Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Joel woke up on a random Wednesday morning, the scent of Cherry Blossoms and lush leaves flooding his senses. It was at that moment that he decided to finally tell Etho that he liked him.

He wasn’t one to usually have crushes on people, he was never the romantic type in high school, just stayed single most of the time. He only had one girlfriend, that of whom was Lizzie, at the end of school they mutually agreed to call it quits for college. But they are still good friends now.

Joel was happy alone, until the life series began.

The games forced him to create new friends and alliances. That was the only good thing about them, he got to make friendships that would last forever. But then, Double Life started.

When Grian announced that everyone would be tied to a soulmate for a whole season, he wasn’t really happy with it at first. In Joel’s head, this just meant that he could be stuck with Jim the whole season. Until he realised he and Etho were soulmates.

Etho wasn’t the same as everyone else in the server. Sure, he had the rage and bloodthirsty need to kill on red life, but he was also gentle and kind. He listened when Joel vented about feeling lonely all the time, especially in these games. He let Joel cry on his shoulder when the ship was burnt down.

And then, they shared that one special moment.

They were both stuck in the lava trap, seconds away from dying. Joel looked at Etho with tears in his eyes, and said, “I love you, Etho.”. It was pretty corny, but then it wasn’t so bad when Etho pulled down his mask, and kissed him, just as they both died.

And then here we are, 3 years after double life ended, and Joel was still yearning for Etho.

Joel was now on Hermitcraft, and he had spent all his time working on his base. But everyone was taking a small break from building to just chill for a whole week. Joel had no idea what to do.

And then he realised it was finally time to write this letter.

Joel started getting paper and a quill out, he decided he was going to be professional about it. He then got a text on the comms.

XisumaVoid: Hey everyone, just letting you all know that we are having a small catch up at Grian’s base tonight, thought it would be fun to see everyone together again :)

Grian: and that means no messes, i know what you people are like…

Skizzleman: No need to be rude!

Shit, that might get in the way, Joel thought. He then decided that he’ll mail the letter to Etho, hoping he would check the mailbox in time before the party. Then they could talk about it in person.

Joel turned off his watch, and took a deep breath. He knew it might be a hard letter to write, but if he did it now, he wouldn’t have to keep holding on to his feelings.

So he started writing…

Dear Etho,

You probably didn’t expect any letters today, who knows. But I'm here instead, because I want to admit my feelings.

It's been over three years since Double Life, and I still can't go a day without thinking about what happened right before our final death. You know what happened, I know what happened, but we still haven’t talked about it.

You see, that one kiss we shared actually meant a lot to me, more than it should have. I think about it every time I see you, that one moment where our lips touched. What I’m trying to say is that, I want to be more than friends.

I mean, would it really hurt? Everyone already ships us, it would make sense really. Unless you don’t want to, which is totally fine.

I just needed to get this off my chest, it was there for too long.

If you want to talk to me further, just come up to me at the catch up tonight and we can have a private talk about it.

Like i said back then,

I love you.

Sincerely,
Joel Smallishbeans

Joel folded up the letter and put it into an envelope. He headed out to the Mail system and grabbed Etho’s stamp.

He thought about what he was doing for a second. Really thought.

Was this the right decision? Will this work out for him?

There was only one way to find out.

Chapter Text

The day went by slowly. Joel was counting down the hours until the party began. He was ridden with anxiety. What if Etho rejected him? What if he didn’t say anything at all? That would be worse.

The party started at 6pm, Joel arrived around 5:30 to help Grian get things ready.

Once he got there, everyone else from Magic Mountain was there. Joel greeted them all and started putting out drinks and tables.

6pm came and people started showing up. Everyone was getting together, having fun and talking about recent builds, projects, animals and pranks. Joel however was watching every entrance.

Etho still hadn’t arrived yet. He wasn’t the only one that was late, but this made Joel worry anyways.

It was 6:15, Joel was having a conversation with Gem about the recent prank statues he had put up, till he spotted him.

Cleo, Bdubs and Etho all arrived at the same time. Cleo was talking to Bdubs about the next life series Grian told everyone about, and Etho was just, well, there.

None of them lived close together, well Etho and Cleo kind of do, but Bdubs lives far away. Although they could have just met up on their way to the party.

Joel was overthinking things too much. But then, Etho and Joel met eyes.

He didn’t look mad, not sad either, he couldn’t tell how he was feeling. No one could ever read Etho. As quick as the moment started it finished as the group moved through the small crowds of people saying their hellos.

Joel got incredibly distracted by this, and Gem noticed that.

“Why are you looking at Etho like that?” She said, confused.

“It’s nothing, I just…”

He didn’t know how to explain it to Gem.

What could he say? Etho and Gem were really close, he didn't know if Gem would be okay with Joel confessing his feelings.

Joel pulled Gem into a quiet corner away from everyone else.

“Okay, so I may or may not have sent a letter to Etho telling him how much I love him.”

“WHAT??” She almost yelled before Joel got her to quiet down.

“That is insane, I didn’t know you liked him!” She laughed.

“It’s a long story, but has he said anything to you about it?” Joel asked anxiously.

“Nope, I didn’t even know. Oh my god this is just like when Grian and Scar started dating!”

Joel sighed, this wasn’t how he thought the night would turn out, but maybe Etho just hasn’t found the time to talk to him just yet.

The party went on, Joel tried to mask his anxiety but did struggle. Then, while he was talking to Scar about his train, someone tapped him on the shoulder.

It was Etho.

‘Hey guys, sorry for interrupting, can I talk to Joel for a second?”

He froze.

Joel glanced at Scar for a second, he looked like he didn’t mind. Joel then glanced at Etho, who once again, was impossible to read.

“Uh- Sure! I’ll see you later Scar!”

Scar waved goodbye at Joel and walked over to Grian to chat.

Joel looked back at Etho and gave him a look saying ‘Follow me’. And so Joel did.

They walked through crowds and ended up in a smaller area that was behind one of Grian’s buildings.

Joel had a bit to drink earlier that night, he wasn’t fully drunk, but he was a bit tipsy.

Etho took a breath before beginning to speak. Joel’s stomach was doing backflips. He was incredibly nervous.

“Look Joel, I got your letter. And I want to say, it was beautifully written. You did an amazing job at writing it. But you probably would like to know why I kissed you.

“Well, yes, that and of course the other thing.” Joel choked up.

“To put it simply, after all the time I spent with you that season, I just couldn’t help it. Especially once you said "I love you”.”

Joel replayed that in his mind. He couldn’t help it. Does that mean..?

“Which is why I want to say that I like you too.”

Joel was in shock.

“I…didn’t expect this.” Joel said with a smile on his face.

“Neither did I, may I give you a kiss?” Etho calmly said.

Joel nodded. Etho then pulled down his mask to reveal his face for the first time. The scar on his red eye went all the way down to his jaw. Joel only vaguely remembers Etho’s full face from Double Life, but it felt completely different to then.

Etho leaned in and then his lips were on Joel’s.

It was soft and gentle, it felt raw, and real.

“Did you like that?” Etho smiled.

Joel kissed him back in response. Of course he liked it. It was the best thing ever. He had his hands on Etho’s face. Etho backed Joel into the wall behind them.

Soon, Joel wanted more, he wanted more out of the kiss. He tried to put his tongue into Etho’s mouth, but failed.

“So quick to do more, huh? I can help you with that, darling.”

Darling. Darling. Joel was weak at the knees.

Etho rested his hands on Joel’s waist and they continued kissing, and Etho opened up Joel's mouth and slipped his tongue in. Etho moved his tongue around and started licking Joel’s tongue.

Joel moaned, and ended up covering his mouth, that had never happened before. Etho had a smirk on his face.

“SHUT UP! THIS IS NEW TO ME OKAY??”

Etho giggled. “It’s okay, I understand. Can I try something else?”

“Yeah, okay.” Joel half-smiled. He was still a bit flustered from before.

Etho creeped down his neck and started licking it, and then started sucking on his skin.

Joel’s eyes rolled back into his head. He never knew what this felt like, and it was amazing.

He started doing different spots, and Joel noticed the growing marks on his neck, he whimpered in enjoyment. He was loving every minute of it. They started making out again, Etho slowly putting his knee between Joel’s leg.

“AHH!!”

Both of them turned to see Grian standing there, shocked.

“Oh…my…God…” He said, smirking. “I’m telling everyone about this.”

“GRIAN NO!!” Joel yelled.

“GUYS GUYS GUYS!! JOEL AND ETHO WERE MAKING OUT!!” Grian shouted while running off back to everyone.

They both heard a bunch of gasps and ‘I called it’ and other stuff similar. Joel groaned and put his head on Etho’s shoulder.

“For fuck’s sake…” Joel sighed.

“Hey,” Etho said, pulling Joel’s head up to his level. “Who cares, it’s not like they’ll hate us for it.”

“Yeah, but it’s gonna be annoying when we go out there.”

“So?” Etho smiled. He pulled his mask back up. Joel smiled back.

“Okay okay, let’s just go talk to them, we kind of owe them an explanation anyways.” Joel laughed.

They both walked out to meet a buzzing crowd of hermits, asking a lot of questions. All they both said is that Joel sent Etho a letter and now they are dating.

“Okay but why were you two making out??” Impulse asked.

They both decided not to answer that question.

Eventually, the party died down and everyone started heading home.

Joel and Etho were saying goodbye to Pearl, when Joel asked Etho an interesting question.

“Do..you wanna come back to my place? It’s only a short walk, and it’ll save you from having to go all the way back home…”

“Of course I’ll come back to your place Joel, C’mon, let’s go.”

And they both went back to Joel’s base for the night.