Ruin the Friendship

In the pristine paradise of Caramoan, where jagged limestone cliffs meet turquoise waters, Morgan Lauzon has harbored a secret for five years: she is in love with her best friend, Avianna Alvarez.

Inspired by Taylor Swift’s song “Ruin the Friendship.”

Chapter 1: The Archipelago of Us

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

[Archived Chapter]

Notes:

Will upload the remaining chapters later today. Let me know your thoughts, please! <3

Chapter 2: Tides and Goodbyes

Notes:

Disclaimer: Some of the degree programs and university campuses mentioned in this story may not exactly correspond to the real offerings; they have been included for narrative purposes.

Chapter Text

[Archived Chapter]

Chapter 3: Whispers to the Karst

Chapter Text

[Archived Chapter]

Chapter 4: The Lagoon in Your Eyes

Chapter Text

[Archived Chapter]

Chapter 5: Epilogue

Notes:

And my advice is always answer the question—better that than to ask it all your life ;)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

[Archived Chapter]

Notes:

Thank you so, so much for reading Morgan and Avianna's journey. This fic was born from a feeling and a song, and it means everything to me that you've spent your time in their little corner of Caramoan. If their story touched your heart, I would be incredibly grateful if you could leave kudos. And if you have a moment to spare, I would love to hear your thoughts in a comment! Hihi. Let me know what moved you or which moment stayed with you.

Until the next story,
Nairobi

Series this work belongs to:

Part 1 of Island Series

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Achlys (Guest) on Chapter 1 Mon 27 Oct 2025 08:10AM UTC

Seated

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HeyItsMe (Guest) on Chapter 1 Mon 27 Oct 2025 08:43AM UTC

Iniwasan ko masaktan sa mangga… hindi naman cguro masakit tong pandecoco 😁

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1. nairobi_writes on Chapter 1 Tue 28 Oct 2025 08:51AM UTC
  
  Hindi po 😭
  
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i.am.kenjie (Guest) on Chapter 1 Mon 27 Oct 2025 09:35AM UTC

eeeehhh "should've kissed you anyway" grabe naman to, 1st page palang nakangiti na ko buong chapter

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J (Guest) on Chapter 1 Thu 30 Oct 2025 05:52AM UTC

SHARE KO LANG 😅

It all started during my college years.

I grew up in a Christian family — a very conservative one. I always knew, or thought I knew, that I was straight. That was my truth… until she happened.

It was the summer of 2016, going into my second year of college. That’s when our friendship began — within our circle of friends, the kind of group that just clicked. We spent most of our time together — eating after class, hanging out during breaks, talking about everything under the sun.

We teased each other about our campus crushes, even shared stories about our high school and elementary crushes. Life felt simple then.

By 2017, almost a year later, we had gotten a lot closer. I found myself opening up to her about things I never really told anyone — my worries, my doubts, my thoughts. It was strange because I wasn’t the type to share. But with her, it just felt… safe.

Every night, we had this routine — sending each other Bible verses before going to bed, followed by a simple “Goodnight.”
That’s how it started — quietly, innocently.

We got clingier over time. I told myself, “Ah, so this is what it feels like to have a best friend.”

But some nights, her messages felt… different. Like she was hinting at something. She never hid the fact that she was bisexual, and I never paid too much attention to it — not until our friends started teasing us.

They saw it — the way we acted around each other, the way we looked at each other. Our closeness was on another level. I laughed it off, thinking we were just best friends having fun.

Until one day, I caught myself thinking about her — out of nowhere.
Her laugh, her hugs, the way she got jealous or mad at me over the smallest things. The way she treated me differently from everyone else.

That’s when the confusion started.
A feeling so new, so unexplainable, that it scared me.

The teasing from our friends didn’t help either. One time, while we were all eating at a karenderya, they started teasing us again. I couldn’t take it — I got up and walked out. I needed to breathe. I needed to understand what was happening inside me.

Some time later, during one of our nightly routines — after sharing Bible verses — our conversation drifted into random topics, and I found myself asking, “Why did you look like you were jealous?”

Earlier that day, I had talked about my crush during dinner, and she suddenly went quiet. Of course I noticed — I always did.

That night, she confessed. She said she liked me.

My heart stopped for a second. I didn’t know what to say. I was scared — of what it meant, of what it would change. But deep down, I knew. I knew I liked her too. So I told her.

And just like that, everything changed.

But it wasn’t a fairytale.
I wasn’t out to my family. I didn’t even understand how to label what I was feeling. We agreed to keep it a secret — just between us and our circle of friends. They were the only ones who knew, and they gave us advice, reminded us to take risks if we believed it was worth it.

So we did.
We took the risk.
And for almost five years, we loved each other in silence.

Her family knew and supported her. Mine didn’t.
And while we were happy, that fear — the fear of being in a kind of love that our faith didn’t fully accept — it was always there.
It dug holes in us, slowly.

By 2021, we reached the breaking point.
We decided to end the relationship and go back to being friends.

She fell first.
But I fell harder.

The heartbreak was unbearable. We still lived together in the same apartment with our friends, and that made moving on nearly impossible.
Worse — she moved on first. With a guy.

It hurt — seeing her happy with someone else, even if deep down I knew our story had to end that way. Our beliefs, our families, the weight of everything — it was too much.

It took me almost two years to fully let go, to finally say I had moved on.

And yet, we’re still here.
Still friends. Still connected.
Our bond, though different now, is stronger than before.

Maybe we weren’t meant to last forever in the way I hoped, but maybe we were meant to change each other’s lives — to show what love could be, even in silence, even in secret.

Because even now, sometimes when I read my nightly verse, I still think of her —
the girl who taught me that love doesn’t always fit inside the lines of what we were taught,
but it can still be real.

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yeca (Guest) on Chapter 1 Thu 30 Oct 2025 06:09AM UTC

Since a lot of people are sharing their stories here, I’ll share mine too.

What if I said yes?
What if I let myself believe that maybe, this time, things would turn out differently?
What if I chose to risk the friendship in exchange for the chance
to experience something deeper, something real, with him?

Would we still be talking today?
Would he still be the first person I’d run to with my stories?
Would we still share the same stupid jokes and laugh like nothing could break us?

Or maybe we would’ve fallen apart anyway —
but at least we would’ve tried.

At least I wouldn’t be here
holding onto a hundred “what ifs,”
and wishing I chose courage
over fear.

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yeca (Guest) on Chapter 1 Thu 30 Oct 2025 06:11AM UTC

‎
‎
‎Back in senior high, there was this one friend who just… slipped into my life so naturally.
‎
‎We weren’t instantly close. At first, we were just part of the same group — same jokes, same games, same lunch table. But over time, he became the person I’d chat with until late at night. The person who would remember the smallest things about my day. The person I’d look for in the hallways without even realizing I was doing it.
‎
‎He made everything feel light. Safe. Familiar.
‎
‎We’d share playlists, laugh at inside jokes no one else understood, complain about teachers, and hype each other bago mag-present sa class. And every time something good happened, he was the first person I wanted to tell.
‎
‎It felt so normal because we were “just friends.”
‎
‎Then graduation came. We went to different paths — new school, new classmates, new stress. But he stayed. He still messaged me every day, still invited me to play games, still checked on me when I disappeared online too long.
‎
‎He made the distance feel like nothing changed.
‎
‎Then one random day — seriously random, like walang big build-up — he told me he liked me.
‎
‎Not as a friend.
‎Not joking.
‎Not in a “kung wala kang choice” way.
‎
‎He liked me. For real.
‎
‎And naparalyze ako. My mind went blank because I wasn’t prepared to hear those words from him. I remembered the last time: another guy from our circle, the one I thought could be more than a friend. Pero dumating yung pandemic, life crumbled, and that almost-relationship ended with more confusion than closure.
‎
‎That left me scared.
‎Scared to hope.
‎Scared to ruin another friendship.
‎Scared to risk being replaced again.
‎
‎So I did what fear told me to do.
‎
‎I pushed him away.
‎
‎I said I only liked him as a friend.
‎I lied that I still had feelings for the other guy.
‎I told him something I hoped would keep him from expecting anything more.
‎
‎But instead of staying… he chose to disappear.
‎
‎He thought I felt the same and just didn’t want to admit it.
‎And maybe he was right.
‎Maybe I did feel something — I just didn’t recognize it until he was gone.
‎
‎One day we were sending memes,
‎and the next day — blocked.
‎
‎No goodbye.
‎No closure.
‎Just silence where comfort used to be.
‎
‎I kept checking our old chats,
‎scrolling through our game screenshots,
‎replaying our jokes in my head —
‎wondering how a person who was once part of my everyday
‎could suddenly become a stranger.
‎
‎And the worst part?
‎
‎I lost him not because we tried and failed…
‎but because I was too afraid to try at all.
‎
‎
‎What if I said yes?
‎What if I let myself believe that maybe, this time, things would turn out differently?
‎What if I chose to risk the friendship in exchange for the chance
‎to experience something deeper, something real, with him?
‎
‎Would we still be talking today?
‎Would he still be the first person I’d run to with my stories?
‎Would we still share the same stupid jokes and laugh like nothing could break us?
‎
‎Or maybe we would’ve fallen apart anyway —
‎but at least we would’ve tried.
‎
‎At least I wouldn’t be here
‎holding onto a hundred “what ifs,”
‎and wishing I chose courage
‎over fear.

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bayotreaderr on Chapter 1 Fri 31 Oct 2025 11:57PM UTC

guys i ruined the friendship !! going 2 years :DD

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KronMeiOshi on Chapter 1 Sun 02 Nov 2025 03:58AM UTC

Di ko mabasa yung story 😢 blank

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Twiggy (Guest) on Chapter 2 Mon 27 Oct 2025 01:39PM UTC

Thor, need ba basahin yung dalawang naunang stories? Or keri na to?

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1. nairobi_writes on Chapter 2 Mon 27 Oct 2025 01:57PM UTC
  
  Hindi po need basahin 'yung mga nauna
  
  Last Edited Mon 27 Oct 2025 01:57PM UTC
  
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mkhyunz on Chapter 3 Tue 28 Oct 2025 05:00PM UTC

I just wanna say that this part reminded me of IkSong's confession scene form Hospital Playlist (now i miss them 😭😭😭)

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aiahqna on Chapter 4 Thu 30 Oct 2025 03:22AM UTC

‎Alam thor na experience k tong ganyan. hahaha back 2022, napunta ako sa ate k ulit(pinsan ni mama, but ate tawag k). yung asawa niya may pamangkin, I got to stay kay ate, sa bahay nila ng asawa niya. Yung pamangkin niya naman, nag transfer malapit don sa house na yon(di na ako mag drop kung ano place kasi baka may makakita). Sabi ni kuya don na lang din mag stay, para di na mag commute kasi hassle if manggaling pa sa kanila talaga. Then ayon we became roommates. We're both girls btw, ayon random food trips, nung una may mga sign, but ayaw ko mag assume. May incident na after namin kumain, pinaamoy niya bibig niya sa akin, and damit, imagine the distance and tension na naramdaman ko. Sometimes uuwi sya may pasalubong for me, like for me lang talaga. minsan nag tatampo ako may dala sya food, may red flags lang na mag date sya ng iba, like lalabas sila nung nakausap niya, tapos pag nag distance ako may way sya ng panunuyo, edi ako naman bibigay. then kapag ako gaganoon, nagagalit sya. for example yung pinsan niya nagkagusto rin sa akin(guy), tapos mag outing dapat kami tapos nung binanggit ko na gusto nung pinsan niya na kami na lang magkasama sa isang tent, di na pinatuloy. or pag may labas ako, nag aano sya labas din kami after ganoon. And normal b n nakaregister yung finger print namin sa phone ng isat-isa, alam k rin password niya. Nung nagpalit sya phone, na need sa fb nung pag nalimutan yung pass ako yung parang trusted person niya ganern. May time na sabi ko lipat na lang ako, and mag work sabi niya “wag mo naman ako iwan dito ”. Hindi ako umalis HAHAHA. Kapag nagkakasakit ako, inaalagaan niya ako. Pinag hahanda niya food ko and coffee. Imagine niyo na para kaming nag lalaro ng bahay-bahayan. Hinahayaan niya na hawakan k kamay niya, hugs and cuddle. Then isang beses nakita k usapan nila ng isa namin friend kasi nag pop yung notif don sa tablet niya(gamit ko that time), nag uusap sila gamit phone niya. yung convo is “kailan mo balak tanungin si (my name) about sa inyo? ” then di k na nabasa yung next kasi pinatay k na. Ayaw k ma-stress eh. Ayon after non, bday k nmn, nag joke sya na wala sya gift, sabi ko okay lang pero meron, plushie sya then akala k naman kakausapin niya na ako ganoon, pero lumipas ilang ano wala. binigyan niya rin ako jersey na may birthday ko ang number, naalala ko na may ibang nahingi non sa kanya, di niya binigay. palihim niya lang na binigay sa akin yon. magulo sya kasi alam ko naman mutual yung nararamdaman, but natakot both na mag risk.
‎
‎Okay na rin, masaya naman na lovelife ko, naalala ko lang yung nangyari na yon, story worthy sya. daming moments na, susunduin ko sya tapos mag chachat sya na "vid mo ako pag lapit ko” may pasalubong pala. may time na lumabas sya with someone and akala ko uuwi sya nang diretso, nalaman k lang kasi hinatid sya, di ako kumain non, kasi inantay ko sya. hindi nakain na di ako kasabay, nalaman niya na di pa ako nakain, nag order sya ng jollibee tapos sabi ko bukas ko na kainin, lagay na lang sa ref. pag pasok ko kuwarto, kasi naligo ako andon sa room namin yung food. kumain daw kami. then me and her friend had a conversation, this year lang “may something pala kayo ni ano” sabi ko “ha, saan mo naman napulot yan, tagal na yan”.
‎
‎
‎plot twist yung friend ko and yung roommate ki sila na ngayon. nagkaroon pa kami ng confrontation nung friend ko n, akala kasi niya galit ako or what. ako pa nga nag insist na kapag magkasama kami, they can be sweet with each other. tapos inano niya ako na di ko raw mapipilit yung tao kung ayaw sa akin, gusto ko sana sumagot na “diba ikaw yung nag insist na umamin ako and naki-alam ka nung di ako nag sabi don agad sa tao. ”
‎hindi kasi ako umamin directly and sya yung sinasabihan ko nung nangyayari sa amin, but hindi lahat. kilig moments lang ganoon. di ako nag amin kasi ayaw ko mailang yung tao and ayaw ko na ma pressure sya into liking me just because magkasama kami sa iisang lugar, bahay, kuwarto. i don't want her na makaramdam na may obligasyon sya sa akin, kung ano man pinakita ko, that's because I care for her that time. ang ano niya magsalita na para bang alam niya kung ano nangyayari behind close doors. I'm over it naman na, kasi i realized na mas better na di naging kami officially. Mind you, sya rin yung same person na nag tanong kung kailan ako kakausapin nung tao about sa situation namin. Para bang nag iilusyon ako, kung pwede lang mag drop ng ss ng conversation dito nag drop na ako for proofs. chariz

Ayon, I don't recommend yung gantong trope. HAHAHAHAH

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benny (Guest) on Chapter 4 Thu 30 Oct 2025 01:29PM UTC

Hi. No idea why I'm doing this but I just want to share my experience, because I did ruin the friendship.

We were batchmates both in JHS and SHS so we're kinda in the same circle, we have friends who are also friends but we never knew each other's names. But then, we became blockmates in college, online class, palagi kami magka-group sa mga PETA and other activities, so medyo dumalas ang pag-uusap. Then came 2022 elections, I was a volunteer, she was too, sobrang unexpected na magkasama kami sa isang bus during one of the rallies, that's the first time we met na alam namin ang pangalan ng isa't isa. Came the upset, all the emotions combined during and after the election led us to each other's inbox and we became friends.

Then came face to face classes, I was actually looking forward to seeing her kasi we vibed so well, and she's really kind and grabe ang humor. So we did meet coz we're blockmates, another unexpected thing happened when my circle decided to collide with hers. Our friends became one, we became closer kasi kami yung "bridge" na nagc-connect sa dalawang grupo. It was like that til 4th year, and I can assure everyone that we are friends, I never felt anything more than being friends til 4th year.

Thesis really do make people crazy because one random sunny afternoon she entered our class late, parang may light switch na nag-on sa akin at biglang nagbago ang tingin ko sa kanya. I liked her then. During thesis, OJT, graduate reqs, I liked her. And fuck I don't know what to do. So I did what most sane people do, hide. Hide it 'til you make it, hide it 'til you make yourself believe it's not love you're feeling.

It became hidden, we both graduated with flying colors, became closer post-grad and job hunting, still hidden. Ang tagal ko rin tinago, we both got a job, duwag pa rin ako.

Until I realized I will never move on from her hanggat hindi ko nasasabi 'to sa kanya, so I said it. It was the most terrifying thing in the world, and I was never terrified about her answer, but the consequences of me being honest. To tell you honestly, it was liberating, para akong nakahinga ng maluwag, yung pakiramdam na parang nawala bigla yung nakabarang sipon sa ilong mo? ganun. Para akong nabunutan ng tinik sa dibdib.

It was also guilt because It felt so good saying it to her, but then by saying it meant dumping everything on her all at once. I was guilty. Took her a while to reply, but sadly, she never felt the same. We were friends, of course I knew that. She was so gentle and honest to me to the point that I almost forgot I was being rejected, and I suddenly understood myself why I liked that person. She's the most gentle, kindest, she's basically a sunshine, she's every positive thing in this world and I really really hope the universe will return the love she gives ten-fold.

Ayun, may mga bagay at tao talaga tayong gugustuhin pero hindi pwede sa atin, yung akala natin perfect na, match na, pero hindi pala. Pero sa totoo lang, kung bibigyan ako ng pagkakataon magmahal ulit, gusto ko siya pa rin. Siya ulit.

Umamin ka, aminin mo. Kasi dadating at dadating ang panahon na wala ka nang chance para gawin yon. Isipin mo lang in 3 years, may ipapakilala sya sa 'yo, taong nagpapasaya sa kanya, maiisip mo, "ilang taon na kitang napapasaya, bakit hindi na lang ako?" pero wala ka nang chance sabihin yan. Kaya aminin mo na ngayon. Ruin that friendship. Trust me, all that what ifs, gone. What could have beens? Prevented. Confess and find out.

Ikaw naman, I always hoped you find courage on mine, I hope you're happy and I always hope you will find someone who'll love you more than the stars. Thank you for being my safe space, I miss you as a friend and as my kasama mag-crash out over a fan fic. I finally let you go, wait mo na lang makausad, in time.

Nabunutan ako ng tinik sa dibdib pero ikaw ang bubog ko habang buhay.

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DepressedInkedSoul on Chapter 5 Tue 28 Oct 2025 12:23AM UTC

Naalala ko pa noon. I met my best friend back in first year high school—2004. She was from the South, and I was from the North. Pareho kaming ipinadala ng mga magulang namin sa capital city ng aming probinsya para mag-aral. Nag-click kami agad kasi pareho kaming taga-barrio at mahilig sa mga weird at jologs na bagay.

Pagdating ng third year, 2006, we decided to level up our friendship into a romantic relationship. Everything felt new and exciting—until early 2008, when we were about to graduate. That’s when we realized we wanted different things: different courses, different schools, different paths. Yun ang naging dahilan kung bakit namin piniling tapusin ang relasyon.

Two months before graduation, we ended things. It was a mutual decision, pero pareho kaming sobrang nasaktan. Hindi na kami nagpansinan hanggang graduation day. We made sure never to cross paths that day—even if there were about 200+ of us graduating, we still managed to keep our distance.

Pagdating ng college, life went on. Pero isang araw, second year na kami noon, something unexpected happened. She got into an accident near my school. She called a friend for help—our common friend. Unfortunately, that friend was out of town.

Sabi ng friend namin, “Wait, I’ll call ****. Maybe she’s in the area.”
Sabi ng best friend ko, “No! Please, wag.”
Pero sabi ni common friend, “I think sign na ‘to—maybe it’s time you two reconcile, kahit bilang magkaibigan ulit.”

Wala siyang nagawa. Tinawagan ako ni common friend, at sakto, I was nearby. I immediately went to where she was, helped her, and brought her to the hospital to get checked. It was pouring rain so hard that night.

And from that moment, slowly, we regained our friendship. Over the years, we met different people, had our own relationships—but we remained friends. The love and care never really went away. We chose to go back to being best friends, because this way, we could keep each other forever—without losing what we had again.

Now, she lives abroad. She’s built a life there. We still keep in touch. Every time she comes home to the Philippines, she stays at my place. Our friends still tease us sometimes—and we still find it a little awkward. But deep down, we know—we’ve loved each other in all the ways that matter.

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1. nairobi_writes on Chapter 5 Tue 28 Oct 2025 12:52AM UTC
  
  Thank you for sharing a piece of your soul with us. It’s a reminder that some loves don’t end. They just change form so they can last forever.
  
  I hope sharing this story brought you a little light, depressedinksoul. Your name speaks of a deep feeling, but your words show a truly beautiful and resilient heart. Please take care of it.
  
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2. 1. DepressedInkedSoul on Chapter 5 Tue 28 Oct 2025 01:29AM UTC
    
    Thank you for everything that you do. For sharing your great stories. ❤️ Hoping to buy your book. Hirap kasi laging sold out. And I’m here pa pati sa Visayas so hirap to secure one. 🥲 Congratulations, btw! 🫶🏻
    
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Aia Aaia (Guest) on Chapter 5 Tue 28 Oct 2025 12:37AM UTC

The story of Morgan and Avi shows that friendship truly is the strongest foundation of a lasting relationship. After reading “Ruin the Friendship,” I realized that it’s better to take the risk than to live your whole life wondering what if and what could have been. It’s like taking an exam — you make sure not to leave any question unanswered, even if you’re uncertain of your answer. It’s about searching for clarity amidst your million questions. Because if you never try to figure things out, you’ll only end up lost, filled with unspoken thoughts and regrets. It’s always better to take a chance than to look back wishing you did.

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1. nairobi_writes on Chapter 5 Tue 28 Oct 2025 08:53AM UTC
  
  💯 Thank you for this!
  
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jrav on Chapter 5 Tue 28 Oct 2025 02:19AM UTC

Every time you come out with a story, I’m immediately sat and invested 🤍 thank you always

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1. nairobi_writes on Chapter 5 Tue 28 Oct 2025 08:52AM UTC
  
  Thank you so much. 🥺
  
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neglectedsendbutton on Chapter 5 Tue 28 Oct 2025 04:01AM UTC

Wow! Nairobi writes is indeed back. Whenever I wanted to find good reads umuuwi ako sa works mo, author. Idk but there is something talaga the way you tell your stories that amazed me. You don't just write it for the plot — you let us feel. You're letting us inside the story. Keep writing, author. You're brilliant! Congratulations pala sa success ng OYH book version. You deserve it!

PS. Di ako umabot sa OYH paper back and hardbound. Is there a batch 2 pa ba?

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1. nairobi_writes on Chapter 5 Tue 28 Oct 2025 08:52AM UTC
  
  Thank you so much for your kind words! Nakabili ka ba kanina ng paperback? Nag-drop ako 😔
  
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2. 1. neglectedsendbutton on Chapter 5 Wed 29 Oct 2025 01:26AM UTC
    
    You're always welcome, Author. Your works healed and inspired a lot of people kaya keep the fire burning! I may not know you personally but I've heard a lot of authors do experience burn outs, stress, etc but don't let the noise block your vision to success. You have a lot of readers that supports you, Author Nairobi. Mahal ka nila and I am sure they are proud of you as I am. :)
    
    -Yes, naka purchase ako ng oyh book. Thank you!
    
    Last Edited Wed 29 Oct 2025 01:27AM UTC
    
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GUESTo kong magsumbong sayo (Guest) on Chapter 5 Tue 28 Oct 2025 09:55PM UTC

Morgan and Avianna, pinalabas niyo ang pagiging silent reader ko. After reading this, all the what ifs that I've buried years ago came back flooding my thoughts and I started my day crying. Author, pa rant lang please.

Hey, You. 3 years ago, I was a crying mess. 3 years ago, I was begging you to explain why you do such things that would confuse me and then left me hanging.

You were my best friend, kakampi kita sa lahat ng bagay. But everything change the moment I decided to be brave. We were young, innocent, and I thought we're in love. Turns out, ako lang pala.

You led me on, gave me hope, gave me enough signs for me to believe that maybe.. maybe there is something — so I confessed. But you dropped the "maybe you're just infatuated, na overwhelm ka lang sa sweetness. Straight ako. " line on me. So what am I then during the times we acted like lovers? A fvcking experiment? All our friends knew. All our friends saw how we treat each other. Nakakabingi na nga yung mga tanong na "kayo na ba?" then all of a sudden it's a one sided love lang pala.

Maybe I read the line too much. Maybe it was my fault all along. Maybe I did read it wrong — the sleep calls, the endearments, the giggles we shared, the tears we wiped from each others faces when the world decided to be cruel on us, the whispered I love yous whenever I walk you home, the stolen forehead kisses, the way we flooded each other's phone gallery with our faces, the plates during meals, the little fights we had when we get jealous over someone, damn... ang dami pa eh, the list could go on and that really made me believe that there could be an US.

What if I never confessed?
What if I tried to hold back? Played the games you play.
What if I didn't fall in love with my best friend?

But I guess some things are really better left unsaid.

Maybe if I didn't confessed that night, I get to keep you — keep US.

PS. I still love you tho, even if it hurts.

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1. nairobi_writes on Chapter 5 Wed 29 Oct 2025 11:15AM UTC
  
  Hi, GUESTo. I hope one day you stop blaming yourself for simply loving deeply. You didn’t read it wrong, ok? You just loved someone who wasn’t ready to be loved the way you did.
  
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DepressedInkedSoul on Chapter 5 Wed 29 Oct 2025 03:43AM UTC

Hi Thor,

It’s me again!

Share ko lang—promise, this will be the last.

I’ve been your silent follower for a while now. I used to follow you on X using my personal account (which I’ve since deactivated permanently). Recently, I created a new account—and, of course, you were one of the first people I followed again.

So eto na nga. After reading your “Ruin The Friendship” AU, all the memories of my best friend and I came flooding back. From the time we became best friends, to falling in love, to breaking up, to being strangers for two years—then friends again—and now, slowly, becoming like best friends once more.

I remember it vividly: third year college, first quarter of 2010, when she finally said yes to the guy who had been courting her for more than a year. I was genuinely happy for her then. She’d been single for two years—after we broke up, all she focused on were her studies and a bit of modeling on the side. I was happy she’d found someone to take care of her, someone to love her. Around that time, I was also getting to know someone who later became my partner.

Fast forward to 2011—my best friend represented their municipality in one of the biggest provincial pageants. She got so busy balancing her studies and pageant preparations. Naturally, she had less time for her boyfriend, though she thought he understood her priorities. She eventually won the pageant, which opened up many doors—corporate opportunities, modeling gigs, even a scholarship for a Master’s degree.

When she came home to celebrate her victory with us—her friends and her boyfriend—everything seemed perfect. Until a few days later, she caught him making out with his ex of five years. She confronted him, and he admitted he still loved his ex.

She called me right away. I picked her up, and we talked. Hearing her sob as she told me everything broke my heart. She truly believed he was “the one.” But what crushed me more was when, between sobs, she asked, “What happened to us? What went wrong? Why did we allow ourselves to end up like this?”

I couldn’t answer. I didn’t know the answers either. I just held her as we both cried. I stayed with her that night and brought her home after. She broke up with him and moved on with her life.

We both graduated in 2012. She started working as a Junior Account Manager in one of the country’s biggest mobile companies. I became a copy editor and was still with the same person I met back in 2011—though she changed over time. To cut the long story short, I followed her to Manila because she wanted us to settle down there. I even planned a surprise visit. I booked a flight without telling her. But when I arrived at her condo—voilà—she was with someone else, and they’d already been living together for four months.

That was early 2014. I tried to talk to her, to ask why—but all she said was, “Hindi na kita mahal. Hindi na kita kailangan.”
I didn’t make a scene. I simply turned around and walked away. I checked into the nearest hotel because I didn’t have the strength to go farther.

Inside the room, I broke down. I called my best friend. I poured everything out. She cried with me over the phone, then told me, “Don’t do anything stupid. I’m coming there. I’ll take the first flight to Manila tomorrow.”

And she did. By 7 AM the next day, she was already at the hotel lobby. By midday, we checked out because she said we needed a “soul-searching trip” to Baguio. Well, it turned into more of a drinking trip than soul-searching—but it helped. After four days, we went home and moved on with our lives.

We both chose to stay single. Work kept us busy. Eventually, she got promoted and was transferred abroad—North America. I stayed here in the Philippines. We still visit each other when we can. And though we both know that the love and care are still there, we chose to keep things this way. Because if we take the risk again, and it falls apart once more, we might end up strangers for good—and that’s a pain neither of us can bear.

Ang duwag namin, no? But maybe, this time, being cowards is our way of keeping each other—somehow. Afraid that if we try again, we’ll destroy the only piece of love that still feels safe.

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secret (Guest) on Chapter 5 Wed 29 Oct 2025 11:01AM UTC

entry ko HAHAHA PWEDE NA RIN MAGING AU (sana di niya makita 'to 🤞🤞🤞)

I loved this girl for seven years. It started back in grade school — we weren’t even in the same section, but we talked every single day. Through chats, late-night calls, even the most random conversations. It felt normal back then, but somewhere along the way, I fell for her.

I didn’t tell her. I couldn’t. We were both girls, and I was closeted while she was straight. So I kept it to myself — all the feelings, the “what ifs,” the tiny moments that meant everything only to me.

Years passed. Then one day, out of nowhere, she messaged me. “Bigla lang kita naisip.” After so long of not talking, that one line brought everything back. We talked again for a few days, like nothing changed.

Then I confessed. I told her how long I loved her, how everyone noticed except her — how dense she was not to see it. She laughed and said, “Wag bumoses pag di umamin.”

I remember freezing at that. I didn’t even know what to feel. I thought about it for days — would anything have changed if I confessed earlier? Probably not. She’s straight. I was just a friend.

After that, we slowly stopped talking again. Just the usual birthday greetings once in a while.

Then one day, I saw her posts — sad, vague, like she was going through something. I got worried, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask. So I wrote instead. I poured it all out in a letter on Medium, titled “A letter from me to you that you probably won’t ever see.”

It said:

“It’s been years, but I still quietly see you. One silent sign of your sadness behind the screen, and suddenly, I’m back-rushing to you in thought, wondering if you’re alright. I don’t speak. I don’t reach out. But I care — still care. Softly. Gently. Silently. Like I always have.”

Then weeks later, I saw another one of her sad posts. And this time, I couldn’t stop myself. I messaged her:
“are you okay? I’ve been seeing your posts.”

It got delivered — August 24. Until now, it’s still there. No reply.

That night, I wrote again on Medium. I titled it “Another letter from me to you I’d leave unsent.”

It said:

“There… I asked if you were okay. I asked because I couldn’t stop myself from worrying. The more I tried to hold it back, the more it lingered in me, until I couldn’t help it anymore. So I asked. And now I’m just here, waiting for your reply. But even if you never answer, I still hope you’re okay.”

Weeks later, I saw her story again. A picture with her boyfriend. A sweet message for their monthsary. She looked happy.

And I hated that I still cared.

Because even after all these years, after all the silence and distance,
she still holds a corner of my heart no one else has touched.
And maybe… no one ever will.

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1. nairobi_writes on Chapter 5 Wed 29 Oct 2025 11:14AM UTC
  
  Hi, anon. I hope one day you find the kind of love you’ve always given.
  
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2. secret (Guest) on Chapter 5 Wed 29 Oct 2025 12:15PM UTC
  
  i want to add that just recently, I saw her TikTok repost. It said she wanted “the kind of love that stays — gentle, and quiet.”
  I lingered there for a while, staring at the screen, wondering why would she post that?
  Is she not being treated right? Is she sad again?
  
  I didn’t scroll. I just stayed there — silent.
  Then I whispered, as if afraid she might somehow hear it through the screen,
  “I’ve been giving that kind of love to you for years… if only you ever looked my way.”
  
  :)
  
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E.N.D. (Guest) on Chapter 5 Wed 29 Oct 2025 04:27PM UTC

This reminds me of my past. I once had a bestfriend too whom I fell in love with. Out of jealousy, nagkaroon ng confrontation and we end up confessing na we both feel the same way pala. We were so in love and I know that she knows how genuine the feelings are.

She was closeted, her family knows that we're bestfriends. I'm always there sa kanila. We always spend time there together but her Ates knew that we are beyond that kahit di namin sabihin. Only her mom had no idea.

It's not always a happy day for us, we fought sometimes too. We were so young back then and though I was immature pa that time, but we managed to stay together for five long years and I thought we would stay together far more than that. Until, someone told her mom about us.

We met in a choir so everyone around us is kind of religious. And wlw is not really easily accepted before. Since then, hindi na ko nakakapunta sa kanila. Naging strict sa kanya lalo kapag malalaman na magkikita kami. We weren't able to see each other more often and that's when everything started to fall apart. Day after day I just felt like I'm constantly begging for her time na just to see me. She has full of dreams and loves her family specially her mom so much. So I understand that she's torn if susuway ba just to see me or not. Days, weeks passed and I got tired of waiting. Waiting for someone na hindi ko alam kung darating pa.

Until my birthday came, I was expecting her to at least greet me in the morning but there's none. Hapon na siya nagtext. I was hoping. Still hoping she would ask me to see her and celebrate my birthday with her. But all I received was a plain Happy Birthday. I just stared at it for too long. I didn't respond. I still waited until 10pm for her to initiate and tell me na magkita sa meeting place namin pero walang dumating. It felt like I'm holding the last few inches of the rope. then, I let go. That's the time I told myself na that's enough for me. That's enough waiting. I just told her na lang na we'll stop na and she didn't argue na din.

I just got tired of waiting but didn't have any ill feelings towards her cause I know she's just choosing what's best for her that time and seeing her now achieving her dreams. I'm genuinely happy for her.

We ruined the friendship, fell in love and we took the risk the difference lang, the situation is hard for us and we lack courage to face everything back then. So now, I lost both my lover and my bestfriend.

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Ruin the Friendship

nairobi_writes

Summary:

Chapter 1: The Archipelago of Us

Notes:

Chapter Text

Notes:

Chapter 2: Tides and Goodbyes

Notes:

Chapter Text

Chapter 3: Whispers to the Karst

Chapter Text

Chapter 4: The Lagoon in Your Eyes

Chapter Text

Chapter 5: Epilogue

Notes:

Chapter Text

Notes:

Series this work belongs to:

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