

He groaned in pain when you twisted the skin you were able to grab hold of.

“ Maybe … Maybe he wanted to take you on a trip. Just the two of us” He smiled again and you slowly released him. Surprised.

“ Really ?” You asked and he dipped down to kiss your forehead.

“ Really. Go pack.”

“ Where are we going ?”

“ Somewhere warm and beautiful.”

“ You’re not going to tell me ?”

“ Nope” He teased earning him another pinch.

You quickly headed to your bedroom before stopping and abruptly turning on your heels to face him, slightly glaring at him.

“ Is it even sunday today ?” you squinted at him.

“ Monday ”

“ Jungkook !”

~~

Not once did he let go of your hand while walking around somewhere in Jeju. That’s all you knew. From the moment the ferry dropped you off until now you just followed him around.

“ Are you sure we’re not lost ?” You said for the thousand time as you tugged at the back of his shirt. Your hands sweating from being held for so long.

“ No ! Absolutely not ! I know where we are ” Jungkook let go of your hand to get his phone out searching through the maps nervously “ And that is … Okay maybe we’re lost ”

“ Ah ! Jungkook-ah, really ? I told you to ask around 50 minutes ago ” You brushed your hair back from your face, tired and your legs hurting.

“ I knew I could do it myself !”

“ Clearly” You scoffed taking the suitcase from him and sitting on it to catch your breath “ You’re lucky I love you ”

“ I am ” He said absentmindedly as he looked around. You glanced up at him, something inside you feeling warm. Just two words were enough to bring tears to your eyes, why you were so emotional right then ? The exhaustion You justified.

You stood up again, stretching a little before smiling “ I’m hungry, let’s eat first then solve this. I saw a restaurant back there ”. Dragging the suitcase behind you, you pushed him forward before he could protest.

Jungkook just kept pouting throughout the whole time staring down his own food, moving the rice from one side to the other. He only looked up when he heard the camera shutter from your phone. Jungkook stared at you with scrutinizing eyes “ Why ?”

“ You looked ugly while frowning” You laughed “ I wanted proof for future referrals ”

“ I … ” He sighed looking back down “ I just wanted this to be perfect ”

“ It is ” You put your palm on his cheek, your thumb creating circles “ Good food, good view and an okay company. It’s perfect ”

“ An okay company ?” He raised an eyebrow at you.

“ Don’t push your luck ” You joked “ Let’s get to the hotel first, we can turn this around. Still.”

“ Thank you, love” His expression brightened. You didn’t know why he was thanking you but you finally felt like you were able to breathe.

Jungkook was trying.

“ Finally ” You yelled out plunging down on the bed, rolling around in joy as he stood by the door watching you. You never realized how precious the comfort of the bed is until now, when you couldn’t take another step even if they killed you. The whole day was lost in trying to find this place which looked less like a hotel and more like a huge house run by an elderly couple.

“ I’m so~ tired ” you whined moving up the bed to lean back on the headstand before you looked at him “ Aren’t you ?”

“ hmm ” He nodded slowly moving towards the bed, leaving your luggage by the door, his eyes half closed “ I am”. You patted your side for him to lie down.

Jungkook rested his head on your thighs, his hands massaging the back of them and down your legs. “ I’m sorry. I thought I would know the way on my own.”

“ It’s okay, kookie ” You tangled your fingers in his brown locks “ We got to tour the island on our first day. It’s a good thing”

“ I love you ” He pushed further, hiding his face completely from you.

“ I love you too ” You whispered.

~~

You looked away in the distance, a few houses located just a small walk away from the beach where you and Jungkook sat. He, as always, taking pictures of everything around him. Sneaking a few takes of you as well, when you weren’t paying him that much attention.

“ Wouldn’t it be amazing if we got a house just like that and lived here until we grew old, just the two of us ?” You breathed out laying back down on your beach towel. Neither of you wanted to swim since the sun was too hot and you were keen on keeping your complexion the way it is with no unnecessary sunburns.  

Jungkook put down his camera to look where you were pointing and nodded before turning his attention to you “ Just the two of us?”

“ Who else ?” You sat up again laughing “ Are you planning on adding anyone ?”

“ Kids ” He mumbled, shyly eying the sand as he passed his fingers through it “ Maybe ?”

“ Kids ? How many ? Don’t say a crazy number ” You glared “ I’ll leave you.”

“ Two ” He held up two digits with a bunny smile “ A girl and a boy ”

“ That sounds nice ” You leaned your head on his shoulder closing your eyes and breathing in the salty aroma of the sea “ Really nice. Just not now ”

Jungkook rubbed the side of his cheek on your head smiling “ Whenever you want ”

“ I’m tired of sitting down, let’s go ” You shook him awake after a few minutes “ I want to see the fish market ”

“ Fish market ?” He said baffled by your choice “ I thought you girls like beaches and flower fields ”. You just laughed standing up and dusting the sand off your clothes “ Are you coming or should I go alone ?”. He quickly followed.

It didn’t take you much time before reaching it, and just you thought it would be. The smell of fish and unrecognizable other things hit Jungkook’s nose immediately, he couldn’t bear with it. He always had a sensitive sense of smell, something you knew but seemed to forget in the moment. He put his hand over his mouth and nose as he walked with you. An excited child that was seeing the world for the first time, or at least that’s what you looked like to anyone else.

“ Babe, I feel sick ” He mumbled in your ear just when he couldn’t take it anymore. Jungkook didn’t want to disturb you happy time, asking about all the kinds of fish and their names then showing – scaring – him.

“ You don’t like the smell ?” He shook his head with apologetic eyes.

“ But I thought they used to call you Seagull in high school ” You laughed “ Don’t Seagulls love fish ?”

“ Y/N !” He screamed in frustration. However, he always loved that you knew a lot, maybe too much, about him. So did you.

“ Go wait for me somewhere, I’ll take a few picture and be right there. Hm ?”

“ Okay ” He nodded slowly “ I think our ’‘hotel” is just around there, I’ll be waiting for you in the cafe. Don’t get lost “. Jungkook kissed the side of your temple before handing you his camera.

” Right back at you “

” don’t even bring it up “

” Bring what up ?“ You innocently replied, blinking a few times.

” That I got lo- damn you “ And he fell right into it.

~~

The next day was the same, the two of you walked around hand in hand, taking pictures of all the murals and paintings that decorated what was closer to you. It felt like a second honeymoon which depicted your second beginning. Or as you wanted to think.

You realized that a lot has changed in Jungkook, after spending these couple of days alone with him and uninterruptedly so, he smiled more when looking at you – the sincere kind -, he made those stupid jokes that made your entire entity cringe away from him, he was more affectionate than those hellish thirty days that you had to spend in pain.

With every giggle, every touch, every hug, and every kiss your pain was being wiped away. It wasn’t easy to forget but he made it a lot less hard to live with. He was yours, he made sure you’d know that, he had only eyes for you now. Which made it a little awkward from time to time that he’d stare at you for long quiet minutes like he’s never seen you before, then just smile like a child.

Jungkook changed. He was trying.

” Look at those “ Jungkook turned you roughly towards a store ” It will look goo-“

” Jungkook, no “ You made a I’m-disgusted-by-you face while inching away from him ” We are not getting couple shirts “

” Come on “ He whined ” We used to wear them a lot “

” That was when we were in college “ you stepped away even further ” I’m not wearing that “.

However, there you are, sitting down in a bright pink shirt that read ’'I love you ” in big bright colors like a teenager out on her first day. You didn’t really hate it. While Jungkook said he had to talk to the owner for whatever reason. “ It’s a secret ” He had told you before springing away into the abyss.

But at the end of the day, after all the wandering around and laughter, you liked laying on the bed in his arms as he hummed tunes into your ears. His warmth enveloping you in a protective cocoon, you felt loved.

He was acting the weirdest on the sixth day, you were to leave the day after so you spent the entire morning packing all your scattered stuff back into the luggage, he was no where to be found. You woke up to an empty bad with a simple not that said to pack and that he will be right back. It’s been six hours already and still no trace of him.

Jungkook, finally, opened the door to find you glaring right back at him. He smiled innocently, waiting for your wrath.

“ Where were you ?” you raised an eyebrow crossing your arms “ How could you leave me alone on our last day ?”

“ I know your mad but for now listen to me  ” Jungkook stepped in closer to you but stopped when you didn’t look so welcoming “ Did you bring any long dresses ? Particularly long white dresses ?”

“ You’re acting suspicious again ” You unconsciously looked down at your clothes wondering if you did “ What did you do this time ?”. He took matters upon himself, undoing all the packaging you spent your precious time figuring out. If you weren’t so curious as to why he was doing this, you would have murdered him right there and then.

“ This will do ” Jungkook pulled up a light long dress, mostly white, that you brought to wear at the beach but never really did “ This will be perfect ”. He handed you the dress pushing you towards the bathroom “ Wear this and do … Do something about your hair ”.

“ What’s wrong with my hai-” You couldn’t finish your sentence when the door was closed tightly with him still holding it on the other side so you wouldn’t be able to push it open. “ Jungkook! I swear to god I will kill you once I go out ”.

Yet, when you did come out, he just stared at you again. It the same manner which made you too shy to even speak. His eyes glistered and you would have mistook it for tears if you weren’t too preoccupied with straightening the fabric and fixing the few strands of hair that were already not behaving.

“ Are you really not telling me ?” You said as you stopped in front of a large wooden door, somewhere in the huge house you were staying at that you didn’t have time to explore and Jungkook opposed you doing so, you were about to find out why.

“ Our wedding. Well, second one ” Jungkook sheepishly said while offering you his hand. You looked up at him with a questioning look.

“ Is that why ?” Suddenly everything fell into place. The white dress, him weirdly not wearing his plain shirts and loose jeans and actually looking like a human being, the prolonged talks with the owner, and your trip here. “ Wait, Jungkook-ah … wait ” You said but had no time since the door was pulled opened and the music started.

There was almost nobody in the big empty space. A long path of flowers and small candles trailing down to where an older man stood, wearing the usual priest attire and a book in his hand. A few people, clearly employees, were giggling and whispering to each other while Jungkook started walking. You held onto his arm too overwhelmed and too taken aback to speak a word. You just kept looking around before your eyes fell on him and your head went clear.

It was like the first time, the nervous butterflies in your stomach as your father walked you down the aisle to hand you off you off to Jungkook, the prick of tears slowly turning into a well then a waterfall, the happiness.

“ Kookie ” You rasped when you both stood face to face at the end of the long aisle, tears dried on your cheeks.

“ I know this is not the most perfect ceremony in the world ” He started and already you could feel your heart beating faster and your eyes watering again. Jungkook reached for your hands holding them tightly in his “ I know I’m not perfect and that I wasn’t the best husband to you, that I don’t deserve you”

“ Don’t say that” you interrupted but he hushed you.

“ I know that I will have to spend the rest of my life trying to pick the broken pieces of your trust and I’m willing to do that and more. Much more. I’m lucky that you took me back, I’m lucky that you accepted an asshole like me ( you abruptly looked at the priest following the swear word who just laughed it off ) back into your life. I can’t promise you that our forever will be the best out there but I can promise you that I will, with all my heart, love you and only you forever. I can’t promise you that I will be the best husband but I can promise to try as hard as I can to protect, love, and make you happy just like you deserve to be ”

“ I love you too ” You took a step forwards to kiss him, ready for that forever, when a rough cough snapped you back into reality.

“ Not so soon, my child. I still have to do my job ’'The priest motioned for the two of you to part a little and everyone burst into laughter ” I know it’s hard but be patient for just a few more lines “.

You wiped your tears, repeating the vows you have given before then hearing him do the same, both of you putting more determination into them. Because this time, you wanted them to not remain as pointless words you were to say in front of your family and friend for them to clap and cheer. These were promises for just the two of you, for no one to make lightly of.

” You may kiss your bride, at last “ And yet another outburst of laughter as you tried to sloppily kiss between giggles and tears. You pulled away looking at him, tears in his eyes and cheeks flushed, he never looked so perfect. Jungkook seemed to be thinking the same as he dipped down again to capture your lips in his.

” You sneaky little shit “ You said as the evening he had planned for you ended and you were heading back to your room.

” Are you sure you want to call your husband a little shit the night of your wedding ?“ Jungkook laughed putting his arm over your shoulder and letting his lips lightly touch your temple.

” I can always change my mind “

” Nope, you’re stuck with me now. Forever.“ Hearing it didn’t sound that bad to you either but you weren’t going to agree, not going to give him the satisfaction of triumph.

” Jungkook “ You stopped him as you entered the room, his lips having already found their way onto yours, hands starting to wander ” I … “  

” We don’t have to go further if you don’t want to “ He kissed you again, hugging you closer ” I don’t want you to do something you don’t-“

” It’s not that “ You stopped him again ” I wanted to thank you. I know it’s been hard putting up with my mood swings over the last month and that I said some mean thing along the way. Thank you for this wonderful trip and beautiful 'wedding’ “

” You deserve much more “ Jungkook tightened his embrace on you for a moment before letting go completely ” Sleep, sunshine. We have to get up early tomorrow “

” No, wait “ You looked down at your own feet, embarrassed ” I want you. Tonight. I want to you “

” Are you sure ?“ He curled his finger under your chin tilting you up to look at him ” Say it one more time, please.“

” I want you “ You smiled, and Jungkook felt his world completed, pushing your body against his as he arched down to leave small and short kissed on your cheeks and forehead. Pampering you cutely.

“ I love you ” He whispered kissing your forehead.

“ I love you ” He repeated while moving down to your nose.

“ I love you ” He chanted as he started to thrust in slowly and passionately. His eyes never once left yours and his fingers forever brushing your skin.

He kissed you every chance he got, making your every insecurity fade away, nibbling and tugging at your lips so gently it sent tingles through your veins.

“ Jungkook-ah …” You met his every thrust with the same desperation, the same love. He missed this feeling, he missed seeing you writhe underneath him and because of him, he missed you.

“ I love you ” He breathed out in your ear as he came, his lungs airless but his heart and mind full.

“ I love you too ” You nuzzled his hair wrapping your arms and legs around him to keep his body close. To feel more of him.

With both your breathing, movements, and fluids blending together you just laid there and in every possible way, even though it wasn’t the first time, it was perfect. It wasn’t going to be the last either.

“ Did your dream change ?” He pressed his lips to your temple pulling himself closer and further down the bed. Your bodies were still entangled together under the sheets. You felt sleepy but couldn’t let the moment slip away.

“ What dream ?” You looked up at him and he laughed slightly at your puffy tired eyes and clueless expression.

“ You wanted to open a small coffee shop, like the one we used to meet in ”

“ You remember that ?” You chuckled resting your head on his chest to listen closer to his heartbeats, you had forget all about it yourself. “ That was when I was a silly college girl. Now I work in an office, like everyone else.”

“ It’s not a silly dream. You can still make it happen if you want ” Jungkook yawned closing his eyes “ I’ll make it true for you ”

“ What ?” Your ear were starting to give out as you momentarily blacked out then woke up again.

“ Nothing.” He smiled “ Nothing at all ”

~

Of course all good things have to come to an end, even if you wished you’d be able to stay forever, you had to go back to the natural course of life. Working.

Jungkook seemed more and more exhausted by work, more than he would whine about, and it started getting worse as the first then second week passed by then it slowly turned into a month and eventually you lost count. He still came home earlier than before, much earlier, you deemed as his attempt to give you a peace of mind. But he still worked all night when coming home under the faint light of the living room. You started getting worried about his eyesight.

Your life slowly turned back into what it was before and you rarely thought of what had happened. It crossed your mind a few times while having nothing to distract you but he was quick to brush every second thought out of your mind completely. You were grateful for that.

~~

“ I’m going ” You stood up and suddenly your head felt light and lost your balance for a split second stumbling forward and supporting yourself with your hands on the edge of the table.

Jungkook quickly jumped up to you, grabbing your are and staring at you with wide eyes “ What was that ?”

“ I think I stood up too fast ” You leaned back against him slowly massaging your temples and smiled “ I feel better now ”

“ Are you sure ? Maybe you should call off work. The company won’t crumble if you’re not there ” Jungook turned you to him cupping your face to study your face for any discomfort. You looked too pale “ Please ?”

“ No, I should go. I have a very important lunch today ” You reached up to kiss his him lightly “ You, on the other hand, didn’t sleep at all last night ”

“ You noticed ?” He chuckled, his index coming up to lightly run his earlobes shyly, and you couldn’t help but smile at him “ I’ll sleep later ” He walked away to get his keys from the counter “ I Have to drive my wife to work first ”

You rolled your eyes at him shrugging at his fake cutesy voice before taking them away from him to put them back and instead holding your car keys up “ Your wife can drive herself and I need my car today. Go sleep, big boy”

“ What did you just call me ?” Jungkook stepped closer, almost threateningly, with an arched eyebrow.

“ Big.boy ”

“ Big boy ?” You nodded a grin playing on your face as he sneaked his arms around your waist, resting them on your lower back, pulling you flush against him.

“ Don’t get me excited ” He whispered obscenely in your ear leaving a long and slow kiss on your neck, teeth lightly dragging on the skin “ I won’t be able to let you go”

“ Get away from me, pervert, you’ll ruin my make up ” You pushed him away. Containing your laugh not to ruin your seriousness.

“ You look better without it anyways ”

“ Compliments are not going to get you anywhere ”

“ Can I at least get a kiss ?” He pursed his lips cutely and you couldn’t really deny him. You stepped back toward him and his fingers immediately tangled in your hair as he came down to kiss you. He let his tongue slip into your mouth, angling your face for a better access, he tasted like sweetened coffee. Coffee he drank all night to keep him awake. You were starting to feel worried about this repetitive pattern.

You pulled away, just enough to speak, putting your hands on each side of his face “ Sleep, okay ? Whatever it is that’s keeping you up will be just fine.”

Jungkook nodded and smiled sweetly as you left a quick peck of the tip of his nose “ I love you ”

“ I love you too, kookie.”

You felt better for the first few hours, completely forgetting about the sick feeling in your stomach as you ran around preparing for a presentation that could decide your career path, but just as soon as you entered the restaurant you were supposed to meet your client in that feeling was back. Each smell made you want to gag with an eternally existing lump in your throat that made it hard to breathe, each voice of plate scraping or even high heels clicking on the floor made your head spin.

You couldn’t focus on what was being said and ended up nodding each time they nodded and laughing each time they did.

Your stomach felt achingly empty but at the same time had no interest in being filled. One of your co-workers noticed your color-drained face and the hand covering your nose and mouth, leaning closer to you and whisper a “ are you okay ?”. However, the smell of cigarettes in his breath was the final tipping point as you full on dry-heaved over the lunch table making everyone halt what they were doing and look at you. With dissatisfaction, maybe even a little resentment.

“ I’m sorry, I don’t feel too well today. Please continue ” You tried to stop the urge to cough out your insides with every breath you took to speak, forcing you to inhale more of the nauseating smell, and feigned a smile.

“ Maybe you should go ? I don’t want you to be sick ” Leave was what he was saying Don’t ruin this.

“ I’m really sorry, I hope your discussion goes smoothly ” You grabbed your bag and rushed out looking to get as far away as you wanted.

“ Jungkook ?” You called as you walked into the house, the only thing you wanted to do was to vent to him about what happened, but there was no sound. You kicked off your shoes and dropped the bag by the doorway, not having enough energy to drag it behind you any longer, making your way toward the open door of the bedroom.

Jungkook was in deep sleep, spread on the bed in what seemed to you like the most uncomfortable position ever, but he looked rested. You sat on the edge careful not to wake him as you observed his relaxed expression but the dark circles under his eyes were puffy and clear, you knew he wasn’t telling you something. Maybe something was wrong with work ? Was he having a hard time ? You wanted to ask but also didn’t want to put him in an uncomfortable position. You passed your fingers through his hair before feeling sleep taking over you so you went out to the couch – that was actually comfy, unlike what you thought when you made him sleep there all those time – falling asleep with a throbbing headache.

After what seemed like seconds, you felt a firm hand on the back of your knee, then an arm underneath your back pulling you up slightly before completely picking you up from the couch. You sighed softly your eyes still closed as you rested your head on Jungkook’s chest who hummed in response.

“ What time it is ?” Your voice came out hoarse and breathy. He chuckled a little moving you into the bedroom.

“ 5-something pm, why are you early ? And why are you sleeping on the couch ?” You squirmed a little in his arms, his voice as too loud for your ears, before finally opening your eyes to see him looking back at you with worried eyes just as he was putting you down on the bed.

“ I got fired ” You joked, well, half-joked.

“ What ?”

“ If I didn’t then I’m sure they will tomorrow ” You laughed bitterly under his scrutinizing gaze, waiting for more, “ I almost threw up on the client ”. His hand was already on your forehead, the other on his own, comparing your temperatures.

“ You’re burning up ” Jungkook whispered, voice coated with concern, before standing up “ I’ll get you some medication and tomorrow we’re going to the hospital ”. You held his hand, bringing him back down to a sitting position, resting your head on his leg and groaning.

“ I’m okay, just stay like this for a little while. I need the comfort ” You remembered the way your superior had looked at you, and the deal you might have ruined by not saying the right things, tears filled your eyes for some reason. It was just a stupid occurrence why …

“ Why are you crying ?” Jungkook said after feeling the soft of his sweatpants dampen “ Something else happened ?”

“ No, it’s just … I prepared for it so much ” You muffled back a sob get yourself together “ I think I just stressed.”

“ Just quit it, quit your job ” He raked through your hair, despising how fragile you looked at that moment “ You never liked it anyways ”

“ I can’t ” You wiped your tears away sitting up “ It will put more pressure on you and you’re already pulling all-nighters. I can’t.”

Jungkook smiled at you going closer to kiss your forehead “ I’ll do anything for you. Everything for you.” He suddenly stood up “ It’s settled, you’re quitting that shitty job. ” It felt like he was waiting an eternity to say it. “ Now, rest, I’ll go buy you something to eat. I’m sure you didn’t get anything by now ”.

You just nodded, taking a mental note to protest later for this stupid decision.

You drifted back to sleep only to be awaken by the sudden idea, maybe it was in your dream or the deepest of your consciousness, but you were snapped awake when the realization hit you.

How long has it been ? standing up feeling the twist in your abdomen again and the urge to empty an already void stomach, you left the bedroom to look for your phone that you were sure was left wandering somewhere in the living room when you fell asleep earlier.

“ I was about to come wake you up ” Jungkook was just putting down whatever he bought on the table with a large grin on his face. Your mind couldn’t formulate any response or even process what he said so you just glanced at him and faintly smiled while frantically scanning the place for that damn piece of advice that always gets lost at the wrong time. Jungkook just watched you with confused eyes from where he stood.

You sighed opening the app that you used to track your period, since you could never remember or keep schedules of it, and it read  large and clear -8 Days. You froze in your place staring at the screen as if it was going to change then up at Jungkook, who was still puzzled, panic in your eyes.

“ I’m late ”

“ For what ? ”

“ Jungkook ” You sighed, calming yourself from the need to yell at him for no apparent reason “ My period is late ”

“ So .. hmm …” He stepped closer to you “ You think you’re-”

“ I’ll go get a pregnancy test ” You cut him short brushing past his shoulder until he grabbed your arm, turning you to him.

“ N-No, you stay right here. I’ll do it ” Jungkook moved faster than you could protest, practically running towards the door.

“ Jungkook !” You called after him just as he was about to close the door and he peeked back in with the same childish grin.

“ Yes babe ?” He looked like a mad man.

“ Your shoes ” You sighed looking down at him still in his ironman home slippers.

“ Right, right ” Jungkook laughed as he put on his running shoes before leaving screaming back “ I’ll be right back ”

You were nervous, scared, of the result. You were scared of it being positive, of your being pregnant, but seeing his reaction and how excited he sounded you were afraid you weren’t. A mixture of emotions that kept building up with the growing tension as you waited for him. You hated the wait.

Jungkook eventually stumbled back into the house with more than he needed.

“ I didn’t know which one to get so I got one from each brand they had ” He seemed breathless as he put down the plastic bag “ There were so many ”

“ Just one would have been enough, kookie ” You tried to sound as calm as possible as you dug through the bag and, ironically, found it hard to pick just one among the choices. You sighed closing your eyes and picking out the first one your fingers touched.

“ Wait here ” You said making your way to the bathroom.

“ No, I want to be there with you ”

“ Jungkook ” You squeezed your eyes in frustration and glared at him “ I’m about to pee on a stick. I don’t want you there ”

“ You’ve peed in front of me before ” He whined while pouting down at you obnoxiously.

“ Fine !” You breathed out in defeat “ Just be quiet ”

“ Like I’m not even there ”

~

“ So ?”

“ You said you’ll be quiet ” He slapped a hand over his mouth holding the other one up. Just a little mo-

“ Two lines ” You sighed.

“ Two lines ?” He reached for the box looking for instructions “ What does that mean ?”

“ It means I’m pregnant ” You looked down at the red lines, laughing at you. Shouldn’t I be excited ? This is what I wanted. Smile, Y/N, smile. But you couldn’t convince yourself.

Jungkook knelt down in front of you taking both your hands in his.

“ Oh my god, Y/N. Thank you so much ” He sounded like he was on the verge of tears hugging you and smiling from ear to ear.

“ Jungkook-ah ” You whispered pushing him back slightly. He looked at you, wide eyed, waiting for you to talk “ Are we ready for this ?”

“ What ?” He cupped your face “ Of course we are ! You’ll make a great mother and I … I’ll do my best to be a great father to-”

“ No, I mean, are we ready ?”

“ Y/N … You know that I love you more than anything in the world. We promised not to talk about this again, you made me promise ”

“ I know, I know. But…But this is different ” Your eyes started watering “ I don’t want this … child to be born into a broken family ”

“ We are not broken ” Jungkook wiped away the tears with his thumbs “ I made a mistake. A mistake I’ll regret for the rest of my life. A mistake that I will never ever repeat again ”

“ Yeah ?”

“ Of course ” He smiled “ I will do anything to gain your trust again. I know I lost it but I’ll work hard to put it back together, even stronger than before ” Jungkook leaned closer and kissed your forehead “ I promise ”

“ Let’s be happy from now on, okay ?”

“ Yeah ” He nodded “ This is a happy thing ”. suddenly, Jungkook froze for a moment staring at you, your eyesbrows furrowed back at him.

“ I’m going to be a dad ” He whispered calmly before repeating it even louder, almost screaming, you quickly covered his mouth with your hand.

“ Jungkook !” He took away your hand and kissed the inside of your palm before putting it on his cheek.

“ I just felt like getting that out of my system ” He smiled and you wondered how can a child raise another child. You were in trouble. But you couldn’t help but laugh.

“ Can we get out of the bathroom now ?” You chuckled not even wanting to know how much time the two of you spent there with his knees on the cold floor.

“ We need to call your mom … my mom. Everyone ”

“ No ” You stopped him “ Let’s wait until I’m absolutely sure. I’ll get a doctor’s appointment for next week ”

“ Yes ! Let’s do it … That’s a better idea ” He giggled

“ That’s why I’m the smart one of the relationship ” You brushed pass him into the bedroom.

“ Keep telling yourself that ” He laughed staring at your back. Jungkook smiled softly, his eyes gazing at you with fondness, you were his everything.

“ I love you so much ” He walked to you wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling your back flush against his chest “ Thank you ”

“ I love you too, kookie ” You closed your eyes, putting your hands over his as they settled on your lower stomach.

~~

You both sat in the waiting room, like two lost children, blankly staring at the couples passing by. You were fascinated by their pregnant bellies but also frightened of the thought of the actual birth. Jungkook’s eyes followed the small children as they ran around but always ended up in their father’s arms with cute smiles and loud giggles. He kept thinking that he will have that soon, with you.

“ Mrs. Jeon ?” The nurse called and Jungkook squeezed your hand nervously as you both stood up “ You’ll have to wait here, sir ”.

“ I’ll be right back, okay ?” You looked up at him feigning a smile, the fact of the matter is that you didn’t want to go in alone.  

“ Everything will be okay ” He whispered in your ear, not knowing why he even said it, it felt to him like the right thing to say. And, somehow, that’s just what you needed to hear. You nodded rubbing the side of your head against his shoulder before following her into the room.

It felt like it was an eternity since you’ve been gone, Jungkook started worrying. Knowing that it’s probably normal and that everything is just fine, he couldn’t help the tightness in his chest as he was directed to wait for you in the doctor’s office.  

You wiped your sweaty palms repeatedly on the soft fabric of the overwear they gave you as you nervously looked around the blindingly whitened small room you were in.

“ You can come with me now ” The nurse from before popped her head in through the open door, gesturing you to follow her smiling friendlily. With a heavy heart and haywire thoughts you walked behind her down the narrow hallways, the scent of strong disinfectant making you want to throw up.

Your mind quickly went over the few shorts tests they ran just a little before. Nothing too serious or painful really, just normal check-ups that Jungkook insisted on, but the anticipation clung onto your heart making the wait feel a lot more torturous as the seconds dragged on. Pregnant It echoed in your brain. You already tested positive but it still seemed weird and foreign for you.

You entered the doctor’s office, where Jungkook had been waiting -im-patiently for the past three hours. Your head hung low as you fought to find the courage to look at him, finding it strangely hard, maybe the embarrassment of the subject. Definitely.

“ I’m Seokjin, I’ll be your doctor and the one to possibly deliver the little one ” The doctor flashed you a tentative smile. You could see Jungkook and the anticipation beaming his gaze from the corner of your eyes and he peered at you.

“ Can you please lie down here ” He motioned to the white high bed he had been preparing while you exchanged silent conversations with your husband “ And please pull up your shirt ”.

You did as he said, feeling slightly exposed but who cares at this point, wincing slightly as he poured the cold liquid on your stomach and chuckled at your reaction. Jungkook wasn’t amused. You smiled at him then eyed the screen as it started to light up.

“ See that … right there. That black spot ” You followed his fingers to the shape he talked about your heart freezing for a moment as it suddenly became too true “ That’s the baby. It’s still small but … hmm … Want to hear the heartbeat ?”

“ Can we ?” Jungkook spoke up instead of you seeing how your eyes couldn’t leave the screen, holding your hand tightly through it all. Seokjin turned the switch and you could hear the loud thumbs.

“ That’s yours and this … ” He turned it back around reaching for another switch on the screen, the heartbeat to come out next was not as synchronized and not as loud but it made your eyes tear up. Jungkook was crying at this point when you looked at him, sharing a small moment that you didn’t think you could feel ever again, that flutter.

“ Congratulations, you’re seven weeks pregnant ” The doctor smiled, he enjoyed seeing those joyful moments unfold in front of him, this was why he became a doctor.

“ He looks like a little squid ” Jungkook laughed brushed his free hand over the spot, or you should say your baby.

“ Can you please not call our unborn child a squid ?” You glared at him through the tears as you wiped away the clear gel with a tissue Seokjin handed you with the same sweet smile.

They both broke out into laughter and continued talking about what should be done and what shouldn’t be done while your eyes were plastered on the screen. You were simply mesmerized. There was life being made inside of you and you still couldn’t wrap your mind around it.

“ I’m still gonna call him squid you know ” Jungkook broke the silence as you were driving back home. You were sure he had been debating it in his head for so long.

“ I fucking dare you, Jungkook ” you slapped his arm

“ You’ll get us killed ”  He caught your hand before you could hit him again resting it on his thigh “ I love you ”.

“ I love you too, kookie ”

Jungkook came into the room with a wet towel on one hand, a glass of water in the other hand and a concerned stare.

“ It’s normal, Kookie. You don’t have to panic every time it happens ” You coughed, nausea taking over once more.

“ But you haven’t even eaten anything since morning ” You reached for the towel that he brought but he moved your hand away to wipe your face for you instead. He always seemed apologetic while doing things like this.

“ I know. ” You closed your eyes sinking back into the bed “Just lay with me okay ?”

The first four months had been the hardest for you since you constantly felt sick upon inhaling any sort of scent. Pleasant or not. And the hardest on Jungkook since you did quit – got fired – from your job. Though he would never admit it. Jungkook joked about it, teasing you every chance he got with remixed versions of “ You should’ve quit when I told you to ”

You were now half-way through your sixth month and still having occasional drawbacks that sent you over the toilet again. But it was less frequent and you were able to eat comfortably again. Your belly had also grown considerably which meant that most your clothes and half your shoes couldn’t fit anymore.

It always made you frown when something didn’t look as great as before but your husband was always quick to brush away those insecurities, like he always does, with random compliments and sweet kisses of adoration.

You had just came back home from another appointment with the doctor, where you were given the chance to know the baby’s gender which you refused. Jungkook had been on and on about it ever since you left Seokjin’s office and didn’t shut up about until you started feeling sick. Thankfully.

Jungkook made you rest your head on his arm when you couldn’t even move up to the pillows, laying down next to you. It was still the middle of the day but it was also his day off and you were technically unemployed so it didn’t matter. He gave you enough room to breathe but was also close enough for you to feel his warmth.

His hand sneaked up under your shirt, a new habit he discovered recently, fingers tracing random patterns on your swollen belly. You sighed in response, relaxing against him.

“ Squid just moved !” Jungkook shot up, abruptly moving you just when you got comfortable, with a smile and twinkly eyes. You groaned in frustration, reminding him that he was your personal pillow for now “ Sorry, I got excited ”

“ I can see that ” You laughed this time resting your head on his chest to let the familiar, soothing, heartbeat reach your ears. “ It happens more frequently when the baby hears your voice. I’m getting jealous of the two of you. Bonding without me, already ” You snorted jokingly.

“ You’re cute ” His hand was back again on your stomach. This time his open palm massaging the underside.

“ Don’t call me cute ” You hit his arm and he shrugged “ Have you thought of any names ?”

“ I was waiting to know the gender first ” He pouted and you rolled your eyes. There he goes again.

“ I want it to be a surprise. And it doesn’t really matter what gender it is ”

“ But it’s hard to-” He stopped, laughing, when you glared up at him “ Okay, okay. How about … Junghye for a girl and Junghyun for a boy ?”

“ Hmm …” You nodded as he stilled his movements. It calmed you, his touch, and you somehow knew that your baby liked it as well. Jin had told you that it could distinguish voices now so you let Jungkook go on and on about the different names he liked. All in hopes that squid would recognize his father’s voice just as much as he did yours. It made your heart flutter just thinking about it.

“ How about Jimin ?” You finally cut off the stream of names, your eyes feeling heavy again with sleep even though you had woken up just four hours prior.

“ For ?”

“ Both … It’s unisex ”

“ Jimin … Jeon Jimin … Sounds nice ” Jungkook kissed your head, carding his free hand through your hair in a way he knew you liked “ Jimin it is ”

“ Now are you going to stop calling our Jimin squid ?” You looked up at him, optimistic.

“ Nope ” Jungkook chuckled and you couldn’t help but laugh as well.

You fell back into silence as you enjoyed each other’s breathing and Jungkook’s hand on your bare skin. He knew you would be tired, you were always tired, so he let you sleep in peace. He understood that it was hard, in every aspect, and felt sorry. Especially that he couldn’t really do anything to make it easier.

However, to you, his presence was more than enough.

~~

“ Let’s do something. I’m tired of just staying home all the time ” You stood up, as fast as your body allowed, stretching a little.

“ Jin told us to be careful in these last two months so nothing would go wrong ” Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows since last time you said that and you both got out for a stroll you ended up getting too tired and breathless. Which scared him to death.

“ I know but I’m bored. Let’s go shopping then ? We still need to buy some stuff for the baby ” You looked through your bag for a white envelope “ Guess who just, finally, got the payment for that internship I did a year ago and has money to blow ”. Jungkook just laughed saying he’ll be ready in a moment then disappearing into the bedroom then had to wait a whole hour for you to be ready as well. With no complaints.

It was more fun, and a lot more interesting, to shop for things with no knowledge of the baby’s gender. Jungkook soon learned to enjoy the mystery as well, even making bets on which it will be. Him saying that it’s a girl while you went for the other option. There wasn’t much time left before you would find out.

“ You think squid would love cars ?” He joked as you passed by one of the big toy cars that could probably fit three toddlers in one go.

“ I think that it will be very long before  Jimin would ride those. Move it.” You playfully hit his back turning him away before locking arms with him again. Channeling some of your weight on him. He was always giddy when you did. Most your discussions about it would just be :

“ It’s like I’m carrying the baby with you ”

“ No jungkook-ah, it’s not even close ”

“ But still ”

“ Put me down ! You’re making me dizzy ”

“ Jungkook ? ” A sweet and soft female voice called from behind you. Unfamiliar to you but apparently not to Jungkook, who froze immediately.

She was tall, pretty, and very attractive. All your insecurities came crushing down. More skin shown than covered, she walked towards the two of you. Her eyes scanned over the two of you with a mockingly offensive grin and you knew that it was her.

“ What are you doing here ?” He asked, his voice was stern and emotionless, cold even which came to a surprise to her and she paused.

“ I work here. If you had payed more attention to that instead of just fu-”

“ I guess I wasn’t that interested after all ” The flustered look on her face should have made you feel better but both their words cut deeper than you thought and you hand fell from Jungkook’s, who looked down at you with worried eyes.

“ You’re the wife. I don’t think we officially met ” She sheepishly smiled at you like some innocent angel. Something inside of you wanted to strangle her right there and then.

“ Do they allow you to dress like that around children ?” You returned the mocking stare, speaking like the mother you were going to be, it has somehow became a part of you. To speak like a mom.

“ It attracts the dads so they don’t mind. I sell more.” The way she spoke the words, her eyes fluttering over to jungkook who was stiff besides you, his eyes fixed on you. You clenched your fists but relaxed again. You weren’t able to do anything to her, it’s not like it’s her fault alone. It was the both of them, deep down you hated Jungkook a little again. You now had a face to go along with the nightmares and you could feel a slight ache in the pit of your stomach. You wanted out.  

“ Jungkook-ah ” You looked up at him and smiled, forced of course, “ Have a nice chat, I’ll wait by the car. I don’t want to get anything for ourbaby here ”

“ Y/N, w-wait …” He laced his fingers with yours halting you and turned to look at her for the first time “ I was out of my mind then. Sorry to have left like that but I’ve never loved you.” I got more important things now His eyes found yours again.

What if he goes back to her ? You looked down at your pregnant belly, already too big for comfort and a tear made its way down your face. Jungkook was focused on driving but his mind was racing with a million thing he should be saying. None of them seemed completely appropriate.

“ Jungkook-ah ” You hated how your voice came out broken so you wiped away the tears away and cleared your throat “ Do you regret it ?”

“ Don’t say that ” Jungkook was glad you spoke out, but was rather unhappy with the words themselves “ Don’t ever think for a second that I’d prefer be with her than you ”

“ You-”

“ Never. I love you so much and you’ve given me so much ” He reached for your hand holding it tightly  while he pulled over to put all his attention back on you “ Even now, you even gave up a big portion of your life to grant me … us … Jimin. Which I can never repay even if I tried for the rest of my life ”

“ I … you just seem very tired lately and sometimes unhappy ” You finally confessed what had been worrying for the most time in the past few months of him constantly working and taking care of you at the same time. You felt like he would grow tired of you.

“ I have never been happier in my life than this moment, with you and with our Jiminie, and work … ” He paused, unsure if he should say this already or wait “ I’ve been working harder for our future, to compensate you for everything, not that I can and not that it would ever be enough ”

“ What ?” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“ I’ll show you tomorrow. Let’s go home for now, you’ve been walking around for quite sometime ” He started the car again “ You need to rest and forget about what happened … I’ll help you forget ”. Jungkook smirked nodging your shoulder.

“ you do realize I’m almost nine months pregnant right ?”

“ And your point ?”

“ Pervert ” You snorted.

“ You’re still as gorgeous as ever ”

~~

You woke up to a rustling sound of metal falling to the ground and judging by the sunlight eagerly spilling into the room; it was morning. You opened the window to let out the weird smell that accumulated in the room. It was similar to a burning scent. It was weird because you kept no food in the house because of your morning sickness then it turned into not keeping it there so you would have to spend that time together.

You heard the rustling once more and slowly made your way out. Jungkook goes to work early these days so you didn’t know what to think of the sudden noise. However, there he was, only in his sweatpants on while his shirt had been abandoned on the floor, shuffling through the kitchen like a lost puppy. You lost count already of how many time he burned his fingers just from the moment you stood by the door watching him, oblivious of your presence.

“ Why are you awake babe ? ” Jungkook sat next to you on the couch as you were watching the T.V, peacefully until now, later that night. “ Are you still upset about what happened in the shop ?”

“ No, kookie, I’m not. I knew I would meet her one day ” You sighed switching the volume down even more so the two voices wouldn’t mix in your head and turn into a headache you didn’t need.

“ I’m sorry ”

“ Stop apologizing” inching a little to rest your head on his shoulder.

“ Today was supposed to be special but I ruined it ”

“ I still enjoyed it so it’s okay ” You were mad, that much was obvious, but you couldn’t let it spoil it for you. You had been mad for too long, now you need to be happy.

“ I’ll make it right ! How about a late night snack ?” He shot up with overflowing energy and a bunny smile.

“ How about you stop moving every time I find a comfortable position ?” You glared but it quickly turned into a failed one when he giggled.

“ Sorry, love ” Jungkook moved the biggest pillow back where he sat before to let you lean on it “ Are you craving anything ? ”

“ I do … but you can’t make it. I don’t trust you enough. ” You chuckled.

“ Try me !”

“ Seaweed soup ” He suddenly looked drained with hunched shoulders and a frown.

“ Okay maybe I can’t ” Jungkook pouted as he slowly sat back down.

“ Y/N, why are you crying ?” Jungkook’s soft tone brought you back from your thoughts and you wiped away the tears you didn’t know were falling until he pointed it out “ Are you that touched by this ?” He smugly smirked.

“ It’s the hormones okay ?” You sniffled walking to him, he just shrugged turning around with a whisper “ yeah right ”.

“ You’ll get fired if you keep taking days off continuously ” You mumbled feeling the unfairness of it all, in fact Jungkook couldn’t get fired since he was the owner of his own company so he could just take how many days off he wanted, unlike you who was fired for throwing up on the job. Okay maybe you threw up on an important client but still.

You stopped behind him trying to backhug him but your pregnant self had other thoughts. You couldn’t even reach around past your belly to him.

“ I can’t even do this ” you sighed frowning “ Sorry ”

“ But I can ” Jungkook turned to look at you after turning off the fire and smiled. He would’ve called you cute if he knew you wouldn’t hit him for it so he just settled for changing positions with you and hugging you closely. “ You smell so nice ” Jungkook breathed out against your shoulder sealing his lips into deep kisses to your neck. You relaxed against him, leaning your head on his shoulder and sighing.

“ What happened to your shirt ?”

“ I spilled soup on it, it burned me so I threw it off ” He sounded like he was angry at the shirt more than at himself for spilling.

“ You really made seaweed soup ?” You arched an eyebrow, suspicious.

“ Well … hmm … I tried ?” That didn’t sound so convincing you thought as you broke away from him. “ Sit down, I’ll bring it to you ”

You moved to the table waiting with wide eyes, and a worried heart, for whatever poison he was about to feed you.

“ Okay this looks normal ” You spoke as you twirled your spoon around the suspicious liquid. Jungkook smiled widely with anticipation gesturing you to taste. You hesitantly did so, with caution because counting ramyun out jungkook was not to be trusted in the kitchen.

“ So ?” He impatiently said.

“ Maybe it only looks good ” You put your spoon down, fighting back a gag, and pushing the bowl to him “ Taste it ”

“ That’s so salty !” He screamed scrunching his face in disgust “ how could you eat that so normally ?”

“ I couldn’t hurt my baby’s feeling after all that effort, could I ?” You smiled and he stood up reaching over the table to capture your lips into a kiss.

“ You taste salty, go away ” You pushed him away licking your lips

“ You do too so shut up and kiss me ”

“ Forget about that, you told me you would show me why you’ve been so busy today ”

“ Right, I did ” His face lit up in a proud expression you haven’t seen since he got his last promotion to CEO “ Get ready, this will be good ”

~~

“ We’re here !” Jungkook yelled out opening the large but short wooden door that lead to a big garden.

“ And what is here ?” You asked following right behind him.

“ Our home ” He said with an air of utter proudness.

“ What ?” You stopped him to turn and look at you.

“ I wasn’t busy because it became hard to take care of you but ” he hooked his arm around your shoulder leading you towards the way-too-big-for-two-people-and-and-a-baby house “ It was because I was trying to get my hand on this”

“ You … Jungkook-ah …” Tears gathered in your ears and your voice was caught in your throat.

“ You don’t need to say anything. It wasn’t really that hard. And I wanted to do something for you ” He kissed you temple rubbing his hand over your belly “ For us ”

“ The second floor is ours, to live in but most importantly, the first floor ” He pointed at it and the space around it “ Can be turned into a coffee shop, if you want to ”

The walls were mostly made out of reflecting glass and opened onto the back garden. You followed Jungkook to tour it as he spoke about the many plans that he had in mind. Dogs, mainly dogs. You felt the swelling in your heart grow with each word as you kept your eyes on him wondering what you did to deserve it.

Jungkook stopped in front of the front door and glanced down at you with a witty expression.

“ Let me carry you in ” He giggled “ Like in the movies ”

“ Babe, I need to tell you this again, but I’m nine months pregnant ” You rolled your eyes at him “ I’m too heavy for you and I still need you in one peace ”

“ Please ”

“ Jungkook, no ”

“ Just one step ”

“ Jungko-ahh” His name turned into a painful gasp when you felt like your insides just did a full flip, then it just turned plain painful.

“ What ? What happened ?” He gripped both your arms in his firm hands, coming down to eye-level with you “ Does it hurt ?”

“ I … call Jin … ”

“ Why- ohmygodokayokay” Jungkook’s hand trembled as he saw that your water broke. He was prepared for this moment, well, he thought. When confronted with the reality that you were indeed about to give birth he panicked.

You took his arm, gripping it so hard that you were sure it will bruise but you couldn’t find it in you to really care as another wave of pain spread across you.

“ Car, now ” He said as he helped you down the stairs, slow enough for you not to hurt but fast enough so Jimin would be born in the garden of your house.

“ It hurts ” You chanted as he repeated for you to breath and that everything will be alright, you swore if he told you to bre-

“ Y/N, just breathe ”

“ I’m fucking breathing ! ” You screamed at him at full force unable to control your volume.

“ Okay but Jin told me to ”

“ I don’t care what he said, you better shut the fuck up or I’ll kill you ” You didn’t calm down until you were on the bed with everyone moving around quickly to get your prepared since in the words of your doctor “ The little one is eager to come out ” and Jungkook reappeared again, dressed in the same outfit as the other nurses.

“ Jungkook-ah, I’m scared ” You stuttered through heavy breath and excessive sweating.

“ I’m right here, everything is going to be okay ” He let you hold his hand as tightly as you wanted while he whispered words of encouragement with concern. Avoiding whatever was happening down there because he found himself lightheaded every time he glanced down.

~~

The sound of loud crying tore you both apart from the deep sleep you were in, just a few hours after you put Jimin to sleep, just when you could finally catch a glimpse of sleep. You groaned turning in the bed to meet Jungkook’s, just as frustrated as you, glance. You silently nodded before sitting up, both eyes half shut with exhaustion.

“ I’ll go ” Jungkook stood up removing the sheets from himself and making you lean back “ I’ll go ”

“ I can … ” He hushed you with his lips, cupping your face in the dark and shaking his head.

“ Go back to sleep, love.” He pat your head and smiled as you closed your eyes again.

“ I love you, kookie.” You said quietly as he walked out the room but he suddenly stopped and peeking back through the door.

“ I heard that. ”

“ I said it to be heard ” You laughed “ Go check on Jimin before he drowns himself in tears ”

“ I love you too ” He called back while hurrying to the other room.