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Sodachi was scared. But how could she not be? It was a terrifying situation she was in.
She had come too far to chicken out now. Not when she was already standing outside the hotel.
She and the other woman had traded pictures, so she knew who she was looking for, and so did the other woman. In light of that, Sodachi shouldn’t have been trying to hide her face. But she felt embarrassed. She didn’t want to be seen standing outside of a love hotel. Even if it was unlikely that someone would recognize her, it was still embarrassing. There was only one reason someone would be outside of a love hotel. Everyone could tell what she was there for.
Sex.
There was a tap on Sodachi’s shoulder that made her nearly jump out of her skin. She turned around to see the woman that she had been talking with standing in front of her. The woman waved. Then, as if to prove her identity, she held up her phone, which had her dating profile on it. “It’s Hitomi. Sodachi, right?”
Sodachi nodded. She didn’t know how to respond. After a few attempts, she choked out a simple, “Yes.”
Not only would Sodachi be having sex, but here was the woman she would be having it with. A complete stranger.
Well, maybe not a complete stranger. They had been talking for a little bit. A few days. Dozens of words had been shared between already.
So, a complete stranger.
But those few dozen words they had shared contained necessary information. In particular, their names, as well as the fact that it would be Sodachi’s first time. It would not be Hitomi’s.
Now that they were both there, they headed inside. A room had already been booked online, so they checked in and got the keys. The walk to the room, down hallways and up a staircase, was awkward. Was Sodachi supposed to say something? She had no idea.
The hotel room was nice enough, at least. Nicer than any other hotel room Sodachi had stayed in, but admittedly, she didn’t do that often.
Hitomi sat down on a couch underneath the window on the far side of the room. Sodachi followed and sat down on a chair nearby. She was thankful when Hitomi was the one to start a conversation. At least as thankful as she could be, considering the situation.
She had wanted this, hadn’t she? She shouldn’t be so nervous.
“This is your first time, right?” Sodachi nodded. “Is that your first time with a woman, or your first time at all?”
Sodachi nodded again, before realizing that it wasn’t a yes or no question. “First time at all.” Sodachi had made it to the age of 20 without having sex once. Hitomi was only a couple years older than her, judging by the age on her profile, but she seemed much more experienced.
“It’s fine if you’re nervous. But I want to make sure that you’re okay with what we’re going to do. You might not know your limits yet.”
She was definitely more experienced.
“I… I guess I will be relying on you to guide me. I hope I’m not a burden.”
That made Hitomi laugh. “You don’t need to worry. You won’t be a burden. Sex is a two person activity. We make each other feel good. But I can guide you at the start.”
“I… Okay.” Sodachi nodded. “Thank you.”
Hitomi smiled a gentle smile. “Do you want to talk a little before we start? Maybe that can help you calm down first.”
“Yeah. I think that would be good.” Sodachi’s words were kurt and sudden, but still shaky.
“Mhm.” Hitomi’s response was a voiceless hum. She stood and walked over to the bed, but before she sat down, she asked, “Is it okay if I undress?”
They would have to get naked at some point, right? Sodachi nodded. Then, as Hitomi started undressing, Sodachi stood and did the same.
Sodachi had seen naked women before. It shouldn’t have been novel. But this was the first time in quite a while that she was seeing one in real life. She blushed and turned away, which provoked a giggle from Hitomi.
“It’s okay. We can go at your pace.”
They sat down on the bed together. Different sides, not touching. But it still felt intimate. They were both naked in a room together. It was a prelude to whatever was going to happen next.
“This is your first time, right? So what inspired you to seek out a hookup?”
Sodachi blushed. So might for smalltalk. That was too serious a question to take lightly. Or maybe it was light for Hitomi, and Sodachi was overthinking things.
“Well… It’s a few different things, I guess. I don’t know a lot of people. But even the people I do know… I don’t want to do something like this with someone I already know. I don’t know. It’s hard to even consider that.”
Hitomi nodded. “I understand. I mean, if I didn’t feel similarly, I wouldn’t also be using an app for hookups. It’s nice to have something be a one and done, right?” She thought for a moment. “Why women? Are you a lesbian?”
“Well, I suppose I have to be…” Sodachi laughed, hoping it might get taken as a joke. “I… considered trying to hook up with a guy, but it didn’t feel right, so I didn’t.”
“We all have our own preferences. I don’t mind men, but a lot of the women I sleep with do. It’s pretty normal.”
“Right…”
“Let’s talk about our bodies. How well do you know your own?”
Sodachi cocked her head, quizzically. “What do you mean?”
“Do you masturbate?” Sodachi blushed, which provoked Hitomi to follow that with, “I’m asking if you know what helps you get off.”
Sodachi gave Hitomi a blushy shrug. She did actually have some kind of answer to that question, but not the words to say it aloud.
Hitomi took it as a no. “That’s okay. We can figure this out together. And I assure you, I’m very good at figuring out girls’ weak spots.” She laughed a little, before recovering. “Is it okay if I touch you?”
“I don’t think we would be here if I wasn’t,” Sodachi murmured.
Hitomi nodded, then reached over and placed a hand on Sodachi’s thigh. She started rubbing lightly. Then she asked, “How is this?”
Sodachi thought for a moment, then shrugged. “It’s alright, I suppose. Tickles a little.”
“Is that it?”
“I think so.”
“Interesting.”
“What does that mean?”
“That you’re not as sensitive as me.”
“Is that bad?”
“Not necessarily. We’ll still have fun one way or the other.”
The nervousness was beginning to fall away slightly. It was being replaced by a feeling of inadequacy. Being faced with someone much more familiar with sex made Sodachi realized that she was unprepared. Should she have read up on this beforehand? Looked at some Wikipedia pages? She had no idea what she was doing.
Hitomi said that she would help Sodachi through the process, but it still felt nervewracking.
“How are you feeling? Do you think you’re ready to start?”
Sodachi wasn’t sure. But if she kept delaying, then they might sit there talking until sunrise. What a waste of time that would be.
Hopefully, by the time the run rose, sex with a stranger wouldn’t be such a strange concept. Or at the very least, sex would feel more familiar.
The only way to know would be to try.