Work Text:
I hate this stupid feeling of love.
Sometimes loving someone who is dear to you suddenly stops talking to you, I hate how he doesn't try talking to me anymore. He doesn't even try anymore.
It hurts so bad. Unrequited love hurts. I love him so much it hurts. I hate this. But i can't stop loving him.
Such love shouldn't exist, it hurts too much.
- Osamu Dazai's Thoughts/POV
The man unwraps his bandages revealing fresh, old and deep cuts , muttering to himself, "Ill stop soon."
Is this how people who hate pain cope? I feel so useless.
Osamu grabs a nearby blade, holding it over his already scarred arm, tears falling to his filthy and sticky blanket, wetting it more. He swipes the blade horizontally,
Again and
again,
again and
again.
I want him to love me. Like I do. Fate is so stupid, him being so casual to my feelings is so stupid. I hate him and I love him.
Drip..
Drip..
Blood suddenly drips to my bedsheet making my hurtful thoughts stop. The man spews, "Fuck, fuck, fuck. I went to deep." His vision blacking out, "Not yet. Too fucking soon." He speaks before passing out due to loss of blood.
.
.
.
.
Osamu wakes up to his wrist shaking with shocking pains, the aftermath of his self-harm,
"I can't keep doing this, I need to heal. Yet these cuts make me beautiful." He mumbles almost not audible in the shipping container where he lived in.
"I need to clean up this mess, before Chuuya breaks in and checks up on me."
.
.
.