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To 007n7, love had been something that could be easily used as a tool. Still, do not get him wrong, he loved Noli like the moon loved the sun; from a distance and while using him from his light. Because just like how roses had thorns, 007n7's love had sharp parts shooting through Noli's hands whenever he held them and holding him in place, compliant. He was his partner, in everything. And that meant giving and taking - even if 007n7 did most of the taking. He still gave enough, his body, his soul, his attention. There was one thing he still wanted but didn't take yet, though.
The voidstar, something so powerful that people were drenched in fear when someone even mentioned the item. It originated as an item made for administrators, but was turned against them soon enough. While it was made to patch up backdoors, something that could create could just as easily destroy - in every sense of the word. He would find and take it himself, if he was sure it would do him no harm. But, that was the one thing he wasn't fully sure of. So, he would rather have it hurt someone else than have it hurt him; he truly was selfish like that.
"Hey, Nols?" 007n7 started as he rested his head on the other's shoulder from behind, wrapping his arms around him. Noli's mask had been discarded somewhere before he started cooking, and the hood of his cloak was down to reveal his white hair (something that surprised 007n7 when they first grew close. He wasn't sure what he expected, but not this.). He pushed himself closer against the other, closing his eyes for just a moment. For a moment, something real seemed in reach, but 007n7 knew that he couldn't stomach the thought of actually loving someone.
"Yeah, Sev?" Noli replied, and 007n7 could feel his eyes on him for just a moment before he focused back on the pan in front of him. 007n7 saw the slight flush on his face and knew he would get what he wanted - or he at least had a chance to. Noli was so, so easy. 007n7 could just ask him oh-so nicely and he had a big, fat chance to get his way. It was simply how they functioned, a simple song and dance with swords and daggers, until Noli's blood stained 007n7's hands. He would never be able to wash the red off, and maybe he didn't want to. It would be a grim reminder, but it would still be a reminder of the fact that he had power.
"I heard people talk about the Voidstar some more," 007n7 said, head still resting on the other's shoulder, his warm breath pooling on Noli's neck. 007n7 could feel the other shiver underneath him, and like a puppet master he kept pulling on the strings. "Wonder what we could do with it if we had it."
We, we, we, because this was for the good of both of them. If they had it, they could get even higher, no admin could catch them (not that they could now, but it was the thought that counted!). The silence hung between them, cold and heavy like it always did when 007n7 brought this up. Unknown, dangerous, something else entirely. Reaching for the Voidstar would be like reaching for the sun, though. Burning his hand, skin crackling as the flames consumed it. But as long as 007n7 didn't burn, he wouldn't mind. Sacrifices had to be made, even if some pathetic part deep inside of him wished that it was someone else.
"Well, keep wondering," Noli said, focusing back on the dinner he was making. His voice was glitched, warped, but only slightly. 007n7 liked it, he supposed, it made him recognizable in a crowd. "You know how I feel about this, Seven. It's unneeded in our current situation."
"Nols," 007n7 tried to reason, "C'mon, don't you know how hard the admins are trying to catch us. What would you do if they did, and we were sent to the banlands to rot. Something that would be so avoidable. Do you want that to happen?"
"No," Noli said quickly, and 007n7 could see them falling back into the rhythm they always did. But with every lyric added to the song they were dancing to, with every rhyme, 007n7 got closer to his goal. The rhythm of the song changed and warped into something else with every step, and someone who's confused, who's losing their footing, was easier to shape and form into something useful. Which was exactly what 007n7 needed. "But think about it, we don't fully know what it can do."
"It can give us so much power," 007n7 started, gently turning Noli around by his shoulders. "We could have the world, Nols."
"But we already do!" Noli bursted, looking at 007n7 with something so close to fear in his eyes that it almost shocked 007n7 himself. His voice was glitching more as he spoke, and 007n7 knew he was so, so close. "We do have the world, Seven! We can get away with everything already, so how dare you dredge up all my fears to try and convince me into doing something so reckless."
"I'm not trying to convince you, Noli. I'm simply trying to have a conversation," 007n7 said as he stepped back, moving a bit away from Noli. His eyes remained firmly on the other though, as if he was trying to hold him down with his gaze and his gaze only. The way Noli broke so beautifully as 007n7's eyes remained on him made him seem like the finest pieace of art, a melody unbroken - one that 007n7 wished to repeat forever as he drowned in his mistakes. "But it seems like you don't want to have one right now, so I suppose I'll leave."
"No," Noli said, oh so careful with his voice. 007n7's goal was in sight now - still too far away to touch, but he was almost there, almost. What, at first, felt like reaching for the sun - untouchable, so far away, and his hands would burn if he held onto it - was now in reach. 007n7 just had to reach a bit further, step on a few more people to grab it. What he had been working for, what he had been trying to reach, was finally close enough. So, no matter how Noli reacted, no matter what happened, 007n7 would get what he wanted. He always did.
Even if others burned in his journey to reach the sun, all that would matter to 007n7 was that he reached it. It would be better if others burned instead of him, because he was useful. He had a purpose. Others couldn't see it, blinded by the chaos, but 007n7 had all he needed in life because of himself. He didn't need anyone for that, it was simply how he was raised. Self sufficiency was a good trait to have, and maybe it was all 007n7 had. And that was fine. He was strong enough to make sure he didn't burn, and that was all he needed.
The fire kept others away, and those foolish enough to step close got burned.
Noli was destined to burn, but 007n7 felt like he knew that. He knew that the flames would consume him sooner or later, but he still stayed like he could put out the fire. Like he could fix 007n7. And for a while, maybe he could have. Maybe 007n7 could have been fixed, but he didn't want to. Maybe he could be less mean, less of an awful person if he had allowed himself to be fixed, but he didn't, and he wouldn't. Maybe the roaring of the fire was actually the thing that kept him going. What if all he needed was gasoline?
"No?" 007n7 echoed back at Noli, tilting his head. "So you're willing to talk like an adult now?"
Noli looked awfully embarrassed and that was exactly where 007n7 wanted him. If he was embarrassed, he would finally walk into the trap. 007n7 had been setting it up for weeks, months - maybe even longer, he wasn't keeping track - and now he finally would be able to use it. He would finally see if the wait was worth it all, or if he wasted his time on Noli. If it was the latter, it would be truly upsetting; he had grown quite fond of the other. But he could easily get rid of that fondness, push it back into his mind with the rest of them.
"Do you even have a plan?" Noli asked, turning down the gas and letting the pot simmer slowly. "On how to get the Voidstar? Or is this another one of your impulsive ideas."
"Of course I have a plan!" 007n7 replied, honestly, he was quite offended by Noli's words. How dare he suggest that 007n7 wouldn't have planned ahead properly! What a foolish idea, but that was just was 007n7 expected. "Do you have a moment to sit down?"
"Only if your plan isn't foolish."