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Tony Stark has been a lot of things in his life. He’s been rich, he’s been disowned, he’s been kidnapped, he’s been drunk, he’s been in charge, he’s been high, he’s been a chameleon…
He’s never been in love.
In lust, sure. Basically in heat? Absolutely. So many partners that he couldn't wait to claw the clothes off of and they were the same. But as he entered his 35th year, he’d never been in love.
His life was currently a lot of things. He’s currently pretty rich because he gets bored and invents things and those things get patents and he sells those back to his mother’s company. He’s currently a Nobel Prize winner in Economics, who does guest lectures around the world on the economic argument for prioritizing the education of young girls. He’s currently really into a rewatch of Seinfeld, cold pizza for breakfast, and trying not to count down the days until he was, once again, on the campus of Stonybrook University in Connecticut.
He was currently failing.
“Pep?” Tony called as he stepped into his best friend’s apartment. “Rhodey?”
“Kitchen,” Rhodey called back and Tony padded his way there – a well-worn path after so many years.
“Have you gotten a chance to check in with Parati?” Tony asked as soon as he sees Pepper with his schedule pulled up on her computer. He’d hired her as his PA ten years ago, and she probably has ten other roles besides that now, including research partner, but she only trusted herself with his schedule.
“Have you gotten a chance to use your words?” She asked pointedly.
“Virginia, cut it out,” Tony protested. “He’s with Steve the blond triangle. I just…I just like being around them, that’s all.”
It’s a quiet admission, but it costs him. And he knows that Pepper and Rhodey both know it.
“I did background checks,” Rhodey offered. As Chief of Police, he had access to things Tony could only hack into. “Bucky is really James, which I know you know, clean record, lived at three addresses, including the one he now shares with Steve. He has two masters’ degrees in history and organizational leadership, so square that circle, and he runs the honors college at Stonybrook.”
“I know,” Tony said. “I know all of that. I’m assuming his boyfriend is clean, too?”
Rhodey nods curtly. “Like, creepily so. He’s a walk-old-ladies-across-the-street type.”
“Tony’s a sucker for those,” Pepper contributes unhelpfully.
Tony wants to put his head through a dishwasher. “They. Are. Together. I just like being with them. I don’t get to be…I mostly have to…Listen…I don’t get to have friends, really, right? That’s what being my parent’s son meant when I was younger - I had hangers on, and not friends, and now my job is weird, and people assume I’m fucking Doogie Houser –”
“No one knows that reference, Tones,” Rhodey commented. “Just because that one professor used it –”
“Fine,” Tony interrupted. “I have you two, and I love you two, but…Yeah, when do I get to go back?”
Pepper looks up from her computer and smiles. “Next week.”
The campus was decorated for Christmas and it was Bucky’s favorite time of year. Stonybrook had a lot of ancient trees with draped branches that – when adorned with twinkle lights – made the whole thing look like Mr. Tumnus was about to pop out. He whistled as he walked along the path between the theater building – where he’d just been to deliver a hoagie to his roommate because musical practice was going long – and his own. Part of running the Erskine Honors College was that he lived in the building so that the students could feel they had a parental figure. Most of his students were anxious, nerdy little beans (as his sister called them) and he was happy to give them a soft place to land as they figured out who they were.
He’d gotten the job through his childhood best friend, and foster sibling – Steve Rogers. Steve had gone to Stonybrook on a baseball scholarship, and stayed around. When they built Erskine, Steve advocated hard for Bucky to get the gig. Thankfully, Steve could be pretty convincing if he needed to be.
“Hi Bucky!” A call rang out behind him and he turned to see Peter Parker running up behind him. “Did you hear?”
Bucky shook his head. “Did I hear what, kid?”
“They got Mr. Stark back, for the Parkman Lectures next week? I know he’s not a physicist, but he’s Tony Stark and so I guess the science department said it was okay, but he’s gonna talk on the…” Peter got out his phone and scrolled for a few seconds. “It’s called ‘The Quiet Wonder of Enough’ and I have no idea what that means, but I wanna find out.”
Bucky grinned externally but did his absolute best to not freak the fuck out. “You should go for sure. If you have trouble getting tickets, let me know, I’m sure I can talk to Dr. Strange and work something out.”
Peter nodded and then told Bucky he was late for a study group and took off at a clip.
“Fantastic,” Bucky muttered under his breath. As he walked, he ran his hands through his shoulder-length hair so much that he could feel the volume start to build. Tony Stark was a problem – and one Bucky had no solution for.
He’s only a problem because you won’t say anything, the Steve in his head interjected.
“Not now, Brain Steve,” Bucky muttered.
Fucking ask him, bud, Brain Steve continued.
“I am not asking a Nobel Prize Winner out to coffee,” Bucky said to the air. He says the phrase so often it’s a rosary.
The cycle continued in his head the whole way back to his apartment, and for a few hours after that, until Steve barged in his front door.
“Dude, knock?”
Steve shook his head and Bucky noticed he was out of breath. “He’s not here next week.”
“What? Who?”
“Stark,” Steve heaved. “He’s…well…bud, he’s here. He’s here, now, and he’s on your roof and he just asked Wilson where you are.”
Bucky felt his entire body freeze. What was he supposed to do with that?
“What did you tell him, punk?”
“I told him that you were in your apartment, probably doing sad, lonely, middle aged things like knitting,” Steve said and pointed at Bucky’s knitting.
“Fucker, watch me make you that tea cozy now,” Bucky muttered, but he does put it down. “I’m not going up there. I can’t.”
“Right, but you can,” Steve insisted. “Bro, shoot your shot. He hangs with us every time he comes, he gave us his personal number he doesn’t give anyone else. He talks to you way more than he talks to me.”
Bucky shrugs one shoulder. “I text him a little, it’s not…it’s not a thing, Steve. He’s fucking Tony Stark, and I’m…no, I don’t wanna waste his time, he must be here for prep or whatever.”
“He’s not.”
Bucky froze once again as Tony stepped from behind Steve.
“Sorry, it’s kinda cold, and I did the roof thing thinking about you said you taught astronomy sometimes and I was gonna ask about stars but it’s fucking freezing and space actually kinda freaks me out, so I followed Steve, and then I heard some bullshit about wasting my time?”
Bucky cleared his throat. He felt super awkward being the only one sitting, so he stood and walked until he was just in front of Tony. “Whenever you come to town, you always contact Steve first, so I figured you wanted to do stuff with students I don’t…”
Tony cocked his head to one side and then looked at Steve. “In my memories, he finishes sentences.”
“Usually,” Steve confirmed with a tone of glee Bucky could really do without.
Tony took a deep breath and Bucky could feel the weight of his full attention. “So, I had a real interesting conversation with Steve yesterday. I texted to ask if he wanted me to bring anything from Mom’s collection and he mentioned that he was excited for the gala opening because he was bringing a girl he wanted to impress, and that made me clarify something, because I’ve thought you two were together for the whole time –”
Bucky wasn’t able to hold back his laughter. “Sorry, no. Just, no.”
Steve laughed. “I said the same.”
“And that kinda changed things for me,” Tony said and took a step closer to Bucky, “because I’ve wanted to ask you on a date for about two years, and I was holding off because I don’t, you know, but if you’re really single and not in a thing and you’re up for coffee, I dunno, I was thinking –”
“Common Grounds is open for two more hours,” Bucky interrupted him, “but it’s crawling with students. I have a Keurig?”
“Goodbye, Steve, thanks for the escort,” Tony responded and Steve’s laugh echoed even after Bucky had closed the door behind him.
Several Years Later
“Are you going to continue your lecture series, Dr. Stark?”
Tony played with his wedding ring as he answered the question. “I’ve been traveling a lot, I’m probably going to stay home for a little bit. Actually see my husband, pet our cat, live by her rules, the normal.”
The room chuckled and he flashed a smile.
“Your titles are always intriguing,” another reporter spoke up. “The Quiet Wonder of Enough”, “The Easy Silence of Belonging”, and the like. Can you tell us why?”
Tony raised an eyebrow. “You want me to tell you why I give my lectures those titles? It’s because that’s what they’re about.”
Next to him, his writing partner, Dr. Bruce Banner, groans softly, but loudly enough that the reporters hear and they laugh. Tony and Bruce weren’t unfamiliar entities.
“Okay, so take Quiet Wonder of Enough,” Tony started and took a sip of his water. “I’m an economist, fundamentally, and I see the world through patterns of resource management. I study hundreds of thousands, probably millions, of people who cannot see patterns in their consumption. They just need more, all the time. More, more, more, but if they could decide what their definition of ‘enough’ is, they’ll be able to step out of the ‘more’ train and see the world around them. And our world is full of wonder, and having enough is a quiet decision. More is loud. Enough is quiet.”
Tony cleared his throat. “Plus, that phrase is my husband’s, he used it in one of his columns and I was trying real hard to impress him when I did the first title. Then it was a thing and I kinda had to keep going.”
After a beat, the room roared in laughter. A collection of Tony’s lectures – with introductions and context provided by Bucky – had just won a Pulitzer and he admitted his first (now famous) lecture title was because he was trying to get laid.
He looks up and catches Bucky’s eye in the back of the room. They’d been married for five years, so Tony knows what that look meant. It meant Bucky was going to kill him but then also reward him – and he’d decide what order it all went it.
Tony had found that marriage was also a quiet wonder. It might not be for others – Steve’s seems particularly loud – but his was a quiet wonder and he was grateful.