Comestible

Tony hummed happily as he cooked in Gibbs kitchen. Cooking distracted him from his worries about what would happen when Senior showed up. Unfortunately he wasn’t likely to get his wish and have this be one of the times Senior was too busy for him.

Gibbs wrapped his arms around Tony’s stomach from behind. Resting his chin on Tony’s shoulder, he asked. “What are you making?”

Turning his head to steal a kiss, Tony smiled. “Fusilli Rustica”

“Smells wonderful.” Gibbs commented moving in for a deeper kiss than the quick one Tony had stolen. Slipping his tongue into Tony’s mouth, he moaned. Pulling back, he continued. “Tastes good too.”

“Oh stop, you charmer.” Tony laughed swatting at Gibbs half heartedly.

Gibbs smiled glad to see Tony in good spirits even if he suspected it wouldn’t last long.

Tony cringed as the doorbell rang. “That’s bound to be my father. Answer it would you?” Tony asked stealing another kiss to comfort himself.

“Of course. Relax. It will be fine.” Gibbs chucked Tony’s chin in reminder to keep his chin up and not let his father get to him too much.

Gibbs opened the door, but blocked the way inside instead glaring Senior into submission. He didn’t appreciate the way Senior had behaved yesterday or in the past and he wanted to make sure Senior understood where he stood before he let him anywhere near Tony.

Senior gulped as he met Gibbs eyes. He badly wanted to look away from the stare that seemed to look right through him and find him wanting. He hadn’t been this shaken up since he was a kid and had to deal with the normal childhood bullying. He’d been determined that no one would ever bully him again, but yet here he was feeling like a child around this man. “Uh. Are you going to let me in?”

Gibbs glared at him again for daring to speak, but finally he must have decided Senior was suitably cowed and stepped back enough to let him into his house.

Senior sniffed the air. “Smells good.”

Gibbs growled and leaned in close to Senior’s ear whispering, “Don’t mistake this for generosity on my part. I’m only doing this for your son. He still wants to believe in you and to actually have a dad not a biological father who ignores him. You’re on thin ice here and I will not hesitate to put you back outside this house if you hurt Tony more.” Out loud, he replied. “Tony’s cooking. It’s guaranteed to be good.”

Senior looked ashen as if the idea that he’d ever hurt Tony had shocked him. He didn’t know what to say and continued the rest of the way into the house rather subdued.

Ignoring Senior’s crisis of conscience, Gibbs headed back into the kitchen and dropped a kiss on Tony’s head. “He’s here. How do you want to play this?”

“Let me just get the pasta going and turn the sauce to simmer. Then we can make nice for 10 minutes before it will be ready.” Tony responded with a less than genuine smile already slipping into his mask for Senior.

“Sure. I’ll go entertain him in the meantime.” Gibbs walked back out to the living room where Senior had haphazardly sat in a chair clearly lost in his thoughts. That suited Gibbs just fine and he sat on the couch content to be silent for now.

Tony joined them relatively quickly taking a seat besides Gibbs relaxing into Gibbs side like that sat that way every day. “Dad?” He prompted confused by his unusually silent father.

“Just thinking.” Senior mused hardly paying attention to Tony at all still lost in his thoughts.

“What about?” Tony probed trying to understand why Senior was here if he wasn’t going to beg for money or whatever.

“You, me, your life. Regrets.” Senior’s face grew even more somber than it had been as if he truly were regretful.

“You seem unusually introspective. Did what I say yesterday really make that much of an impact?” Tony was actually a bit taken aback by how his father was behaving. It’s really hard to keep his heart hardened against someone that seems to genuinely regret their behavior, but by the same token he didn’t think anything would actually change even though the regret appeared genuine.

“No, but it opened my eyes to how you perceived my behavior. Have I really hurt you that badly over the years?” Senior’s face showed confusion mixed with hurt and sadness.

“Physically, no. But emotional wounds always hurt worse than the physical ones and take the longest time to heal.” Tony replied frankly and honestly.

“I’m sorry, son.” Senior apologized.

“For what? I already accepted your apology yesterday.” Tony dismissed the apology.

“I came here wanting to share one last investment with you. It was supposed to be the last one, the motherload that would set both of us up for life.” Senior’s tone dripped with sorrow only now understanding how far off base he had been.

“I never wanted or needed your money, dad.” Tony replied sadly.

“I know. I realized that yesterday. I also realized that instead of supporting you, all I’d really done is miss out on my life with you.” Senior dropped his gaze staring at his feet almost ashamed of his actions.

Tony got up and stalked into the kitchen his body thrumming as he attempted to control his emotions. He would not lose it in front of his father. Quickly finishing up the sauce and pasta, he moved it onto serving dishes.

Gibbs glanced after Tony as he went to the kitchen, but knew Tony needed a moment to get himself back under control. He stayed in the living room and watched Senior suspicious that this was another ruse by the man and not genuine thought to actually change. Though he also knew that if he had a chance to be with Kelly again after many years, he’d do his best to grasp it.

In some ways his military days squandered his time with Kelly though he hadn’t seen it that way at the time. He hoped Senior really was changing not because he sympathized with Senior even though Senior often reminded him of mistakes he’d made in the past, but because Tony deserved to have everything he wanted and Tony wanted a dad.

Tony finally had his emotions under control and with the table fully set and ladened with food, he called out, “Food is ready.”

Gibbs immediately rose from his seat and made his way to the dining table. Dropping a kiss on Tony’s cheek he sat down in one of the chairs.

Senior following him in, noticed the kiss. “So that’s new.”

Tony just gave him a blank stare. “Dad.”

“What? Can’t a guy comment on his kid’s choice of partners.” Senior asked falling back on poor attempts at humor to cover the fact that he truly had no idea how he was supposed to respond in this situation.

“Are you sure this is the way you want this conversation to go? I’m certain Gibbs will be happy to escort you to the door if you take one step out of place and then we’d have to eat all this pasta ourselves.” Tony narrowed his eyes. This was their home and he wasn’t about to have Senior come between them.

“Not a hardship.” Gibbs grunted though whether he was referring to eating all the comestibles or escorting Senior out was anyone’s guess.

“It’s a little late for you to suddenly start caring about my life, after all.” Tony continued ignoring Gibbs comment.

“I’ve always cared.” Senior protested.

“No, stop. Not at the table. If you want to fight about this save it for after we’re done eating.” Tony growled softly and menacingly.

“I just wanted to congratulate you. You are happy, aren’t you?” Senior tried to smooth things over like usually worked with his marks.

“Yes, dad, Jethro makes me happy. Now drop it.” Tony added with a stern gaze as he immediately dished himself some of the pasta and started eating as a hint that talking time was over. Tony hated that his father made him feel this way like he was some criminal for being happy. Now the wonderful food that he prepared simply tasted comestible to him, a particularly dry cardboard taste as his dad had soured his thoughts and he couldn’t even taste the food anymore.

Jethro and Senior both dug into the food moaning and complimenting Tony on how good it was, but Tony wasn’t paying attention. His dad’s words had really gotten to him. He knew he shouldn’t let them bother him that he and Jethro had something good, but his dad’s words made it feel tainted in his mind. That’s why he’d stopped him before he could do more damage without meaning to. Finally, after he’d only managed about half his plate, he stood up from the table and took his plate into the kitchen. Throwing out the rest of the food on his plate, he walked upstairs to the room Jethro and he shared.

Jethro glared at Senior. “I don’t give a damn what you think of me, but so help me if you’ve hurt Tony again you won’t be welcome in this house.” With that Jethro stormed off after Tony to see if he was ok.

Finding Tony lying on their bed haphazardly, Jethro asked. “You ok?”

In a rare moment of honesty, Tony replied “No.” in a down trodden tone.

“Can I help?” Jethro moved closer to Tony intending to comfort him.

“Not right now. I just need to be alone for now.” Tony sighed softly lost in remembered pain of his youthful days with his father.

“What do you want me to do about, Senior?” Jethro probed trying to see if there was anything he could do to help.

“I don’t care. Just don’t kill him.” Tony mumbled turning away from Jethro as he felt tears prick his eyes. He had really wanted Senior to be different. He had really wanted Senior to care about him, but he couldn’t trust Senior and he didn’t want to deal with Senior making a joke of his relationship with Jethro who was the one good person he had in his life. He wiped a tear from his eye. It hurt giving up his childhood dream of having a dad who cared and Senior’s pretend regrets only made it worse.

“Ok. I’ll take care of everything.” Jethro promised his eyes growing dark as he watched his lover curl in on himself obviously in pain.

Watching Tony, Jethro waited a few minutes, but when no more words were forthcoming he turned and left to deal with Senior. As he approached Senior, he ordered. “You, outside.”

Senior spluttered, but moved to the front door. “What’s the matter? Why am I being treated like this?”

Gibbs opened the door and gestured for Senior to go outside. Following him out, Gibbs shut the door behind him. Gibbs glared disappointed that Senior didn’t even realize that Tony’s behavior wasn’t normal even after he’d threatened him if he hurt Tony. Shaking his head, he continued. “We’re doing this out here because I don’t want to upset Tony even more.”

“Junior? What? He’s fine.” Senior responded confused.

“He’s not fine. He’s about as far from fine as you can be without physically being injured. You know he hates being called Junior? That he just sees it as a reminder that you only think of him as less than you?” Gibbs pointed out getting up in Senior’s face with each word.

“And what about you? Using him for his body, only?” Senior returned determined to hold his own if he was being attacked.

Gibbs shook his head sadly. “You really do believe that you’re better than him, don’t you? Well I’ve got news for you. I’d take him over you any day. He’s the best damn officer I’ve ever had and an even better friend even before we were lovers.”

Senior blinked. “But what?”

“You know we deal with guys like you all the time. Guys who can’t see past their nose, but think they know everything anyway. I allowed you to come here because I hoped that you were actually seeing your son, but I guess you weren’t. If you had been you wouldn’t have joked about our relationship. Whether or not you actually meant well treating it like a joke is a sure fire way to hurt him and make him think you see him as a joke.” Gibbs eyes blazed with each word and Senior kept taking backwards steps to try and get away from the fire in Gibbs’ eyes that he would swear was going to jump out and ignite him if anyone asked him.

“I didn’t mean any harm.” Senior whimpered.

“And that makes it worse because you don’t even realize the pain you cause. Just because you don’t mean to hurt him, doesn’t mean you haven’t hurt him and in fact it hurts worse when someone hurts you and then says that they didn’t mean to especially someone like you who makes him feel like the fact that you hurt him is a failing of his and not allowed when the opposite is true. You are the failure. You are the one who never should have hurt him. Now get out of here before I break my promise to your son and actually harm you.” Gibbs growled.

Senior squeaked and turned tail and ran back to his car peeling out of the driveway as fast as he could desperate to get away from Gibbs.

Gibbs sighed. That hadn’t appeased his temper at all. Knowing he needed to be calm for Tony’s sake, he went down to his basement to hammer a few nails in hoping that would get the worst of it out so he could return and comfort Tony without making things worse.

Tony cringed as he heard the tires spin in the driveway. He hoped that Gibbs hadn’t gone too overboard, but wasn’t up to dealing with either Gibbs or his dad right now. He listened to Gibbs’ footsteps enter the house and sighed in relief when they made their way to the basement instead of up to their room.